Death's Door
Find me in the shadow with my Glock out
You can fuck around, you can find out
Creep around the corner with a blade out
Blood drip let me see you inside out
“The House of the Dead” - NADA5150, Mr. Kitty
“Fuck, V!” Judy whimpered with a hot breath.
Catching my own breath, I removed myself from in between her legs and flopped down beside her, laying face down on the bed of the Aldecaldo truck. I breathed heavily as I came down from climax, hearing my heartbeat drumming aggressively in my ears. I tilted my head over to the side to see Judy basking in the afterglow, sweaty and smiley, looking directly in my eyes. I matched her smile and flipped over to my side in order to face her, planting a messy kiss on her cheek before resting my head on my hand. Keeping myself propped with one elbow, I continued to admire Judy’s face, feeling an overwhelming sense of warmth bubble inside me. It’s one thing to express your love for another with physical actions, but it feels like another thing entirely once there are words spoken to solidify that physical meaning. Love… I thought romantic love wouldn’t ever be in the cards for me, even though Misty had explicitly pulled a tarot indicating that love was indeed in my future. Despite the prediction, I still never thought my being a mercenary, or my death sentence, would warrant anyone to feel the way that Judy feels toward me.
“I love you, V.” Judy breathed, still coming down from earlier events.
“Valerie.” I mustered.
Though we had been romantically involved for some time now, I had never found the right moment to really open up to Judy. Let alone tell her fully about my past, or my full name. However, she still knew enough to know that she loved me. That should be enough, I had thought, but she deserves to know everything. I felt comfortable, for once. Like for the first time since I got shot in the head that things were consistent. I knew I couldn’t scare Judy away. She’s seen me at my worst, and goddamn I can’t wait to show her my best.
“Huh?” Judy asked, a smile tickling the edges of her mouth.
Somehow, I knew that she knew that was my name. She was a techie, after all. I wouldn’t hold it past her if she had dug into my background a bit. I mean, she did say her abuela was somewhat of a detective. I wouldn’t doubt that trait wasn’t then learned by her granddaughter.
“My name, it’s Valerie, not just ‘V’. Not many people know that.” I replied.
Judy’s smile edged to full display and she pulled herself closer. She wrapped her arm gently around my neck and pulled me in for a kiss, I could feel her smile on my lips.
“Valerie.” She murmured against my lips before kissing me again.
I had to admit, hearing Judy’s voice say my name definitely made me hate it a lot less than I did. And this kiss… it felt different. Stronger, more passionate… more… loving. I returned the expression and pulled her closer to me, an eruption of desire flooding through me, causing me to shift my hips closer to Judy’s. I pressed myself against her, wanting our bodies to connect into one vessel. Judy breathed a quiet sigh of pleasure as she matched my energy, wrapping her arms tighter around my neck and then pressing her waist against mine. The sudden rush of her skin against me caused me to yelp a soft moan which I buried against her lips. Our hips began grinding together and my lust grew in capacity, I knew it wouldn’t take long for me to come again. I reluctantly pulled my face away from hers, only to pin her beneath me as I shifted my position to on top of her. Judy looked up at me hungrily as I spread her thighs apart with my knee before shifting my weight to press my hips back against hers. The action brought Judy to moan, the sound so powerful that it weakened my stance. I felt myself melt into her as my weight dropped from being held up by my hands to now being held by my elbows. I thrusted myself against her, breathing heavier and heavier as the pleasure increased. Suddenly, my holo pinged an incoming call from Panam.
“Excellent timing.” I huffed, dismissing the notification and continuing my actions.
Judy brought her hands to my chest, a gentle signal to discontinue. I pouted, a subconscious expression, but noticeable enough to cause Judy to giggle.
“Baby,” She murmured breathily.
“She can wait.” I brought my face down to Judy’s and began kissing her jaw.
Judy escaped a soft moan but then shook her head, causing me to retreat my face.
“Baby, something could have happened.” Judy’s tone was suddenly serious.
My lustful brain was beginning to subside as I realized that what Judy was saying could be true. There are a number of things that could potentially go wrong. The Aldecaldos need us. I sighed dramatically and rolled back over to my side, planting a quick kiss on Judy’s lips and then returned Panam’s call. I held the holo up high in order to keep my bare chest out of view.
“Uh, hello V’s forehead.” Panam said as she answered the call.
“Everythin’ okay?” I asked, dismissing the remark.
“Just dandy, thanks. I just woke up. But V, you’re gonna wanna head back here, pronto. Got some info for you both.” Panam replied.
Based on her tone, she seemed more annoyed than anything. A good sign, to say the least. If something was up I would certainly be able to tell.
“Alright, we’ll head over. See you soon.”
I ended the call and sat myself up. Judy had already begun putting her clothes back on. I groaned in defeat and followed suit, knowing that there was no way out of this mess now. As much as I wanted to stay parked in the middle of the desert with Judy, I knew that I at least needed to get this chip out of my head. The more time that passes with it stuck in me, the more I come closer to nonexistence. The thought caused me to shudder.
Judy and I had parked along a canyon to do some sight seeing. Panam hadn’t ushered us back to the Technomancer’s base yet, so I figured we might as well kill some time. Our “sight seeing” had quickly turned into another kind of sight, however. But now it was over, and we had been signaled to go back and face reality. Part of me was excited to see what was waiting for us, but another part was completely frustrated. As much as I am invested in mercenary-type work, I was beginning to feel a longing to settle down. I silently vowed to discontinue merc work if I found a cure. Pulling myself out of my daydreaming, I climbed into the passenger seat and Judy started the truck. I fiddled with my bandages as we made our way back to camp.
“After we talk to Pan, you better let Sonny take a look at you. Make sure you’re in good shape for what’s to come.” Judy remarked.
I nodded, understanding she wasn’t just talking about my cracked ribs. My mental state was on a steady decline, though not noticeable yet, it was worth taking a look.
We arrived back at camp in a cloud of dust. Panam had instructed us to meet her back at the vehicle tent. Judy parked the truck and I hopped out, eager to hear what the Aldecaldo leader had to say. As we entered the tent, I saw Panam standing behind a chair. Seated in the chair was Nate, tied up. Panam was holding him at gunpoint. Nate looked up at me fearfully.
“Ah, so much for telling the truth.” I huffed, realizing he must have been withholding information.
Otherwise, I’m not sure why he would be strapped and held at gunpoint… Unless, Panam’s seriously into some kinky shit.
“Nate, did you wanna tell them what you told me?” Panam growled, pushing the pistol deeper against his head.
Nate gulped and maintained eye contact, “I know what that ceremony was.” He muttered.
I rolled my eyes, “Okay, and?”
“And… It’s not what you think. They’re doing it willingly. Ya know, the dying, or whatever.” Nate stammered.
I sighed and looked over at Judy. Her arms were folded across her chest defensively. She seemed furious, to say the least. I grabbed a chair and dragged it in front of Nate before sitting down and staring him in the eye. Good ol’ detective technique.
“So… Because they’re doing it ‘willingly’, I’m supposed to just turn a blind eye?” I asked.
Nate shook his head, “No-no! Uh, it’s just, it’s an important ritual… for the ‘Mancers. We’ve been doing it for decades… It’s hard to explain.”
Panam thudded the gun against Nate’s head, he winced.
“Explain anyway.” She sneered.
“Okay! Okay. Um, so years ago, an old ‘Mancer leader, Zack Bridges, he uh- well, he discovered a way to do your own ‘Secure Your Soul’ kinda thing, right? So he connected himself to this big ass computer and was able to upload his psyche onto it. It was incredible, like, revolutionary, ya know? So then everyone did it. The computer is holding, like, hundreds of people’s psyches. It’s one of the Technomancer’s most valuable items.” Nate babbled.
I raised a brow, curious to hear more. Where was he going with this? Why were people dying…?
Nate swallowed, then continued, “So, right before Zack died, he had an idea. He thought, ‘how preem would it be to have access to all of these people’s minds’? I mean, think about it, all of that knowledge… it could be transformative. It could change all of humanity. So, anyway, he tried it. Ended up just like the choom who you say flatline last night. We try once every couple of months, or whenever Zack’s engram tells us to try…”
I held my hands up, “Woah, hold up, you mean to say… You can still talk to this Bridges dude?”
Nate nodded, “Yeah, you can connect to the net and talk to everyone who uploaded their psyche. It’s nova!”
I scratched my head. These people are absolutely nuts. They’re willingly flatlining themselves in hopes of having hundreds of people’s brains in their heads?! I could barely handle Silverhand!
“Ya know, Nate… Uh, as someone who is currently dying from havin’ had a personality construct in my head, I can say from experience, that is absolutely bonkers.” I snorted.
“No, V, it’s the future. An endless database of knowledge, perspective, experience… It could change the entire course of humankind. Don’t you feel wiser after having had that experience?”
I scoffed. Wiser? More like a testosterone packed scumbag.
“Uh, no. I feel like shit.”
“This is ridiculous.” Judy hissed.
“V… Your engram could actually be extremely useful to us. Silverhand’s, too.” Nate said, a desperation in his tone.
“Piss off! There’s no way she’s doin’ that!” Judy snarled.
Panam whacked Nate in the side of the head with her pistol. His head drooped over, knocked unconscious.
“Well, now that that’s taken care of, let’s go see Pablo.” Panam mused.
“How?! Nate’s our only connection!” I was flabbergasted.
Panam held up a shard, smiling cockily, “Not anymore.”