The First Birthday Party
July 31st, 1981
What the hell do you wear to a toddler’s first birthday party? The only parties Regulus had ever actually attended were the formal dinner parties his family hosted, so they weren’t really the same situation and the parties that happened in the Slytherin common room weren’t exactly child friendly - Barty always made sure of that.
Sirius had snuck into Grimmauld Place and grabbed some of Regulus’ clothes for him, but he didn’t take much so his wardrobe wouldn’t be obviously empty. However, the clothes he had brought back couldn’t have been more random. A pair of black slacks, a pair of dark jeans he didn’t even know he had, an old grey sweater he only ever wore late at night, a black t-shirt, and a pile of socks and underwear. He had completely ignored any of Regulus’ formal robes, any of his button up shirts he normally wore, or even just a pair of pajamas - he hadn’t even grabbed a belt.
“Did you even look in my wardrobe or did you just stick your hand in and hope that something would come out?” Regulus asked as he looked at the small amount of clothes laying on the end of Sirius’ bed.
“I grabbed what I could, but your style’s kinda boring.” Sirius shrugged.
Regulus stopped and looked over at his brother with a glare.
“Fuck off.” Regulus said defensively as he started to grab his clothes from the bed.
Sirius laughed.
“Sorry! It’s just that it’s very… Mum and Dad.” Sirius teased him.
“I do not dress like Mum and Dad!” Regulus shot back defensively.
“Yes, you do!”
“I do not!”
“You do!”
“Well sorry I don’t wear leather jackets in the summer and heavy boots that leave blisters on my feet!” Regulus yelled.
Sirius only laughed again, finding his brother all riled up, quite amusing.
“No one said you had to, but slacks? Formal dress robes? I was surprised I even found jeans in there.” Sirius laughed again.
Regulus rolled his eyes as he walked out of his brother’s room, carrying what little clothes he had.
“I do not dress like Mum and Dad…” He mumbled under his breath.
“Yes, you do!” Sirius called to him.
“Fuck off!”
Regulus carried the clothes out to the living room and tossed them onto the couch. He stared at the limited clothing he had then down at the t-shirt and jeans Sirius had let him borrow. What the hell was he supposed to do with this? Not even just a white button up shirt? He could always dig through Sirius’ wardrobe or even Remus’ for that matter.
Rolling his eyes at his lack of options, he marched straight back into the one bedroom, past Sirius, and went directly into their wardrobe, pushing through the hanging shirts. Sirius stood there and watched him for a second, his arms crossed as he tapped his foot. Regulus paid him no attention as he shuffled through clothes.
“Can I help you find something?” Sirius asked sarcastically.
Regulus didn’t reply as he pulled out a white button up shirt that looked just a little too big for him.
“Who’s shirt is this?” He asked, turning back to Sirius and holding it up.
“Moony’s… why…?” Sirius replied.
Regulus looked it over for a second, checking for any stains or rips he hadn’t seen. He then shrugged and began to walk away with the shirt in his hand. Sirius stood there, watching him as he ignored his question and just left with the shirt. As Regulus began to walk down the hall to the living room, Sirius finally followed after him.
“Reg, wait! Why are you stealing my boyfriend’s clothes?” Sirius asked, calling after him.
Regulus didn’t take a moment to stop as he pulled his t-shirt off and began to pull the new shirt on.
“Eh… He won’t mind.” Regulus shrugged as he did up the buttons.
“Well I mind!”
“Why? It’s not your shirt…”
“HE’S. MY. BOYFRIEND.”
Regulus just shrugged again as he did up the last few buttons of the shirt and adjusted how it sat on his frame. It was definitely Remus’ shirt, it was much baggier than anything of Sirius’ he had worn.
“And it’s not your shirt.” Regulus said. “Also, I wouldn’t have to be taking his shirt if you had just gotten better clothes from my wardrobe.”
Sirius glared at him for a moment as he watched Regulus adjust the shirt. He rolled his eyes as he turned to the couch and flopped down on it, unbothered by the fact that he was on top of what was currently half of Regulus’ own wardrobe.
“You’re sitting on my pants.” Regulus said flatly.
“And you’re wearing Moony’s shirt.” Sirius replied, crossing his arms and his legs as he sat back and raised his nose in the air.
“You are such a child.” Regulus sighed.
Sirius stuck out his tongue at him.
“How Remus puts up with you, I’ll never know.” Regulus said as he yanked the black slacks out from under Sirius.
Just as Regulus finished changing and Sirius continued to pout on the couch, Remus opened the front door and came in with a bag in one hand and a new bottle of firewhiskey in the other. He shut the door behind him with his foot as he walked into the living room, putting the bag and the bottle down on the coffee table. When he looked up at Regulus, he paused for a moment and looked him up and down .
“Is that my shirt?” He asked as he straightened up again.
“Yeah.” Regulus replied casually.
“Alright.” Remus said with a shrug as he bent down again to dig through the bag on the coffee table. Sirius frowned at him.
“I don’t see why you want to be all dressed up anyway…” Sirius mumbled.
Regulus turned back to him and crossed his arms, a little annoyed that he was still pouting over a shirt.
“Because, Sirius, half of the people there last saw me when I was a Death Eater. You could say I’ve proven myself enough already, but I don’t feel I have and I want to make a good impression, alright?” Regulus explained, a little frustrated. Regulus let out a little sigh. “I just want them to like me.”
“When have you ever cared whether people like you?” Sirius asked a little too quickly.
“My entire life! I care way too much whether or not people like me!” Regulus shouted. “I- I’ve just always chosen to hate people first… so it hurts a little less when they’re disappointed by me…”
Regulus wasn’t entirely sure why he said it. He would have never admitted something like that to anyone, especially not his brother, but something in him felt like he needed to say it. Though, he didn’t think he’d ever say something like that again.
“This is stupid. I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” Regulus shook his head. “Anyway… Remus what did you get?”
Regulus turned his attention completely from Sirius who was still staring at him until Remus pulled out a children’s book from the bag. It looked like it had been bought second hand, but was rather large and had little, intricate, gold details along the cover. The pages along the edges were slightly worn and the spine of the book was slightly curling at the end, it had clearly been a well loved book once. Along with the book, he pulled out a small, stuffed dragon and tossed it to Regulus.
“There’s your present to give to Harry.” He said, picking the large book back up.
Regulus hadn’t even thought of getting a birthday gift. Granted, he wouldn’t have been able to go out to get one anyway, but now he felt a little bad he hadn’t even considered it. He was just thankful at least someone else thought of it.
“What about Sirius?” Regulus asked, looking down at the stuffed creature.
“Oh, I’ve already got my present ready to go.” Sirius cut in, pulling himself up from the couch.
He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a loosely wrapped, long package. There was a red bow tied around it and a tag that read “Happy Birthday to my favourite godson! Love, Uncle Pads.” Sirius looked quite proud of himself as he held it up, seemingly having forgotten about the clothes. Remus took one look at the package in Sirius’ hand and sighed.
“You bought it, didn’t you?” He asked, shaking his head.
Sirius grinned at him as he continued to hold it up, looking over his wrapping job.
“Lily’s going to kill you.” Remus added.
“But Prongs will love it!” Sirius smiled.
Regulus looked between the two of them, then at the gift in Sirius’ hand. He had a feeling he knew what it was and he wasn’t surprised in the least bit that evening when it was opened.
When the afternoon came, Regulus, Remus, and Sirius all gathered themselves up, collecting their gifts for Harry and the bottle of Firewhiskey that Remus said was for the adults for later. As long as he didn’t let Sirius get too carried away with it, then all would be fine.
Regulus was going to have to side along apparate with Sirius or Remus to make sure he didn’t leave a trace when they disapparated. It was an odd feeling to disapparate on its own, but doing it as a side along with someone else, always felt even worse. You never knew when exactly to expect the tug behind your navel or the squeezing that seemed almost tighter and it always made landing on your feet that much trickier. He’d done it enough times with his parents and a few times with other people when he wasn’t sure where he was going, but it never seemed to get much easier, rather he just got used to it and tried not to stumble when his feet hit the ground.
Sirius was sent ahead first to make sure it was safe for Regulus to quickly sneak in and when he sent them the signal in the form of his patronus that it was safe, Regulus linked his arms with Remus’ and took a sharp breath in.
“Ready?” Remus asked.
Regulus nodded.
With a turn, a yank, and an uncomfortable squeeze, Remus and Regulus were whisked away for the alley beside their flat and landed on a cobblestone road in a little village called Godric’s Hollow. They stood outside of a modest old English house that seemed to blend in with the rest of the houses around them. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a simple family home fit for a young couple and their son.
Remus didn’t seem at all fazed by the home as he casually began to walk up to the front door and let himself in as if he did this often. Regulus followed quickly behind him like a duckling clinging to its mother, feeling completely out of place just by being there. He stayed behind him, letting Remus’ tall frame cover him up as they entered the house. Remus looked back at Regulus once before he moved any further down the hallway.
“You alright?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Regulus nodded. He was not fine.
Remus gave him another single nod before he turned back to the doorway into their living room and entered, followed by a chorus of greetings from everyone already there. Regulus took a deep breath and checked his shirt again in the mirror in the hallway.
We’ve got this. Everything will be fine… Fuck, no it won’t.
He had half the mind to just leave the present at the front door and leave again until he heard his name called by Sirius from the other room. He took another breath and ran his hand through his hair, pushing his curls back as they only just fell back into his face. He took a couple steps forward to the door and sheepishly poked his head around the corner before stepping into the room where all of their friends were already gathered around. The room was quiet as he stepped in and they all looked up at him.
“Uh… hi…” He nervously greeted them all with a faint smile.
James was the first to greet him back. It was always James that made anyone feel welcomed. He just somehow knew how to do that. Regulus would swear that he could pick out any one person in a room who seemed like they felt out of place and bring them into a spot where they felt at home. It was almost like a super power he had, he could just make you feel safe, even if he’d never spoken a word to you before.
“Reg!” James called out happily. “I’m glad you made it, mate! Wasn’t sure if you’d actually come or not!”
This was the moment where Regulus could solidify his place with everyone. Whatever he chose to do next would be how they’d all remember him and too many people remember him as a cold, heartless, pureblooded Death Eater. He didn’t want that. Sure, he wasn’t about to flip his entire personality, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to be friendly…
“Yeah… Well… Couldn’t miss Harry’s first birthday… party of the century right here…” He said jokingly as the faint smile on his face grew just a little bigger.
James let out a laugh and smiled at him as he stood up and clapped him on the back, directing him further into the room to join everyone.
“Right you are!” James laughed.
In the living room, Remus had sat down on the end of a couch and Sirius leaned against the armrest, seemingly having given his seat to Remus, Marlene and Dorcas sat on the other end of the couch with Marlene’s arm slung over Dorcas’ shoulder as they happily watched Lily and Mary who sat on the floor with a million toys and little Harry who was happily babbling and waving around a little toy car. He was up on his feet and cheerily bobbing around as he made a show of his car to everyone that would look.
They all looked happy, but not the “normal” kind of happy, there was still an air of melancholy floating around, as if something, or maybe someone, was missing from the picture. Everyone was happy to watch Harry as he played, but something was different and Regulus could only assume it was the absence of Peter, the man who had been their friend since childhood, sent off to Azkaban instead of here with all of them, celebrating the birthday of his best friend’s son. It almost made Regulus feel that much more out of place. Each one of them had on a brave face, pretending that nothing was wrong for a day, but Regulus knew he’d never be able to fill that hole for them, he’d never really be one of them.
James left the room for a minute before coming back with a dining room chair and placing it by the couch. He gestured for Regulus to take a seat.
“Sorry, we don’t have much seating in here, hope this’ll do.” James said as he walked over to Lily’s side and sat on the floor next to her, holding his arms out for his son to try and waddle to.
“It’s fine, I could’ve just stood too.” Regulus assured him, awkwardly sitting down in the dining room chair.
“No, no! Make yourself comfortable!” Lily said with a kind smile. “We’re all here to have fun and be together!”
Similar to James, Lily had this comforting sense about her. Her eyes always seem to have a shine to them and her smile was never dull. She had this kindness, this gentleness to her, but that wasn’t something you should be fooled by. Lily was also a force to be reckoned with, she always got what she wanted and she never backed down when faced with danger. She fiercely loved and with the type of love that so few people seem to know. She held this power within her that Regulus rarely ever saw in people, but it didn’t intimidate him, in a way, it almost made him feel safe too.
“Right, yeah…” Regulus nodded at her as he crossed his leg over his knee. He looked down at his hand, realizing he was still holding the little gift bag Remus had given him that had the birthday present in it. “Oh, um… here, this is for Harry.” He said awkwardly as he held out the gift bag.
Lily’s eyes lit up at the gift back and she quickly got up to her feet and took the gift from Regulus.
“Oh how sweet! Thank you, Regulus.” Lily said as she added the gift bag to the small pile they had formed in the corner. Lily stopped and took a look at the little pile and shook her head with a chuckle. “Harry, you spoiled, spoiled boy.”
Lily went back to Harry, leaning over and giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead as he held himself up on the coffee table, trying to keep his legs steady. Harry reached his hands out to his mother, making grabby hands at her as he wobbled on his feet. She happily scooped him up, holding him on her hip and he seemed comfortable there, perfectly content to sit in her arms.
Regulus couldn't help but quietly watch them both. He watched them for a while, not fully aware of how long he had been staring at them. It felt… strange… seeing a mother, a real mother, with so much love for her child. It seemed so unfamiliar. A part of him wanted to be uncomfortable. He almost wanted to feel out of place in all of this, yet he didn't.
It wasn't long after that when dinner was ready, a pot roast with roasted potatoes and steamed vegetables. The smell of it drifted in the air and Regulus realized he couldn’t remember the last time he had had a big home-cooked meal like this. For the longest time, he had been just living on whatever food he had around the house or whatever food people would offer him, but it was often sandwiches and snack foods. Never exactly a meal to sustain a person, but as the meal was served and his plate was piled high with food, he let the smell of it all linger around him for a moment.
“It’s okay to eat, Reg.” Remus whispered to him, slightly leaning towards him. “No one’s gonna take it away.”
Regulus shook his head a little as if shaking himself out of a trance and looked over to Remus.
“Right, yeah, just… zoned out a little.” Regulus assured him as he picked up his fork.
Remus gave him an almost knowing look as he straightened up again and resumed eating his own food. Everyone around the table continued their conversations, laughing and catching up with each other. Every so often, someone would direct the conversation to Regulus, but it was never about anything that would have made him stand up and walk out. They were genuine questions or little jokes that really made it seem like they were interested in just him, not his past, not his family, not the horrible shit he’d seen over the years - they just wanted to know him.
Eventually, a bottle of wine was opened and everyone took a glass. Harry continued to play with his food in his high chair, smacking his hands into the mashed potatoes and letting it get all over his shirt. The adults around the table continued on and Regulus mostly just listened to them as they reminisced about their days at Hogwarts before the war had started. Peter was mentioned from time to time and they talked about him as if he were a friend who had long since passed. It was as if they were all pretending that he hadn’t tried to betray them, that he hadn’t really wanted them dead. Even Marlene, who had fought him off when attacked them, seemed to only talk about their days as students when the two had been friends and shared fizzing whizbees and gossiped about everyone all night. It should have been sad to listen to, but they were all laughing as they talked.
At the end of dinner, everyone was full of wine and food and Harry was getting restless in his highchair as Lily lifted him out of it and left the room to go and change his food covered shirt. Everyone but James and Regulus returned to the living room to wait for Lily to come back down with Harry and open the presents. James began clearing the table of all the leftover food and Regulus began picking up plates and piling them.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that!” James said as Regulus came into the kitchen with plates piled in his arms. “You’re a guest here!”
“It just didn’t feel right leaving it all to you.” Regulus said as he carefully put the plates into the kitchen sink.
“Don’t sweat it, Reggie!” James assured him with a friendly pat on his shoulder. “Go join everyone else, I’ll be right there.”
James smiled at him as he gave his wand a swift flick and a sponge began to clean the dishes in the sink on its own. Regulus gave him a nod and left the kitchen, rejoining the others back in the living room. Not long after, James and Lily returned with Harry in a new, clean shirt and Lily set him down on his blanket on the floor where he quickly resumed playing with his toys.
“Why don’t we open some of Harry’s birthday presents before the cake?” Lily suggested.
“Yes! Definitely! I can’t wait for you to see what I got for my godson!” Sirius said excitedly, grinning at Lily who looked at him a little suspiciously.
“You didn’t…” Lily said, dropping her shoulders.
Sirius didn’t respond, only grinning directly at her as she went to the pile of presents and brought them over to the coffee table in front of Harry. Harry’s eyes seemed to widen at the colourful wrapping in front of him, as if his round, green eyes could have gotten any bigger. It didn’t take very long for his little hands to start tearing into the wrapping paper as Lily helped him by starting a little tear for him. He cheerily laughed and giggled as he pulled out each shiny new toy. When he opened Regulus’ gift and pulled the red stuffed dragon out, he started to giggle again and tightly hugged the dragon, rocking his body back and forth quickly with it. A small smile crept its way onto Regulus’ face as he watched the toddler hug the dragon. He felt a hand pat his shoulder as he sat on the armrest of the couch and looked up to see James just behind him, smiling his sunshiny smile.
“What do you say to Reggie, Harry?” Lily asked the boy gently.
Harry looked up at Regulus with a big smile on his face as he held up the dragon.
“Tank you, Weg-gie!” Harry tried his best to say as he went back to playing with the dragon and his other toys around him, the new ones already mixing in with the old.
Regulus nodded at them with a small smile and continued to watch as they opened the last of the gifts. They got to the last one, Sirius’ gift that he had been so excited about, and Lily took one look at it and sighed, seemingly defeated. She once again started the tear for Harry who started tearing the wrapping to shreds. His eyes lit up at the gift in front of him and James smiled brightly at the boy. It was a kid’s training broom, his first broom.
Lily stood up and moved back as James scooped Harry up with the broom and helped him onto it without a second thought. It didn’t take very long before Harry was hovering just a foot above the ground and slowly floating around the room with James keeping his hands outstretched to catch him at any moment. He soon started to pick up his pace a little more, eventually zipping and zooming around the room as his laughter echoed around them all.
“He’s a natural, Prongs!” Sirius cheered, as Harry zipped around his legs. “He’s gonna be playing quidditch just like his dad in no time!”
Even if Lily didn’t love the idea of him on a broom, she still smiled and laughed as she watched James follow Harry around.
“He’ll make an excellent chaser, look how fast he’s already going!” James laughed along.
“I think he’d be better as a seeker,” Regulus chimed in without really thinking about it, “everyone knows seekers have the fun job anyway.”
“I don’t know, it was always quite fun playing a beater and knocking you Slytherin’s off of your brooms.” Marlene added with a laugh.
“When did you ever knock me off of my broom?” Regulus said back. “I think I was more likely to be knocked off by James running into me during those games.”
“Hey! I am a great flyer!” James said, still following Harry in circles around the coffee table.
Mary then stood up and walked out of the room for a moment, coming back a minute later with a camera in her hand.
“I’m sorry, I just need to have a picture of this moment.” Mary said as she raised the camera to her eye and bent down a little. Lily sat down next to Remus as they laughed with Sirius at Harry and James as the toddler continued to zip past his father’s feet. Mary snapped the picture and waited a moment before putting the camera back down again. “You guys are adorable, honestly.”
Harry eventually grew tired of playing with his new broom and that was when they all went back to the table for cake where James and Lily had to help Harry blow out his birthday candle. Everyone cheered for the toddler, standing on the chair and the end of the table and he bounced his legs excitedly in return. Soon after, it was Harry’s bedtime and Sirius crouched down in front of Harry with a big smile.
“Can your godfather have a hug?” He asked, holding his arms out to Harry.
Harry happily jumped into his arms, hugging Sirius as he crouched down for him.
“Can I tell Padfoot goodnight too?” Harry asked and Sirius smiled at him.
“‘Course you can, kiddo!” He said as he stood up and a moment later, where Sirius had just been standing, was a shaggy black dog. Harry immediately jumped at the dog and hugged him too with a loud shriek of laughter.
Regulus knew that Sirius had become an animagus years ago. It was actually Remus who had told him, but he’d never actually seen it until now. He was sort of impressed.
Lily then scooped him up and took him up the stairs as Harry waved to everyone. Everyone else sat around the table, opening the bottle of firewhiskey Remus had brought. Regulus had already had two glasses of wine, but still accepted a glass as they were passed around.
As the night grew later and everyone continued to drink, the bottle eventually seemed to empty itself and that seemed to be when the questions started to come out. It was James who asked the first question. He was clearly tipsy when he asked, but so was Regulus.
“What was it like?” He asked, putting his glass down and leaning back in his chair.
“What was what like?” Regulus responded, sure he knew what was about to be asked.
“Being… one of them …” James said carefully.
Regulus sighed deeply as he leaned back in his own chair. Everyone’s eyes seemed to fixate onto him and for the first time that night, he was starting to see what he had been worried about.
“It was… just my life…” Regulus responded, looking down at his glass.
“What did you have to do?” Mary asked, now also intently listening.
“Things I’d rather not say.”
“Why not?”
“Because that person was never who I was and I don’t want him spoken of in the same breath as me.” Regulus raised his glass to his lips and threw back what was left in it. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, things that I deeply regret, but what I don’t regret is being here. Not physically here, but here, in my life. I don’t regret any of this.”
Everyone silently sat around the table, some people staring directly at Regulus and some trying to avoid eye contact. James seemed to be the one who couldn’t take his eyes off of Regulus as if he was trying to figure something out about him. What it was that he was trying to decide, Regulus could have only guessed.
“So… then why did you join them in the first place?” James asked more curiously rather than anything malicious.
Regulus thought about his answer for a moment. He could have said a million things to him, he could have taken the easy route and just shrugged and said “I don’t know” but he didn’t.
“Because sometimes people are born into families where love is earned, not given,” Regulus finally said, feeling his voice shake a little, “and then those people don’t know that love should never have to be earned. Those people aren’t bad people, they’re just… lost… backed into a corner where you can either try to fight their way out and risk being killed or just keep their head down and do as they’re told.”
The room was deafeningly silent at that point. Now, all eyes were on Regulus and he couldn’t have felt any smaller if he tried. He slid down a little in his chair, looking down at his empty glass and wishing there was still more whiskey in that glass bottle on the table.
“Christ, mate…” James finally said, breaking the tension he had accidentally started. “I’m sorry… I mean Sirius told me some things, but he never made it sound so…”
“Brutal?” Regulus answered for him.
James awkwardly nodded.
“Well then… I guess Sirius isn’t as dramatic as I thought he was.” Regulus teased with a hint of a grin.
“Oh, don’t worry, he’s plenty dramatic.” James joked, a hint of his smile coming back to his face again.
“Yeah, he just uses it all on Remus.” Marlene added, making Dorcas snort.
Sirius didn’t even try to deny the accusations as he shrugged and threw an arm around the back of Remus’ chair who had a faint redness to his face now.
The night only continued to grow later and soon enough everyone began to say their goodbyes and thank James and Lily for having them. Marlene and Dorcas were the first to leave followed by Mary who all took their time to hug their friends before leaving. Regulus wasn’t sure if any of them would try to hug him too, but as Mary made her way around to everyone for a goodbye hug, she stopped at Regulus and gave him a smirk.
“Didn’t think you were getting away without a hug too, did ya?” She said, holding her arms out to him.
“Oh I- uh…”
“Come here you.”
Mary pulled him into a big hug with little hesitation and Regulus’ entire body seemed to tense up. He wasn’t entirely sure how to respond, but awkwardly hugged her back with a pat on the back. When she let go of him she laughed a little and looked up at him.
“You need to loosen up a bit. We’re on the same side after all, aren’t we?” She asked with a laugh.
“Yeah… yeah, we are.” Regulus nodded, taking a breath. “Sorry, I’m just not exactly used to people hugging me as a goodbye. Usually just a handshake or something…”
“Well, get used to it because I hug all of my friends.”
“Right, yeah.”
The three girls left for the night, disapparating into the night as the rest of them watched. Sirius, Remus, and Regulus were the only three left there and Remus seemed tired and ready to leave while Sirius wouldn’t stop talking James’ ear off. Remus eventually managed to drag him away, saying their goodbyes for the night as well and waiting outside for Regulus. He wanted to be able to properly say goodbye too and thank them for inviting him to join them.
“Um… so uh… thanks- thanks for having me. I’ve had a good time tonight…” Regulus said, seemingly a little unsure of his words. He didn’t know why he sounded so unsure, he did have a good time. Actually, he had had a better night here than he had in a long time.
“Of course, Regulus.” Lily said with a soft smile. “You’re welcome here anytime, really.”
As Lily spoke, her hand reached for James’ and their fingers intertwined with each other. James barely even acknowledged it as if her hand was always meant to be in his. Regulus only glanced at their hands for a second, but felt a small twinge in him he hadn’t felt before and he wasn’t sure why as he looked back up to their faces that seemed so content and in love.
“Right, thank you… again.” Regulus choked out as he backed towards the door. “I- I’ll see you around then.”
“Will you be at the Order meetings?” James asked as Regulus’ hand began to pull the door open.
“Order meetings? Oh! Uh… I’m not sure yet, but maybe.” He stuttered out as he pulled the door open. “Anyways, have a goodnight!”
Regulus hurried out the door towards Sirius and Remus who were waiting by the side of the street. Sirius was the first to notice Regulus rush out and looked at him with a slight suspicion which Regulus tried to avoid looking at at all.
“Ready to go then?” Sirius asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
“Yeah, let’s go.” Regulus replied quickly, grabbing onto Sirius’ arm.
The three of them quickly disapparated and landed in the alley. Without a word, Regulus walked ahead at a faster pace and up to the flat, going straight into the kitchen as Sirius and Remus passed him and went to bed for the night.
Regulus spent the rest of that night on the kitchen floor with a bottle of whiskey in his hand from one of the cabinets and a lot of hard questions that needed to be quieted.