Heroic Histrionics

Tony’s mother was Italian, and Howard was of Jewish descent. Tony learned about that faith from the Jarvises because god alone knew Howard wasn’t going to do it, but he never once considered practicing. He knew it would be disrespectful to half-ass it, and uncomfortable besides. So, after his teenage years, it never came up again.

He tried to learn some of the Italian recipes his mom had from her mother. He never touched that again either, but he can speak Italian with perfect ease.

Tony is a guy who expresses his affection in three ways. He’ll give presents, he’ll try to help you with things, and he’ll touch you. Sometimes all at once.

Unfortunately, his helping usually involves giving things that can help, and he’s offended more than one person who didn’t get it and thought he was being condescending, or on one memorable occasion, insulting their choice of gear.

It’s things like this that led to Tony just throwing an open line of money at Pepper to buy herself presents because he doesn’t want to get the wrong gift over and over.

By this same token, Tony sees his money as just another thing, unimportant in and of itself. If he can buy things for someone, it makes him feel useful. If he can pay bills, he feels like he’s taking care of people around him. If he buys things they want, it’s presents.

Tony has never had anyone try to hurt him during a hug, and trusts hugs infinitely more than handshakes.

Tony wouldn’t take things from other people starting in his late teens. He got given a drink at a party once and only Rhodey’s intervention saved him from being taken god knows where while unconscious. Other experiences since then have only reinforced his aversion to taking anything from anyone.

This especially applies to food.

If Tony makes something for someone, it’s like he’s trying to give them a piece of himself. Rejecting it is seen as a form of personal rejection.

Tony has consent issues. He will always have consent issues because, in a lot of ways, he is who he is because he never had a choice about his fame. He never had a choice about the direction his life would go.

He’ll never make important choices for anyone if he can avoid it, because in his opinion, it’s horrible, and he wants people to always be able to choose what goes on in their life.

In a very strange twist on this, he’ll always prefer to have his own right to choose stolen from him than to have it happen to someone he cares about, and he’ll consider this totally acceptable.

Tony is still proud of his weapons, and it frightens him that he wants recognition for how well they can destroy things. On some level he still wants them to be used, and it drives him even harder to avoid ever letting them out.

He was simultaneously elated and sickened by what his repulsor tech could have done had the events of WS not been stopped.

He feels much the same about Ultron.

FRIDAY sounds, entirely by accident, remarkably like Steve’s mother. No one has bothered to inform him of this, and he’d be very surprised to hear it.

He would never change her just to make someone else more comfortable if he found out though.

Tony always liked Bucky better. Steve was the one his dad adored, and who he compared him to (usually unfavorably) and he didn’t much care for it. He’d never be a big blond blue-eyed fighter for patriotism.

He could be a charming dark-haired supporting role that would follow his friends to the ends of the earth.

When something has Tony’s absolute, undivided attention, he will be still.

Flirting and sex are, and always would be, because Tony craves hugs and touches. He got amazing at sex because it was the only way he’d get anyone to touch him for years.

He doesn’t regret it, but sex has never been the important part of sex.

Then again, he also does really like sex, but that’s kind of a happy bonus.

Tony doesn’t consider kissing to be attached to relationships even when he’s in one. To him, they’re just another form of casual affection.

Tony’s PAs, as well as Pepper’s, all have had clauses to give them permanent life insurance once they’ve been hired on to either of them. This continues after they’re released due to the high risk of someone going after them in hopes they might know anything just because of proximity.

Tony never stopped giving to charity projects, and personally oversees one of Malibu’s city-wide science fairs every year even now that he’s moved to New York.

Winner of the contest gets to attend a science convention, all expenses paid, as Tony’s official guest, even if he doesn’t end up going himself.

Tony was 17 when his parents died. It’s a difference from MCU canon, but he still didn’t take up the company until he was 21. This gave Obadiah almost four undisputed years in control before Tony stepped up.

Tony’s two favorite alcoholic beverages are Scotch and Champagne. If he’s feeling exotic, it’s Sake. He only goes for something else if these three are not options.

Tony created Dummy as his doctorate project. He was 17.

He created JARVIS before he was willing to touch the company. He was 21.

Tony never picks the accents his AIs use. He just gives them their personality, then lets them pick what they like best. He genuinely wasn’t sure that FRIDAY actually would want to use a feminine voice.

He expected JARVIS to come out Brooklyn because of how he tended to talk while he was still confined to text.

Regrets?

He regrets everything Stane did in his name, he regrets everything his weapons were used for that he didn’t know, or care about even on official channels. He regrets that Sokovia was treated like it was.

He regrets Yinsen.

He regrets Killian and what his negligence did to him and Maya.

He regrets that he was too slow in New York to stop the portal being opened.

He regrets that he failed with Ultron and got JARVIS destroyed. He regrets that he wasn’t there to help Steve in D.C.

He regrets every time he failed to find out what his father did before he took over the company, like what happened with Vanko’s family.

He regrets not paying enough attention to SHIELD to realize the HYDRA situation.

He regrets things he has no right in regretting because he thinks he should be all-knowing and fix everything that he has the ability to touch on any level.

He regrets that he’s not enough to actually be as perfect as he thinks he should be.

Cactus Fruit Sorbet: This shouldn't work but does

Tony being an affectionate toucher. You don’t see much of it in the movies, because he’s very cautious to only touch people he likes or trusts, but if you pay attention, the more comfortable he is with people, the more casual contact he has with them. It’s kind of a fascinating progression that on the surface can seem like an on/off situation where he’s either touching everyone or touching no one and that just isn’t how he works.

Elderberry: Hurt/comfort

I imagine that Tony has this habit of holding his breath when he gets set off on something that might trigger a panic attack, and Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey have learned to watch for it. Usually, this immediately prompts a hug, chatter, or something of that nature to try and distract him, depending which of them it is. I imagine Rhodey is the loudest of the three, but also the one most likely to physically manhandle him to distract him. Happy would probably set off into a current favorite part of one of his shows, and Pepper throws business stuff at his head, which he finds especially bewildering after he gave it all to her, and thus is doubly effective.

On this note, I imagine that because of the physical distance and space that only Bruce has also learned this tell among the Avengers, and he has acquired the habit of fleeing the scene rather than risk them realizing he even has panic attacks.

Jasmine Peach Tea: Self-care/Self-love

Tony buys cufflinks. He has this oddball collection of them from ones that look super gaudy to plain studded metal ones, and he likes to put little bits of tech inside them or along the backs of the bigger flat ones. He rarely wears the same ones twice in a row unless he’s not feeling well and is leaning on a pair as a small fiddle crutch. Usually, when he does that it’s the perfectly smooth ones in his collection he uses because the texture of them doesn’t rub his fingers raw if he passes his fingers over them repeatedly in a day.

Social Groups!

Tony is the frontman officially for any and all events related to the Maria Stark Organization, and it’s one of the few things he’s never deflected to Pepper to handle for him. This means that he’s known in charity circles, to say nothing of other big celebrity circles, the military people he still keeps in contact, and what he maintains in the business world even without being CEO.

What role does he like to play?

Tony likes to be the invisible benefactor. It may not seem like it, but he likes to step back and work from behind the scenes, and he’s set up several smaller charity organizations for different causes along these lines. People don’t connect them with him, and he prefers it that way, though he’ll publically enough donate to them to draw attention to what he’s trying to support.

On a personal level, he just likes to be helpful.

What role does he actually play?

Man in charge, man at the center of everything, guy who the world sees and passes opinions on. He plays shield and deflection screen at once and takes heat for things that aren’t strictly his to take heat for.

It’s just what it is.

Weaknesses!

Tony trusts. It’s painful to watch, honestly. He lets himself fall so deep into trust with people he can’t see that they might not always be on his side, and is surprised every damn time when they aren’t anymore.

He’s a perfectionist. It’s always inwardly directed too, so it’s always him thinking he can do better, do more, do it in some way that makes everyone else’s life easier. It makes him seem like he has this ego and arrogance, but it’s not coming from that place of confidence. It’s coming from that place of self-dissatisfaction that he’s somehow not doing his best yet so he has to keep trying.

He has more, but those are the most crippling two.

Discipline at home as a child?

This was a very confusing situation for Tony. No one was strict, exactly, but there were very firm rules. If you didn’t follow those rules, it varied from person to person. Howard, for instance, would either yell or pretend he wasn’t even there. Maria would scold him and push him off on someone else to deal with. Edwin and Ana actually did things like give him a task to make up for his misdeed and scold him. They were the only two who ever let him know they weren’t mad anymore once his penance was up though.

Did they travel?

Can, did, and does. As a kid, it was going with his parents to things and to school. As an adult later it was business and parties. Now it’s business and heroing. Tony’s never really traveled the world just to do it. He’s always had some kind of thing he needed to be doing when he arrived somewhere.

Man needs a proper vacation.

Religion

Tony is neither for nor against religion. He sees its value, why people do it, and understands the fundamental principles of more than one. He’ll never personally follow any of them, however, because he knows he could never believe in them the way that such things are designed to be believed in. If he could, he would have ended up Jewish, but because of a hard stare into the philosophies of that religion as a kid, he determined that he’d just keep out instead of half-assing it.

Did he like school, teachers, classmates?

Not really. Unfortunately, painfully true up until college. He always felt like he was outpacing the kids around him, even when they were older, and he tended to get a lot of resentment for that. Teachers got exasperated with his restlessness, and school just didn’t feel like a challenge.

Once he hit college it got better, he could talk to people and feel more like he was having a proper conversation instead of being trapped with people who couldn’t keep up. He could work at his own pace, and that all by itself vastly improved the experience.

Does he feel self-righteous, revengeful, or contemptuous?

Well, this one is tricky, because the answer is both yes and no. Tony doesn’t feel like he has the high ground when it comes to right and wrong, and never will, but that doesn’t mean he won’t point out and hold to really rigid standards for himself and others if he thinks they’re fucking up.

Similarly, while he wouldn’t take out revenge on his own behalf, it certainly whips out for everyone ELSE and heaven help anyone who dares trespass on people who he’s claimed under his protection.

And contempt… all intellectual. And even that, it’s more a matter of seeing that someone can do better and then observing that they aren’t which royally tics him off because he is aware, and can see, and thus will lose all respect for that person. Hammer, hilariously, is in this category.

Tony and Thunder

Tony has never had any close associations with thunder, at least, not until after Afghanistan. Before that, it was just a sound that went with rain, loud and interesting but never scary. After Afghanistan, it started to serve as a warning bell to get inside, to not go outside because fuck the rain. Fuck water from the sky.

After he met Thor, it was still a warning bell but also kind of… nice. comforting if he wasn’t out in it, because it meant his teammate was around to have his back. So he still looks around when he hears it, but it’s not all caution all the time anymore. Sometimes he’s just hopeful.

Tony and New People

Oh man. Tony is of two minds about new people. There is, on the one hand, new-to-his-awareness, then there is they-are-new-to-him and these, I should mention, are completely different animals.

If you have caught his attention previous but have not met him in person, he probably has put in the time, energy, and curiosity to research you. Which means he’ll be coming at you from the high ground of more info, which will make him seem a hell of a lot more friendly.

If you are new to him and he’s never heard of you though. Oh my. You’ll either get the ‘I am blatantly ignoring you as in any way equal to me’ situation or the ‘I am going to treat you fabulously but I’m actually wary as hell’ borderline hostile+friendly thing. The upside is that this will rapidly fall in either direction once he makes up his mind on where you sit.

About Tony's Piano

Tony Stark is shown in his first movie with a black piano, very nice, very classy, that he accidentally destroys while falling through his house in a bit of a disastrous landing.

In Civil War, Tony’s opening memory scene has his mom playing the piano. This piano is the same exact kind as the one that was in the Malibu house.

I’m pretty sure that Tony accidentally killed his mom’s piano.

HUD Colors

Tony’s HUD is, from everything we’ve seen, preferentially blue, with red and gold as alternate colors, as well as sometimes white. My Tony at least favors blue as one of his private colors, and red and gold are colors he associates with himself.

Rhodey’s is green. At least, after Tony’s done with messing with it after the Hammer fiasco it’s green. Does that mean Rhodey’s favorite color might be green?

Natasha knew just as much about Bucky having killed Tony’s parents as Steve did. She was there too, after all.

The big difference is that she never preached anything about honesty and insisting on sharing information. She didn’t make herself a hypocrite. It also wasn’t anything new for Tony to not be informed of something, and she might actually have assumed it was Steve’s job to let Tony in on it since it was Steve’s friend responsible.

Not that Tony knows any of this, but it’s definitely something to think about.

Just, you know, putting that out there.

Because reasons.

Tony has issues adjusting to seeing Vision because he makes him sad.

Let me just explain the reason for this. It’s sort of like that guy who loses say, a family member, and they have a kid who looks just like them but has a totally different set of preferences and skills.

The person who lost the family member wouldn’t want to blame the kid, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt to look at them. It’s kind of like that here.

It’s even worse after recent events for Tony too because the absolute trust he had in JARVIS will never have the chance to blossom for Vision.

Not ever.

Not even if he desperately wants to recapture that sense of family and support. That is what he has FRIDAY for, and that’s just not the same as someone who was there for more than half his life.

I mean, he never did replace it.

I noticed that Tony abuses the word though. He uses it ALL THE TIME. It’s like, practically a verbal tic.

He never raises just one eyebrow. It’s almost exclusively both eyebrows.

Any time someone gives him pancakes he eats them dry with his fingers. If they come with fruit, he picks them off with his fingers to eat first then eats it more carefully with his fingers.

He licks his lips when he’s about to say something he’s not sure he wants to say.

He’d rather start laughing hysterically than cry. And will do so.

Tony prefers to initiate all touch unless he’s decided he trusts someone. Sometimes this trust comes frighteningly fast. Instantly even. Other times it’ll be months or years before he relaxes at unannounced contact.

He never meets with strangers on a business level without first watching them for at least a few minutes via his AI.

Gorgeous and Sweetheart are his go to ‘I like you’ pet names, Honey is his exasperated one, and derivatives like Sweetcheeks and Sweetie tend to be used somewhat condescendingly. Sweetie also tends to be a go-to for children and is never meant badly in such instances.

Tony adores children and is continually convinced he’d fuck one up. He’s a viciously protective parent though and would guard any children he had to the ends of the earth like an avenging dragon. He’s an equally protective uncle figure. As has been proven.

Tony is a touchy-feely man. If he doesn’t feel like he can make casual physical contact, he’s going to feel emotionally removed from a person as a whole, because he’ll take the bubble as a subconscious dismissal.

If Tony is distressed, he expects people around him to be rude and power through it. If they try to be delicate, he feels like he’s being mocked or dismissed, depending on if they stay or go.

Tony talks with his hands. Literally. Sometimes if he has nothing in his hands he’ll set off into ASL land while talking, matching gestures to words. This hasn't always had exactly wonderful results.

The above point is a large part of why he always has some kind of phone or tablet at hand or pins his hands in his pockets when he can’t use that distraction either. He’s aware of his hand talking and doesn’t really want that to get around.

He’s a snacker. If you stick food or drinks around Tony, he’ll absently pick them up and eat/drink them so long as he’s in a space he’s deemed safe. Usually, this is only at home, but not always.

Tony likes to share. He will offer people stuff any time he gets something edible pretty much always.

Tony also likes to give gifts. The more useful, the more he likes you/wants to impress you. If it’s something catered to your tastes and needs it’s a sign of incredibly deep regard. If it’s not. Well. He either can’t figure out what you need, or just plain doesn’t know what to do with you. He never gives gifts if he doesn’t at least like someone.

He will hug. He does that. He’s really good at being able to tell when people Do Not Hug however and will act accordingly. Sadly, this means he doesn’t get to hug often at all.

He won’t take things you hand him. He will not shake your hand. These are signs of extreme trust.

He feels no need to let people finish talking if he thinks they’re being stupid. However, if he truly respects someone he will wait them out and listen.

He smiles. If he’s angry, he smiles. If he’s hurt, he laughs. If he feels sad, he’ll grin. Tony’s smiles are happy from time to time, but it’s unfortunately not anywhere near as often as it seems. His media smile is flawless, and only people who know him well can usually tell the differences.