Two Years Later And Still Perfect
"Hey Tony" Steve managed to stutter out, immediately diverting his eyes to focus on his chest which turned out to be a worse decision then if he continued to look in his eyes. He couldn't see the reactor under the suit, but that didn't stop the thoughts.
Clang
Tony laying on the cold stone floor under him, Steve straddling him but it wasn't intimate or playful like usual.
Clang
Steve raising the shield above his head and slamming it down on the arc reactor, not thinking, to driven by his anger over the situation.
Clang
Tony's heartbroken cry as Steve hit him for the first time, and Steve wanting to throw up as he realized what he had just done.
"Steve?" It was Pepper that spoke, her voice unusually quiet and not at all like the fierce Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark industries. Steve blinked his eyes a few times, to snap himself out of his horrid memories. He hadn't realized his eyes had started to fill with tears. Pepper was looking at him with concern, and while Rhodey and Happy tried to look indifferent he could see the hidden worry. And Tony, Tony was just starring. If Steve didn't know Tony like the back of his hand he would say he didn't care. But Steve did know Tony, even after two years, and he could tell the man was worried. And seeing Tony's worry, over the memories Steve just had, made him want to run back to his cabin and curl under the blankets and never leave again. Because Steve didn't deserve it.
"I. Fine" Steve wasn't speaking proper English, he couldn't get his breaths out evenly. He couldn't do this.
"Hey Steve, we're going to bring the cake out now" Adia stepped in, and bless that woman. She wrapped an arm around his waist, her petite frame making her not able to reach his shoulders not that many people could, and guided him away to stand in front of the connecting kitchen doors where they would roll out the cake. He knew T'Challa had probably order the cake to be brought out earlier to save people from awkwardly standing around waiting to do something.
"Thank you" Steve whispered, and she squeezed his hip.
Everyone had gathered in a semi circle, Nat at the front holding Maria still. Would that woman ever put her down Steve did not know. He walked up to stand beside her, and she studied him as he stopped. He tried to give her a genuine smile, but who was he kidding? Nat seemed to be struggling with a decision, before turning to shout behind her.
"Stark! Get your ass up here and hold your daughter" Steve shot a panicked look at Nat, who smiled reassuringly at him.
"You don't have to talk. But give him small things. Baby steps" Steve didn't turn around to see if Tony had listened, but when the Black Widow told you to do something, you did it or feared pain. No time away from one another would allow you to forget that. Slowly, Tony moved up to stand beside him facing Nat with a worried expression. She just rolled her eyes at him.
"For gods sake Stark, I've seen you diffuse a bomb without breaking out into a sweat. Put that arm under her to support her and just bounce her on your hip to keep her content" she adjusted Maria in his arms, and Steve couldn't help but sneak glances at them from the corner of his eyes. Maria was starring at Tony with an unreadable expression on her face as she tried to figure out who the stranger was. Tony just starred back, but Steve could see the apprehension leave him and the love take over.
"Hello Maria" he murmured, and a stray tear rolled down Steve's cheek at the beautiful scene before him. For a little while he could pretend they were as perfect as this picture. Maria clapped her hands against Tony's cheeks and giggled as she repeatedly did it.
"Not to rough Maria" Steve scolded gently, and he could feel Tony lift his gaze to him, but Steve turned his attention to James who was squirming impatiently.
"Happy Birthday to you" the lights dimmed down as the biggest cake Steve had ever seen rolled out of the kitchen. It was a three tier cake, half pink and half blue and had one giant candle on top in the shape of a one.
"Happy birthday to you" everyone had joined in singing now, and the cake rolled closer to the group. Someone, he guessed it was Bucky, squeezed his shoulder from behind.
"Happy birthday dear James and Maria. Happy birthday to you" the cake rolled to a stop in front of them, and Shuri called out, loosing all patience when all she wanted to do was eat;
"Blow out the candle for them dads"
"Don't forget to make a wish. It is a tradition" Vision told them from where he stood beside Wanda, and Steve wondered if he knew that genuinely or if it was something he knew from downloading it. Steve turned to finally look at Tony, who was already starring at him. This was the first time they had made direct eye contact in two years for more then three seconds. And in two years his eyes had changed dramatically. They were empty, dull, and held no Tony Stark spark. But there was a tiny bit of something in them now, hidden behind the sadness, and Steve dared to believe it was hope.
"Don't want to keep everyone waiting" Steve whispered and Tony nodded, turning to face the candle that was starting to burn out. Steve knew what he would wish for, and he hoped that wishes really did come true from candles, and even if it wasn't his birthday. Together they blew out the candle and their audience cheered. Steve smiled clutching James tighter to him.
"The pink side is vanilla, and the blue side is chocolate" one of the waiters told them as he started to cut it, and went wide eyed as people started shouting what they wanted.
"Children please, the poor man can't understand all of you" T'Challa laughed, trying to get them to calm down. But the king was no match for a bunch of cake starved people.
"I'm a princess, and I want chocolate" Shuri demanded but it was all in good fun.
"Well Tony and I are the parents of the birthday babies, and we want chocolate for him and vanilla for me. Kids can eat off our plates" Steve told her, and momentarily froze as he realized he had ordered for his ex and volunteered him to feed Maria. But he was saved by the man himself who joined in on the fun.
"Sorry princess, dads over rule you" and oh boy, the phone did his voice no justice. Hearing his voice in person after such a long time sounded like a beautiful song. It was a bit scratchy and wasn't as upbeat, but it still sounded amazing. And he didn't correct what Steve had said, so Steve knew he must still prefer chocolate. Tony shot him a shy smile when he caught him looking, and Steve returned it.
"Did you want to eat together?" Steve blurted out before he could think it through, but he was tired of walking on egg shells. He may as well just go for it, or hold his tongue. Tony looked shocked at the question, and Steve thought he would decline but he didn't.
"Sure" he lead the way to a table, surprisingly walking well while holding a baby and a plate of cake, and Steve followed behind him. They sat at a table near the back, where people would hopefully get the hint to give them so privacy.
"If you want you can feed Maria small bites. She really likes sugary things, so she'll probably enjoy the icing" Steve told him already feeding James a small bite, and Tony nodded.
"Like this?" Tony held up a small piece on his fork and Steve nodded.
"Ya, just make sure you don't accidentally poke her mouth with the fork. Accidentally did that once and she cried for ten minutes" what a terrible memory that was. It was one of Steve's first times feeding her with a fork, and they didn't have any clean rubber spoons so he used the forks he used and accidentally poked her. She screamed for ten minutes and Steve felt like the worst father in the world.
"Poor baby" Tony teased, gently feeding her some cake. Maria's eyes widened adorably at the flavour, and opened her mouth for another which Tony very happily gave her.
"You're a natural" Steve praised and Tony blushed a little.
"It's not that hard" he shrugged.
"Don't discredit yourself. You're doing great" Tony scooped a spoonful into his mouth, and Maria looked at him as if she had betrayed him. She decided that that was unacceptable and grabbed the cake in her tiny fists and started to eat it, smearing it all over her face.
"Oh shit, no. Maria, you shouldn't" Tony looked at Steve helpless, and Steve laughed. Now he understood what everyone had seen on his face when they were first born. He thought they were exaggerating the panicked dad look, but he now realized it was actually a thing. And he could finally understand their laughter every time they saw it.
"Told ya, she's a little devil. But she's fine, one piece of cake won't hurt her. And she's getting more on the floor then in her mouth" Tony nodded and relaxed, and let Maria be.
"Sure, give me the devil child while you keep the good one" and it was true, James was patiently waiting to be fed while Maria just helped herself.
"The vanilla boys will not be associated with you chocolate devils" Steve teased and took a bite for himself. Tony looked teasingly appalled and fired back quickly.
"At least we have character, unlike you boring people" and this was so the Steve and Tony from before the accords, but it still felt natural. Like they had never missed a beat between the two of them. Steve couldn't help it, he just starred at Tony until Tony felt his gaze and saw Steve looking at him like he did years ago. And Tony panicked. Steve sensed the change, and how he must have over stepped his boundaries, but it was so hard because he just got lost in it all. He'd always get lost in Tony. He dropped his gaze, to his plate and poked at his cake, no longer interested. James huffed in annoyance, and Steve got the hint to keep feeding him.
"Hey" Tony whispered, and Steve's gaze flickered upwards for a split second before dropping again. Tony wasn't looking at him, instead keeping his gaze on Maria, so Steve kept his on James.
"We'll talk. Later. After this, just the two of us" and that was the best news Steve had received all day.