
74th - part 13
katniss
It’s quiet without Johanna.
johanna
Maybe I should go back. Katniss would go back, if it were her tributes that died. She would be there by my side, still cheering on my tributes like they were her own, because that’s who she is. Defender of the fucking hopeless. Well, that’s not me. I can’t go back and cheer on the kids from 12. But…maybe I should go back for Katniss.
I feel like everyone keeps looking at me. Or at least at the empty chair. I try not to look so deserted, if that’s possible. But everyone knows.
I should go back. It’s not her fault.
I hate being alone here. I wish Johanna would come back.
I should go back, but I can’t go back like this and I can’t get my shit together enough to fake being ok. If I go back, I can’t let anyone know that this got to me.
Maybe I shouldn’t have listened to her. I could’ve followed her anyways. Maybe that’s what she really needed, and I’m the idiot who didn’t see it.
I wish I didn’t tell her to leave me alone. I wish I didn’t care about any of this. I wish I didn’t keep looking up at the door hoping to see her. I wish I didn’t want to see her. I fucking hate this. I hate caring about my tributes and I hate caring about Katniss.
But I don’t know what I would’ve said to her. I’ve never lost a tribute, so anything I could say would just sound fake. She wouldn’t want to hear it.
Whatever. Fuck it, I don’t care. My tributes were fucked from the start. I don’t need Katniss Everdeen to try and convince me otherwise. Fuck her.
I guess I’ll just sit here until Haymitch and Blight come in.