There is no ease
My apology drawing link
https://grayweathersby.tumblr.com/post/647886542136901632
January 16th
“Hey Buck, people are starting to show up.” Steve said, poking his head around his bedroom door.
Bucky was standing in Steve’s room, smoothing his loose black sweater down in front of the Alpha’s mirror.
Sarah said they could throw the baby shower at her house, seeing as she had the most living room space. Her and Winnie had taken it upon themselves to decorate and cater the whole shower, not to mention the presents they bought for the baby. Steve and Bucky were truly blessed to have such amazing ladies in their lives.
Bucky had been getting ready in Steve’s room while the Alpha helped set up tables and hang balloons downstairs, and the blond couldn’t help but smile as he laid eyes on his Omega.
Though he was only a month away from birthing their little angel, Bucky carried his new weight with grace and beauty. Steve would never get tired of being able to look at Bucky and knowing they belonged to each other, finally. All his life he’d known they were destined for each other, in whatever way life decided. Whether as friends, or partners he didn’t know, but together none the less.
Now, the thought of having Bucky as anything other than his whole world kind of terrified him.
Bucky lifted his eyes, looking at Steve through his reflection. “Do I need to come down yet?”
Steve shook his head. “You’ve probably still got a few minutes, you need anything?”
Bucky looked away, face a little more blank than Steve was expecting.
“No, I’m fine.” The Omega turned around, moving past Steve and down the hall as he said. “I’m just gonna pee, I’ll meet you downstairs.”
“Oka-“ Steve started, only to have the bathroom door shut before he could finish.
Huh, he hoped nothing was wrong.
.............
“Remind me again why you’re having a gender reveal at the baby show? Aren’t you supposed to do that way before so people can get the right presents?” Natasha whispered to Steve, leaning from her chair so the Alpha could hear her.
Steve leaned in as well, eyes on the seat next to him where Bucky sat, opening presents from friends and family.
“The doctor couldn’t get a clear image at the sonogram so they had to do a blood test, and the results didn’t come in until yesterday.”
Nat nodded, eyes also on the expecting Omega. “He didn’t seem very... excited when I talked to him the other day.” She said.
Steve hummed. “Yeah, I kinda had to talk him into it.”
“Oh, yeah?” Was all she said, leaning back in her chair.
Steve would continue with the conversation, but one look at Natasha’s face had him rethinking that. He wasn’t sure why she looked so annoyed, but he’d rather not think about that right now.
He refocused his attention to Bucky, the Omega thanking his aunt for a quilted baby blanket.
Steve smiled, rubbing his hand along Bucky’s back.
That was, until the Omega smoothly reached for his hand, bringing it to rest back on the blonds lap.
Steve stared at his open palm.
Bucky never refused Steve’s touches, not once since their relationship started had he pushed Steve away. And to see him just continue on like nothing happened, laughing along with everyone else about how many diapers they’re gonna go through in the first week.
That settled it, Bucky’s mad, about... something.
“Okay, I’m gonna put the cake on the table, tell James we’ll be cutting it in ten minutes.” Winifred told Steve, patting his shoulder as she passed by.
They sent the results to Winnie’s sister (who bakes cakes for every family members birthday), she’s the only one that knows the gender so far.
Steve was so excited for the reveal, it just seems like it will feel so much more real once he knows what they’re having. He was so happy when Bucky agreed to find out, and he’s sure once they know the Omega will be just as excited as him.
Although the blank look on Bucky’s face was hard to read, as the Omega entered the kitchen, headed for the fridge.
Steve smiled at him as they passed.
“Hey.” Bucky said, reaching inside for a juice box.
“Hey,” Steve said. “Winnie said we’re cutting the cake in ten, you excited?”
Bucky unwrapped his straw, pushing it into the box and taking a sip. He kept his eyes on the juice in his hands, a contemplative look on his face.
Steve bit his lip, starting to feel nervous from the Omega’s hesitancy.
Finally Bucky said, “I think I’m gonna sit this one out.”
He’s...
What?
“Sit it out? The gender reveal of your own baby?” Steve asked.
Why would he say that?
“It’s just...” Bucky took another sip of his juice, eyes still downcast, expression plain. “I think I’d still like to be surprised, when they’re born.”
“But we agreed on finding out today. Everybody’s expecting to find out to-“
Bucky cut him off.
“You can still find out, so can everyone else. I’ll just go upstairs when you do the reveal, it’ll be fine.”
What is he talking about?
“Are you serious?” Steve asked, brows furrowed, his irritation growing clear.
Bucky looked up, finally. “What’s the big deal?” He asked, and Steve couldn’t understand how he could look so indifferent to this.
“The big deal? You don’t think it’s a big deal that everyone else is more excited than you to find out something about your baby? Our baby?” Steve kept his voice low, not wanting to alert anyone to their, erh, disagreement.
“Steve I don’t wanna argue about this.” Bucky said, and before Steve could respond he’d started walking towards the living room.
Steve followed.
“Excuse me everyone?” Bucky called, standing in front of the table that held the white frosted cake, facing the living room full of people. “I don’t plan on finding out the baby’s gender, but Steve is and you are all welcome to stay and find out. For now I’ll be upstairs, so I just wanted to thank you for coming and for the gifts. It really means a lot, and helps me and Steve out immensely. So, thank you.”
With that he smiled, waved, and made his way up the stairs.
Steve watched as heads turned to follow the Omega. Faces of surprise, and in Winnie and Sarah’s case confusion, falling upon everyone. And then, those faces turned to Steve.
“Uh...”
What was he supposed to say, how could Bucky just leave him alone after saying all that?
He caught Natasha’s eye, she just raised a brow.
She looked disappointed.
All eyes were still on the Alpha, and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do.
He cleared his throat.
“I wasn’t, uhm, aware Bucky wasn’t finding out the gender today. I feel-“ he looked behind him at the cake, before turning back to the group of people. “I feel like, we uh, shouldn’t find out without him. So, I hope no ones upset about us not cutting the cake.”
The crowd still looked confused, but started reassuring him it was fine.
Sarah came up to him as people started gathering their things, getting ready to leave.
“Steve is everything okay? Why aren’t we doing the reveal?” She asked.
Steve sighed, “I don’t know, he just told me in the kitchen he wasn’t gonna- I don’t know. He didn’t give me any warning before that.”
“I thought you said you guys wanted to find out?”
“We did- I did. I mean, I had to talk him into it, but he seemed fine with it, he agreed to do it.” Steve said, he wasn’t sure what Bucky was thinking.
All Steve knew was that he was upset.
Maybe his annoyance was unjustified, but right now he felt very justified in his feelings.
Bucky just, dropped this on him. Then left him to deal with everyone, made him look like the bad guy.
.............
By the next afternoon Steve still felt annoyance eating at him.
Bucky and Winnie had gone home shortly after everyone left and the food and decorations were cleaned up, Steve and him hadn’t talked much. The Alpha was confused, Bucky hadn’t seemed mad when he left, just... he was acting unaffected.
But how could he be, when Steve was feeling such strong emotions over what happened.
He knows Bucky didn’t wanna find out the gender before, but he wouldn’t agree if he wasn’t okay with it right?
And to just leave Steve there, alone, to figure out how to tell a group of awaiting family and friends that? Steve was fuming.
Bucky hadn’t tried to text or call him.
Steve sat on the steps of his front door, phone in hand.
Why should he be the one to make the first move? Bucky put him in a really uncomfortable position yesterday, Steve shouldn’t be the one to apologize.
He scrolled through his previous texts, clicking on a specific chat.
Steve
4:09 pm
Do you know why Bucky did that yesterday?
Natasha
4:13 pm
Did what?
Steve
4:13 pm
Why he didn’t wanna do the reveal and left me to deal with it on my own
Natasha
4:16 pm
Huh
Steve
4:16 pm
What?
Natasha
4:17 pm
You really are an idiot
Steve
4:17 pm
What are you talking about?
Steve
4:17 pm
Natasha?
Steve
4:19 pm
Did Bucky tell you something?
Steve
4:20 pm
Helloooo
After five more minutes of waiting Steve sighed, she was definitely ignoring him.
But he did find out one thing, Bucky was for sure mad at him. He probably told Natasha something to make her mad at him too, which drove the Alpha crazy because if anyone had a right to be mad it was him.
He scrolled up to Bucky and his last texts, clicked on the Omega’s name and opened his contact.
Should he call him?
He didn’t feel like he should be the one to take the first step, but Bucky’s probably even more stubborn then Steve, so the chances of that happening were slim.
As he moved his thumb to click the call button, a text popped up.
Bucky
4:27 pm
Are you still picking me up for school tomorrow?
What kind of question was that? Like Steve’s gonna make his pregnant boyfriend find his own way to school, he’s not some kind of insensitive asshole.
Steve
4:28 pm
Yeah why wouldn’t I?
Bucky
4:28 pm
Just checking.
The blond thought about responding, but Bucky didn’t add anything more so he decided to let the conversation drop.
For Bucky to ask Steve if he was still getting a ride to school tomorrow meant the Omega must know that he hurt the Alpha’s feelings, so he clearly doesn’t seem to care how selfish he was yesterday.
But did the Omega really think Steve wouldn’t pick him up tomorrow? Just because of a little disagreement? Well, Steve supposes it’s not that little.
He just needs to figure out what’s going on with Bucky, once they talk this out and Steve can give his side he’s sure the Omega will understand how insensitive he was being.
..............
Even though the Alpha was still mad the next day, he couldn’t help but admire how adorable Bucky looked all bundled in his warm puffy jacket.
The Omega climbed into the passenger seat of Steve’s truck, sighing as he plopped down to get comfortable with his bag between his feet.
The blond shifted into drive and was off before the Omega finished buckling his seat belt.
He could feel Bucky glance at him, clearly unsure if he should be the first to break the silence.
Steve kept his eyes forward, face as neutral as he could.
At the first stop sign after Bucky’s house he felt a slim hand grab his wrist and pull it from the steering wheel, placing Steve’s palm inside the puffy jacket and firmly against the Omega’s middle.
The little foot to his hand was a welcome feeling, one that soothed the Alpha’s irritation.
If only a little.
They remained that way the whole ride to school, neither speaking, with only the soft movements of their little one.
When Steve pulled into the closest parking spot to the school he could find, and turned the truck off, he finally looked towards the Omega who’s eyes were already locked on his own.
Bucky graced him with a small smile.
“Hey.” The Omega said.
“Hi...”
Bucky moved is head to look out the windshield, hand still firmly holding Steve’s against his side.
“My mom said you didn’t cut the cake.”
Steve just looked at him for a moment, before signing. “Well, I didn’t exactly wanna look like an asshole yesterday.”
And yeah, he should really reel in that tone of his, but he’s never been good at holding back his emotions and the attitude that comes with it.
Bucky hummed, eyes still forward.
“And cutting the cake without me would make you an asshole?” The Omega asked.
Steve puffed through his nose, a wry grin spreading features. “The person carrying the baby says they don’t wanna find out the gender and leaves the baby shower? Of course I’d look like an asshole if I cut the cake after that. How could you just leave me there with all of your family to look at me like that?”
Out of the corner of his eye Steve could see the Omega glance at him.
“You have to understand that I didn’t wanna know the gender yet, I want it to be a surprise and I just knew I’d be missing out on that if I found out yesterday.”
“Then why’d you agree to find out in the first place!” Steve raised his voice, though it wasn’t really a yell.
“Steve...” Bucky sighed, and it only added fuel to Steve’s irritation at how unconcerned the Omega sounded.
“What?” He snapped.
The blond still wouldn’t meet the Omega’s eye.
“I was just trying to make you happy.”
The Alpha laughed. “Right, by changing your mind and leaving me to deal with the after math, wow really made me happy Buck.”
“Come on don’t be like that...” the brunette tried.
“I just can’t understand how you could be so selfish!”
Oh,
That was the wrong thing to say.
He could smell the he change in Bucky’s scent, the rise in anger that hadn’t been present moments before.
“I’m selfish?” He asked.
The piercing burn of his stare singed into Steve’s head, the spice of his anger clogged the cab of the ruck. He almost reached for the handle to roll the windows down, if only to let in the icy air outside.
It was stifling, thick.
Then it was gone, and so was Bucky.
Steve turned when the door slammed shut, leaving the Alpha to watch the Omega’s retreating form.
Okay, Rogers.
Maybe you took that too far.
...............
Bucky
3:15 pm
I already left with Clint
Steve sighed, thumping his head against his trucks door.
Here he’d been waiting ten minutes in the cold for the Omega to show up, but of course Bucky waited to text him until now.
“Y’know I here cutting a cake doesn’t make you an asshole, but pissing of a pregnant Omega does.” Came the velvet smooth voice of one Natasha Romanoff.
“I’m really not in the mood Nat.” Steve said, making his way towards the drivers side.
He wasn’t too surprised when the passenger door opened and in climbed the red headed Alpha.
“I told Clint I’d catch a ride with you, so I guess you’re just gonna have to deal.” She smiled at him.
Steve huffed, starting up his truck and backing out.
“So, what’s up your butt?” She asked.
“I’m sure he’s already told you all about it, so what’s the point of even talking.”
“Oh? And maybe I wanna hear your side, ever think of that?” Nat raised a brow.
“Right, my side... sure.”
“Really.” She said. “You don’t have to tell if you don’t want, but I’m here to help if I can.”
“It’s just-“ he started, stopped, sighed and resigned to leave it.
It was halfway to Natasha and Clint’s house that Steve broke the silence.
“I get I shouldn’t have called him selfish, okay? I know he’s having my kid and dealing with a lot right now, but I just-“ sighing, Steve tried to find the words. “Why did he back out?”
Natasha hummed, eyes still forward and a contemplative look gracing her features.
“Well, I don’t mean to rat James out but it seems you too aren’t currently seeing eye to eye at the moment. So,” she started. “A couple days ago, when me and him were hanging out, we started talking about the reveal. He said he wasn’t into finding out yet, and was thinking about not being involved in the cake cutting.”
“Yeah, I get that now but why did he even agree to do it in the first place? He made me look like such a dick yesterday.”
“No, you looked like a dick today. But anyways,” She sighed. “He told me how you got his parents to convince him, and that he was feeling really forced into it-“
“Forced? I didn’t force him, I mean he wouldn’t agree if he really didn’t want too-“
She cut him off, just as he’d done her.
“I think you forget how much of a people pleaser James can be, especially when it comes to you.”
Steve scoffed. “Nat, I don’t even get why he wouldn’t wanna know the gender of our baby. It’s like he doesn’t even care!”
“Steve, come on. He doesn’t care? Why because he wants to wait? Lots of new parents don’t wanna find out until the birth, that doesn’t mean they don’t care and that doesn’t mean they’re selfish.” She gave him a look, he could feel it.
Sighing as they neared Natasha house, he waited until they pulled up outside and put it in park before turning to look at her.
“I know,” he said. “He’s not selfish, I know. But he should’ve just been honest with me-“
“He was.” She said.
“What? When-“
“When he first told you no.”
With that, she grabbed her bag and opened the door.
Before she shut it, their eyes met. “Talk to your baby mama.” Nat gave him a small smirk, closing the door and walking towards her house.
When he first told you no
“So what do you think they’ll be?” Steve asked, his arms loose around the Omega against his chest.
“Hmm?” Bucky hummed, moving his eyes from the tv.
They were at Steve’s, Sarah was working late and it was the weekend. The couple decided to spend some free time together, lately, with everyone now knowing about the baby the couples time had been filled by either hanging out with friends and family, or school.
“The baby? What do you think they’ll be?” Steve asked again.
“Oh,” Bucky said, biting his lip as he thought. “I’m not sure, I don’t really have a preference. What about you?”
“I’m not sure either, we’ve got the doctors appointment coming up this week, they said you’re far enough along to tell.”
Bucky shook his head. “I think I wanna be surprised.” The Omega smiled, his palm on the growing bump of their child.
“But if we find out we can plan things a little easier, figure out clothes and names and stuff.” Steve tried.
“I’d rather wait.”
“Come on, Buck. I’m dying to knowwwww.” The Alpha whined.
“No Steve, I already told you, I wanna be surprised.” The Omega sighed, leaning against his desk chair as he moved his homework aside.
“Why can’t we just find out? Why is it so different to find out then instead of now?” The Alpha asked from his spot on the Omega’s bed, his own homework resting on his lap.
“I could ask you the same thing. Why is it so difficult to wait two more months?” Bucky raised a brow.
“That’s so far, Buck. I just wanna know, so I can stop calling them only Baby when I talk the them.”
“I already said no, Steve. That’s my final decision, find out by yourself if you really wanna know.”
With that the Omega turned back to his school work.
And with time, Steve realized the only thing he could do to get his way would be to elicit the help of George and Winifred Barnes.
Blinking his eyes open, Steve stared at his steering wheel.
Yeah, Steve really was an asshole, but cake had nothing to do with it.
Steve
3:34 pm
Can I come over?