James & Lily Potter - After
James woke in a panic to find himself in the same spot on the stairs he had just died on. Godric's Hollow was quiet and the sun was shining, no sign of the events that had just taken place. James looked around in confusion, wondering if it had all been nothing more than an odd dream. A crash from the upstairs room sent him flying up the stairs.
“Lily?!” he called. “Lily is that you?”
The door to Harry’s nursery flew open and his wife barreled into his arms, the same red hair and vibrant green eyes looking up into his own. She was trembling, and James held her tight, her rock even in death.
“Harry,” James gasped. “Where’s Harry?” He made a frantic move towards the nursery before Lily gently placed a shaking hand on his arm.
“He’s not here, love,” she said, softly. She watched silently as what had happened finally dawned on him.
“He lived?” James said. “Harry’s alive.” He repeated those two words over and over before breaking down in Lily’s arms. “He’s alive, Lil. Oh merlin, he’s all alone. We left him alone.” The two fell to the floor, cradling each other.
“I know, love. I know,” Lily cried with him. “Alone, but alive,” she said and she clung desperately to that last word. “He’s alive and Sirius and Remus will take care of him and someday we’ll get to see him again.”
The names of their two best friends were like knives, cutting deep as James thought of them finding out what had happened. They should never have trusted Peter.
“Peter,” James said flatly. “Peter did this.” Lily’s eyes widened in shock as the realization of what he meant hit her. The two sat together silently, remembering the man they had laughed with, trusted, loved. James thought of his best friend whom he’d grown up with for longer than he could even remember. The boy who had always known how to make anyone laugh, who had come up with brilliant pranks. He thought of Wormtail and he wasn’t sure whether to laugh or scream.
“He’ll get what’s coming to him,” Lily said surely. “I just wish we could see it.”
As she spoke, a light began to fill the room, slowly growing until it engulfed the two. They blinked rapidly as their sight returned and the light cleared. They were in a different room, one they had never seen before. It was empty except for a large mirror taking up one side.
As they watched it, the mirror flashed to Godric’s Hollow, the walls shattered. As they watched, a motorbike crash landed, the rider stumbling off already in a run towards the house.
“Padfoot,” James breathed.
Lily and James watched as Sirius stopped in front of what used to be the front door.
“James?” he called as he slowly walked in the door. “James? Lily?” His voice was trembling and he finally made his way to the stairs.
When Sirius fell to his knees, so did James.
“Oh merlin,” Sirius sobbed. James lay in front of him, his hair a mess, his face frozen in a determined fearful expression, brown eyes open wide and glassy, skin pale. His body was still warm as Sirius reached out to shake him slightly. “James!” he pleaded. “No no no no,” he sobbed, head bowing over his best friend.
Lily watched with tears streaming down her face as Sirius stood, trembling. Closing James’ eyes, he whispered a broken “I’m sorry” before moving up the stairs. James remained on the ground watching numbly, his heart in pieces.
Harry was crying. His tears and repeated calls for his mother could be heard faintly from within the nursery. “Lily?” Sirius called fearfully. He didn’t have to enter the room to know she was gone too. Her bright red curls were visible on the ground as he froze just outside the doorway. Her hair flared around her pale face like a halo, green eyes dulled by the haze of death. One hand was outstretched towards the crib where baby Harry sat, crying. A jagged scar was visible on his forehead, his green eyes glistening the same as his mother’s once had.
Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off Lily. “Dammit Evans,” he choked out.
Lily couldn’t help but softly reply to him as if he were right there, “That’s Potter to you.” But Sirius couldn’t hear her. She watched sadly as he picked Harry up, her eyes glued to the lightning shaped wound on her baby’s head. She longed to reach out and smooth his wild hair out of his eyes.
James stood and walked towards the scene in front of them resting his hand on Sirius’ as if he could will himself through to the other side. Lily watched horrified as his arm fell through.
Could they go back?
As if in a trance, James pushed forwards until he was half in half out and Lily realized what was about to happen.
“James, no!” she yelled, lunging and pulling him back. They both flew back, landing roughly on the ground.
James thrashed against her hold. “Let me go Lily, I was there, I was almost there,” he sobbed.
“As a ghost, James,” she said forcefully. “Trapped in the empty shell of our broken house. You can’t help them anymore love.”
James sagged in her arms, the fight leaving his body. Across the room, the lives of their loved ones kept moving. Sirius was still cradling Harry, staring with a lost, terrified look out the door of the nursery. A loud bang through the house had all three jumping. Rubeus Hagrid made his way through the door, facing off with Sirius.
“Sirius, Dumbledore sent me ter pick up young Harry here,” Hagrid said.
James shot up. “What?”
“What?” Sirius intoned. “He is my godson, he goes with me.”
“Dumbledore has me under strict orders ter bring him right ter him, ter his aunt and uncle.”
Lily stood straight at that. “No. He couldn’t possibly mean that.”
Sirius scoffed. “Lily and James,” he paused, voice cracking on their names. “Lily and James would never stand for this.”
“I have ter take the boy to Dumbledore, Sirius. Dumbledore always knows what’s best.”
Sirius let out a maniacal laugh. “Yes, yes. Wise Dumbledore. The all knowing, all mighty saviour.”
Hagrid straightened his back, a thunderous look overtaking his face. And in that moment, barely perceptible in the background, a small rat darted past the door of the nursery. Sirius seemed to zero in on the small figure as it dashed by, all common sense forgotten.
“Take him,” he said coldly to Hagrid, handing off Harry. “But tell Dumbledore I will be back for him. Take my bike too, you’ll need it more than I do.”
Hagrid stared puzzled as Sirius took off.
Lily and James seemed to realize what he was doing at the same time. They looked to each other, horrified. “He’ll kill him! They’ll lock him up,” James said in shock. He stared deathly pale at the image of his best friend running towards a horrifying fate.
That was all they could do. Watch.
Watch as their son got carted off to a place he would see no love, watch as Sirius made a careless mistake, watch as Remus got left alone and Peter cemented his betrayal.
The last thing they saw was a rat running from the remains of a blasted street, a broken man carted off for a crime he did not commit, and the world fell apart and all the while they were dead.
The same bright light that had brought them into the room carried them off and they were back in Godric’s Hollow where they had first woken.
“Wait, no. Take us back,” Lily demanded. But whatever force had taken them there was no longer listening.
James stood next to her, a blank look on his face. James Potter was like the sun. A bright, all encompassing ball of warmth and love. But as he stood in front of Lily now, she could only see the young, scared man he was, his grief an eclipse over his light.
Because they had been far too young. Too young to be soldiers and too young to stand where they stood now.
A knock at their front door startled the two of them. James reached out and grabbed Lily’s hand as if to ground himself. Making their way to the front door, they hesitated, unsure who would be standing on the other side of the door.
“Hello?” A soft voice came floating through the wooden door and James turned to Lily, eyes widening in hesitant hope.
“It can’t be,” he muttered. Flinging open the door, they came face to face with Euphemia and Fleamont Potter. James let out a strangled gasp before flying at his parents. They had died a few years before after falling incredibly ill. James had never fully recovered from it.
“Oh Jamie,” Effie Potter beamed at her son. “Look at you.” Her smile was tinged with sadness at the realization that her son had been robbed of a proper long life. “Oh I missed you, my boy,” she said fiercely. Monty reached out to Lily and she let herself fall into her father in law’s warm embrace.
The reunion was a welcome ray of sun in the tornado of their grief. The elder Potters appeared as Lily had known them in the years before they died and they spoke of their time in this world with a bittersweet joy. They spent an hour talking about everything that had led up to Lily and James’ murders. Peter’s betrayal had shocked the Potters to the bone. It was impossible to reconcile the little boy who they had loved like their own, who had grown up alongside their son, committing such a heinous act.
They learned that they would be able to watch their son grow in their time here, the door between worlds reopening for those who learned to accept their new reality. They talked for hours, until exhaustion caught up with them and goodbyes were exchanged.
That night, they sat together, huddled in the corner of their couch. Lily had fallen asleep, her head nestled into James’ side. There were tears falling onto her red hair as James thought on the son he would never get to send off to Hogwarts or introduce to quidditch. Holding Lily tighter, James let his emotions wash through him and before long he was lulled into a fitful sleep.
_______
The morning of their first day being dead, Lily shocked awake screaming Harry’s name. She fell apart in James’ arms as he desperately tried to hold himself together.
Midway through the day, James found an abandoned baby bottle in a cupboard and sat at the bottom of the stairs sobbing until Lily found him. They spent the better part of the day just sitting there, unsure what it was they were meant to do.
Their second day, Lily dragged James out of the house, saying emphatically with angry tears in her eyes that she “couldn’t stand another moment in this cursed house.”
It was getting on late afternoon as they stepped out their door into a scape of rolling green fields and hills. Houses of various shapes and sizes dotted the land. The two Potters made their way down the road, wandered hesitantly toward what appeared to be a market.
People milled between the storefronts and stalls of the marketplace, chatter filling the air. Unsure where to start, Lily and James meandering shyly in an attempt to quell their overwhelmed thoughts.
“Marlene?” Lily gasped suddenly, spotting a familiar shock of blonde hair. The other girl spun around and Lily made eye contact with a very familiar pair of blue eyes, gripping James’ arm tightly in shock.
“Lily?” Marlene screeched. The two girls bolted at each other colliding in a mess of hugs and incoherent conversation. James watched the reunion with a smile and tears in his eyes as he watched his wife and childhood best friend reunite. He stumbled as Marlene grabbed his arm, dragging him into the hug and the three of them cried together.
“How are you here? Why are you here? What’s happened? Oh I’ve missed you, you beautiful fools,” Marlene sobbed.
Lily and James cobbled together the story of what had happened as the three friends attempted to compose themselves. When James revealed Peter’s betrayal, Marlene’s face took on a heartbroken expression and revealed her own story of how Peter had betrayed her too. Had been the one to point the wand at her little brother and to watch as his death eater friend killed her. She and James held each other tight as they mourned their lost childhood friend. His death would have hurt less than the betrayal.
Wiping tears, the three friends drew back, taking in the moment. “Forget about that rat,” Marlene grumbled, “you have to come with me, the others will be so happy to see you.” Her face took on a different light as she opened up about the life she’d built in this world.
“And Dorcas and I, we’ve got this perfect little cottage right down the road from Gid and Fabian and a few others and it’s kinda horrible that it took dying to find this peace, but I bloody love it now, I’ll tell you,” she spoke a mile a minute as she dragged the two Potters through the market and up the road. Eventually they found themselves in front of what must have been the aforementioned cottage. Chatter and laughter floated out the open windows as Marlene pulled them to a stop. “Wait right here,” she demanded.
Lily shook her head, slightly overwhelmed. “Merlin, she hasn’t changed one bit,” James grinned.
“No, most definitely not,” his wife mused. “A tad comforting as odd as this all is.”
The front door flew open and they came face to face with an astounded Dorcas Meadowes. Her braids were wrapped in a brightly colored scarf and she was wearing a familiar pair of overalls she had practically lived in most of her final years. “Bloody hell,” she gasped. “You really were being serious.”
“Couldn’t miss the party now could we?” James joked weakly.
Her bright laughter was a comfort as she made her way to the two, pulling Lily into a hug and winking at James. “Of course not,” she chuckled. “Not a party without James Potter now, is it?” She shook her head in shock. “I’m sure there’s a lot to talk about. Come on, then,” she waved them into the house.
They were greeted with familiar faces and shouted exclamations of surprise. The Weasley twins piled onto James as Lily greeted Benjy Fenwick. The reunions were bittersweet. After all, who could rejoice in the young demise of so many? But they were not alone and in due time—all hoped it would be far, far in the future—they would grow less so.
The party was loud, the conversations long and random. They traded jokes and reminisced on old stories. For the first time since they’d arrived in this next life, Lily and James could feel their hope growing. And as the night drew to a close and they made their way back home, the couple knew they would be okay.
_______
It took time, but eventually Lily and James settled into a rhythm. They moved out of Godric's Hollow, creating a new home, a fresh start away from the trauma, though the memories—good and bad—would stay with them forever. They had their days when the reality of what they had lost was too much to bear and the sadness would overcome their chaotically constructed peaceful lives.
They spent their days laughing with Marlene and Dorcas and Gid and Fabian. Lily experimented with her potions. James cooked with Effie and argued with Monty about quidditch and, most importantly, they lived.
Well, as much as someone who was already dead could live.
And of course they checked in on Harry and Sirius and Remus. James’ voice could be heard cheering for miles when they watched Harry become the youngest quidditch player in a century. Lily fumed as she watched her former friend torment her son and swore revenge when Severus inevitably met his end. They cried for Remus who was so lost on his own and they cheered when Sirius finally made his way out of Azkaban.
And all the while they waited patiently for the day they would reunite with all they had lost.