when the party's over (i'll call you)

Loki opened his eyes, and closed them again.

Everything was way too bright. He blinked a few times, and tried to sit up, but fell back down as sharp pain shot trough his head.

He opened his eyes, this time keeping them open, to look at his soroundings. He certainly wasn't in his room. Something warm and comforting brushed against his skin. He looked down to see a white blanket over his body.

He looked around, the harsh sunlight stabbing at his eyes. He was in the Stark Tower's living room.

He felt a dull, throbbing ache behind his forehead.

"It's called a hangover."

Loki jumped, and turned to see Tony Stark, holding a glass of something in his hand.

"You drank like 76 shots, so.." He gestured for Loki to take the drink.

Loki made a disgusted face. "What is that?"

"My old man's cure. I have no idea if it works, never tried it, but it sure is disgusting. And that's the best you're going to get from me. Drink up!"

Loki shot him a glare. "I'd rather not, but thank you."

Loki heard the elevator ding and he covered his ears and shut his eyes at the sudden noise.

"Oh, Jake, you're here!" Stark exclaimed and Loki slowly opened his eyes and lowered his hands.

There was a brown haired young adult walking towards them.

"Yeah it went well! They said that you should—" The boy stopped, as he looked at Loki and his eyes widened. "What—"

"Oh, him! Right." Tony dragged Loki up from the couch.

"Don't touch me mortal." Loki muttered, sounding nowhere as intimidating as he intended to.

The ground swayed under his feet and he had to lean on the edge of the sofa to keep himself upright.

"This is Loki." Tony introduced him. "Loki, this is Jake, my intern, you've been sleeping in his room.

The boy nodded politely, then as a sudden wave if realisation visibly washed over him, his mouth fell agape. He looked at Stark. "Mr. Stark, are you telling me that a literal god slept in my bed?"

Well, that certianly wasn't the reaction Loki had expected. He smirked, amused as Tony rolled his eyes.

"That brings me to another thing, Loki, your room's finished."

...

"Clint, I think you're overreacting." Natasha said, playing with the straw in her iced coffee. "Tony and Loki had a few drinks together, they're not plotting some evil plan."

Clint dropped down on the seat next to her. "I hate when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Twist my words and make me look stupid. Listen" Clint looked her in the eye "I'm just saying, that Loki is controlling Tony—"

Natasha cut him off. "He doesn't have his magic."

Clint hit the table with his fist. "I know. I mean, he-he made Tony believe he's a good guy or something. You know how good he is in lying and manipulation! Have you seen the room he made for him? He spent a crap ton of time on it and for who? A supervillain. He must have, he—"

Natasha put a hand on Clint's shoulder. "Clint. I think you should get some rest."

Clint looked at him, with a hurt expression on his face. "You don't get it."

The taste of bitter coffee in her mouth was much like his expression.

"I do" Natasha said softly. "And I know you don't want to admit it, but it's clear that you aren't over the whole mind control thing."

Clint clenched his jaw. "But I am, Nat! Loki is still a bad person, and should be locked up in a cage like an animal, he doesn't deserve even a minute of Stark's time! He's evil, and I know he's planning something, another attack on New York or—" Clint shook his head, not wanting to finish his sentence.

Nat bit her lower lip.

"Clint" She looked at him, concern reflecting in her blue eyes. "I hate him for what he did to you. But right now, you sound like a conspiracy theorist. I think the guy's just happy he's not dead."

Clint pursed his lips. "Whatever." He whispered. "You'll see."

Natasha stared at him as he pushed himself up from his seat and turned his back on her.

...

Tony opened the black door with a smile. "Ta-damm!"

He stepped into the room and the god's eyes beside him widened.

Tony smirked. "You like it?"

Loki hesitated for a moment, perplexed by the sight. He licked his lips, as if he wanted to say something, but he nodded instead.

"I was really hoping I would catch your 'emo but with class' style."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "My what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Didn't even know that style existed before I met you."

Loki looked around the room, a small smile on his face. He eyed the paintings on the wall. They were mainly of rainy streets with dark colours, amd although it wasn't Tony's style, even he liked them with the dirty green walls.

The room was bright, because of the big window that gave perfect view of New York city.

Loki's eyes wandered to the large bookshelf.

"Thor told me you liked books so.." Tony explained.

Loki looked at him. "That's true, I suppose."

Tony smiled tightly. "Cool."

An awkward silence settled in between the two of them.

"You shouldn't have done all this." Loki said finally.

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Oh well you shouldn't have done a lot of things and yet here we are—"

Loki cut him off. "I'm trying to say thank you."

Tony's eyes widened in shock. He never thought he would hear those words leave Loki's mouth. Then he tilted his head and offered the god a small but genuine smile. "You're welcome."

...

Jake walked down the hall with a satisfied smile on his face. Experimenting and helping Dr. Banner was one of his favourite things about his internship.

But he really just wanted to sleep now.

He opened the door to his room. There was a figure, dressed in black, staring out his window and Jake jumped.

The person turned around, and he sighed in relief. "Oh, it's just you."

"My apologies for frightening you." Liki said, glancing at the books in his arms. "I just left some of my belongings here."

Jake smiled. "It's okay. Oh, don't leave this here!" Jake picked up the book that was laying on the ground. It was an interesting one, Loki's brother, Thor was in it.

Loki looked at the book, then as he saw its title, he swallowed. "That isn't mine."

Jake tilted his head. "Well I know, but you seemed to be reading it, and if you aren't finished then you can borrow it! Actually, you can borrow any of my books if you want."

He smiled and Loki hesitantly took the book from his hands. "Thank you.." Loki paused.

"It's Jake."

He laughed. He wasn't exactly surprised that Loki didn't remember his name, considering the state he was in just that morning, he was surprised he could even stand.

"I'm Loki."

"I know. Dude, you were on the news few weeks ago."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Loki's expression isntantly dropped.

"No, I mean, I didn't mean it like that." Jake corrected himself quickly. "Well I mean that was an asshole thing to do — God, I'm just making things worse — but everyone here has done messed up stuff. If I would judge people before I met them I definitely wouldn't be working here." Hake laughed awkwardly.

Loki actually pulled a half smile. "You really should sonetimes."

Jake shrugged. "Maybe."

...

"Hi." 

Loki shot his head up at the unexpected voice coming from behind him. 

"That's two times you've snuck up on me, Agent Romanoff."

He closed his book and turned around to see Natasha Romanoff, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

Natasha offered him a cold smile. "It's really not that hard."

Loki bit the inside of his cheek.

"Anyway" Natasha said "we're watching a movie."

Loki raised his eyebrows. "And?"

"Thought you might want to join us." Natasha shrugged, her face blank.

He scoffed and shot her a rather condescending look. Just three weeks ago, the same woman was standing in front of him, and although they were separated by a layer of unbreakable glass, she was shaking with pure horror written on her face. Trembling as he worded how he had planned to kill her, and flinched at every mention of Barton's name.

He wished he could say that three weeks ago he was a very different man too, but looking in the mirror, he saw no difference.

He looked at his reflection every morning, and saw the same sinner, disguised as a saint, his black hair and fair skin making his red eyes brim with tears of desperation and hatred.

Hate towards the person he became and the monster he always was.

He looked into Natasha's blue eyes once again, realising how long there's been a silence between them.

"How come?"

Natasha chuckled silently to herself. "The kid wants you there — God knows why."

Loki narrowed his eyes "'The kid'?"

"Jake."

...

Loki stepped into the living room and looked around. The Avengers were all laughing, sitting on the sofa, making jokes that Loki wouldn't understand.

The heat coming from the modern fireplace was making him feel colder with every sharp breath he took. He looked down as Tony doubled over in laughter.

He suddenly felt really nostalgic, and not the kind of nostalgic that made you feel like you were in your golden days for a split second again, the smell of spring and happiness in the air, no.

It was the kind of nostalgic feeling that made you feel the same utter loss and loneliness as the time you watched your brother laugh with his friends, poke fun at you, as their eyes brim with tears from laughter, and you just stand there defeated, and you feel like your knees are giving up and you might as well fall down because you can't breath from the lump in your throat anyway.

He felt his throat close the same way, and a deep, bitter ache in his heart.

He hesitated, biting his lips. He really felt like an outsider in that moment, like he was a burden, and he was a burden and now he's here, in the middle of a personal moment of theirs. Noone wanted him there. He should have gotten used to that, because noone ever wanted Loki.

(( Odin's hands tightened on his gold scepter.

"But, Father! It was all my idea, Loki had nothing to do with this, I swear—"

"Enough!" The king's loud words echoed through the chamber and Loki flinched. "You may go" Odin looked down at his first born. Thor glanced at Loki, who nodded, as a wordless sign of forgiveness.

He wanted to say 'please, don't go, don't leave me here with him', but that was weakness and no son of Odin could show weakness.

Odin's eyes shone with disappointment and he shook his head slightly, as Thor closed the door behind himself.

"Father, they told me that—"

Odin raised his hand. "Always shifting the blame, always twisting words, Loki."

"I swear I would never hurt someone on purpose, I thought that—"

"Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not lying" Loki felt his eyes well up with tears.

Odin sighed and the next thing Loki felt was pure agony.

The next day, when he walked to breakfast with dark, sunken eyes, limping, he saw Thor's friends laughing behind his back.

He met Thor's worried eyes for a short moment, but a second later his brother joined the Warriors Three and Sif's laughter.

Loki tossed his food aside, his heart wrenching.)))

"Loki?"

Loki's head shot up and he suddenly became painfully aware of his surroundings.

Jake and everyone else was staring at him. "You okay?"

Loki couldn't bring himself to answer aloud so he just nodded. He silently walked over to the couch and sat down next to Jake.

"So, what are we watching?" Natasha asked, taking a seat beside Clint on the couch.

Tony smiled and held up a DVD with the words 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' written on them. "We're catching up Steve on the last 60 years of pop culture."

"I love that movie!" Jake exclaimed. "It's iconic."

"You're not allowed to love it" Tony raised his hand jokingly. "You weren't even born when it came out."

"It's not my fault that I'm not 60 like you." Jake answered, trying to hide a smile.

"Hey, I'm not the old man in here, it's Rogers." Tony protested.

"You know" Natasha took a sip of her drink as Steve shook his head. "Steve isn't the oldest one here now."

Tony tilted his head, then his mouth fell open dramatically with realisation. "This is an end of an era. Loki, you're the the resident old man in the tower now. Steve, hand in your badge."

"I don't have a badge!"

Jake laughed, then looked at Loki. "How old are you anyway?"

Suddenly all eyes focused on him, and Loki swallowed thickly. "Uh, I don't know, about 1131." He shrugged, looking down at his hands.

"Huh, Mr Stark, that's about your age too, right?" Jake asked, and Tony placed a hand on his heart with a fake hurt expression.

"Ouch" he turned to Loki. "What does that mean, in human years?"

"These are human years" Loki deadpanned. "It doesn't work like that. But I have lived down as much of my lifespan as about a human 19 year old."

"Huh." Tony took a sip out if his drink. "You don't look 19."

Loki clenched his hands in annoyance. "I am not 19!"

"But your body progresses the same way a human's does, just slower. So your body is 19 year old's, right?" Jake asked, raising his eyebrows at him.

Loki hummed. He hadn't thought about it like that. "I guess that's true."

"You still don't look 19."

Loki didn't know how to answer to that. He used to. He remembered, he did, not even 4 years ago. He felt like a teenager too, playing, hunting, laughing with his brother, and he had a supporting mother by his side.

The lack of their presence sometimes scared Loki, still.

Loki didn't know when it happened. At what point did he snap, when did his face crumble in desperation, when did his eyes flash with pure anger, and stayed that way? Was it when he discovered who — what he was? Was it when he let go? Was it when Thanos looked him in the eyes and said that noone is unbreakable? Was it when he said yes?

Maybe he'll never know.

Loki decided not to voice his thoughts and smirked. "You do look 50."

"Hey! Only Jake is allowed to say that." Tony said.

Steve laughed and smiled at Tony smugly. "See, Tony? That's how it feels."

Loki for the first time in years laughed out loud genuinely.

"Okay fine, just.. play the movie."

He didn't feel Clint Barton's eyes on the back of his head.

...

Clint was aware how ridiculous he looked. He didn't care though, no one would see him anyway.

It really was uncomfortable, being squished up in the vents. But he was doing it for a good reason! There was something going on with Loki, he was hiding something, he was sure.

He somehow manipulated Tony into drinking with him, and now on movie night he laughed with the rest of the team, like he was part of it. The worst of all, they laughed with him.

Natasha would say that he's crazy, but this was not a witch hunt. Loki was up to something, he knew

This was not about the mind control thing, Nat, get out of my head! It wasn't, he was over it, just like he was over how he shot that agent, and that his arrow went right through his heart and he couldn't even have last words, he couldn't say goodbye to his family, because he killed him, and so many other people with—

Anyway. This wasn't about him, this was about Loki.

Who was..

Reading a book?

Clint looked at the cover of the book the god was reading.

A book..

About astronomy?

An evil book?

Evil Astronomy?

Why would Loki be intrested in something like that, something so human as sciences? Didn't he loathe all other planets anyway? Why would he learn about them? Didn't he think that they were made for slavery?

Maybe that was his plan! He wanted to invade other planets.

He has to report this to the Avengers, tha captain would believe him—

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud cough. And another.

Clint looked down and saw Loki, putting a hand on his throath, and wheezing out a breath before another coughing fit, standing up, then collapsing instantly.

Clint held his breath, not knowing what to do. Loki might suffocate and he could do nothing about it.

Then all of a sudden the coughing stopped. 

Clint looked down again, Loki was still on his knees, staring at the red liquid all over his hand.

Blood?

...