Bedtime stories
The visits to the cabin became routine. Every Friday afternoon, the same day he would spend working in the lab with Tony before, Peter would get in a car with Happy and together they would make the short drive to Tony’s family, to their family. He sat in the front now, partly because there was no one to keep him company if he sat in the back and partly because it just felt right. Happy had been spending a lot of time in his apartment, hanging out with May while he patrolled and staying for dinner when he came back, exhausted and sometimes hurt.
Happy would nag him when he came back late or with bruises. He would stand in front of him with heavy shoulders and sad eyes and would tell him to be careful, Pete. Peter would ensure him that he was being careful and Happy would start ranting about how he should not be putting himself in danger in the first place and how if something was too much for him, he should know when to quit.
Overtime Peter learned to accept this, to answer with a short okay, sorry . But the first few times this had happened, and even after all this time if it happened after a hard mission that had Peter wishing he could just call Iron Man for help to realize quickly that he couldn't, Peter would look at Happy and would only see a person trying to step into shoes that didn't belong to him. That were sometimes too big. And Peter would get upset, would get tears in his eyes and would start yelling. “ Stop it, Happy. I messed up, okay? I know-” the tears would fall uncontrollably as Peter gave a similar speech every time “- I don't need you to look after me. I can look after myself”. And Happy would approach him with sad eyes and would try to hug him and Peter would try to fight it, would struggle against his hold whispering “ You are not him, not- not Tony” Happy would sigh, hug him tighter “I know kid. But I'm here, whether you want me to or not”. Peter would stop fighting and would hug him back.
Needless to say, the Happy-and-Peter dynamic had changed. And it never showed more than when the both of them were stuck in a car together, for a couple of hours, every Friday afternoon. They would talk about school and the Decathlon team. They would talk about aunt May and her horrible cooking. Peter had seen Happy blush every time he mentioned her so he thought he might share something similar with him and told him about MJ. He had never told anyone what he felt about her before. And maybe that was okay, something for Happy and Peter to share. Happy would play the radio, he liked listening to the news and Peter would groan and put on his own playlist. One that he knew they would both enjoy for entirely different reasons; Black Sabbath, Aerosmith and even Kiss would start playing and they would both smile, both sat in silence listening, hoping that if they tried hard enough they would hear that familiar voice singing along off-key. They never did.
And they would talk about Morgan. Morgan and Pepper. Morgan and school. Morgan and how she was like Tony, Morgan and how she wasn't. They would talk about what she liked, what she knew, how smart she was. And their eyes would swell with pride. And they would park in front of the lake house and a girl, tall for a 7 year old would come running out.
“¡Uncle Happy! ¡Peter! Mommy is making lasagna” She screamed excitedly and hugged both of them tightly.
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Dinner had been anything but quiet. With Morgan asking Peter questions about Spiderman and school and Pepper inquiring about college and his ideas for the future, he had barely gotten to eat a bite before Pepper and Happy were picking up the plates and Morgan was pulling Peter to her room to show him her new toys.
They sat on the floor of her room for a while, playing with legos, building towers and castles. Morgan was focused on making a replica of her house, Peter was supposed to be making the small dog house she used to play in but he was too focused on her. He watched her build and saw Tony. He saw him in the way her brows furrowed when something didn't feel right, in the way she had no problem starting all over again if she saw that it wasn’t working out, and suddenly for a minute he heard him speak to him. “Pete? Hellooo-” She waved a hand in front of his eyes, “-are you there?” She asked quietly, placing her small hand on his cheek. And he just wanted to cry.
It had been two years since the world had lost Tony. And yet sometimes Peter saw someone make a certain gesture, or smelled something that reminded him of the lab or even said something that sounded so much like something Tony would say and he just felt the knot in his throat again.
He looked right into Morgan’s eyes and saw Tony looking back at him. With worry and compassion and a hint of understanding. But it wasn't Tony, it was Morgan. So he swallowed back his tears, put on a smile and said “Yeah sorry, just tired I guess. It’s been a long day”. Morgan nodded slowly, and yawned in a way that was so obviously fake that Peter had to stifle a laugh. “I’m tired too-” She started getting up “-maybe we should go to bed”.
Morgan didn't wait for him to answer, she was already wearing her Captain Marvel pajamas so she just jumped straight into bed. “Bye, Mor” Peter got closer to her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning”.
He was about to turn off the light and leave when suddenly “WAIT!” Peter stopped startled and looked at her “Would you tell me a bedtime story?” Peter slowly approached the bookcase by her window. “Um.. sure-” He started browsing the titles “-which one?” “I don't want one from the bookcase, silly” She giggled “You tell me one”
He sat next to her in bed. “Okay, well...” Peter started thinking and nothing came to mind. But then he saw the picture she had of her as a baby, Tony holding her in his arms with a watery smile and he knew what to tell her. “How about the story of how your daddy saved New York?” He asked with excitement, Morgan nodded but then, “I thought you said he saved the universe”. Peter chuckled, “Yeah, he did that too. But first, New York City” And on he went, talking about aliens and Captain America and the Hulk and Tony flying a weapon through a hole in the sky and people cheering for him because he was a hero.
He finished the story quietly, a few minutes later. Morgan had fallen asleep sometime between the avengers capturing Loki and them going to eat shawarma. He got up slowly and left the room.
He closed the door trying very hard not to make a noise and headed to the kitchen for something to drink. He was met with Pepper in her own pajamas drinking tea. As she saw him approach she started getting up, probably to head to Morgan’s room to tell her it was time to go to bed. “ She is asleep” Peter told her, and he didn't miss the surprise that appeared in Pepper’s eyes.
“Is she?” She started and with a sigh “Thank god”. That sparked his curiosity, he opened the fridge and got himself some milk as he asked “Does she not sleep well? Or what’s the problem?”. Pepper looked to the direction of Morgan’s room, maybe to make sure she wasn't listening. “She has been trouble going to bed since Tony- Well, since he died”. They didn't use the d-word, ever. Peter knew therapists would say that recognizing the fact for what it was, especially in front of Morgan would make it more natural and would help them move on. But Peter just couldn't do it, apparently Pepper continued to be stronger than all of them combined. “- Bedtime used to be their thing, you know? He would tuck her in and tell her stories. About Captain America and Thor, about War Machine, about you-” “-me?” “ Oh yeah, Spiderman was a big bedtime favorite, Peter Parked was even more popular” She smiled at him and continued “Since Tony died she hates bedtime, her therapist thinks that Morgan feels like she is betraying her father’s memory by sharing that moment with someone else. Someone.. someone who does not belong in that”. “ Oh, I- I’m sorry” Peter suddenly felt out of place. “Sorry for what, honey?” “She um- She asked me to tell her a story. And I told her about the avengers and about Tony. About New York” He added quickly. “And she fell asleep, I didn't want to impose”. He looked down at his shoes, a bad habit that showed up when he was embarrassed or scared of other people’s reactions to him. A habit Tony had been trying and succeeding to kill since they met. Pepper approached him quietly and placed her hands on his shoulders.
“Well-” Pepper started “- Tony did always use to say that Morgan would only share her story time with her big brother” Peter looked up at her with shock on his face. “Amazing how he is always right, huh?”
“Yeah..” Peter smiled to himself, heart pounding and he felt that soft voice that he had gotten used to looking for the past two years. You are doing great, Pete. Just great.