Parcours

Marvel Cinematic Universe
Gen
G
Parcours
author
Summary
“We have to live without sympathy, don’t we? That’s impossible, of course. We act it to one another, all this hardness; but we aren’t like that really. I mean … one can’t be out in the cold all the time; one has to come in from the cold.”― John le Carré, The Spy Who Came in from the ColdBucky, if this is really him, is dangerous, not just because he’s got a fucking metal arm that can rip up highways, rip out steering wheels, rip off Sam’s fucking wings, but because Bucky makes Steve blind. And if anyone were to use it to their advantage, then the rest of the world is well and truly fucked.In which reconciliation is attempted, memories are processed, goons are murdered, and we pretend that canon past Winter Soldier doesn't exist. I present to you yet another Hunt For The Bucky fic, in which healing isn't always straightfoward and there is a whole lot of internal monologuing.
Note
There's a lot of warnings in the tags - these are for the entire work.The warnings that apply for this chapter are: depersonalization, brainwashing, torture, violence.More detailed notes at the end.
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Phone a Friend

James didn’t see this coming. Well, he did, but he’s still just a little unprepared. HYDRA had to regroup eventually. Still, he didn’t call Kazakhstan as the ones who would have their shit together. And they sure do, by his reconnaissance. He doesn’t remember this base, which doesn’t mean anything, really, but he can’t see why they’d have all this security. Maybe it’s because Ukraine’s all fucked and and people watch Russia very closely. He hopes they haven’t detected a pattern from him. Hopefully it’s just general regrouping. 

 

There’s too many people here, even for him. He checks his watch. He doesn’t know how much time, but he might as well tell them where to find the body. If he begins the assault in 12 hours, he will be prepared. If he begins it in 15, he will be fully prepared. Time to gamble with his own life. Because that’s what it is - his. 

 

This base is shockingly, the last one with a chair. Maybe it was a backup location, because he’s done his fucking best to remember whether or not he’s been in that sandy colored building before, but his brain is absolutely not obliging. Either it was so fucking bad that he’s blocked it out or they just happened to get stuck with the chair and not him. Doesn’t really matter, though it would be better for the mission if he did. 

 

He walks back to his truck and drives to where he left his phone. He encodes the message and he sends it to the Widow. She will do with it as she pleases. She is the most likely to betray him, and this kind of chance feels like one he needs to take. Or maybe it’s actually a show of trust in her. He doesn’t know with these sorts of things. 

 

Once that is done, he begins to prepare in earnest. He will be using the last of his supplies, but that is acceptable. Either the mission ends and he turns himself in or the mission ends because he is dead. His life matters only a little to him, in the end. 

 

---

 

In the end, he finishes his preparations around hour fourteen, which is an acceptable amount of time. He sets his charges and retreats to his cover before blowing the base to shreds. It takes a moment before people start to stumble out of the base, and he starts picking them off. The base must go pretty fucking deep, not only due to the crater he made when he blew the lid off the place, but also because the people that start pouring out last are a lot more ready and a lot less dusty. He can hear the structural cracks starting to become a problem, in between the gunfire. That’ll be helpful. But people are appearing from exits and he knows it’s about to get serious. 

 

At some point, someone else shows up - two of them, actually, by his estimation. The smoke is thick, but he can hear the battle changing around him as they enter the fray. Maybe Romanova did talk to Steve Rogers about this.

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