The Avengers Terrorize Rural Alaska
Carol Created a Server
Carol named the Server: I require attention
Carol invited Steve
Carol:inhales
Steve: Oh boy
Steve: What now?
Carol: I require attention
Steve: I’m literally across the country
Steve: Doing YOUR job
Steve: I don’t know what you expect of me
Carol: 👀
Carol: It’s not my fault fury sent me to deal with Kree Chaos
Carol: But now I have the sudden motivation to bother you
Steve: …..
Carol:Don’t you forget about me
Steve: I assure you there is no way I would forget about you🙂
Carol: I would be much offend if you did
Steve: You’re much offend when I steal your froot loops so….
Steve: What else is new?
Carol: Listen, Stove, the loops are sacred, we’ve been over this
Steve: Yes, I know, You’ve addicted me to them. The other Holiday Inn guests were quite surprised to see me eating them this morning
Steve: I’m fairly certain there are photos on TMZ of it
Carol: I have corrupted another
Steve: That was before the loops
Carol: Also may or may not have sent those photos to Nat👀
Steve: I’m not surprised
Carol: Wanda says she’s going to frame them around the house
Carol: I wouldn’t put it past her
Steve: Better than photos of Tony doing backflips off the Empire State Building
Steve: By the way, he also told me that the compound airspace passcode has changed
Carol: 100% played no part in that👀
Steve: Oh and Peter nearly let it slip to the media about…us
Carol: Fuckin kids, man
Steve: So any extra press questions are his fault
Carol: 👀
Carol: Eh, I’ll still find someway to make it your fault
Carol: Just for fun🙃
Steve: I can handle that
Steve: Somehow I don’t think your punishment will be too bad
Carol: You have no idea what I’m capable of sir👀
Steve: Actually…
Steve: Blowing up a Kree warship was kinda high up there
Carol:slinks into the corner
Carol: I’ll think of something…
Steve: You always do, Love
Carol:inhales
Carol:not the name you heathen
Carol:my emotions cannot contain themselves
Carol:retreats farther into the shadows
Steve: But…you liked that name when…Oh, Bruce is telling me I can’t finish that sentence
Carol: 👀
Carol: You must choose your words more carefully, Captain
Steve: I’ll say. The U.N. grills me more than they do you
Carol: That’s because they know I don’t give one fuck two fuck red fuck blue fuck
Steve: If they mention Sokovia one more time, I won’t either
Steve: Speaking of which, there’s this show that Bruce recommended about some nuclear accident from the 80’s. Churn Noble
Steve: Oh whoops
Steve: Chernobyl
Carol: lol Wanda watches that
Steve: Soviet and nuclear energy, what could go wrong?
Carol: Nat says she is exhibit A
Steve: Wait, does she have superpowers that I don’t know about
Steve: I’m pretty sure powerful batteries and engines are the reason the Avengers even exist
Carol: EXCUSE ME
Carol: FURY FORMED THE AVENGERS BECUSE OF ME, DUMBASS
Steve: djsbgkelhejfb
Steve: I’m captain americaaa and I love captain maefrjel
Carol: I…
Steve: Sorry. Parker stole my phone
Carol: That kid
Steve: lol but Fury kick started it when Tony shoved blue lava in his chest
Tony joined the Server
Tony invited Everyone
Tony: It’s more than just blue lava, Captain
Steve: I’m aware Tony, I’m being facetious
Tony: Oh, look, the old man can use big boy words
Carol: lol
Steve: You’re five feet away from me, come and say it to my face
Steve: Wait, lol no not yet
Steve: The Prime Minister wants a word
Carol: Steve, you’re old
Bruce: Steve, I saw what you were typing and I’m really damn glad you didn’t send it
Carol: …
Carol: Halp, I’ve been abandoned
Wanda: DIBS
Nat: lmao, Wanda
Steve: Incorrect
Tony: The Captain and I were only a minute Danvers
Nat: How dare you abandon our precious Carol?!
Steve: She’s the one who’s five systems away
Steve: I’ll be back at the compound this afternoon
Steve: At ease, Natasha
Carol: hjsfs fight me, Steve, Imma be back tomorrow, you needy bitch
Carol: Fucking Nebula
Carol invited the Guardians
Carol: Ur not funny
Nebula: I’m hilarious
Steve: hahahaha
Carol: Paws off my phone
Tony: Nebula, you’re godmother to my children
Nebula has been disconnected
Tony: No, no, no
Tony: No, no
Carol: Yes
Tony invited Nebula
Nebula: I prevail
Carol: 👀
Carol: Gamora, help, I’m being attacked
Gamora: 👀
Steve: Because she totally can’t stand up for herself
Gamora: I have the big grape on speed dial
Steve: No you don’t, Gamora
Gamora: BEWARE
Carol: lol it’s okay, I’ll just go back to earth and kick his ass myself
Steve: Thor, I need to borrow your hammer again
Thor: Will you promise to bring it back?
Steve: Yes
Carol: Don’t trust the pretty man, Thor
Carol: He lies
Steve: I haven’t lied since I was 15
Tony: That’s a lie
Carol: See what I have to deal with?
Wanda: whispers
Wanda: I still call dibs
Vision: 👀
Steve: Dibs denied
Vision: I give up at this point
Steve: I second
Carol: 👀
Wanda: lol no, Vis, I promise I love you
Bucky: Damn, why is everyone so thirsty for Carol?
Nat: lmao I think it’s just Wanda
Wanda: 🙃
Thor: It is not
Nat: Thor you’re to pure for that kind of thirst
Sam: Nah fam, Queen of Asgard was asking my man all about her at the conference last night
Carol: 👀
Steve: Really, Sam?
Nat: Stebe, you better watch your woman
Bruce invited Valkyrie
Bruce: See?
Wanda: Get in line, Val
Valkyrie: Beg your pardon, Maximoff?
Valkyrie has been disconnected
Steve: Bruce, why?
Nat: lol
Bruce: I am a scientist. Inherently, when I see two combustible, elements I must see what happens when they collide
Tony: And this is why we’re best friends, Banner
Bucky: Stebe, you better take your woman and run
Steve: On your left
Carol: lol y’all can’t get me; I’m in space
Steve: Dispute
Gamora: lmao if anything, I have dibs
Steve: Doctor, I need a portal
Strange: I charge by distance now
Steve: How much?
Steve: This one's worth it
Gamora: Nebula, go faster
Gamora: They coming for Carol
Nebula: Gotta go fast
Carol: lol I’m being abducted by aliens
Strange: 150
Steve: Done
Steve: Beam me up
Carol: The fuck?
Steve: INSIDE THE SHIP! INSIDE THE SHIP!
Strange: Whoops
Nebula: Shit
Steve: Christ, Doctor!
Nebula: Hide the hostage
Steve: I may not have my shield
Steve: But none of you can stop me
Wanda: lol pass the popcorn
Carol: I am amused
Gamora: Nebula, give me the blasters
Steve: I’m not scared of you, Greenie
Star-lord: Why does the scanner show there’s an intruder aboard?
Stor-lord: And wtf is this chat?
Steve: Quill, it’s just me. Chill
Star-lord: I barely know you, Rogers. How do I know your intentions are good?
Gamora: He wants to steal Carol
Steve: I’m here for my Carol
Nebula: lol he really is a needy bitch
Carol: hdgkjs I’m WHEEZING
Peter: Steve, some important figures want to speak to you…
Steve: I’m busy
Tony: I got it covered
Carol: Nebula, I cannot contain my laughter
Steve: Aha
Steve: I know that laugh anywhere
Carol: Fuck
Star-lord: Don’t break the ship please
Nebula: Rip.
Gamora: New hiding spot
Steve: Tell that to the cosmic superhero running across the upper deck
Steve: There you are
Carol: Nebula, help
Carol: I’ve been cornered
Steve: Nope
Steve: Gotcha
Steve: Strange, portal
Strange: You owe me double
Carol: NEBULA, I’M BEING STOLEN!
Gamora: I’LL SAVE YOU
Steve: Strange, NOW!
Strange: Fine
Nebula: Welp
Gamora: ….
Nebula: Like I said, he’s a needy bitch
Steve: …..
Steve: Wait, Doc, where’d you put us?
Carol: The hell?
Strange: Alaska. Anchorage, to be exact. Outside some sort of sushi joint
Strange: You two need a date or something
Steve: I hate sushi
Strange: That sounds like you problem, Captain
Nat: lol
Nat: I’m dyin
Nat: That’s gold
Strange: You didn’t pay me to scour restaurant listings
Carol:whispers
Carol:Nebula, come save me
Nebula:whispers
Nebula:too lazy
Steve: Carol, you can fly faster than any ship
Steve: If you really didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be here🙂
Tony: Check, and mate. Nice one, Steve
Carol: Ahem
Carol: You have me in a death grip if you hadn’t noticed
Steve: You’ve stopped a punch from a titan, I think super soldier serum is slightly below your pay grade
Carol: Guess I’ll just go then…
Steve: Ow
Steve: That was rude
Carol: hehehe
Carol: I’m free!
Steve: And now I’m here
Steve: In Alaska
Steve: Alone
Steve: Without a sweater
Carol: Stop guilt tripping me, you heathen
Steve: I just wanted a date
Steve: But I guess that’s too much to ask.......
Carol: ……
Carol: Dude, you hate sushi
Carol: So do I
Carol: Stop playing with my emotions
Peter:QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART!
Steve: There’s a pizza joint down the road
Carol: 👀
Wanda: I’ll do you one better
Wanda: I have cats
Carol: 👀👀👀
Drax: I’ll do you one better! I DON’T have cats
Carol: Cats…👀
Nat: lol
Nat: Carol weighing her options
Steve: But, I guess I’ll have to go alone
Carol: lol
Carol: I’m literally right around the corner
Steve: Oh
Carol: Did you really think I’d leave you there?
Steve: Bruce says yes
Carol: Bruce can fuck off
Bruce: No, no, that’s not what I said
Nat: Be nice to Bruce
Nat: He is soft, and pure, and I love him
Bruce: That is NOT what I said
Steve: But you did
Carol: Steve, stop being a jerk to Bruce
Steve: I’m not! That’s what he said!
Bruce: Is not
Steve: Is
Bruce: Not
Carol: Stop being a child, that’s Peter’s job
Tony: lol, Steve, you do realize that you have just blown off Russia and France for Carol
Tony: And now Bruce
Tony: I’m disappointed
Carol: What can I say?
Carol: I corrupt every one I meet
Nat: lol joke’s on you I was already corrupted
Bucky: Yeah, get in line
Carol: Good, God you guys, How many lines are there?
Wanda: Many
Vision: About 23 at my last count
Nat: 👀
Nat: Carol may or may not be on my list
Carol: I’d better fuckin be on your list, Natasha
Wanda: lol
Bucky: What even is your friendship?
Steve: @Tony Just for that, no pizza for you
Nat: Carol is more important, leave her be
Wanda: Such a protective wife, we stan
Carol: lol
Carol: steeeeeeebeeeeeeee
Steve: What?
Carol: Where did you goooooo?
Steve: Went back inside for the pizza
Wanda: Quick, Carol! Make your escape!
Star-lord: Ahem
Star-lord: Alaska is much different than I thought it would be
Steve: Oh no
Nebula: Ehehehe
Steve: Doctor!
Strange: No
Carol: lol you guys are so extra
Nebula: I tried to stop her
Gamora: No, you didn’t
Nebula: lol no, I didn’t
Steve: Why?
Nebula: Time to swoop in and cause chaos somewhere
Star-Lord: Oh Sweet! Dairy Queen is still around!
Nebula: I have located my best friend
Carol: lmao
Carol: Reunited at last
Steve: Really? In the middle of a rural pizzeria in Alaska? Your robotic face has to pop in?
Nebula: Yes
Gamora: Quick! Get her before he finds us!
Steve: I’m four feet away
Gamora: Run! Run! Run!
Nebula: But leave the idiots
Steve: Not the pizza too!
Carol: hehe
Carol: You want it? Ya better come and get it from my cold dead hands
Steve: You’re on, Captain
Nat: Oof
Nat: Tony can you live stream this?
Tony: On it
Tony: Activating CapCam
Steve: What?
Tony: I have eyes everywhere
Gamora: Shit! He’s coming after us!
Nebula: You’re so awful to your male companions
Nebula: I love it
Rhodey: @Star-Lord Why did you get ice cream? It’s Alaska
Star-Lord: I haven’t had dairy queen since I was six. Let me live
Carol: Shit
Nebula: Rip
Carol: I have been contained
Wanda: Lol, Carol, you’re shit at this
Tony: She’s weak for her stove
Carol: Fuck you, Wanda
Wanda: Ok
Peter: He melts her nonexistent heart
Peter: And then some
Wanda: lol
Steve: Do I want to know?
Carol: In other words, you’re really warm and I’m really cold
Nat: Good save, Carol
Steve: Well that’s true
Steve: I’ll always keep you warm
Nebula: Is it normal for one’s heart to be melting?
Gamora: I’d say so
Star-Lord: Shit, Gamora, you say something like that to me, I’d melt too
Gamora: Don’t push your luck
Star-Lord: Yes ma’am
Vision: Whipped
Tony: I…
Gamora: lol
Tony: I’m speechless
Tony: Vision. wth?
Wanda: You’re one to talk. Vis.
Vision: I believe, my dear Wanda, that Captain Rogers is far worse than I
Steve: Not yet
Bucky: Oh, no, Steve
Bucky: You’re so much worse
Carol: lol
Steve: At least I have Carol after all this
Bucky: Not if you destroy her loops again
Nat: Or eat her pasta
Wanda: Or deny her cats
Steve: I have been allowed to eat her pasta, I value loops like she does, and I’ve yet to deny her a cat
Carol: See? I’ve trained him well
Vision:whipping noise
Wanda: lol, Vis, I can’t
Vision: I am proud that I learned to use that me-me properly
Tony: ?
Nat:chokes
Nat:wheeze
Nat: I can’t with you guys today
Gamora: shhhhhhhhhhhh
Gamora: Don’t disturb the cuteness
Nebula: You’re such a sap
Gamora: You can’t tell me that’s not cute
Gamora: Look at them all cuddled together
Nebula: lol
Nebula: Gamora’s fucking gone
Nebula: aaaand so is Carol
Steve: You scared her off
Steve: Thanks
Nebula: Nice going, Gamora
Gamora: I was just stating the obvious
Carol: Gamora, turn around
Gamora: And now I have a face full of snow
Carol: Price paid
Tony:applause
Gamora: I’ll let you have that, Carol
Gamora: But my Ravioli is still superior to your spaghetti
Carol: How dare you
Gamora: Oh, I dare
Steve: Wait, Carol, put the snow down, she’s unarmed
Carol: That is the least of my concerns
Carol: I must teach this heathen a lesson
Bucky: Alright, all F’s in the chat boys
Carol: 👀
Sam: F
Peter: F
Tony: F
Steve: ……F
Carol: The list of people I have to end today just keeps getting longer
Steve: Well, this is intense
Steve: I’m going back for more pizza
Carol: Pizza?
Carol: I like pizza
Carol: And I like Stove
Carol: I’m coming with
Steve: Oh
Steve: Alright
Nat: And just like that Steve has managed to turn Carol into a literal kitten
Tony: Now, ain’t that cute
Carol:hisssss
Peter: lol Tony this livestream better be private
Peter: Cuz them holding hands walking down the street will end the world
Tony: Oh. Y’all wanted private?
Wanda: lol
Tony: I was trying the whole twitch thing out
Tony: Gotta expand our medias
Peter: What, instant gram wasn’t enough?😂
Steve: …..
Steve: Really, Peter?
Bucky: F
Sam: F
Peter: F
Wanda: F
Nat: F
Carol: …….
Tony: F
Carol: lmao
Steve: ……..
Carol: Tony, that’s hilarious
Carol: But also I’m going to end you for it
Tony: ……..
Tony: I’m in danger
Nebula: Yes