Untrue

Tony sits with his head in his hands because this has all gone to shit a whole hell of a lot faster than he thought it would. But everything always comes crashing down sometime and he really only has himself to blame though he could have done without Steve blurting out that Tony cheated on him with Bucky to Peter. Now he’s pissed off at him and at his aunt May’s and May left him a pretty snotty voicemail he’s elected to ignore for now. Let her think what she wants, and most of it was true anyway.

“Hey,” a small voice says from behind him and he turns to find Bucky there with a cup of coffee. He smiles and reaches out for it, lifting it off Bucky and taking a drink of it. Its way too hot but he doesn’t much care at the moment. “Sorry, about all this,” Bucky murmurs.

He shakes his head, “bound to happen eventually. S’not your fault. I am kind of curious though, about why you chose meof all people.” He knows why he chose Bucky, but it does seem weird to him that Bucky chose him being so close to Steve and all.

Bucky walks over, sitting beside the chair Tony is in with his back to Tony’s makeshift desk. “You don’t tiptoe, you don’t expect me to be someone I’m not, you don’t act like I’m a bomb about to go off, and when you told me that it wasn’t really me it wasn’t because I wouldn’t do that, it was because people do that I guess. Break and do things they wouldn’t do otherwise.”

The way he says it sounds like he doesn’t believe Tony’s words so he sighs. “You want examples?” he asks. “Because I can give them to you and I can guarantee every sad story I’ve ever heard of people being kidnapped and tortured into doing something nuts suffered less than you and believe me they suffered.”

Bucky frowns a little, “you have actual examples of that?”

Tony huffs out a laugh, “yeah Buck I do. Here,” he murmurs, picking up the nearest tablet. He finds what he’s looking for and hands over the information to Bucky, “people do crazy shit when they’re pushed to the edge. Technically you don’t even need torture for that, but these people happened to have been in situations similar to yours.”

He leaves Bucky with the information and goes back to trying to figure out how the fuck he’s going to deal with this mess. Steve left after a lot of yelling that sent Bucky into a panic attack that led to Tony trying to calm him down which led to Steve yelling about that too. And that’s what led to Peter finding out about this whole thing because that’s when he happened to walk in. ideally he’d like to explain things to Peter but what’s he going to say? He liked that someone was paying attention to him so he decided to sleep with his husband’s best friend? That’s cold and callus and he knows it so explaining things is pretty much useless. If Peter asks he’ll answer, but he knows Peter won’t like the answer.

Then there’s Steve to consider not that Tony wants to but he hasat least earned his anger this time so Tony doesn’t really know what to do. And Bucky, that’s his primary concern because that, at least, he can do something with. He’s given it thought, his relationship with Bucky, and he’s decided he’d like to try and figure things out. His relationship with Steve is pooched, has been for years and there’s no sense clinging to the past like he has been. It’s a bit Steve and he knows how much he hates when Steve does it. And Bucky, they have things in common, they get along fine, they have good chemistry. He can see them in a relationship in a way he’s realized that’s just not viable with Steve. Things with Bucky are easy, calm, and even with this fucking disasterof a situation he doesn’t really feel like things with Bucky are going anywhere. It’s a far cry from what he felt with Steve every time they fought about something so he figures that’s a good sign.

“Hey,” Bucky murmurs, pressing a hand to Tony’s thigh. “I… why hasn’t anyone shown me this stuff before?” he asks.

 Tony shrugs, “guess no one thought to.”

“Steve should have,” he says in an almost accusatory tone and Tony can’t believe he’s about to do this but he sighs.

“Steve probably doesn’t know about half of this stuff. He’s caught up on a lot, but most of the people I pulled up are minor cultural touchstones. He’s maybe heard of Patty Hearst and I don’t think he would have thought to make the comparison between you and anyone else,” Tony says. It mostly only came to him on a whim so Steve, who certainly has less knowledge than he does, wouldn’t have even thought about it. Assuming he knows any of the people Tony pulled up existed in the first place.

Bucky looks angry and a little bitter and Tony has no idea why. “Well maybe all that time he spent telling me it wasn’t reallyme that did all that stuff he should have shown me thisinstead of insisting I didn’t reallydo the things I did because ‘I know you and you wouldn’t do that.’ He doesn’tknow me, and I diddo all that stuff. I killed people beforeI got tortured by HYDRA, what the hell makes him think I wasn’t capable of the shit HYDRA made me do?” he says, yelling by the time he finishes all that.

So that’swhy he and Steve don’t seem to get along much. Because Steve keeps trying to convince Bucky he’s the person he used to be and Bucky doesn’t feel he is that person. “Being a soldier and being a pawn are different things Buck, I say this because I know soldiers.” Rhodey in particular though he’s never really had the mentality of a good solider. He’s more of a leader and it shows in his career. There’s a reason he’s a full bird colonel and its because he’s a born leader and he finds that level of responsibility easy, natural. A good soldier wouldn’t find that kind of position as easy and rewarding as Rhodey does let alone everything else Rhodey does in his spare time.

But there’s still a difference between low ranking military personal and Bucky. “Soldiers still have free will, freedom of thought, and basic human rights after their training. You didn’t get to keep anything that was yours, including body parts and your sanity,” he adds softly.

Bucky shivers, deflating a little from his earlier angry outburst. “Still showed a capacity for violence,” he murmurs and Tony shakes his head.

“We all have a capacity for violence and that includes Steve, who’s probably the guy everyone in this country would chose as the pinnacle of morality.” Across the world, well, maybe some Canadians would chose Steve but most others wouldn’t. Too much bullshit American involvement for them to hold the level of trust in Steve Americans have even if, despite Tony wanting to strangle him more often than not, he’s a fundamentally good person.

“Even you?” Bucky asks and Tony laughs.

“Bucky if you think I haven’t killed people you aren’t paying attention. In my escape from Afghanistan alone I probably took out at least thirty people, more, maybe. And the devastation in New York,” Tony shakes his head. That he wasn’t really directly responsible for but still. Its not like hehelped. “And if you consider my past as a weapons manufacturer I probably have a kill count that makes you look like a saint. But if you want someone more your speed Natasha went through similar training as you in Russia and got so good at killing people she was known as ‘the red death’ before Clint managed to bring her in. Just because she did a lot of shitty things doesn’t mean she had no capacity for good too. And unlike Steve and I she didn’t have a choice in how she ended up participating in violence.” He and Steve haven’t really ever had their choice stripped from them like that. The closest comparables each of them have is Tony’s stint in Afghanistan and Steve waking up after being stuck in the ice.

Tony’s situation is a better fit for comparison, but it was still only temporary and he had the benefit of Yinsen, who Tony thinks is more of a hero than he is. Its not like he’d behere without Yinsen’s sacrifice. And Steve, maybe he’s lucky to have ever been imprisoned and captured but Tony is living proof that his removal from his original context has ruined his life and also everyone else’s around him.

“Natasha sets me on edge. Something about her is off,” Bucky says and Tony laughs a little.

“You can probably sense the amount of attention she pays to you. To everyone. Set me on edge too, but I got used to it. Took me years before I was fully convinced she wasn’t going to kill me in my sleep and I still don’t really care for when she makes me food, but evidence shows that she doesn’t really want me dead. If she did I would be.” He’s seen what Nat’s capable of and while she’s formidable in the field her real area of expertise is undercover. Nat is a force to be reckoned with when they’re working as a team but as a single woman in a room full of people that are usually larger than her with a lot more weapons? He’s not even sure Steve is more effective than her and he’s literally super human while Natasha isn’t.

Bucky considers this for a few moments. “Do I make people feel that way?” he asks.

“When you’re not in a mood, yeah you’re pretty intimidating.” Natasha hadn’t liked him around for months, tried to convince Steve to move him exactly once and Steve lost it. She’d gone to Tony after that, which is what prompted him to spend more time with him to begin with. At first Tony got that predatory vibe but it hadn’t taken long to learn that Bucky just didn’t know how notto do that. Tony took it upon himself to try and teach him how to be a person again and he guesses it worked because Natasha has only complained a few times since and its been some time since the last time. And she’s more comfortable around Bucky now, if he’s not in a mood.

“What do you mean in a mood?” Bucky asks.

“You know, when you’re like this. Usually you’re kind of bitchy, not that I’m complaining. And harsh, little bit too harsh but I think that’s mostly the result of a lack of socialization for so long and you mostly don’t make snide comments anymore so.” Sometimes he does, if he doesn’t like the person. Usually Steve and Clint are on the receiving end of any comments he makes while he generally leaves everyone else alone. Bucky’s only ever sociable if he’s in a mood.

Bucky looks confused. “I… I’m bitchy?” he asks, obviously confused.

“You once told Clint that he was a knock off of Robin Hood and twice as ineffective so yeah, kinda. Pretty sure you’ve learned to keep it yourself now but you used to just… say whatever.” Tony found it amusing but he’d been the only one so he figured he’d teach Bucky the ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say’ rule and it seems to have stuck. Mostly he makes comments to Tony under his breath if he makes them at all now.

“I… don’t think I’ve ever even spoketo Clint before,” Bucky murmurs and that’s not right.

“Buck, you pretty much hate the guy. No idea why you do, but he seems to irritate the hell out of you. Do… you not… remember that?” Because this isn’t the first time he’s forgotten something important but it seems to be a semi regular thing now and that can’t be good.

Bucky shakes his head. “No,” he murmurs, “I don’t remember that at all.”

*

Natasha is giving him judgmental looks but Tony doesn’t really care about that at the moment. “I think there’s something wrong with Bucky,” he tells her and she squints.

“Aside from him betraying his best friend to fuck you, which I called out weeksago, by the way,” she says and fine whatever.

“No, that’s not what I mean. Well, kind of it is, but… look just come here and watch this,” he says, gesturing to the screen in front of him. Natasha only gives him a few more moments of judgment before she walks over.

“What am I looking at?” she asks and he shakes head.

“Just watch and tell me if you notice anything. I don’t want to give you confirmation bias,” he tells her.

“Then don’t open with ‘I think something’s wrong with Bucky’ Tony. You should know this better than most, I already have confirmation bias,” she tells him.

He rolls his eyes because he knows how science works and while she’s not wrong she’s not totally right either. “Your interpretation of the data might be different than mine and I think we can all agree that screwing over your best friend is out of character for anyone, even if you’re estranged. So watch,” he tells her.

She looks like she might argue but she turns to the computer instead and gestures for him to go ahead. He plays the evidence he’s compiled and lets her draw her own conclusions about it. He’s got thoughts but he figures she might draw something different out of what he’s got given that she’s been through similar trauma as Bucky. Maybe he’s missing something that she can clue him in on that makes this make sense.

When she’s done with the video, which mostly consisted of Bucky’s contradictory tastes, evidence of memory loss and also the evidence that the things he doesn’t remember actually happened, and some other odds and ends Tony found in footage JARVIS gathered that seemed relevant to his searches, she turns to him. “Uh, I’m confused,” she says and Tony shrugs.

“Me too. The hell was with not being kissed since the forties when there’s plentyof video proof that’s not true. And the Clint thing. And his weird taste differences. And that time he forgot that he had a panic attack earlier the day before when that seems like a relevant thing to remember. Doesn’t make sense,” he says, shaking his head.

Natasha frowns and takes over the computer, going back over a few things herself before she shakes her head. “I… well, I noticed all this stuff before but put side by side like this in my opinion as a spy I don’t think that’s the same person.”

Which is the conclusion Tony drew. “We know that there are aliens that can replicate our appearances, but the files Fury had on them suggested they can mimic personality too.”

“Not well though,” Natasha points out.

“Well enough that you need to actively question them for a deep enough memory to find them out. If this is that than the alien isn’t even trying. Also what’s the goal? Its not like driving a wedge between Steve and I will do anything, that was already there,” he points out. “How’s a divorce help? Also Bucky seemed pretty happy that I was getting one anyway. Bitchy Bucky,” he clarifies.

“Both of them clearly have a thing for you but not bitchy Bucky seems to be the only one who feels actively guilty about it. So is aliens out or in?” she asks.

Tony shrugs, “in I guess, but I just don’t see the point in this invasion. There’s been no useful information gathered and I checked pretty fucking thoroughly by yourstandards. Like I followed your spy criteria and didn’t find anything that couldn’t be gathered from YouTube videos so,” he shakes his head. “I don’t know, the motivation just isn’t there.”

Natasha hums for a moment. “You already ruled that option mostly out, didn’t you?” she asks and he nods. Its still a possibility until he can definitively rule it out, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense at the moment. “So what’s your theory two?”

He sighs. “Aliens are probably more likely,” he says and Natasha raises an eyebrow. “When we got rid of the trigger words I… wonder if maybe we left something behind. Some… I don’t know, remnant of the Winter Soldier state. It could explain the callus nature, waspish attitude, and indifference to Steve but that does sound kind of nuts and I don’t know how that would work. The words were just that, words. I don’t see how it’d be possible to leave part of that behind.”

“Doesn’t need to be part of the words if the words activated a certain state that was preexisting,” Natasha says and Tony frowns.

“I know a guy, might be able to help. He knows things about psychology,” she says and Tony sighs.

“Sam Wilson, by any chance?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“So you havetalked to him. I like him, he’s got potential. And he’s got skills he’s good at hiding but I know he’s got more training than any normal military personal. Rhodey would be able to confirm so look into that. Also Steve’s been halfass having an affair with him, not that he’s reciprocated much even if he wants to,” she says and Tony’s eyebrows fly up.

“The hell encouraged that?” he asks, ignoring the hurt feeling in his chest because he has no right. Not after everything he’s done with Bucky. And maybe an alien. God, he misses the days where that sounded insane.

Natasha sighs. “Just because he’s right to be pissed off at you doesn’t mean he should have told Peter about all this like he did. He did it to hurt you and that’s a shitty thing to do, even if I get why he did what he did.”

Well, that’s not what he was expecting.