Untrue

The cool morning air is nice from up here, fresh. Bucky isn’t entirely sure how or why he came to prefer high places but he does, has for a long time. The bad news is that Tony does too and its not that Bucky avoids him, not really, its just that he doesn’t want to be around Tony that much. And not because of anything Tony does. Well okay, technically its everything Tony does, but he can’t help that Bucky has developed this stupid crush on him. He’s married, and that’s not all considering he’s married to Bucky’s best friend and yet every time Tony comes around he feels like he’s the only one who makes an effort to understand him.

Natasha always looks at him like she’s prepared for him to revert back to his Winter Soldier state, Clint follows her lead, Peter is a kid so he’s alright, and Steve always looks at him with these big doe eyes and tries to dredge up nostalgic memories he mostly doesn’t have. And he gets it, kind of, that Steve is lost. He can see that in the way he handles his life, and especially the way Steve handles him. It’s hard to be around him sometimes because he wants someone who doesn’t exist back, wants a life that doesn’t exist back.

Bucky isn’t the guy Steve misses, and Steve hasn’t been the skinny kid from Brooklyn that he knew and loved for a long, long time even before the war ended for them both. Its hard to be around someone who wants a fantasy back and most days Bucky feels like he’s mourning as much as Steve is because he’s lost everything from himself to his best friend. And it’s worse, seeing that Steve is right there in the flesh, but no longer the person Bucky knew. He thinks it’s hard for Steve too, but he doesn’t think Steve even realizes that he’s trying to grasp something long dead.

And then there’s Tony. He doesn’t walk on eggshells like Natasha and Clint, he doesn’t expect Bucky to be who he used to be like Steve, and he doesn’t seem to expect much of anything else out of him either. He just lets Bucky be and that… shouldn’t have resulted in the strange set of feelings he has for Tony, not that he’d ever act on them, but here he is.

“Hey,” Tony murmurs, setting tea down on the small table in front of Bucky. He sits down beside him and Bucky stupidly looks over, earning a small smile from Tony despite being clearly sleep mussed. Bad plan, he looks adorable with his hair all over the place and his eyes half closed like he’s still half asleep. He turns away before he can linger on any of the thoughts flying through his mind. “You okay? JARVIS says you’ve been up here for awhile,” he says.

Yeah, so he knows. “Couldn’t sleep,” he tells Tony. Not uncommon for him all things considered. He knows Tony doesn’t sleep either so they talk sometimes, never about Bucky’s past unless he brings it up himself. It’s the thing he likes about Tony the best, that he doesn’t want to hear war stories, or relive his time as the Winter Soldier, or what he did for the year Steve spent chasing him down. He just lets Bucky talk, offering input here and there without ever pushing. Its nice to have the space to do what he wants without having to play the role of Steve’s Best Friend, or Wounded Soldier, or Dangerous Assassin or whatever.

Tony hums a little, nodding because he knows how insomnia works. “Anything keeping you awake?” he murmurs and that’s a question that requires a long answer. There’s a lot that keeps him awake, mostly nightmares about HYDRA but he doesn’t want to talk about it. The dreams are enough.

“Not really,” he says and he knows Tony doesn’t buy it.

“Wanna watch a movie?” he asks instead of pushing it like most other people would.

Does he? He has no idea, he hasn’t really caught up with film since his time because he doesn’t really have an interest but he doesn’t want Tony to leave either. Fuck its selfish; lusting after his best friend’s husband but no one else treats him like this either. Piss poor excuse, he knows, but he also knows he wouldn’t act on it. Not really. There’s no harm to a movie so he shrugs.

“What do you have in mind?” he asks. He knows Tony likes sci-fi novels but he has no idea if that translates to film.

Tony grins, “Wonder Woman is always my go to,” he says and Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Like… the comic character?” he asks, feeling a bit stupid for it. But for all he knows Tony could have something else entirely in mind and the movie happens to have the name of a comic character from the forties.

Tony’s grin gets wider, “that’s the one. Its great, Diana was always my favorite Justice League character.”

“Justice League?” he asks, unfamiliar with the term.

For a moment Tony looks confused, “oh right, guess that was a bit after your time. Collection of superheroes working as a team. Wonder Woman is part of the team,” he says, thankfully not in that annoying patronizing way people did when he or Steve didn’t immediately get a reference to something. Happens a whole lot less to Steve now, given that he’s been around long enough to figure things out some but Bucky… hasn’t. Even his year on the run is fuzzy to him; he doesn’t remember most of it so clearly he didn’t catch up on much. He still loses time but he figures that’s what happens when HYDRA fries your brain for seventy years with electroshock torture.

“Is that what someone got their inspiration from for the Avengers? Because that’s what it sounds like.”

Obviously Tony hasn’t made the connection and honestly how could he not but he throws his head back and laughs anyway. “Wow, didn’t take Fury for a comic guy but it does sound like basically the same thing. Maybe he did, who knows. You should ask him the next time you see him,” Tony says, eyes bright.

“Something tells me he wouldn’t like that question. Come on, lets go watch Wonder Woman,” he says, curious to see what was made of the comic character.

*

Tony doesn’t know why Bucky gets in his weird moods but it happens semi frequently. He’ll be more skittish, usually retreating to quiet areas around the Tower and he generally doesn’t care for touch as much. He also looks haunted, profoundly so, so Tony tries to distract him some. It helps when he’s feeling jittery; haunted by his own past, so he figures Bucky appreciates it. Given that Tony seems to be the only one he doesn’t eventually slip when he’s in one of these moods he thinks he does okay.

He doesn’t really expect much in the way of affection from Bucky, he never gets the same kind of attention when Bucky’s like this, so he’s surprised when Bucky wraps an arm around him. “You’re shivering,” he murmurs softly, sparing him a glance and yeah okay, he’d been a bit chilly from his trip outside and he already knows super soldiers run hot. He’s not sure why, research on it has proven inconclusive, but the warmth is nice so he settles into it as the movie plays. He’s familiar with the storyline, he’s seen the movie probably more than what’s normal, but for Bucky its new to he watches his reactions to it.

That’s probably why he doesn’t notice Steve walk in until it’s way too late to pull away from Bucky but to his surprise he doesn’t even react. “Wonder Woman. They changed a bunch from her original backstory,” Steve says.

“Kind of like this version better,” Bucky says and okay. Technically they didn’t change that much anyway but Tony doesn’t feel like arguing it because if he does Steve will bring up that he was there and Tony will bring up that he’s read every Wonder Woman comic ever published so he’s not missing information and it’ll be a mess.

“Thought you were a Batman fan?” Steve asks, playful.

“There’s Batman movies too. They suck, but they exist,” Tony says. “Except the George Clooney version but that’s not because its good, its because of the iconic bat suit with nipples on it.”

He doesn’t expect a laugh out of Bucky but he gets one. Tony thinks it’s the first time he’s ever heard Bucky laugh when in one of these moods and even Steve looks surprised so he’ll guess Steve hasn’t heard many laughs out of him either. “What?” he asks and Tony grins, pulling his phone out of his pocket and finds a picture, showing Bucky, who starts laughing harder.

“I thought you were shitting me,” he says, doubling over a little. His arm tightens around him as he moves and Tony tries not to find joy in that given his husband is currently staring at him.

“There is no way that bat suit has nipples,” Steve says, looking a little irritated and is that jealousy or something else? Tony doesn’t want to feel his heart flutter a little at that, like Steve’s maybe upset by the image of his best friend with his arm around him laughing at something he brought up but it does. Tony extends his phone to Steve so he can see the bat nipples in their full glory and Steve wrinkles his nose at the image. “I stand corrected,” he mumbles.

“Bat nipples!” Bucky says, snorting.

“Boys,” Natasha says, hitting the scene with her red hair wild in her pajamas. “It is six thirty in the morning and therefore way to early to bring up the George Clooney bat nipples.”

“If it’s too early why are you up?” Tony counters but Nat nods at the TV.

“Wonder Woman theme woke me up and you know how I feel about Diana,” she says, walking over to the couch and throwing herself over it and half on to Tony, who yelps in protest. Bucky pulls him closer and Tony helps him out a little by moving closer himself because Natasha is a rude asshole who decided he’s a seat. Natasha frowns at them for a moment, eyes lingering on Bucky’s arm mostly around his waist now, before she hazards a glance over to Steve, who still doesn’t seem to have a problem with this. Natasha obviously sees something he doesn’t but she doesn’t say anything about it either.

Steve sighs, “Buck, you want coffee?” he asks and Bucky shakes his head.

“I have tea.” Because he only drinks tea if he’s in a mood, Tony wants to say, and he’s surprised Steve doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know why Bucky doesn’t prefer his usual coffee when he’s like this but that’s how he works Tony guesses.

Tony would ask for coffee but he’s pretty sure that’d turn into an argument too so he leaves it, content to make his own coffee later when Natasha has decided to no longer use his lap as a pillow. Her feet hang over the edge of the couch and she’s giving him a look like she’s trying to figure him out but he’s not someone she finds easy to read. Rare, for her, but then he finds her hard to read too and usually he’s pretty good at reading people so they have that in common. Steve eventually comes over with coffee and takes up residence beside Bucky, ignoring Tony as much as Tony is ignoring him. Natasha watches them as much as the movie, but whatever it is she notices she doesn’t feel the need to share. Tony is grateful for it because he doesn’t want to deal with it.

*

He’s not much paying attention as he makes his coffee hours late, stealing the pot from one very tired Peter even though it’s past noon, before Peter disappears with his own cup. Poor kid looks pissed off at the world, but Tony figures that’s normal for teenagers or at least it had been for him and Rhodey.

“Hey,” someone says and Tony jumps a little, turning to find Steve standing there. He looks Tony over like he’s trying to find something and Tony doesn’t know if he should be flattered Steve is looking in his direction at all or offended that he doesn’t really seem to be looking at him in any meaningful way. “What was that?” he asks, “earlier, with Bucky,” he adds when he seems to realize that his question is confusing.

Tony doesn’t want his stomach to flutter a little but its nice, the possibility that maybe Steve did care about that even if he didn’t much look like he did. He’s got an impressive poker face though so maybe Tony didn’t pick up on his actual feelings. He sets his coffee aside and walks over, settling a hand on Steve’s hip. “Nothing,” he murmurs even though it’s not technically true. Steve looks down at him and there’s a bit of the warmth that used to be there when they got together- not much, but a little. It’s not something Tony shouldn’t jump at but he does, reaching forward and running his fingers along Steve’s jaw the way he likes. Honestly, he almost forgot he knew Steve’s preferences.

Steve catches his hand though, looking away and that warmth, however brief it was, is now gone. Tony wants to ask what the hell he wants, why he’d even bother to ask about Bucky if he obviously doesn’t fucking care but he leaves it. Instead he snatches his hand away from Steve and grabs his coffee, fleeing the room feeling a mix of pissed off and hurt.

He doesn’t intend to run into Bucky in the hall back to his room, used to be Steve’s room too not that he can remember the last time he slept there, and Bucky catches him before he stumbles into the wall. “Wow, okay. Uh. You okay?” he asks, clearly uncomfortable and out of that weird mood of his. They come and go frequently with no real pattern to them, Tony’s tried to find one. Sometimes it’s more frequent if someone mentions HYDRA or his past as the Winter Solider, but even then the correlation isn’t strong.

“I’m fine,” he says, sounding ridiculously unconvincing.

Bucky clearly doesn’t buy it because he gives Tony a look, raising an eyebrow. “What is it?” he asks.

Oh, that’s a fucking list but right now he doesn’t really want to tell Bucky what his problem is all things considered. Bucky doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere though so he sighs, shaking his head. “Its stupid,” he says, “but sometimes I just wish Steve would pay attention to me the way he used to. I just… its nice to feel wanted.” And it is stupid considering how much he and Steve seem to do anything but get along but they did get married for a reason however hard it is to remember most of the time. He wants that back, the intimacy of it.

Bucky snatches his coffee cup from his hand and Tony frowns at him. “Come with me,” Bucky says, walking off with his coffee and Tony follows because what little choice does he have? He wants that coffee back and also whatever Bucky is up to has to be better than whatever the hell Tony was about to spend the rest of his day doing. He follows Bucky into his bedroom, allowing Bucky to shift him out of the way to shut the door before he runs off to put Tony’s cup on the nightstand.

Once he drops it off he walks over to Tony’s bed and sits on the edge of it, giving Tony a languid look. “Come over here,” he says, extending a hand in Tony’s direction. He goes over mostly out of curiosity, placing his hand in Bucky’s as he gets close. Bucky draws him in, other hand reaching out to settle on his hip for a moment as he looks him over. The lust is obvious on his features and Tony squirms a bit under the attention. “Come on,” Bucky murmurs, gently pulling him forward so Tony half falls into his lap. He rearranges himself so he’s straddling Bucky and Bucky grins, running his hands up Tony’s sides.

“The first time I saw you I was so distracted that Steve’s fucking shield beaned me in the head,” he says and Tony frowns. “Yeah, that’s right. The only reason you guys even managed to catch me to bring me in is because you’re so fucking gorgeous. Know how long it’s been since I messed something like that up?” he asks. Tony shakes his head because he obviously doesn’t know. Bucky leans forward and kisses him softly. “Sixty seven years. I don’t get distracted,” he tells Tony.

Tony laughs, shaking his head a little. “Do so. Steve distracted you,” he points out. “On the bridge.” Which is what started this whole mess and also relief efforts all over Washington of all places. Usually their messes aren’t so domestic but Steve had to go ruin Washington and get Fury killed. Okay, so maybe Fury wasn’t his fault and technically his death was slightly exaggerated but still.

Bucky shakes his head, “no he didn’t. I knew I knew him, but that didn’t change my orders or my focus. Not the way you did.”

“Yeah, well. You hadn’t been zapped in awhile,” Tony points out. Probably a factor, not being violently tortured so he forgets stuff.

“Tony,” Bucky tells him. “Listen to me. Just because Steve’s a fucking idiot who doesn’t know what he missing doesn’t mean no one else knows what he’s throwing away. Trust me, I’m not in the habit of ignoring gorgeous men who want my affection. Especially not when they look like you,” he murmurs, looking him over.

Tony smiles a little, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s shoulders. “That right, hmm?” he murmurs.

“What, do you want me to prove it?” he asks and Tony grins, pressing himself in close.

“Well, couldn’t hurt.”