
Who Knows Me Better - Best Friend vs Girlfriend
The video opens to Peter, Ned, and MJ sitting on the couch in the living room. All three of them have whiteboards in their laps.
“Hey guys, welcome back to the Ironfam!” Peter says brightly. “Sorry we didn’t post last weekend, we got super busy and just didn’t really feel like filming, but we’re here this weekend! Today I am here with Ned and MJ, plus Harley and Dad are behind the camera but they’re not playing the game. As you probably saw from the title, today we’re playing Who Knows Me Better!”
“Oh, is that what we’re doing?” Ned asks, looking at Peter. “I thought we were playing Pictionary.”
“Ned, I told you this yesterday.”
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“Anyway,” Peter picks up. “Dad has a list of questions that he’s gonna ask us about me. All three of us are gonna write our answers down on these whiteboards, and then reveal them at the same time. Whoever wrote down the same thing as me gets a point. The winner is, obviously, the one with the most points.”
“What do we win?” MJ asks.
“Uh…” Peter looks behind the camera, before shrugging. “A ****load of chocolate bars.”
“Oh, I am taking you down, Leeds,” she says, lifting up her whiteboard. “Get on with it, Stark!”
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“First question,” Tony’s voice says “What is Peter’s middle name?”
All three teenagers start writing.
“This is too easy,” Peter shakes his head. “I had more faith in you.”
“Hold your horses,” Tony says. “This is only the first question. They’ll get harder.”
By now, they’d all finished writing, so Peter counted off from three, and they flipped their boards around.
“Yep,” Peter nods, leaning forward to look at Ned and MJ’s boards. “It’s Benjamin Parker. For anyone who doesn’t know, Parker used to be my last name, but when Mom and Dad adopted me, we changed it to be part of my middle name, so Stark could be my last name.”
“So Ned and MJ both get a point,” Harley’s voice says. “So they’re tied. Next question!”
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“What was Peter’s favorite thing to do as a child?” Tony’s voice asks.
Peter immediately starts writing, but Ned and MJ both sit still, looking thoughtful.
“Oh, I know,” Ned says, beginning to write.
MJ slowly lowers her pen to the whiteboard and writes something, very slowly and deliberately.
“Everyone done?” Tony asks. “Alright, one, two, three.”
They flip their boards around. This time, they all say something different. Peter’s says Dance and Build, Ned’s reads Watch Star Wars, and MJ’s says build.
“Okay,” Peter nods. “I did love to watch Star Wars when I was a kid, I still do, but I loved taking dance lessons, and I loved to build. With anything. Legos were obviously the easiest to come by, but I also liked to take things apart and put them back together.”
“I should get half a point,” MJ declares. “Because I got it half right.”
Peter and Ned both snort, but nod. “Yeah, I guess so,” Ned agrees.
“So MJ is in the lead with one and a half points,” Harley informs them. “And Ned is just behind her, with one point.”
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“Did Peter ever attend a summer camp?” Tony asks.
All three immediately write on their boards, and flip them around.
“What?” Ned exclaims. “When did you ever go to summer camp?”
“That summer right after Ben got a raise,” Peter informs him. “I went to that science camp.”
“Oh, yeah…” realization dawns on Ned’s face as all three of them wipe off the boards.
“Nobody got a point that round,” Harley declares. “So moving on to round four.”
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“Did Peter ever get an allowance as a child?” Tony asks.
Again, the teens write quickly, and turn their boards around.
“What?” Ned exclaims again.
“I got one for a while,” Peter informs him. “When… when Ben died, May couldn’t afford to keep giving me one, but… yeah, I got one for a while.”
“Ha,” MJ gloats. “I’m beating you.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ned grumbles, wiping off his board.
“MJ’s lead is increasing,” Harley announces. “She now has two and a half points, leaving Ned behind with one.”
“No need to rub it in,” Ned rolls his eyes.
“I’m informing the viewers of the standings,” Harley says.
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“What did Ben and May do for a living?” Tony asks.
“Easy,” Ned and MJ say in unison, as all three scribble down their answer. They flip the boards over, revealing them all to have written the same thing.
“Correct,” Peter nods. “Ben was a police officer, and May was a nurse.”
“I see where you get your hero complex from,” MJ laughs. “How could you not?”
“Yeah, well,” Peter shrugs. “I’ve got a lot to live up to. Moving on!”
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“Just a quick recap,” Harley says. “We’ve got MJ in the lead with three and a half points now, and Ned just behind her with two.”
“Question six,” Tony says. “What was the worst trouble Peter ever got into with May?”
“Oh, damn,” Peter sighs, thinking. “Oh, got it!”
As Peter writes down his answer, Ned and MJ both deliberate for a moment, before they both seem to come to a conclusion at the same time, and write quickly.
“Alright, three, two, one,” Tony counts down, and they flip over their boards.
“Okay, Ned is close,” Peter allows. “MJ’s somehow got it spot on.”
“What do you mean?” Ned asks. “I thought you said that May was the angriest she’d ever been when she found out you were Spider-Man?”
“I mean, she was,” Peter nods. “But she chilled out. She was even angrier than that after she found out, when I got shot on patrol that one time-”
“Oh, yeah, and you didn’t tell her until she found you almost passed out in the bathroom, covered with blood,” Ned nods. “I remember that now. You weren’t allowed out as Spider-Man for, like, weeks.”
“Yeah, well,” Peter shrugs. “I went out anyway, but that’s not important. Moving on to question seven.”
“MJ has four and a half points, and Ned has two,” Harley informs them.
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“Alright,” Tony says. “What was the most trouble Peter’s ever gotten into with me?”
All three immediately begin writing, and flip their boards around quickly.
“That’s too easy,” Peter sighs. “The Ferry incident.”
Ned and MJ’s boards also read ‘Ferry Incident’.
“Care to explain to the viewers what that was?” Harley asks.
“Alright,” Peter sighs again. “So, before Dad and I actually got, like, close, he had given me my suit and was communicating solely through Happy. Granted, there wasn’t much communication, but we’re not getting into that. So I found these guys dealing Chitauri weapons, and I caught them on the Ferry, but they set of this laser gun thing that cut the boat in half, and I almost fixed it, but didn’t really, and then Dad showed up and actually fixed it, and then he yelled at me a lot and took my suit away. But it was fine, because then he gave me a test and asked me to be an Avenger, I passed the test when I declined, and then he gave me my suit back and everything’s just fine now.”
“Um, yeah, about that test,” Tony says, his voice full of laughter. “Uh, it wasn’t a test.”
“What?” Peter exclaims, looking at Tony with wide eyes. “It… it wasn’t?”
“Nope,” Tony shakes his head. “I almost proposed to Pepper then, but didn’t, which is why we pardoned the team so quickly right after that. I had to improvise, and that’s the best I came up with.”
Peter’s silent for a moment, before he whispers, “Holy ****-”
{cut}
“Okay,” Tony says. “What was the biggest trouble Peter’s ever gotten into with Pepper?”
Peter immediately begins writing. MJ deliberated for a moment, before slowly beginning to write. Ned looked completely lost. Finally, he wrote something down, and all three revealed their boards. All three read something different.
“When have you ever gotten in trouble with Pepper?” Ned demanded, setting his board down.
“Okay, so obviously, they’re both wrong here,” Peter said. “Ned, I get in trouble with Pepper all the time. MJ’s close, that was a close second, that time I told her I was spending the night with May, but really I was sneaking out to hang out with these two. However, the time she was the angriest with me was when I pretended I was sick to get out of a press event. It would have worked, too, had I not actually gotten sick afterwards and then failed to explain to her how my ‘strep throat’ had morphed into pneumonia.”
“That was not a fun day,” Tony comments. “She was so pissed off, at both of us.”
“Yeah, cuz you told me to do it!” Peter laughs. “It was totally your fault!”
“Incorrect,” Tony says. “Moving on.”
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“We’re at a standstill, with MJ at four and a half points, and Ned loitering behind her with two,” Harley declares.
“Seriously?” Ned looks behind the camera. “Why don’t you try this, then, see how well you do?”
“Well, that would be unfair,” Harley shrugs. “I’ve only known him for a few months. You’ve known him most of your life.”
“Next question, please,” Peter rolls his eyes.
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“Would Peter attend a high school reunion?” Tony asks.
“Easy,” MJ says, writing quickly.
All three teens flip their boards around. Peter and MJ’s boards both say No, while Ned’s reads Yes.
“Really?” Ned asks, giving Peter a strange look. “Why not?”
“Let’s see,” Peter says sarcastically. “As much as I’ve loved the hellhole that is high school, I don’t really want to know what Flash is doing years after we graduate. Or all his little minions. I’m fine just talking to you three.”
“Fair,” Ned shrugs, wiping off his board. “Moving on, I guess.”
“MJ has five and a half points now,” Harley informs the camera. “Ned still has two.”
“No need to rub it in,” Ned grumbles.
“No, no, rub it in, Harley,” MJ says, smirking at Ned, who rolls his eyes.
{cut}
“Alright, question… ten?” Tony says. “What was Peter’s favorite grade?”
When the trio turns their boards around, Peter and MJ’s once again match, while Ned is on the outs.
“Kindergarten?” Ned asks. “Why Kindergarten?”
“Because we spent all our time playing, napping, or eating,” Peter says. “Also it's the year I met you two.”
“Don’t get all sappy,” MJ demands. “Ned, why on earth would you think Peter’s favorite year was Freshman.”
“Because that’s the year he became Spider-Man!” Ned defends himself.
“It’s also the year that Ben-” MJ abruptly cuts herself off. “It’s also the year a lot of other things happened.”
The room is silent for a moment.
“Well, after that not at all awkward moment,” Peter breaks the tension. “Let’s get on with the next question.”
“Ned, you gotta up your game, man,” Harley says. “You’re still at two. MJ has six and a half.”
“Oh, shut up,” Ned snaps, but there’s no real heat behind his words.
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“Next question,” Tony declares. “What was the name of Peter’s first pet?”
“Easy,” Ned says excitedly, scribbling on his board.
MJ thinks for a moment, before she slowly lowers her marker onto the whiteboard and begins writing.
All three flip their boards around. This time, Peter’s and Ned’s are the same, and MJ is the odd one out.
“Did you have a pet before Lady?” MJ asks, surprised. “I thought May didn’t let you have pets.
“I had a pet in first grade,” Peter says. “Sir Rockalot.”
“He was a rock that had googly eyes glued on it,” Ned nods sagely. “He came everywhere with Peter and I for two years, before Flash found him and threw him off a bridge.”
“We had a very elaborate funeral at recess the next day,” Peter adds.
“A rock does not count as a ******* pet!” MJ exclaims.
“He does if you were emotionally attached to him and were a very depressed eight year old when your grade school bully killed him!” Peter gasps defensively. “Ned and I loved Sir Rockalot, don’t come at us.”
MJ lifts her hands in surrender. “Okay, geez, chill out.”
“Ned’s moving up the board with three points,” Harley dramatically declares. “MJ is still in the lead with six and a half, though.”
“I’m catching up!” Ned defends himself.
“You three are so weird,” Tony snorts.
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“Okay, six more questions,” Tony says. “Does Peter like chocolate or vanilla better?”
“Chocolate,” Ned and MJ state flatly.
“Next question,” MJ deadpans.
“Wow, okay,” Peter says. “You’re both correct.”
“Alright, next question,” Tony says. “Does Peter like to eat at buffets?”
The teenagers write on their boards for a moment, before revealing them.
“No, he doesn’t,” MJ rolls her eyes at Ned. “He always feels awkward when he gets up to get more food.”
“Oh,” Ned sighs.
“That was a little unfair,” Peter allows. “MJ and I went to a buffet on a date, but I’ve never been to one with Ned, so he has no way of knowing that.”
“That’s very true,” Ned says.
“I’m still counting it,” Harley shrugs. “MJ’s at eight and a half, and Ned’s at four.”
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“What would Peter choose as his last meal?” Tony asks.
“That’s too easy,” MJ rolls her eyes.
When they turn their boards around, Harley snorts. MJ’s says Thai, Ned’s says Chinese, and Peter’s says Thai or Chinese.
“We’ll give them both a point for that,” Peter shrugs. “Harley, we already know that MJ’s got nine and a half, and Ned has five.”
“You don’t get to steal my job!” Harley gasps. “That’s the only thing I get to do this whole video!”
“Sucks,” MJ says. “Next question, Stark.”
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“How does Peter like his coffee?” Tony asks.
“Disgustingly,” MJ says, as she writes.
“My coffee is delicious,” Peter retorts. “Just because you and Dad only drink black coffee…”
All three turn their boards around. Neds reads Sickly sweet, MJ’s says Some caramel monstrosity, and Peter’s says With milk, lots of creamer and sugar, iced, preferably with some sort of caramel in it, whipped cream on top.
“I mean, we’re both correct,” Ned shrugs.
“Absolutely not,” Peter shakes his head, cleaning off his board. “If you’re going to be judgemental, then you don’t get a point.”
“Fair,” MJ says.
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“What foods can Peter not eat?” Tony asks.
“Weren’t these both, like, plot points in a couple videos?” Ned asks as he writes.
“Yep, so it’s gonna be sad if you don’t get them right,” Harley says. “Hey, Ironfam, before they reveal their answers, comment down below what you think Peter can’t eat, and we’ll see who’s been here since the beginning.”
{cut}
All three boards read the same thing; Peppermint and seafood.
“As we saw in a couple of the food challenges,” Peter says. “I cannot eat seafood. And, as we saw in the Proposal video, peppermint makes me deathly ill.”
“And yet you still ate one,” Tony sighs.
“I had to stop you somehow,” Peter shrugs. “Moving on.”
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“Alright, this is the last one,” Tony says. “Does Peter like to dress up for Halloween?”
“This was also a video,” MJ rolls her eyes.
All three boards read Yes.
“Yep, I dress up every year and I don’t plan on stopping now,” Peter nods at the camera. “So you both get a point.”
{cut}
“Alright, Harley, scores please?” Peter asks.
“So, we ended with Ned in last, with eight points, and MJ wins with twelve and a half.”
“Ha!” MJ declares. “Suck it, Leeds!”
{cut}
“Alright, as promised,” Peter enters the frame, carrying a giant back. “A ****load of chocolate. I had to suffer going to the store and getting a lot of really weird looks, but here’s MJ’s prize.”
He turns the bag upside down and what looks to be the entirety of Walmart’s chocolate supply spills out into MJ’s lap.
“Holy ****,” MJ says. “I didn’t think you meant that much. There is no possible way I could eat that in an entire lifetime.”
“Well… better get on it, then,” Peter shrugs. He then turns to the camera. “Well, Ironfam, thanks for watching, and I hope you enjoyed getting to learn a little bit more about me! Like and subscribe to join the Ironfam if you’d like to see more of… this. See you next time! Bye!”
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