A step forward?
The party went over fairly well. James had a temper tantrum once, everyone glared at one another, and Maria got cake everywhere but with all things considered the day was pretty good. They had done presents, where everyone argued jokingly over who had gotten the best present. Between new paints, blocks, clothes, stuffed animals, a box collection of every episode of Dora (Shuri had a shit eating grin on her face as that one was unwrapped, everyone knowing how much Steve despised the show. Best present his ass) the kids would never be bored. Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy even got them some baby books. The only one who hadn't brought a present was Tony himself, which upset Steve, but he wasn't mad. He didn't want to be mad anymore. It was exhausting. T'Challa cleared his throat, which gained everyone's attention.
"Today has been a lovely day, but I must take my leave now. Anthony, you and your friends are welcome to stay for as long as you like. I can have someone show you your rooms later should you choose to stay. Steven, I will talk to you and your friends in a bit" T'Challa gave him a look that told him it was Nomad business. He nodded his head in understanding, ignoring Tony's curious gaze. T'Challa crossed his arms in the Wakandan pose, and Steve mirrored it.
"Good bye trouble makers" he smiled at the kids who were close to falling asleep and walked out of the room.
"Enjoy your Dora" Shuri grinned and Steve fake glared at her retreating back. Adia, Okoye, and Nakia followed them out after their own hugs goodbye, which just left the Avengers. Well, former avengers. Without T'Challa there was no civil ground in this room, no one to separate them from fighting.
"So, when he said he'll talk to you guys later I'm guessing it wasn't to sit down and talk about his day" Tony crossed his arms across his chest and stared at them quizzically, as if he could get them to reveal any details about what was happening. Steve bent down to start picking up the kids toys so that he could carry them back to the cabin, and it would give him an excuse to ignore Tony.
"You're right, he prefers to talk about the weather" Nat snapped back right away coming to help Steve with the toys. She winked at him when they made eye contact and he snorted. Nat's sass never failed.
"Of course, how silly of me to think otherwise. So this is where you guys have been hiding? Kitty cat had a change of heart and decided to take you guys in?" Tony continued to pry, not hiding the bitterness in his voice.
"Tony" Rhodey warned and Tony held his hands up like he was surrendering. But everyone who knew Tony knew he wouldn't stay down for long before he started firing questions again. It was one of the traits that Steve had hated in the beginning, then slowly grew to love. Now, he was starting to hate it again.
"I can carry the toys back, while you sort the kids" Bucky offered, and that was the wrong thing to say to not get Tony going again.
"Ya I see you have another arm. Surprised they would make you one" Bucky froze as Tony's words swept over him. But before Steve could jump in and defend Bucky, or possibly defend Tony from Bucky, it was Sam who jumped in.
"He's a good man. Why wouldn't they make him a new arm, after you took his old one?" Sam put himself in front of Bucky, and Steve thought that was a better shield then even his old one. Because Sam would rather drop dead before he let anyone near Bucky who had threatening intentions. The shock on everyone's face that didn't know how close Sam and Bucky had gotten almost made Steve laugh. He would have in a different scenario. Tony looked back and forth between them, trying to work something out in his head, as if they were one of his formulas.
"Are you two?" the implication was clear, and even Steve was a little curious to hear the answer. The two of them were so secretive, the only one who might know would be Nat because what didn't she know?
"No" both Sam and Bucky snapped, refusing to look at the other, but the way their cheeks both heat up told everyone all they needed to know.
"Tony" Pepper spoke gently but firmly, squeezing his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Steve tightened his grip on one of the books he was holding at seeing how close they were.
'Moron, what right do you have to be jealous?' exhaling slowly he let up on his grip, and winced a little at the finger indents left on the front cover of The Cat In The Hat.
"Talk to Steve, and then lets go" she told him, and he nodded. So, they weren't planning on staying. Probably for the best.
"Bucky, you and Sam can take the stuff back to the house, Wanda and Vision you take the kids, no broom closet, Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy I'll show you guys around to buy these two some time while they talk" Nat told everyone. No one disagreed with her plan, even if some wanted to. Like Steve for example. But he knew this was inevitable, he had to talk to Tony eventually. It's just, without anyone here, there was no one to hold the other back. Wanda walked over to Steve to pick up Maria, Vision following behind to grab James. Despite being robotic, he was actually pretty good with kids.
"Try not to play with their minds" Tony spat at Wanda, who's eyes flashed red at the implication that she would hurt either of the two.
"Enough" Steve snapped, finally at the end of his rope. Wanda's eyes turned back to their original colour, and she grabbed Maria and quickly left the room. Tony glared at Steve.
"Tony, we'll be back in a bit. You gonna be ok?" Rhodey asked looking between the two of them and Tony waved his hand dismissively. Rhodey nodded and gave a sharp look at Steve that had so much meaning in it. Don't hurt him, again. As they walked by, Happy tried to look intimidating to Steve, sizing him up. Steve simply raised his eyebrows, and Happy moved on embarrassed.
"Играй честно" (Play nice) Nat said in Russian, knowing that only he would understand.
"Не обещаю" (No promises) he told her back and she chuckled, before leading them out of the room leaving only Tony and him. He sat down knowing this was going to be a long, and angry conversation.
"You speak Russian now?" of course, that would be the first question to come to his mind.
"One of the things I've picked up on. Not fluent, but I know enough. But that's not what you really want to talk about, is it?" Tony let out a humorless chuckle.
"Always straight to the point. But you're right, that's not what I wanted to say. You still treat her like a kid"
"She may have just turned eighteen, but she's still a kid. She's my kid" he spat at Tony, who flinched a little at how angry he sounded. Getting mad seemed to be impossible to avoid no matter how hard he tried.
"She's also a weapon of mass destruction. You can't see that" so that's what they were starting with. The whole thing behind everything; the accords. This was one of the things Steve would not apologize for. He'd apologize for leaving Tony to die after almost killing him, for not telling him the truth about his parents, and not telling him about the kids. But fighting on the side he did was not to be apologized for.
"I'm not apologizing for the accords. There are things I have to apologize for, I know that. But you can preach your damn accords until you're blue in the face. You won't change my mind" Steve crossed his arms across his chest, and Tony breathed heavily through his nose. It was like a dragon, getting ready to blow fire.
"I don't agree with everything the accords said. Hell I don't even know if I agree with half the things on there. But I think they are a necessity. You say that the safest hands are our own. Have you forgotten all the harm we've caused?" Tony took a seat opposite Steve. He looked casual as he sat, but Steve could see the way his body tensed, like he was waiting for Steve to burst. He wondered if the Iron Man suit was somewhere near by, waiting to be call upon.
"People forget that even though we are advanced, we are human. We make mistakes, and ya when we do there can be more disastrous consequences than a regular person" and that was the truth. They were humans, and all humans made mistakes. He may be a super soldier but that doesn't make him flawless.
"But we could avoid those disastrous mistakes if we had control. We can't just show up to a country when we think they need us. We have to wait for them to call on us" Tony argued back, tightening his grip on the edge of the table.
"And what mistakes are you talking about? The creation of Ultron? That's one of the reasons you went along with this right? You built something that blew up in your face, and you think we all have to pay for it" Tony looked at him like he couldn't believe he had just said that, and Steve knew it was a low blow that he almost wished he could take back. He knew how much Tony blamed himself for Sokovia, and he did have the best intentions when it came to building the robotic nightmare.
"Fuck you" Tony spat at him, but Steve kept going. It was like word vomit at this point.
"And we all know how trustworthy the government is right? It's not like S.H.I.E.L.D turned out to actually be H.Y.D.R.A in disguise. They told me you saw the raft. Do you honestly think that that's right. We get dropped off in the middle of the ocean, where we'll be forgotten all because we don't want to sign the accords. Did you see Wanda? She was wearing a shock collar and straight jacket" they sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Maybe time couldn't heal all wounds. Maybe they were too broken to ever mold together again. Steve sighed, redrawing Tony's attention.
"Look, I didn't call you here to fight. And I know I do have some things to apologize for, so let's move on to that because we're getting nowhere right now. We'll never agree on the accords. I am sorry for not telling you about your parents. The second I had my suspicions I should have told you. But I thought, if I ignored it pretended I didn't see it then it wasn't real. That Bucky had nothing to do with it. But you're right, I should have told you. You have to understand though, it wasn't him Tony. I mean, yes it was him that killed Howard and your mom, but it wasn't mentally him. There's these trigger words, that if they are said to him he's just a puppet waiting for someone to control him. He's getting better, he still has his moments but he's in there and I can't give up on him" and no matter what happened with Bucky, Steve would have his back because it was the two of them till the end of the line.
"I didn't know about the trigger words. That's pretty shitty" was what Tony decided to say, and Steve couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly. He knew Tony wouldn't just forgive Bucky, possibly not ever, but maybe he could understand.
"Ya. Pretty shitty. I can't even begin to apologize enough for what happened in the Hydra base. I blacked out, just one minute we were fighting and the next I'm bringing my shield down on your reactor. Fuck, I could have killed you. And there isn't enough apologizes I could give for that" Steve bit his lip to try and distract him for the painful memories that overtook him. He really didn't remember much from the bunker. It was all blank, his anger overtaking him. He only woke up when Tony started crying.
"Never before had I ever been scared of you. Mr justice, freedom, and apple pie's. But in that moment, you terrified me. And seeing you now, I realize you still scare me" Steve bit his lip harder, not registering the pain, and he could feel it split and the taste of pennies filled his mouth.
"You scare me because I realize I don't know you. I once said you didn't have a dark side, and you tried to tell me you did. Stupid of me to not believe you" Tony had a tear slowly trailing down his cheek, and Steve wanted to wipe it but refrained. Tony was scared of him, Tony is scared of him. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to break something, he wanted to scream, he wanted he wanted he wanted.
"You do know me Tony. Everything you know about me is real. It's the real me, and I'm sorry, god I'm so fucking sorry and I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do" Steve felt his throat start to close, and it was harder to breath.
"Do I?" Tony whispered, and he looked like he didn't believe it. He didn't know how to respond, because how do you prove to your ex husband that you almost killed in a fit of rage that you were a good person still? You couldn't.
"You don't" he finally admitted, and that was honest. Tony couldn't know that he was a good person without proof, and Steve had none of that.
"I should have told you about the kids" this conversation wasn't going to get better, so he may as well just go all out now. "But I wasn't going to take the chance that you could take them from me, or that we could be tracked. We're very lucky to be here in Wakanda, but even this place isn't impenetrable. I just, I need them safe and I need them with me" because I will loose my mind. Did he have anything else he needed to apologize for? He didn't think so.
"You really thought I would take them from you?" Tony didn't sound mad as he spoke, he sounded genuinely curious.
"I'm a criminal because of those accords. You could do whatever you wanted and I probably wouldn't get a say"
"That's not what I asked. Did you think I would take them from you?" he so badly wanted to assure Tony that no he didn't think that about him, but that would be a lie and there were supposed to be no more of those.
"Yes" he whispered, and Tony nodded his head slowly lips scrunched together.
"Why?"
"Why wouldn't you" he shrugged. And really why wouldn't Tony. If Tony took them they wouldn't be secrets anymore. They could actually grow up like normal children, well as normal as one could with Tony Stark as a father, and not be worried about being tracked down one day.
"I wouldn't because I would know that they were with a loving father who was treating them right" Tony gave him a small smile, that Steve mirrored. Well he attempted to copy it, but it probably looked more strained.
"I don't know what to do now. I want you to be a part of their lives, you all deserve that. But you can't take them out into public without them becoming exposed, and it would only be a matter of time before the government finds out about them, or enemies. No one outside of Wakanda knows about them"
"We'll figure it out. I want to be a part of their lives. If I have to come to Wakanda to see them so be it. Now, what would you say if I asked to stay in Wakanda for a few days instead of going home like I planned?" Steve grinned at Tony, happy beyond words.
"That would be great"
"Ok. I'm going to go find my friends, and tell them the change of plans. Pepper and Happy will probably go home, but Rhodey might stay. We'll tour the palace, I hear the princess has a lab that's supposedly better then mine. Doubt it. You should go have that meeting with King kitten, and then after maybe you can take me to your house" Tony stood up and pat him on the shoulder before making his leave.
"Oh, and Steve?" Tony paused in the doorway, and Steve turned his head to stare at him, an eyebrow raised.
"Language" Tony winked and left. And in that moment Steve knew that no matter what the future held, no matter what happened now, they'd be ok.