Valkyrie had let them sleep in the living room while they prepared to leave Sacar tomorrow. They were all just super tired and needed a break. They had shoved Loki in a cupboard, Thor was sleeping on the floor with a pillow and Bruce had taken the sofa. Thor was snoring softly but Bruce couldn’t nod off. As tired as he was he had too many thoughts swirling in his head and the room was too quiet. On Earth he had always slept with some form of white noise because silence leaves room for his thoughts, and they were not a good place to be.
He shivered as he remembered that the wasn’t on Earth and hadn’t been for years. He had been inside the Hulk for years, hurting people. Thor had quickly informed him of what had happened, how the Grand Master had found him and made him fight in the coliseum. That he was a celebrity here for hurting people. For killing people. He was so far away from home, and safety. He was a monster.
He let out a little sob and realised that he had tears streaming down his temples as he stared at the ceiling in the dark room. He clamped his hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs, but they wouldn’t stop. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be back in his lab, helping people, like a doctor should. But no matter how many people he helped he couldn’t change the truth that deep down he was a monster… a murderer…
“Banner?” Thor’s sleep dazed voice called in the dark room.
“Sorry. Go back to sleep.” He cringed as his voice wobbled, definitely communicating that he was upset. Hopefully Thor would just ignore him. Thor must think that he’s such an idiot. Thor’s just so masculine and strong. His body was perfect… he was a God for God’s sake and Bruce was just tiny. Neither version of him was attractive and he wouldn’t be despised in Thor actively despised him.
Suddenly, Bruce felt a hand grab his shoulder and he flinched violently pulling into the back of the couch.
“I won’t hurt you.” Thor whispered again, he had been saying that to Bruce a lot since he had emerged out of the Hulk.
“Why wouldn’t you?” He sobbed out. He deserved it. He deserved to be hurt. He had hurt so many it was just that someone with a God’s strength should punish him. He had to punish him because it would never work with the Hulk.
“Banner?” Thor questioned, as he leant over and flicked on the lamp to reveal Bruce’s shame and tears, “I would never want to hurt you.” Thor looked into his face as he leant against the sofa and stroked Bruce’s shoulder, making Bruce feel guilty at enjoying the comfort.
“I’m a monster. I deserve it.” He sat up, placing his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. He could feel his shaking breath on his palms. He felt Thor sit behind him and he started rubbing his back, feeling Bruce’s tensed muscles and drawn breaths.
“You’re not a monster. You deserve nothing of the sort.” He sounded taken back, even upset. See… even now Bruce was hurting people.
He whipped round and looked Thor in the face before hissing with spilling over emotion;
“Years Thor. I was him for years. I hurt people. I killed people.” His voice broke as he admitted his crimes aloud, and breath finally gave inevitable truth to an unkind reality. He started to break down again, tears falling faster and harder before. Gentle hands grabbed Bruce’s shoulder and pushed indicating for him to spin around. He followed, too weak, emotionally and physically, to argue against it. Soon his body was facing Thor. Thor took the back of his head and brought his head down to rest against Thor’s shirt clad chest, which was surprisingly soft. A muscly but tender arm circled around him and soon he found himself hugging Thor back crying into his shirt.
After a while, when the harshest sobs had calmed, Thor’s hand disappeared from his back and so did the one on his head. Bruce mourned the loss of contact, but the hands soon found his face. Slowly and considerately Thor guided Bruce’s head away from his chest and raised his face to look into his. With surprising ease Thor wiped away Bruce’s tears.
“Bruce,” causing him to give a shocked blink at the fact that Thor was using his first name, “you have to believe me. You are not a monster. You are a kind and lovely man who would never hurt anyone –“
“But the Hulk.” He interrupted him.
“Is a part of you. But he is not you. It’s the same as Mjolnir being part of me but no one would consider me as dim as a hunk of metal, neither does anyone assume you to be as violent as the Hulk. You are separate. But people also love the Hulk. You, Bruce, are one of the kindest, if not the most kind, Midgardian I know. Please love yourself.”
Bruce was shocked, and throughout the speech his mouth had fallen into a half gape of disbelief. Without any warning, Thor suddenly leant in and placed a peck of a kiss on Bruce’s lips. Thor leant back and gave him his usual innocent smile.
Bruce was too stunned to do anything. He continued to stare with shock widened eyes, and what he assumed was an increasing blush on his cheeks and neck.
“Bruce?” Thor asked, worry permeating his tone. He must have been staring for longer than what is socially acceptable.
“What… Why did you kiss me?” His voice wasn’t angry, it was bewildered.
“You were sad?” Thor replied, in a confused tone as if he were stated the obvious. “And I wanted to.” There was a moment of silence as Bruce sat in shocked silenced, while Thor sat in a confused one. Then a look of realisation washed over Thor’s face; “Oh I forgot. I am sorry.” He smiled a little, “On Asgard it is common to kiss one another, though I once kissed Stark and he told me it isn’t common on Earth, especially between two men…” He paused before musing aloud, “though I think Stark did mention something about you preferring me.”
“Well… I… Yeah I do prefer men. It was just very sudden.” He let out a watery laugh, tears still holding their presence over his emotions and senses, even though he didn’t feel much sadness at the moment, with the dominating confusion mixed with attraction and shame.
“Oh. I’m sorry if I caused offence, please forgive me.”
“No, no no.” He hastened to reassure Thor, “there was no offence. It just shocked me is all. I mean you kissing me.” He let out a chuckle, at the mere notion, that had someone just manifested into reality, unless he was dreaming.
“Why is that a funny idea?” There was a slight frown on Thor’s face, as if he genuinely couldn’t understand the humour behind it.
“I mean,” Bruce let out another self-deprecating laugh, feeling extremely self-conscious to be exposed like this, “look at us. You’re literally a God with a body to match, and your personality is out of this world. And I’m an ageing scientist with greying hair, and an extreme personality disorder.” He let out another little bitter chuckle, angry at his inferiority.
“Bruce… I don’t understand who you’re mocking. Surely you can’t truly think that… I thought you were laughing because you didn’t want to kiss me. You’ve been denying my amorous advances for a very long time now…”
Once again Bruce’s mouth fell open with true, ice-cold shock.
“Amorous advances? Since when!”
“Since when we fought Ultron together…” Thor frowned, “I thought you didn’t want me near you so I ceased my advances, but I thought my interest was clear…”
“No.. well Tony always did say that I’m love-blind. So I don’t know, that’s probably my fault.” He laughed awkwardly and rubbed at the back of his neck.
“Well, to be clear Bruce. I like you. May I kiss you?”
“Yes.” Bruce whispered in a disbelieving breath. And sure as the night sky is dark, Thor leant in and met their lips in a respectful, gentle and slow kiss which also held every moment of repressed passion from years of pining one another. Suddenly, a thought rushed into Bruce’s mind and he pulled back, making Thor’s brow crease with concern.
“Are you sure you want to get involved with all of this?” He asked gesturing to himself. “I mean I’ve got the Hulk…”
“And I love you even then.”
“But I look old, and I’m super pale under here and –“ Thor raised his hands and gently placed his finger tips over Bruce’s kiss swollen lips, silently telling him to be quiet.
“You look like you and that’s why I like you. Now, I would like to continue kissing you if that’s okay?”
And all Bruce could do was nod.