In Which Sig Gains Sympathy for the Koala
Loki,
Things are crazy here. Like completely insane. Like freshman-year-Steve-and-Bucky insane. My best friend’s parents are straight up dying and I don’t know what to do. I want to help Clint, but reasonable humans have pretty much agreed that while there’s no right time to tell your best friend that you’re in love with him, “while his parents are comatose and not long for this world” is definitely the WRONG time.
I honestly didn’t mean to talk to you about any of this. This isn’t the kind of stuff that I talk about, not even to my siblings. But even though you’re a total weirdo who is kind of out of touch with reality and their own emotions, I get the feeling that you’ve got my back on this.
And yeah, I’m talking about Sig and how it’s totally obvious that you’re high key in love with her. And you guys have been friends for much longer than Clint and I have, so I don’t know how in the hell you’re not criminally insane, because if I was as bottled up as you for as long as you, I would’ve killed my entire family by now.
So I ranted a little bit, sue me. I’m losing my mind over here. Clint’s always been frustrating for me, but I don’t talk about it. My brother managed to figure me out anyway. Who knows if customs will even accept a shipment of such emotional garbage. Thanks for listening, I guess. God, letter writing is weird.
- Natasha
Loki was concerned. God, they couldn’t remember the last time they’d been concerned. That was a lie, they remembered exactly when. They’d been ten, and Sig’s dad had left, and Loki had been there for her. Just like always.
Loki thought about texting Sig to ask for advice about how to help their friend, but what Natasha had said to them was beginning to take root. Loki didn’t view themself as bottled up, but how would they know? Besides, Natasha had a point. If she hadn’t kept her feelings for Clint a secret, maybe she’d know how to be there for him.
Loki had always known how to be there for Sig, but what if something happened? What if something shocked her? And if Loki wasn’t kidding themself, and Sig really was their whole world, then they couldn’t keep secrets from her.
Not anymore.
#
Dear Sig,
I don’t know if you’ve been told, but Clint’s parents were hurt in an accident and nobody knows if they’re going to be okay. Clint is a mess. Natasha’s been better. I could use some mundanity, so I’m going to talk about what little mundanity we’ve got at the moment.
You asked about Steve’s boyfriend. Bucky Barnes is a sweet science nerd trapped in a stone killer’s body. He’s also Natasha’s adoptive brother. He’s got another sister named Becca. He and Steve would be that one couple that everyone hates, if we didn’t remember how awful we had it before they were together. Whatever you’re picturing, it was worse than that. And with visits to the ER. I’m serious.
You were right about Steve. He’s really easy to talk to, even when he really gets going. I even showed him some of the comics I’ve been working on. That’s a deep dark secret of mine, not even Rhodey knows. I love comic books, and I draw comic strips. Tony found my stash once in grade school and I swore him to secrecy.
I think he was a little jealous. Even back then, I had quite the collection.
- Pepper
Sig was glad that Pepper was branching out and being more open. It was half the reason she’d asked about Bucky to begin with. That, and the fact that Ridley only told weird stories about him, and they all had to do with Coney Island in some manner.
Sig jumped when her phone rang. She was confused when she saw that it was Loki. Loki almost never called, talking on the phone had stressed them out ever since the two of them were kids.
“Hey Loki,” said Sig.
“Hey,” said Loki, sounding out of breath, “are you home right now?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing. I’m just...I’m on my way over, I need to talk to you.”
“Um...okay. I’ll see you in a minute.”
“Okay. Bye.
“Bye.”
Sig had never been more confused in her entire life. It only took Loki about a minute and a half to get to her house after that. They texted her, instead of knocking like a human being, because it was Loki.
danger noodle (now)
in your backyard. ran here. possibly dying.
Sig sprinted out of the house and into her backyard. Loki was sitting on top of the picnic table, hands clasped, looking cool as a cucumber. That was as sure a sign as any that they were scared shitless.
“Hey,” said Loki, any trace of their run there completely gone.
“Hey,” said Sig.
She walked over to the picnic table and sat down next to Loki. They were both silent for a few moments.
“I know I said I needed to talk to you, but now that I’m here, I fear I may have overestimated myself.”
“Do you...not have the right words?” asked Sig.
“Too many words,” said Loki.
“Is there something you can show me?”
Loki went red as a tomato, and Sig didn’t let herself hope that she knew what Loki was driving at. After all, Loki was a prankster who loved riddles. They were never at a loss for words.
“I have something I can give you,” said Loki.
Sig nodded. She closed her eyes, held out her hands, and for once in her life, hoped it wasn’t a frog. The familiar plop of an object being unceremoniously dropped in her hands did not come.
Sig’s mind was, more often than that, a veritable cornucopia of useless facts that no one else bothered to remember, especially involving animals. She remembered, in that moment, for no reason whatsoever, that the koala has both a smooth brain and a disastrous brain to body mass ratio, rendering it one of the dumbest fucks in the animal kingdom.
Sig sat on that picnic bench and waited for Loki to place something in her hands, but it didn’t happen. Instead, Loki kissed her, and Sig’s brain slowed to a complete stop. Her hands sat limply in her lap as she leaned into Loki.
Loki pressed their forehead against Sig’s as they pulled away. Sig opened her eyes. She waited for Loki to say something, and Loki waited for her to say something. It was the single most intense game of conversational chicken Sig had ever played. One Sig was sure she would lose.
“I love you,” said Sig.
And Sig would’ve felt bad for the koala, dunce of the outback, if she hadn’t been focused on earnestly wanting a sinkhole to open up and swallow her whole. Sig could feel herself start to shrink. She shrank away from Loki, crossing her arms and shrugging her shoulders.
Sig hung her head, and she felt stupid for feeling stupid. She had never once been ashamed of herself for liking Loki, because she didn’t want to be that person, but she also didn’t want to be the person who would throw everything else to the wind for someone else.
Loki put their arm around Sig and tugged her closer. She lifted her head, slowly, and turned to look at Loki, even slower. They were smiling softly, an expression she had never seen them wear before.
“Don’t go recoiling on my account,” said Loki.
Sig relaxed against Loki’s arm, but just a little bit.
“I love you, Signey.”
Sig positively melted. She burrowed into Loki’s jacket and nuzzled their chest. Loki drew circles on her back with their palm. When she looked up at them, they were smiling at her. They sat there like that for a while. It wasn’t an awkward silence, just an acknowledgement that they could enjoy the embrace without words.
“Did you hear about Clint’s parents?” asked Loki.
“Yeah,” said Sig, “how’s Natasha?”
“She’s a mess. Clint’s staying at her place, which is rough, given that she’s high-key in love with him.”
Sig snorted.
“That doesn’t sound like something you’d say,” she continued.
“Nope,” said Loki, “it’s something Natasha said about me.”
“Are you high-key in love with me?” asked Sig.
“Nah. Everything I do is low-key.”
Sig snorted again, and shoved Loki away. They almost fell off the picnic table.