Peter...It's 1am
Peter Created a server
Peter named the server: It’s 1 am
Peter invited Everyone
Peter: Hi
Peter: It’s 1am
Tony: Peter, what the fuck are you still doing up?
Peter: What are you still doing up?
Tony: I’m an adult, I do as I damn well please
Steve: Congratulations, Peter
Steve: You woke the beast
Tony: Nat?
Steve: No
Steve: Carol
Carol:inhales
Peter: Oh, fuck
Carol: PETERWHYTHEFUCKISMYPHONEGOINGOFAT1AMJFSFU
Nat: Carol, why are you screaming
Wanda: Yes, who died?
Tony: Peter woke her up
Shuri: Peter woke us all up
Bruce: It's day time for you?
Shuri: I was napping
Bruce: Oh
Strange: Peter, go back to sleep
Loki: Yes, you’ve sill yet to explain why you are even up at this ungodly hour
Thor: Why is this specific hour so ungodly?
Loki: Because, I can’t look fabulous all the time brother.
Peter: jsdhgfgh I was talking to spoopy internet frems
Nat: WHO
Carol: WHO ARE WE FIGHTING
Wanda: WHO ARE WE STALKING
Shuri: Wait, you guys stalk me? I’m one of his internet friends?
Carol: You don’t count, you’re practically his sister
Nat: Plus, we know you
Peter: Please don’t scare my internet friends away
Peter: We were having a great conversation about coloring books and pizza toppings
Tony: Why pizza toppings?
Peter: Because
Peter: Pizza toppings determine who your friends are
Carol: This is so true
Steve: Was that because I said I didn’t want to eat your goddamn fruit loop pizza?
Carol: Yes
Steve: Carol, you were fucking drunk. Do you know what was on that shit?
Carol: You refused to eat it and that’s all I’m focused on
Clint: I heard pizza. I have been summoned
Sam: Fuck you guys, now I’m hungry
Bucky: New mission
Bucky: Protect baby Peter from scary internet people
Peter: They’re not scary
Peter: They like coloring books and apple juice.
Peter: And puppies
Thor: I like puppies
Nat: I’m still going to stalk them
Peter: I shall prove it
Peter invited Thanos
Peter invited Hela
Peter invited Ultron
Peter Invited Hela
Peter Invited Doom
Peter Invited Dormammu
Peter invited Ronan
Thanos: Why are we in your avengers group chat?
Doom: Yes, they’re not cool enough to hang with us
Tony: Excuse you
Peter: They thought you were scary internet people
Hela: Us? Fearsome destroyers of the internet?
Ronan: I’m offended
Ultron: I mean, I don't blame them. The internet is a scary place
Dormammu: Is it a crime to have a conversation about apple juice at 1am Peter time?
Carol: sjghfgh did he just say “Peter time”?
Nat: oml he did
Wanda: I stan
Clint: Okay, but like, we never finished that conversation about pizza
Nat: Clint, we are not ordering pizza at 1am
Clint: It’s actually closer to 2am now...
Clint: so…
Carol: I support this 2am pizza ordering
Thanos: Get pineapple
Carol:gasps
Carol: I’ve found another
Wanda: Well, now I’m hungry too
Nat: I think the real question is who the fuck is going to get outta bed at 2 am to go get it?
Carol: Not it
Nat: Not it
Wanda: not it
Bucky: Not it
Steve: Not it
Carol: Okay now nobody else answer
Tony: sjdksj
Steve: Why, Carol?
Carol: Because it’s funny
Steve: Well, now that means I have to get up and leave you
Steve: All alone
Steve: In the dark
Steve: …..
Carol: …..
Carol: I call for a revote
Nat: lol not it
Tony: Not it
Bruce: Not it
Wanda: Not it
Carol: Not it
Strange: Not it
Bucky: ….
Sam: ….
Strange: ….
Strange: You guys suck
Strange: I’m not going
Tony: Rules are rules, Magic Man
Clint: You gotta get get three cheese, three hawaiian, and three pepperoni
Strange: How many people are we feeding?
Clint: Me, bitch
Wanda: Excuse you, but we all get some
Strange: Still not going
Thanos: sjdhdhg y’all bicker so much
Doom: I volunteer as tribute to go get the pizza if young Peter will be sufficed
Peter: See? Not scary
Clint: I, too, will becoming on this pilgrimage to pizza.
Strange: Thank God
Tony: Um, I do not approve of a notorious super villain wandering about my house at 2am?
Clint: Shhhhh
Clint: It’s for the p i z z a
Clint: @Doom To the Bird-Bus
Doom: It’s pizza time
Clint: Where are you? I’ll come swoop you up
Doom: <sent location>
Bruce: What are you doing in New York?
Bruce: You have a country to run?
Peter: sksksks they’re here to visit me
Nat: PETER, WTF, WHY?!
Nat: Except you, Hela, you’re cool
Hela: 🖤
Nat: 🖤
Peter: Because
Peter: Hela promised she’d show me her Asgardian coloring books and then the rest of them wanted to come too.
Thor: ….
Loki: ….
Loki: Did you just say...
Loki: Coloring books?
Hela: Peter, how dare you expose me like this?
Ultron: And I made cookies, so naturally I had to bring some for Peter
Wanda: Nothing about you is natural
Ultron: Rood
Thanos: And we had to bring Peter his space apple juice
Ronan: Yes, do you have any idea how long it takes to make that shit?
Carol: dfhgdj The Mighty Kree Commander makes apple juice?
Peter: He has a whole apple farm
Tony: oml this is wonderful
Ronan: Peter, you really need to stop exposing people
Tony: No, no
Tony: Please, continue
Nat: I think the real question is, how did Peter manage to domesticate some of the universe’s most feared creatures?
Clint: He’s Peter
Clint: How does he manage to do anything?
Nat: CLINT, NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING
Doom: We’re not, we’re here
Wanda: P I Z Z A T I M E
Peter: Dad, can my friends come for pizza?
Tony: ….
Peter: Pleeeeeeeeeeease
Tony: Fine
Thanos: Buckle up, boys
Thanos: And girl
Dormammu: We’re storming the Avengers Compound
Strange: This can’t end well
Strange: Dormammu
Strange: Don’t make me come to bargain
Dormammu: hisss
Clint: We picked up more friends on the way
Scott: Hi, I was woken up at 2am for with the promise of pizza
Hope: I was forced into this
Carol: We all were, its okay
Nat: Just remember that there’s pizza on the way
Hope: That’s literally the only reason Scott is still alive right now
Wanda: jdhkdh
Hela: We love a girl with priorities
Hope: Hi, Hela
Hela: Hi, Hope
Thanos: We have pulled up to the club
Peter:THEY SEE ME ROLLIN’!
Ronan:THEY HATIN’!
Ultron: I come bearing cookies
Ronan: We come bearing Apple Juice
Hela: I come bearing coloring books
Loki: L e a v e
Hela: Ew, a vermin
Loki: Ew, my sister
Clint: We have arrived with the pizza
Doom: At 2:30am Peter time
Doom: We have done well, Bird-Man
Wanda: I will never not be over “Peter time”
Vision: That’s not a thing?
Wanda: IT IS NOW
Steve: Holy Fuck, how much pizza did you get?
Clint: Enough to sustain us
Tony: And what pizza place was even open at 2am?
Clint: …..
Doom: …..
Scott: …..
Hope: I had no part in this
Tony: You stole the pizza, didn’t you?
Clint: Look, the important thing is that we got pizza
Sam: Clint
Sam: You are a dumbass
Bucky: Yeah, but pizza
Sam: No, he’s still a dumbass
Clint: I side with Bucky
Carol: I don’t care where its from, I just want pizza
Steve: Is food the only thing you care about?
Carol: No
Carol: I care about you occasionally
Carol: And the cat
Carol: I care very much about the cat
Nat: lol
Nat: Cat > Steve
Steve: Thank you, Natasha, for pointing that out
Nat: 😊
Hela: I stand corrected
Hela: Pineapple on pizza is not an abomination
Peter: See?
Hope: No, it’s still gross
Carol: To each their own
Steve: I thought pizza toppings determined who your friends are
Carol: That rule only applies to certain people
Steve: Certain people meaning me?
Carol: My smart boi
Dormammu: You two have the strangest relationship I have ever seen
Sam: Its okay, man, nobody understands it
Ronan: I have decided that I like pizza
Ronan: I think I shall become a pizza farmer too
Carol: Ronan, that’s not-
Tony: No, no, its okay
Tony: Let him have his moment
Bruce: lol
Peter: Can I come visit your pizza farm?
Ronan: Of course
Thanos: We should establish pizza farms throughout the universe
Nat: oml
Nat: Should we tell them?
Bruce: …
Bruce: Nah
Tony: Now as wonderful as this 2am pizza party/heist has been
Tony: Peter, you need to go the fuck to sleep