the one where peter gets his phone taken
spidey! @therealspiderman
The demon spider child decided to be a dumbass and get his phone taken away so I thought we'd have some Fun and let all the Avengers hack his Twitter for the next 3 days-T
Hacked by aunt Nat @therealspiderman
It's my turn first! Ask me questions about spidey and I'll answer b/c I love embarrassing my spiderbaby
starkette @avengersownmyuwus
replying to @therealspiderman
WHAT DID HE DO
Hacked by aunt Nat @therealspiderman
oH a multitude of things!
1. Stayed out FIVE HOURS past his curfew b/c he fell asleep on a building
2. So then Tony told him he couldn't patrol the next day
3. BUT GUESS WHAT HE DID ANYWAY!
4. He sneaks out when he *thinks* everyone is asleep
Hacked by aunt Nat @therealspiderman
5. And by the time Friday alerted everybody that he was gone, he managed to-
6. GET SHOT IN THE FOOT.
7. And try to hide it from us and "deal with it himself"
8. To which we found him passed out and bleeding out on his bathroom floor b/c OBVIOUSLY GETTING A BULLET OUT WITHOUT PAIN MEDS DOESN'T WORK
So yeah he's not patrolling anytime soon.
cup o nuudels @joshz42
replying to @therealspiderman
look what i drew
green gorl @hulkoutbabey
replying to @therealspiderman
tell him he's a certified dumbass but we love him anyway
avenge me daddy @yeehaw388
replying to @therealspiderman
he's such a fucking disaster bi with no self-preservation skills and it's a fat mood
bttr @thanSHIELD
replying to @therealspiderman
All I'm hearing is that spidey for sure a teenager and Tony has been given grounding privileges from his parents.
jaelyn:) @xoxojaebaby
replying to @thanSHIELD
Fucking bold of you to assume that Tony ISN'T his parent!
bttr @thanSHIELD
replying to @therealspiderman
sORRY #irondad
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @thanSHIELD
Jesus, not this again- I'm not his dad, I'm just a very good...mentor.
princess shuri @shuriofwakanda
replying to @iamironman
cough cough he definitely sees you as a dad cough cough
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @shuriofwakanda
Wait what
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hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
it's my turn i'm gonna embarrass the shit out of this little punk cause we all thought he was dead for a solid 5 hours and then AGAIN for like 2 hours
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
and i don't want grey hairs yet i'm still the youngest looking and most attractive man on the team
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
My Mind is Old but My Body is The Youngest One Besides The Kid
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
replying to @CaptainAmerica
STOP WHY DO YOU TYPE LIKE THAT
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
Because it Annoys Everyone
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
replying to @CaptainAmerica
demon
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @therealspiderman
I also take offense to this how do you think I was such a playboy if I'm not the most attractive??
Pepper Potts-Stark @SI.CEO
replying to @iamironman
Let's not talk about your playboy days when 1. We're married and 2. Your 4-year-old daughter has Twitter and can see everything you say
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @SI.CEO
Whoops
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
WAIT
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
The kid taught me something that would be perfect to say in this situation
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
But I forget what it was!
>10 minutes later
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
And I oop! I remembered it! It's some new fangled teen internet slang I don't know
starkette @avengersownmyuwus
replying to @CaptainAmerica
IM CRYING OHMYFJDKNDHUIS
bttr @thanSHIELD
replying to @CaptainAmerica
cap really said:
>1.7 mil Retweets
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hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
what do you all think would happen if I tried on the web shooter things
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
cause they look so cool
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
replying to @CaptainAmerica
i'm doing it
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
replying to @CaptainAmerica
OKAY nevermind bad idea! stark you probably want someone to come clean up the training room
hawkeye > rest of the team @therealspiderman
replying to @CaptainAmerica
i'm giving the account to someone else now before i destroy any more million dollar equipment! bye!!
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IronDad @therealspiderman
For the last day of this mess, I'm taking over because I'm the kid's favorite anyway
jaelyn:) @xoxojaebaby
replying to @therealspiderman
how old is he?!?!?!?!??!
IronDad @therealspiderman
He is an age approximately between 0 and dead.
bttr @thanSHIELD
replying to @therealspiderman
is he ever gonna reveal his identity?? like would u let him
IronDad @therealspiderman
replying to @thanSHIELD
Not for a while, but in a few years, sure.
avenge me daddy @yeehaw388
replying to @therealspiderman
....because he's still a minor and you want him to wait until he's an adult???
IronDad @therealspiderman
replying to @yeehaw388
No comment.
avenge me daddy @yeehaw388
replying to @therealspiderman
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IronDad @therealspiderman
Okay, I'm giving him his phone back now so everybody pretend this never happened capiche?
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IronDad @therealspiderman
hi guys! sorry i didnt have my phone for a few days so i wasnt tweeting :// but im here now!
IronDad @therealspiderman
wait why is that my name
IronDad @therealspiderman
WAIT
IronDad @therealspiderman
MR STARK!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @therealspiderman
Hey language
Pepper Potts-Stark @SI.CEO
replying to @therealspiderman
Language.
Steve Rogers @CaptainAmerica
replying to @therealspiderman
Language!!
Nat @blackwidow
replying to @therealspiderman
паучок, ты можешь ругаться рядом со мной
morgoona @babystark
replying to @therealspiderman
fhFWKWdj fuck!!!!!!11!!11
spidey! @therealspiderman
replying to @babystark
omg no morgan no don't say that
You Already Know Me @iamironman
replying to @therealspiderman
Pepper's coming to your room and she's mad good luck kid :)
spidey! @therealspiderman
replying to @iamironman
omgnfjfd im scared
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spidey! @therealspiderman
i'm "not allowed to swear anymore" this is an outrage
Pepper Potts-Stark @SI.CEO
replying to @therealspiderman
Don't teach my toddler swear words and maybe we wouldn't have this problem
spidey! @therealspiderman
replying to @SI.CEO
...touche