Who Needs Em?
Natasha,
The book is called Pay No Attention to the Men Behind the Iron Curtain. It’s a bit melodramatic for my tastes, but still quite good. My sister Hela suggested it. She’s away at university. She’s a bit of a dick, which is why she’s kind of my hero. Don’t know what that says about me. Something bad, probably.
I can’t believe Thor told Bruce about Sig’s tardigrade shirt. Sometimes, Sig stops at our house for breakfast on her way to school, and she was wearing this shirt I got her with a tardigrade on it. I don’t even remember where I got it, to be honest. But Sig likes really ugly animals, so if I see an object with one on it I end up giving it to her.
I started doing that when we were kids, but back then I brought her actual ugly animals. By the time I met Sig, I already had a reputation for trying to gross out the other kids by bringing them different things. Thor tells a great story about a snake. It was his own damn fault. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands” is the universally accepted code for “I’m about to prank you.”
I handed Sig a frog shortly after I met her. I believe her exact words were “it’s so ugly I love it so much.” She was the only person besides my own family who ever really made an effort with me. Once, at the end of a particularly nasty week a few years ago, I asked her why she was friends with me. She said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, “you gave me a frog.”
I would apologize for such a ridiculous frog story, but you did ask about her. What’s Clint like? I think Ty’s his pen pal, but Ty and I don’t get on. We don’t not get on, but he’s Sig’s cousin and he’s not always been fond of me.
- Loki
Natasha frowned. She knew what it felt like to feel like no one made an effort with you. She knew that Loki felt like they didn’t deserve Sig, and she understood that feeling. She felt that way about Bucky and Becca, and Clint.
“What’s wrong?” asked Bruce.
“If Loki doesn’t start feeling good about themself, I’m going to fly there and beat them up.”
“I’ll ask Thor to get in a few rounds before you get there,” laughed Bruce.
It was nice to hear Bruce laugh. He was remarkably somber. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was just something Natasha happened to notice.
“Speaking of whom, Loki mentioned something Thor might’ve told you about a snake?” asked Natasha.
“Yeah,” said Bruce, “he and Loki were 8. Loki pointed to a snake, because he knows Thor loves snakes, and when Thor went to pick up the snake to admire it, Loki ran up behind him and jumped on his back and shouted “MBLEURGH IT’S ME” and then stabbed him with a pencil.”
Natasha blinked twice, then snorted.
“Snakes and stabbings aside,” said Bruce, “I can tell that Thor really admires Loki. He thinks the world of them.”
Bruce blushed as he adjusted his glasses.
“He’s...really open and kind and trusting. He really cherishes the people in his life, he just expresses it poorly sometimes.”
Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bruce.
“Bruce Banner. Have you got a crush on your pen pal?”
“What? Of course not. Nope. No. Shut up.”
Natasha’s eyes widened and she smiled wider than she ever had in her entire life. That day at lunch, she whispered what Bruce had told her to Clint.
“Seriously?” asked Clint.
“You can say you think it’s cute, I won’t hold it against you,” said Natasha.
“I will do no such thing,” chuckled Clint.
#
Over the years, Natasha had grown accustomed to her brother leaning in the doorjamb outside her bedroom because he thought it made him seem cool. Never mind the fact that the “Bucky Barnes is a Big Nerd” train left the station ages ago. Natasha walked over the doorway and leant on the opposite side to mirror Bucky.
“Little sister,” said Bucky.
“We’re the same age,” said Natasha.
Natasha walked back into her room and sat down on her bed. Bucky sat down next to her, twiddling his thumbs.
“What’s going on?” asked Natasha.
“It’s Clint. His parents were in a car crash, and-”
“Is he here?”
Natasha felt her voice drop an octave, completely of its own accord.
“No. Mom and Dad went to his house as soon as they heard, but he wasn’t there. Is there anywhere he would go?”
Natasha stood up and rushed out of her room, dragging Bucky behind her. She let go of his arm and the two of them broke into a run. Natasha and Bucky ran to a park a few blocks away from their house. Natasha stopped in front of a tree. Bucky paused beside her, looking confused.
“Gimme a boost up,” said Natasha.
Bucky nodded and linked his hands together. He lifted Natasha higher up the tree’s trunk, and she clamored into its branches. She climbed higher until she found him. Clint was sitting high in the tree, hidden from view in a grey hoodie that he and Natasha had traded back and forth since 8th grade.
“Hey,” said Clint.
He smiled when he saw her, but his eyes were red and puffy.
“Hey,” said Natasha, “you’re coming with me and Bucky, okay?”
It was only sort of a question.
“Natasha, I can’t-”
“Clint. Come home with us. Don’t make me say please.”
“I don’t want to be a bother, Tasha.”
Natasha knew that voice, the voice of a child raised to believe that he was an
inconvenience. Natasha had been raised that way too, and that was part of what had drawn her to Clint when they were children. But that was six years ago and in that moment she just needed him to be okay. She knew that he wouldn’t believe how much she needed him to be okay if she let her façades fall for a moment.
“Please?” asked Natasha.
She knew her voice cracked as she spoke that single word and she was fresh out of fucks to give about it. Clint needed her, and a few moments of vulnerability were not going to kill her, especially not with him. She reached out to him, placing her hand on his shoulder.
“Come on, Clint. You’re not a bother or a burden. You’re my best friend, and I need you.”
Clint smiled.
“To get out of this fucking tree.”
“Right,” chuckled Clint.
He leapt out of the tree with a surprising amount of grace and landed on his feet.
“What the fuck, Clint?” cried Bucky.
Bucky’s outburst was justified, as Clint had just dropped ten feet without getting hurt. The boy was like a damn cat sometimes. Natasha slowly and methodically climbed down to the spot that Bucky had lifted her up to because she wasn’t fucking crazy.
“A little help, fellas?” asked Natasha.
Clint and Bucky each offered an arm to her. She slid down the tree trunk, using the support to ease her landing. By the time the three of them got back to the house, Steve and Becca were waiting in the living room. Becca looked like she was about to scold them, but saw Clint and thought better of it. Steve just looked worried.
“We found Clint,” said Bucky.
“I found Clint,” corrected Natasha.
“And neither of you texted me? Becca called because she the two of you burst through the door like a bat out of hell. Clint, are you alright?”
Clint scratched his elbow awkwardly and nodded. Steve turned to Bucky.
“You’ll get me up to speed?” he asked.
Bucky nodded.
“Come on. Your parents are in the kitchen.”
Steve and Bucky walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Becca hurried up the stairs, calling to Natasha and Clint as she went.
“I’m gonna get some blankets for Clint from upstairs!”
Natasha smiled a little, and looked over at Clint. His face looked blank and vacant. She took hold of his shoulders and lead him over to the couch, slowly sitting him down. She put her hand on his chest, latching onto his heartbeat.
“Can you feel that, Clint?”
He nodded.
“You’re here, Clint. I’m here too, okay?”
“Okay.”
Clint blinked a few times, and he turned his head to face her.
“Tasha,” he said.
He hugged her, and Natasha felt herself crumple in his arms, just a little bit.
“Thank you.”
“Of course, Clint.”
#
Dear Pepper,
I like high fantasy. I also end up reading whatever Loki’s reading. At the moment, it’s a book about Cold War espionage. I don’t remember what it’s called, but I think it’s got a silly name. Right now I’m reading Howl’s Moving Castle. It was one of my favorites as a kid, so I try to reread it periodically.
You should try to befriend Steve. From what Bryn’s told me, he’s really nice, despite all the fistfights. He kind of reminds me of my cousin, Ty. Loki thinks that Ty doesn’t like them all that much, but he’s really just protective of me.
When I was 10, my dad left. I don’t talk about it that much. After he left, Ty and Loki were the only ones who were really there for me. My mom is a good person, but I never expected her to be the same after that. Ty threatened to track down my dad and fight him, which is Ty’s version of sympathy. Loki kept me...me, that first year. I think Ty feels bad that he couldn’t do that for me, and he’s never really understood why Loki was able to.
I don’t talk about my family. Ty and I are related through my dad. I think Ty feels bad about that too. For a while, I couldn’t tell if people were being nice to me because they liked me or because of what happened. Loki understood that they didn’t have to choose, that they could care about me and be my friend because of me, but still comfort me.
I really didn’t mean to dump all that nonsense about my father on you, but like I said, I don’t talk about it, so it’s bound to escape somewhere. What’s Steve’s boyfriend like? He’s Ridley’s pen pal, she says his name is Bucky.
- Sig
Pepper set out to befriend Steve the next day but found Natasha looking bewildered. She assumed it had something to do with Clint, and the accident. An opportunity had arisen to kill two birds with one stone. Sig had asked about the one person who knew Natasha best, besides Clint.
“Bucky,” said Pepper.
Bucky turned to face her, although he didn’t speak. Unless the person was Natasha or Steve, talking to people wasn’t really his bag.
“Is Natasha okay? She seems off this morning, and I heard about Clint’s parents, but-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” said Bucky, “Clint stayed at our house last night. Natasha’s got nerves of steel, but she’s still shaken up. Remember freshman year? How Steve and I would act?”
Pepper remembered. Everyone remembered. Those dark days, before Steve and Bucky started dating. You could smell the tension before you even entered the building. Bucky spent more time at the library than he did at his house. Steve picked a fight with a large dog. It was a time before reason.
“Yikes,” said Pepper, “but don’t you think Natasha is quite a bit, no offense, cooler than you guys?”
Bucky chuckled.
“No doubt about it,” said Bucky, “but he’s her soft spot. Always has been. I’m not saying they can’t take care of themselves, but they’ve gotta address the elephant in the room.”
Pepper smiled. Bucky was a big brother, above all else, even if Clint and Natasha were the same age as him.
“When did you and Tasha get so close anyway?” asked Bucky.
“Our pen pals are best friends. And Sig asks about other people in our class, tries to get to know them as well as she knows me. I think she’s trying to get me to be more forward, she might not even know she’s doing it. She probably does though, she’s really smart.”
“So, you’ve befriended Natasha,” said Bucky, “who’s next?”
“Um...I guess you are? Sig and Ridley are friends, and I mentioned that I wanted to talk to Steve but found him immensely intimidating.”
“Well, I’d say one good turn deserves another, Miss Potts. Follow me.”
Pepper nodded and followed Bucky. She was too busy trying to figure out what “good turn” she could have possibly given Bucky to notice where they were going. They stopped by Steve’s locker, where he was talking with Bucky’s sister Becca as well as Sam Wilson, both of whom were sophomores.
“Hey Buck,” said Steve, sickly sweet smile on his face.
“Hey Steve,” said Bucky, “remember Pepper? She’s scared of you.”
Pepper elbowed Bucky in the gut. He reeled from the strike, but Pepper knew it was all for show.
“Am not! I said he was intimidating, and you’ve already taken that out of context!”
“But...I’m not intimidating,” said Steve.
Becca let out an exasperated sigh as Sam started laughing hysterically.
“You’re like Tony,” said Pepper, “people forget that he’s smart because he’s a drama queen. People forget that you’re tough because you spend your free time painting and listening to Bucky rant about biodiversity in fictional universes.”
“I don’t get the math, I just think it’s cute when he gets fired up,” said Steve.
Bucky blushed and put his hands in his pockets. Becca and Sam both rolled their eyes and grunted, so in sync that Pepper was sure they had met up and practiced the reaction.
“What? Natasha’s not here, I can flirt with my boyfriend. See you later, Pepper.”
Steve walked off, dragging a wordlessly floundering Bucky Barnes behind him.