Show Me Something
Show me something true
I know you're still alive
Listen I, I can make you warm inside
Fever so high, there's no way that I can beat it now
Listen now, listen now, how can I not love a mind so criminally beautiful?
“Dibiyu” - Evanora Unlimited, Ecco2k
“Okay, so the trick is to hold it like this,” I explained as I grasped the long, sleek katana blade in front of a stack of boxes.
Widening my stance, I adjusted my grip on the handle slightly as I squinted, aiming at my target.
“See that Eezybeef logo right there?” I nodded to the words printed on the center box.
“Mmmhmm, hard to miss.” Judy replied impatiently.
I chuckled and, in one fell swoop, slashed a line perfectly through the center of the logo. The box then immediately puffed into debris. I smirked as I faced Judy, positioning the katana on my palms before bowing and presenting it to her. Judy clapped mockingly and took the sword from my palms.
We had begun our journey down to Arizona a few days back before stopping by a canyon to set up camp once again. Tomorrow we planned to meet with Pablo, making the decision it was best to take him by surprise. This was a safety protocol we agreed on, in case he had any tricks up his sleeve. Though Panam stood by her trust in his validity, there was still some unease given she hadn’t been in direct contact with the doctor for years. Not to mention the worry that Pablo may decline our plea for help, given we don’t have much to offer him. I came up with an idea, however. Since eddies were few and far between for a procedure such as this, I figured Pablo may accept the old Arasaka chip stashed in my skull as a viable source of payment. Panam and the other Aldecaldos felt it could work very well, considering the piece of technology is worth more than one can even fathom.
It was early evening, a measly dinner and a couple of Brosephs in, Judy said she wanted me to show her how to use a katana. I had spent the entirety of the meal describing how I had learned traditional Kung Fu techniques during my teen years, which led to my beer-induced bragging about how I was the best sword wielder the Bakker’s had since the 2030’s. Part of this was a lie, since my dad technically was the “master” that showed me martial arts, but to my defense, he did indeed say I was one of the best sword fighters he had trained. Judy showed incredible skepticism during my drunken ramblings, so I told her I would teach her my “tricks of the trade”, so to speak.
“Definitely impressive, calabacita.” Judy laughed as she held the sword hesitantly in her hands.
“Impressive, yes, because I’m the best.” I smirked cockily.
Judy rolled her eyes and attempted the stance I had just walked her through. She looked over at me with uncertainty, as her slightly intoxicated self wasn’t quite recalling the steps I demonstrated.
“Just like that!” I mused, giving her a confident smile.
I had to admit, though she seemed anxious, she had a natural stance.
“Phew, okay. Here goes nothin’.” She muttered before taking a swing at another EezyBeef box.
The strike just missed the top of the logo, but was still incredibly remarkable for Judy’s first time.
“Ooof! Holy shit, Jude!” I exclaimed, a large smile plastered on my face.
Judy burst into laughter at the sight of my excitement. I knew this sort of stuff wasn’t that interesting to her, but she found my passion to be incredibly amusing. Maybe for that reason alone did she want to do this, just to see me excited about something. Judy was thoughtful in that way; the moments in which I rambled on about the mechanisms of certain pistols, or even the proper ways to start a campfire, she always listened intently. She took in every speck of information, even during the most mundane and boring topics. I guess for those reasons that I began to realize how much she really does care for me. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t interested in what I was rambling about, but rather that I was rambling about something I loved.
“I feel like I missed pretty badly…” Judy said through giggles as she carefully handed the katana back over to me.
I took the sword from her and placed it back into its sheath before admiring the vision of her smiling before me. As the days passed since our departure from the ‘Mancers, I realized for the first time this meeting with Pablo may very well be a dead end. The thought brought me intense turmoil as I began to realize that the life I have has an expiration date, and that expiration date was soon among us. It was hard to think of it this way since I had been feeling more and more alive ever since Johnny’s voice was gone from my head. Despite the anxiety, I took the time to really appreciate everything around me. The comforting smell of burning wood, the crisp taste of an ice cold beer, the butterflies in my abdomen when Judy looked at me a certain way. All of it was so present, yet fleeting before my very eyes.
“V… What’s that fuckin’ gonk look you’re givin’ me right now?” Judy asked, snapping me back to reality.
I smiled and shook my head, “That was perfect, Jude. You’re incredible.”
Judy blushed and rolled her eyes, “Why do I feel like you’re not talkin’ ‘bout the katana anymore?”
I dropped the katana on the ground and brought myself closer to Judy. She looked at me with both confusion and loving passion as I closed the space between us, wrapping my arms across her lower back and pulling her body against mine.
“Because I’m not,” I replied as I brought my face closer to hers.
Judy smirked playfully and reached her hands behind my neck, pulling me in for a hot kiss. The beer had impaired my judgment enough to not care about my surroundings as I kissed her back feverishly, a sudden lust fueled desire causing me to crave her bare skin against mine. I pulled her body tight against me, kissing her harder. Judy matched my passion and ran her hands through the back of my hair, gently tugging the strands as she did. I gasped against her mouth before eliciting a hungry growl, lifting her up off the ground. Judy smiled through her kiss and wrapped her legs around my waist. I carried her over to the boxes of Eezybeef and sat her on top of them, moving my kisses from her lips down to her jaw, and then her neck.
“Mm, someone’s horny,” Judy teased under her breath, before escaping a soft moan as I gently bit her neck.
“There are kids here, you know!” Panam’s voice suddenly chimed from behind me.
I snapped my head back and stared at Judy, eyes wide with embarrassment. I felt my cheeks grow red hot. Judy burst into uncontrollable laughter and scooted back enough to cross her legs on top of the boxes.
“Hi Pan,” I gulped as I turned around to face the Aldecaldo leader.
To my surprise, Panam was boasting a shit-eating grin, unlike the infuriated snarl I had imagined her suiting. She laughed mischievously and took a swig from a bottle of O’Dickin whiskey before handing it over to me. I stared at the Aldecaldo with shock, my drunken mind unable to fully grasp the situation. I had immediately regressed to the mindset of a child who had just been caught doing something they shouldn’t by their parents. Panam chuckled and nodded towards the bottle of booze.
“V, chill, I’m just busting your balls.”
I took the bottle and took a long swig, grimacing at the sting it left in my throat, before extending it over to Judy. Judy giggled, although I could see she was blushing with embarrassment. Panam strolled over to the EezyBeef boxes and sat next to Judy, taking the whiskey from her and drinking another sip.
“You guys sure make a girl lonely, though.” Panam joked under her breath.
Composing myself, I decided to make a snarky remark in order to make up for the embarrassment she caused.
“Why don’t you call Nate then, huh?”
Panam shoved me playfully and rolled her eyes, “Fuck no.”
We all laughed at once, enjoying each other’s company. Another moment in which I felt I was really living, surrounded by the people I love.
***
Later into the evening, with Panam remaining as a cock-block, we had found our way by the communal campfire alongside Mitch, Cassidy, and Carol. Judy rested her head on my shoulder as we laughed and joked drunkenly about all sorts of ridiculous things. Now on our third bottle of whiskey, I was definitely feeling loose. The orange glow of the fire surrounded us, and we hadn’t a care of how loud and rambunctious we had been acting.
“So, V, on a serious note, you ready for tomorrow?” Mitch asked after the laughter had subsided.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” I replied.
The whiskey was making it hard for me to fully grasp the intensity of what would enfold.
“Kind of nerve wrackin’ though, ain’t it? Could be a dead end.” Cassidy added.
Dead end. The thought that had haunted me for the past few days. As much as I didn’t wanna consider the validity in that, he had made a good point. It’s something that needs to be acknowledged, at the least.
“Why would you say somethin’ like that?” Judy snapped.
Judy had risen her head off my shoulder, suddenly sitting up right and attentive. I noticed her previously tranquil expression had transformed into fury.
“Woah, easy girl, was just makin’ a point.” Cassidy refuted.
“What kinda point is that? Doesn’t she already have enough to worry ‘bout? What good is it to put that negativity out there?” Judy hissed, her voice raised slightly.
I placed my hand on her back in a gesture to calm her. I hoped that my touch would ground her, but instead she whipped her head toward me, the same hostile expression on her face.
“Don’t tell me you think this gonk’s got a point!” Judy shouted.
I rubbed my hand over her back soothingly, despite the anger that was just thrown my way. I glanced vacantly at the fire and took a deep breath.
“I can’t say I haven’t considered that.” I muttered, slightly defeated sounding in my tone.
“V…? You bein’ serious?” Judy asked, her voice suddenly quieter.
I looked down at my boots and nodded, a long silence followed.
“Listen, Judy, we have options if that does happen. I know another guy in Austin-” Panam intercepted before Judy cut her off.
“The fuck you sayin’ right now? You told me, us, that Pablo was reliable. Were you not tellin’ the truth?” Judy’s tone was harsh again.
I could tell the alcohol was taking effect on her.
“He is! I mean, dude knows his stuff, alright? It’s just in case.” Panam pleaded.
“I can’t deal with this shit!” Judy stood up.
“Judy-” I reached my hand out to her but she was already storming off into the darkness.
Panam stood up and began walking after her.
“I’m sorry y’all, was really only askin’ a question.” Cassidy said softly.
“Cass, I know, don’t worry.” I replied before getting up and grabbing Panam’s shoulder to stop her.
“Let me talk to her, she gets…spicy…” I muttered.
Panam nodded and smiled softly before taking her seat back down by the fire. I followed Judy through the desert. She was sitting on a small rock by the canyon, face down in her palms. I could her a muffled sob coming from her as I approached. I sat next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me as she cried. The tension in her back released as she collapsed into my lap. I felt her tears soaking through my pants as I rubbed her back with gentle strokes.
“I can’t fuckin’ deal… Not knowin’... I can’t lose you, V!” Judy cried.
“I’m right here, love. I’m not goin’ anywhere.” I said softly.
My eyes burned hot. A few tears rolled down my cheeks, but I managed to hide it from Judy. It broke my heart to see her so devastated. I knew that her anger and sadness was not a result of Cassidy’s question, but rather the pain this whole experience was bringing her. I bit my lip to subdue my sobs. It was killing me more seeing how much this was hurting the woman I love than it was that I was actually dying. I can’t believe I’m putting her through this, and for what? Companionship in my last months? I know Judy said it was her decision, but maybe I should have been wiser. I should have never let her get this close to me.
“Judy…” I croaked.
Judy continued sobbing, clutching her hands on my legs tightly.
“Judy, I’m so sorry…” The sob I was holding in suddenly slipped out, hot tears freely flowing down my face.
“S-shut up. Don’t even say what you’re ‘bout to say.” Judy huffed.
Can she read my mind?
“I just… It’s all my fault, you know?” I whimpered.
Judy suddenly sat up. She grabbed my face tightly with both hands and looked me dead in the eye. A sudden harsh seriousness in her expression despite the tears flowing from her eyes.
“V. You listen to me, okay?” She said sternly.
I blinked and nodded.
“None of this shit, and I mean absolutely NONE of this, is your fault. And before you start goin’ off and on ‘bout how this ain’t fair to me, just know that I don’t fuckin’ care, okay? You’re worth it, all of it. I wouldn’t be here, away from Night City, if it wasn’t for you. Does that not make sense to you? No one has ever given me this… Given me love like this… I just, I… I can’t lose you…”
“I’m sorry-” I began to say, before being interrupted by Judy’s lips pressing against mine.
Her kiss was hot, passionate, yet gentle and longing. A sudden craving I wasn’t expecting. Nonetheless, this action spoke more than her words. I placed my hands behind her head and kissed back, expressing the same desperation she did. The yearning grew hotter and brighter and the kissing quickly turned feverish and messy, as if we only had just this moment to be together. Judy’s grip on my face tightened and she pulled herself on my lap, a silent gesture expressing her desire to get closer to me. I moved my hands to her lower back and pressed her body against me, hoping that somehow our figures could mesh into one. Judy’s hands slid behind my head as she grabbed my hair into her fist, tugging it in such a way that caused me to moan involuntarily. The sound awoke something even deeper within her as she suddenly pushed me on my back forcefully. The rock beneath us was far from comfortable, but nothing mattered anymore. The only thing I wanted was Judy. She straddled my waist, looking down at me with an intense expression, one I had never seen before. She maintained eye contact as she removed her shirt, exposing her bare chest. I grabbed her waist and met her gaze, silently pleading for more. Judy removed my hands from her as she stood up, eyes still fixated on mine as she slowly removed her pants and underwear. The sight of her body under the moonlight was the single most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed. Judy grabbed my hands, pulling me back up into a sitting position. She removed my jacket and shirt and then knelt down and began pulling down my pants. I gasped as her mouth made contact with my bare thighs, gently kissing them before wrapping her arms under my legs and taking me into her mouth. The sensation was nothing I had ever experienced, though she has given me head numerous times. It didn’t take long for me to reach climax, the peak caused my head to fall back onto the rock beneath me, collapsing in pure pleasure. My eyes snapped open when a sudden pressure dug into my abdomen. Judy was once again straddling me. I gripped her waist tightly with my hands as she began grinding herself against me. Her eyes glued to mine as she continued, bringing us both to orgasm at the same time. She moaned as she came, a loud guttural noise I was sure the Aldecaldos all heard. She collapsed on top of me, resting her head under my neck. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close as we both caught our breath.
“I love you, V.” The first words she spoke since taking me to fucking Mars and back.
“I love you, Judy, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” I whispered.