I.
"I chose green lizard!" Thor shouts as he rapidly presses the button on the Wii remote when the selection screen pops up.
"Aw, come on!" Clint whines while Natasha quickly picks her favorite character, Toad.
Their pouty-faced teammate sullenly chooses Luigi. "First my kids, now Thor. I never get to play Yoshi," he mutters under his breath so only Natasha can hear him.
Sending him a smirk, her partner elbows her while Bruce finally selects Bowser. "What? I have some things in common with the guy." The scientist defends his option when his teammates raise an eyebrow.
"Whatever, let's just play." Clint looks at Natasha who's in charge of picking.
The race selection screen pops up and her sensor hovers across the screen as she tries to pick, before a devilish grin creeps onto her face. "Hey, let's say who wins this race gets to pick their character first next time."
Clint meets her eyes, catching onto her ploy. "Let's do it."
Predictably, Thor nods along, eager at the chance for competition while Bruce just shrugs carelessly. The spies' matching grins grow, knowing that the only true competition will be each other since Thor was terrible at any Earth video game while Bruce simply didn't care enough to try.
"Let's make it interesting though. What will the loser have to do?" Clint asks her.
"Will have to do the Hulk's laundry for a month."
"It's on."
"Hey, don't I get an opinion about that." Bruce protests, but Natasha cuts him off. "Don't worry about it, I'm gonna wipe Clint so far off the track he'll never be able to catch up."
"Oh, it's on, Tasha." Her partner readies his thumbs over the controller, "It's on."
She laughs as she moves her sensor over to the bottom right corner of the screen, selecting Rainbow Road. Thor copies Clint's position while she just sends a "don't worry" smile to Bruce. As the sequence begins to countdown, she presses her thumb down just after two for the extra boost and they're off!
She's expertly guiding her kart around the turns and dodging the attempts of her fellow players to knock her off the road when someone shoots past her. Toad's kart spins out of control, barely hanging on the edge of the track as more computer-generated characters fly by. Checking the screen, surprise fills her when she sees it was Yoshi.
Sending a suspicious glance at Thor, who is concentrating deeply on pegging the characters around him with turtle shells, Natasha is amazed at his skill. Someone's been practicing, narrowing her eyes in determination, she takes off again.
Once she gets close to Thor's avatar again, he sends a turtle shell her way which she barely dodges as he flies over a speed bump, rapidly shaking his Wii remote for the extra burst of speed. He sends her a smirk from the other side of the living room as she tries again.
"Hey, watch it!" Clint says when Toad almost runs into Luigi after getting hit with a banana peel this time.
"I'm trying, but I can't get past Thor." She grinds her teeth in frustration when she tries again. Toad is in second while Yoshi is in first and they're on their last lap. Who knew Thor was this good?
This time as she tries to edge around his character using her last mushroom, the small green lizard pushes her off the track and into a fireball launching into space. A growl escapes her throat as other the other computer-generated characters pass her while the stupid cloud turtle takes forever to drop her back on the track.
Clint has the audacity to laugh at her reaction when Thor does the same to him. "Hey!" The archer protests while Natasha takes the opportunity to pass him with glee. Thor lets out a victorious roar as his character crosses the finish line first and Bruce smiles smugly as his crosses over in fourth, somehow able to slip by in the chaos.
Natasha's not happy about coming in eighth place but knows it's better than Clint's place of eleventh. Bruce turns to him, "I use lavender scented detergent. Makes everything smell better."
Clint grumbles under his breath, "When did Thor become so good at Mario Kart?"
"He's a worthy opponent," Natasha jokes. She meets Thor's blue eyes as she adds, "Next time Tony makes us play teams, you're on mine."
The Asgardian smiles, "That is kind of you, Lady Natasha. Now, what shall we bet on for the next round?"
"Whoever can knock Clint off the track the most wins first pick when we order out next."
Bruce and Thor agree eagerly while Clint complains with a sharp, "Hey!"
II.
"Lady Natasha." His manner is faltering as he approaches.
"Lord Thor." Her tone teasing and she flashes him a friendly smile as she throws his formality back at him.
He sits across from her, his expression baffled. She meets his eyes, watching the swirl of questions resting on his lips. A few moments pass before he asks, "Why did you decline the chance to see if you are worthy?"
Her brow scrunches up before recognition dawns in her eyes, recalling the party two weeks ago and the hammer that stayed glued to the coffee table despite Tony's best efforts.
"It's just not a question I need answered. That's all." She raised her spoon to her mouth, taking a bite of her Cheerios.
"Do you not feel worthy?" The God of Thunder asks, his sky-colored eyes still filled with puzzlement.
Taking a moment to swallow, she quickly shakes her head. "It's not that. I just don't want to find out."
"I still do not understand. The others took their chance. Would you not like to see if you are fit to rule Asgard?" He asks as she took another mouthful.
"Nmph." She mumbles, before shaking her head. She lays down her spoon, absolving herself to finish her soggy breakfast after this strange interrogation is over. "I know how tempting power like that can be, so I avoid it as much as I can."
"Why do you say that?" The god's voice rumbles through the empty kitchen.
She pauses for a moment, "I've seen how corrupted people can become when trying to achieve that sort of power and the lengths they go to maintain it. I've been sent to kill by people like that. The power messes with people's minds, and I've had my mind messed with enough for a lifetime, so I'd rather not take any chance to be near something like that, however small."
Thor frowns at this. "You think of me as corrupt?"
Realizing her faux pas, she quickly says, "No! Of course not!"
The God of Thunder's face is still set in a frown. "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry, Thor. You're nothing like the people I used to work for, trust me on that. I should have explained it better: I see what Mjölnir represents as a strong reminder of my past, and who I used to work for. I promised myself I would never do anything for power like that, even if it is just a party game."
Natasha swallows as flashes came across her mind. (A small brown-eyed girl reflected the horror pooling in Natalia's stomach as her small hands grasped at the seeping blood from her chest wound. Drops of red in the snow, the crunch of the body falling, and the eternal screams that even death couldn't silence were the only signs she had been there.) She wipes them away, allowing only a slight tremor out to show Thor her seriousness.
("Something is terrifyingly bad if Nat's afraid," Clint once told them.)
"You know what an honor it is to be given such power and you use it for good. You use it to protect people in need, and to stop others from trying to become too powerful as well."
She reaches her hand over to grasp the god's forearm. "I am sorry."
A minute passes as Natasha watches his emotions carefully before he selects a neutral one. Surprising her with a blinding grin, he says. "It is alright, Lady Natasha. Thank you for your kind words. I have come to…" he paused for a moment, his eyes hinting at embarrassment. "…doubt myself quite recently. You have helped me greatly."
He grasps her hand in a firm shake before striding off, pleasure at the Lady Natasha's confidence in him evident.
She watches him walk away, confusion still residing in her at the uncharacteristic conversation she just had, but she turns to finish her breakfast without dwelling on it too much.
III.
"Miss Romanoff!" A reporter shouts, waving their pen in the air obnoxiously. Agent Romanoff, she snidely corrects him in her head as she reluctantly gestures for him to continue.
A greying-haired man, his eyes pierce hers as he talks, "I was really impressed with your performance in the battle in New York. I'm curious though, with the way you were able to fight despite your hair being down, is that how you usually fight? Or did you not have time to pull it back?"
The second he opened his mouth, Natasha knew it wasn't going to be a good question, but this? She was ready to punch his teeth out, already gripping the edges of her chair in a death grip and uncrossing her legs; Clint and Tony sit to her right, both with shit-eating grins on their faces, eager to see her rip this reporter apart.
Sucking in a quick breath, she tries very hard to remember her SHIELD training from Coulson: You can't just go around killing people who piss you off, Romanoff. You need to have self-control. And every ounce of her being is going into keeping her body from springing on the man.
Her face is set in an icy glare, which seems to not deter the reporter as he continues, thinking she wants more of an elaboration (that is the last thing she wants). "And how do you always keep it so voluminous? What kind of brand of shampoo do you use?"
Her best friend tries to hide his snickers behind his hand but fails spectacularly as Thor shoots him a confused look, clearly not understanding what is wrong. As Natasha grits her teeth, hearing the grinding in her skull, the Asgardian pipes up, "You wish to know our routine of care?"
The reporter begins to shake his head, but Thor plows on forward still very much oblivious. "I begin by dampening it before using what you Midgardians call 'shampoo'. The one that gets bubbly when you rub it in your hair." He mimics washing his hair with both hands as he continues, "I lather it for five minutes before rinsing it, and I'm sure I never use what the proper amount is. A 'dime' is not a measurement I'm familiar with."
As her teammate explains further, Natasha finds a smile growing on her face as the reporter begins to gap wordlessly as Thor steals the attention away from her. He tries to interrupt the god but fails as Thor switches into his conditioning routine. Clint and Tony have lost their cool by now, doubling over in laughter while a lot of other reporters in the crowd join in. Even Bruce and Steve crack a grin.
"And I don't wash it for at least ten minutes, and I brush it to make sure the conditioner has soaked fully into my hair to make sure it works," Thor keeps going eagerly. His blue eyes twinkle excitedly as he still animatedly acts out his shower routine for the cameras. Natasha is sure this is going to be one of the top news stories tomorrow with ridiculous headlines.
Once the Asgardian Prince finally finishes, the reporter who originally asked the question stays silent for the rest of the press conference to Natasha's delight. She's even more excited the next morning to wake up to Thor's face plastered all over the internet and the headlines the interview produced.
The God of Thunder or the God of Hair?
How Thor manages to look so good. His secret ingredient: his hair!
Need fresh tips on how to look amazing? Ask the Asgardian Prince himself!