a right time
Peter Parker had hated being alone. He had hated it his whole life. The hatred had been exacerbated when his parents died. He was attached to May’s leg for weeks and weeks. It increased tenfold when Ben died. He needed people around to keep himself content, to keep himself sane. However, as he learned, you can’t always get what you want.
He woke up all by himself.
“Mr. Stark?” He called, even though the desert-like landscape of Titan had been replaced by a seemingly empty realm. The only thing Peter could see was his own suit. “Mr. Stark? Are you there?”
Man, he felt so bad. He had gotten Mr. Stark all worked up, and he wasn’t even dead. He was just in some… weird place. Well, Peter had made quite a habit of ending up in weird places, so he was certain he would get out of this one. It would just take some time. Surely.
If he wasn’t with Tony, that probably meant that Tony was looking for him, right? Tony had to be looking for him.
“Karen?” he asked his suit.
There was no answer.
“Karen, can you hear me?”
Nothing.
Huh.
---
It didn’t take long for Carol to realize that Tony Stark was held together by Scotch tape, if anything at all. She knew it as she watched him eye the screen in the common area of the Compound, his face falling at the site of a young brown-haired boy. She wanted to ask what his name was, but Tony didn’t look all too receptive at the moment.
She hadn’t been surprised when he passed out, but she was the first by his side, the first to lift him up and take him back to MedBay. She had also been the first to roll her eyes at Steve’s suggestion to have a meeting in the first place. She was beginning to see why the Avengers had fallen apart. They didn’t know how to communicate, to compromise. They didn’t know how to take care of each other. She had given this entire rant to Tony’s unconscious body as Bruce hooked him back up to the IV, gently placing the arc reactor back in his chest.
“Do you know what happened?” She asked him. “That made them so… “
Bruce shook his head. “I was stranded in space when they had their… thing. Rhodey was telling me how bad it was, though. Even if Tony forgives Steve, I don’t think Rhodey will.”
“Why?”
Bruce exhaled. “He says Tony went to Siberia to get Steve to come back, to sort out the whole dispute. Rhodey picked him up after because he said he couldn’t get himself home on his own anymore. His arc reactor was destroyed. Tony nearly got hypothermia, but Rhodey said that wasn’t the worst of it. He said… Tony just looked destroyed. He wouldn't say why. Hasn’t been the same since.”
Carol nodded slowly, taking in the information.
“I missed him a lot when I was gone,” Bruce said suddenly. “He was like my… my best friend, before…”
“I get that feeling.” Carol smiled. “My best friend has been on Earth all these years while I was in space.”
“Oh yeah? What’s their name?”
“She. Maria. I met her years ago. We were both in the Air Force, the only female pilots. She gets me, you know? She was… I don’t know. I’m still so impressed, if that’s the right word, that she was able to get past all of this,” Carol lit up her hand to show her powers. “and be a friend. She somehow knew I was still the same person I’d always been, even when I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. Yeah. I definitely know that feeling. Tony was the only one who didn’t walk on eggshells when we first met.” Bruce chuckled. “He kept poking me as if it was going to turn me into the Hulk. He was the one who taught me that it didn’t make me a monster.”
“Of course it didn’t make you a monster. It never would have happened to you if it wasn’t meant to.”
“You believe that? Things only happen when they’re meant to?”
Carol shrugged. “Most times. I’m having trouble seeing the reason behind all of this, though.”
The “this” she was referring to was obvious.
Bruce sighed. “Well, the quote-unquote team is back together. We met you. Maybe that’s the why.”
“Yeah.” A half-smile appeared on Carol’s face. “Maybe.”
---
Tony had known from the beginning that the press conference was going to be a nightmare. Not because of the other people there, no, but because he couldn’t really seem to get a handle on his emotions. He had been pretty lucky, for the most part. He only ever seemed to breakdown in front of Pepper and Rhodey (and Bruce, once, in MedBay). His grief seemed to come out in the form of anger when around everyone else.
Tony was dressed in all black, like a funeral. It was kind of a funeral, though, wasn’t it? Tons of people had just died, and he was saying his piece in order to help the crowd assuage their grief. Sounded like a funeral.
“Remember,” Steve said as Happy made sure Tony’s tie was centered. “Follow the script.”
Tony sent the man a glare before shouldering past him. He hadn’t really said a single meaningful word to Steve since the day he came back. He had meant what he had said; there was nothing left for him. There was too much on Tony’s plate already, and dealing with an ex-frenemy was not top priority.
He took a deep breath before walking out to the podium. Instantly, when he looked at the journalists who gathered, he was hit with a crippling feeling of nostalgia. The room was half-full, which made sense, but hurt nonetheless. They deserved so much more than this stupid script Steve and Bruce had written him.
(“You do know he’s not even going to glance at that, right?” Rhodey had said, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, if he knows what’s good for the planet, he will.”
“He’s not going to. Don’t even bother.”
“Rhodey.”
“Fine. I do enjoy a good ‘I told you so.’”)
He didn’t look over at the others as he shoved the cards into his back pocket, but he could feel Steve throwing his head back in frustration.
“Hey everyone,” He said when he finally stepped up to the podium. “Lot of shit’s gone down since the last time we were here, hasn’t it?”
A few solemn nods.
“I had a speech…” He paused. “They wrote me a whole speech for this, but… You guys deserve something authentic. From the heart, or whatever.”
Tony sighed, pulling the sunglasses off his face before folding them and placing them on the podium. “I’m just going to start by saying that I’m sorry. Truly. I’m sorry we couldn’t stop it. Stop him. You’re probably wondering what happened.”
He thought of the cards, the script written in Steve’s neat print, front and back.
(Alien attack. Nothing they could do. Powerful magic.)
“There was an alien named Thanos. Any of you Greek students out there, feel free to laugh. Thanatos means death. Stylish name choice there, right?” Tony laughed, but it sounded empty. He slammed a fist on the podium. “I chased him to space. Couldn’t stop him. I tried, believe me, I tried. He…
“He wanted the stones. The infinity stones. When you get all six of them, they are the most powerful things in the entire universe, so that’s cool. He wanted to… His endgame was to kill half of all life. He thought we were overpopulated. He thought that too many people were waking up hungry, which is true, but that was no way to fix it, especially since he killed half of all plants and stuff, too. Alien doesn’t mean smart, I guess.”
The press looked at him with sad eyes. They knew, he thought. He hadn’t told anyone but Pepper, Rhodey, and Bruce about Peter, but somehow they all knew. I’m sorry, their faces said.
“We were supposed to be your defenders. Your protectors. You were supposed to be able to rely on us to stop things like this, and you couldn’t, and… I don’t think I’ve been more sorry for anything in my entire life.”
They all sat for a moment, in the silence.
“That’s not what this conference is about, though. It’s about… learning how to move forward. Firstly, I have sent out my relief services, the suits you probably saw on the way here. They will work on cleaning up the streets and the rivers and look for people in danger. I sent them all across the country, and I’m working on prepping a new batch to send overseas. We have expanded the Compound’s MedBay to account for anyone who needs long term care, and we’ve converted the first three floors into relief suites. We have grief counselors on site at all times, located on the 4th and 5th floors. No appointment needed. Doesn’t cost anything to you guys. I’m funding the entire thing.”
He paused. “You’re our number one priority, now. We will do whatever we can to bring back the people who… the ones who… are gone, but we can’t make any promises. Questions?”
“What can we do? To help?”
Tony smiled. It was almost completely unnoticeable. “We’d recommend joining volunteer operations to clean up. On the, uh, Stark Industries website, the home page has links to all the different companies assisting. You can sign up there, too. People to drive ambulances and help out others in tricky medical situations are always needed. I think the biggest thing you can do, though, is just check up on people. If you haven’t talked to them in a while, and you know they have medical issues, and you think something might have happened to them, go talk to them. See if they’re alright.”
“The ash,” someone else asked. “What are we doing with it?”
Tony sighed, rubbing at his palms as if Peter’s ash was still there. “We are going to clean it up. It’s an environmental hazard, and it’s already beginning to contaminate the air. If you can, just… We are trying to collect all the names of everyone lost per area for a memorial in Central Park. We’ll give more information to you as we get it. Anything else?”
“Did you lose anyone, Stark?”
Tony blinked.
(“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good-”)
“Didn’t we all?” Air caught in his throat. “No more questions. Again, I’m so sorry.”
He nodded at the press once more before walking off stage.
---
“I told you,” Rhodey muttered, a cheeky grin on his face.
Steve huffed.
---
Tony could barely even think as he walked off the stage. He felt kind of like he was going to throw up but also a bit like he was going to pass out. Mostly, though, he felt like he was going to cry. Bawl his fucking eyes out because they had to ask him about the fucking kid-
He took a shaky breath, setting his jaw as he pushed open the door. Steve was instantly in his face.
“What was that?” He asked, his voice vaguely threatening. “We wrote you a script; we had it all in the script!”
Tony felt like a bomb. He needed to get out of there. He had to get out of there. Steve needed to get out his way so Tony could get out of there-
“Can we do this later?” Tony’s voice was hoarse, but Steve didn’t seem to notice.
“You could’ve ruined the whole thing.”
“I didn’t.”
“How would you know? You didn’t look at the cards.”
“Please. Please. Not right now.”
“There’s never a right time with you! I don’t even- I don’t know what’s happening with you-”
Steve’s voice dissipated into nothing. All Tony could hear now was Peter.
(“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good.” He had barely been able to stammer out the words, and Tony. God, Tony couldn’t stand it. Peter had to be okay. Peter had to be okay. Peter had to be okay.
“You’re alright,” he said. His voice wasn’t confident. Not breezy as usual. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. He was terrified, he realized, more terrified than he had ever been in his whole life.
“I don’t know what’s- I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t-”
Peter collapsed into Tony’s arms, holding on with so much force that he was hurting Tony’s back, but it didn’t matter, none of that mattered, not right now. Tony hugged Peter back as tightly as he could; maybe, just maybe, if he held on tight enough, the dusting would eventually cease. Peter would be fine. Peter had to be fine.
“I don’t wanna go, Mr. Stark, please,” He begged, and Tony found his own eyes filling with tears. He wanted to save him. Wanted to tell him that everything would be alright. He would do anything for Peter to be alright. “You need to save me, Mr. Stark. No one else can save me. Please. I need you to save me.”
They fell to the ground. More like, Tony fell to the ground. Peter didn’t exactly have the legs to fall from anymore. Tony was going to throw up. He doesn’t… Tony Stark, the man who could never shut up, suddenly had nothing to say. Nothing to say to his kid, who was dying right in front of him-
He held Peter tightly, so tightly, nonetheless.
The kid turned to look Tony in the eyes. Tony wanted to be strong for him, he had to be strong for him. He wanted to tell the kid that he would be alright, that Tony would always save him. Instead, he said nothing.
“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered, and before Tony had time to tell him all the reasons that didn’t make sense, that Peter had nothing to be sorry for, that this wasn’t his fault, that he was loved-
He turned to ash, and suddenly Tony’s arms were empty. Suddenly, his hands were covered in dust, Peter, Peter’s dust.
Before he had time to process, he heard the voice again-
“Mr. Stark?”
Tony looked down at the dust on his hands, then up towards the source of the voice. There was Peter, wobbling on his feet yet again.
Peter rushed over to him, and Tony, confused, pulled this Peter into a hug, too.
This continued on and on, faster and faster until Tony’s head was clogged with the voices.
“Mr. Stark?”
“I don’t know what’s-”
“Help me-”
“I don’t wanna go, sir-”
“I’m sorry-”
“I’m sorry-”
“I’m sorry!”)
When he blinked, he was back at the Compound, on the floor, his head hiding in his knees and his hands covering his ears as he rocked back and forth. He wasn’t crying, but he couldn’t catch his breath. There were hands on his shoulders.
“It’s okay, Tones. You’re at the Compound with me. It’s okay.” Rhodey. It was Rhodey.
“I can’t breathe,” he said, pathetic, whiny-
“Yes you can. Yes you can. You just think you can’t. Your brain is tripping you up, man. Just do what I’m doing, okay?”
Rhodey slowly peeled Tony’s hand away from his ear and put it on his chest. He then took an exaggerated deep breath. “See? You can definitely do that. I know you can. Wanna prove me right?”
Tony nodded, doing his best to breathe in with Rhodey. They sat like that for an indecipherable amount of time. They kept sitting, sitting, until Tony caught his breath.
“God, that was inconvenient; I really wanted to,” Tony made a vague motion with his hand. “Stick it to that guy.”
Rhodey chuckled. “No worries. Bruce did that for you. It was funny to watch, actually. I always forget how much pent up anger that guy has.”
“Aw, did Brucie go green for me?”
“You wish.”
“I really do. It would be fucking hilarious.”