Saviors

I hadn’t talked to Steve for two days. I spent the majority of my time reading, or at least trying to read. I couldn’t stop thinking about Steve’s face when I mentioned Sharon.

He looked sad and embarrassed. He looked confused, and mostly he looked defeated.

It took that face for me to realize the feelings I had been having for Steve. If it weren’t for our fight, my feelings wouldn’t have bubbled over, seeping all through my body and soaking through my heart.

I was left even sadder and more confused than before. Why couldn’t he give a straight answer? There should have been a simple reason as to why he called Sharon to meet for drinks, but it seemed like he had nothing.

I sat contemplating my thoughts like this over and over again for the past two days in my apartment. Luckily, I had enough snacks stashed away to hold me over while I recouperated. Besides, it’s not like I was eating regularly ever since the snap. The wave of depression hit hard, and when I was at my lowest lows I barely ate anything.

As I munched on some cereal (it was 2:00PM, mind you) I heard a knock on the door. I heard a knock on the door once this morning that I had ignored and three times yesterday. They all went unanswered. This time though, I saw an envelope slide under the door with “Nat” written in big bold letters.

I could feel my heart pick up and after staring at it for a few minutes, I finally got myself to go over to it and pick it up.

I could practically hear my heart beating through my chest as I opened the letter and saw the pages of scrawled words. I found my favorite spot on the small couch in my apartment and began reading:

Nat,

For starters, I wish I could have told you this in person, but it’s clear you don’t want to listen, and I get that. I want you to know that I’ve been thinking about you constantly over the past two days, and I miss you. It feels like forever since the last time we talked in person, and it doesn’t feel right.

I wish I gave you a better answer to your question, and I think I have one now. Sharon had called me a few weeks ago asking to grab drinks, and I figured that it was out of goodwill. When I met with her though, she poured her heart out to me. She said she was lonely and sad and needed me to be there for her. Trust me, I wanted to be there for her, but only as a friend. There was a point when I loved her aunt, but I could never love her in the same way.

Even still, meeting up with her put everything into perspective for me. I realized that not only did I never love Sharon, but the love I had for her aunt wasn’t as deep as I had once thought. Peggy was a great person and deserving a great love - but I wasn’t it. Sharon certainly isn’t that person for me either.

When you caught me talking to Sharon on the phone, I was returning her call from earlier in the day. I was going to meet up with her to check in on her and see if she was okay and ultimately tell her that I couldn’t see her anymore and that I didn’t want her to think there was anything romantic between us.

Like I said at dinner, I have been thinking a lot about us lately, and I want you to know that I don’t have feelings for Sharon anymore. Nat, you’re the most important person to me, and I’m sorry I haven’t said it sooner.

Sincerely,
Stevie

P.S. I think I owe you more than one.

—————

I read through Steve’s letter over and over and over again, a sad smile sitting on my face. How is it that even when Steve seems like he’s in the wrong he’s not? He’s really too good for me.

I’ve been such an idiot this entire time; I knew I had to make it right.

I tossed the letter aside and I shuffled toward my front door, fully-prepared to sprint to Steve’s. Before I could do so though, I was stopped by his large body getting up from the ground faced opposite of my front door. He waited.

He looked worn out and stressed - like he hadn’t slept for the past two days. He was nervous and continued to look down at the ground, and then back at me, and then back at the ground. I could hear him gulp after taking a large inhale.

“Steve-,” I said, before I was cut off by him.

“Wait,” He said, grabbing my hands in his, causing my brows to furrow, “Let me go first. Nat, I’m so, so sorry. I feel like I ruined everything with us because I don’t know how to let someone go. But I promise you, she’s only a friend, if I can even call her that anymore. When I first would meet up with Sharon, I thought that maybe there could be something between us again, if I really pushed myself. I quickly learned that that would be impossible, and then there was you...” He trailed on, looking nervous again. I so desperately wanted him to just say what we both were thinking already.

My heart was pounding, and I knew where this was going. I didn’t have the strength to say anything on my own though, for there was the tiniest fear that maybe he didn’t feel the same way that I did - that maybe all of this was fabricated and overdone in my head.

“Yeah,” I said in a low, sultry voice.

“Nat, ever since that kiss in the bar I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Hell, since we met I hadn’t stopped thinking about you,” I felt my cheeks go pink and I tried to hide my smile, “I know I told you that I wanted you to be my friend, but let’s be honest, I was young an naive at the time. I wasn’t yet aware of the force that is Natasha Romanoff,” We both laughed and I pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so shady these past couple days, I just didn’t know how to process everything and the more I thought about it all, the more possible it was in my head that I was going to lose you,” I mumbled, giving him another squeeze before releasing from our hug. He still held onto my hands.

He let out a big exhale and smiled again, “Nat,” Steve started, but I could tell he was still searching for the words. I waited for him to speak so that I wouldn’t have to, but I knew that it would be a while before he said anything.

Instead, I gently grabbed his cheek and caught his eyes, “Steve, are you going to make me say it first?” He smiled from ear to ear - his pristine teeth stark against his soft pink lips.

He grabbed onto my head after brushing my hair out of the way and pressed his lips onto mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds before pulling away and smiling. His nervousness faded and instead was replaced by a joy only matched by me.

“I’ll take that in replacement for words,” I said, leaning in again to kiss him.

God, it felt like I was trapped in that moment in the hallway for an eternity, and I couldn’t ask for anything better.