The Bridge

"Hi."

The word escapes him. He shouldn't have initiated that smile, he should have allowed her to pass him by as if he was never there but she caught him off guard. He found himself trapped between the crowd, unable to weave his way through. He could have looked the other way but he couldn't bear to tear his eyes from her; until she finally looked up in his direction and gradually made her way to him.

His body resists his mind's natural instinct to reach for her, even just for a simple touch on the shoulder. Consciously adjusting the strap of his backpack, Sebastian withdraws his hand to his pocket.

"Hey you, it's been a while hasn't it?" She smiles.

It has. It's been a year and her voice, exactly as he had remembered. "How are you Seb?"

He's relieved that the bridge is so busy, Y/N's attention torn between him and the bustling traffic of people trying to get to either side. This way, she might not notice how he's looking at her. The way his eyes, lingered a little too long on those beautiful blushed lips he was so used to kissing; filled with curses the last time they spoke. The way he struggled to look into her eyes, those deep brown eyes filled with tears the last time he saw her.

"I...I've been good. Been keeping myself busy with work. The usual." He musters up the courage to respond, feigning a some-what happy smile.

"Oh I know you've been busy. You seem to be in every movie trailer I see. I can't seem to escape you." She playfully creases her nose at him.

Chuckling lightly, Sebastian looks down at his feet. Half of him sure she meant that with pure jest, the other half convinced there were remnants of resentment.

"How are you?" He asks, gesturing towards her before resting his hand on the back of his head.

Y/N shuffles closer to hear him. The bridge swelling with more people, their chatter growing louder and harsher.

"I've been well. Not as busy as you but enough to keep me out of trouble. Are you here for work?"

"Yeah, just wrapped up some reshoots today. How about you, how long are you in New York? " Raising his voice above the crowd, Sebastian moves closer to Y/N as the herd pushes past them.

"I just came to stay with Tara for a few days. I'm actually off tomorrow, so I wanted to squeeze in some time to walk around the city before I leave."

"Heading towards the Museum of Natural History?" He raises an eye brow, making Y/N roll her eyes sheepishly in admission.

"You and your dinosaurs." Seb chuckles to himself, shaking his head as he recalls the many occasions Y/N dragged him through the same museum. Her face always lit up like a child as she marvelled at the exhibitions of fossils and artefacts. He never got the appeal of looking at a bunch of old bones but seeing her smile the way she did, he would have been willing to go everyday if time would have allowed. "Don't you ever get bored?"

Y/N doesn't respond to his playful jibe, instead she looks at him intently with furrowed brows. Pursing her lips as she scoffs to herself.

"I forgot you never had time for that sort of childish nonsense huh?"

"That's not what I meant Y/N..."

"No it's fine, I was just joking Seb." She stops Sebastian before he could explain himself, visibly kicking himself for making that comment. "I should probably get going...It was good seeing you again." She holds his gaze for a few seconds, anticipating a response that never came before giving up and excusing herself away from him.

Sebastian shuts his eyes as he feels her graze past him, his hand naturally flinching to grab hers but he hesitates, it's too late. He can feel his stomach sinking as he is swallowed by the rush of people swarming around him, none of them taking notice of the celebrity on the bridge but he feels a wave of anxiety creeping up, paranoia that he was about to be encroached by the old voices asking for pictures and autographs. He's certainly in no mood to pose for pictures right now. Suddenly, he's lost all direction for where his day was headed. All plans out the window. His mind fixated on the conversation he just had.

Is this what his relationship with Y/N has come to? A brief hello and then separate directions out of each other's lives? How could the three happy years they shared be reduced to just a distant memory?

Sebastian slowly makes his way across the bridge, dragging his feet towards the path of his intended destination, wherever that might be. Scenes of his last night with Y/N playing his head.

Flashback

"Where were you?"

Sebastian looked up in surprise, it was 3am and he hadn't expected Y/N to still be awake. She was sat with her legs on the sofa, wearing the black bardot dress she had worn to dinner earlier. Her face was flushed with pink, her previously sleek bun had gradually come undone through the night.

"Why are you still awake babe? It's so late." Sebastian sighed as he made his way towards her, seating himself next to her and placing his hand on hers.

Snatching it away, Y/N bit her lip, unable to look at him. Sebastian began to stroke her rosy cheek gently.

"Have you been drinking?" He questions solemnly.

"Yeah. I had a few actually. You know, after you left me by myself in restaurant?" Y/N finally turned to him.

"Y/N come on-" Sebastian tried to hold her but she got up abruptly, leaving him and slamming the door to their bedroom.

Sebastian sighed before pushing himself wearily off the sofa and followed her to the room. It had been a long day and he wasn't ready for another one of these showdowns.

"Y/N, sweetheart. I'm sorry okay?"

"You do this to me all the time! All the time! Do you know how it makes me feel you when you just leave me like that?"

"I didn't leave you by yourself, you had Tara and Zach with you!"

"I wanted to be with YOU! Can't I just spend time with my boyfriend like any other normal girl? You work all week, I just wanted to be with you for one evening! Is that too much to ask?"

"Y/N..." Sebastian heaved in frustration, dragging his hand through his now messy hair.

"You went to see her didn't you? Your 'friend' with the emergency? Is that why you left?" Y/N emphasised the word 'friend' with heated sarcasm, fire building in her chest. She
already knew the answer but she wanted him to admit it with his own words.

"Don't. Don't make this about her okay?" Irritation building in him, deep down he knew it was going to come to this.

"But it's true though right? It's always about her. How could I not?" Y/N got up confrontationally. "What was the emergency this time? She locked herself outside her apartment? Lost her car keys? What could have possibly happened this time to make to you run off like that to see your ex?"

"Stop making it like I'm cheating on you. She's my friend, I just wanted to make sure she was okay! She called m-"

"Did you ever stop to think if I was okay? Do you ever think about me when you do these things?" Y/N hadn't realised she was crying until she started struggling to breathe. Every breath hurt her. Every second Sebastian didn't respond hurt her. "Why do you insist on doing this to me?"

"Kaitlyn's sister is in the hospital, she was a mess and she just wanted a shoulder to cry on. I was trying to be a good friend. That's all I ever try to be. Why can't you believe me?"

"Don't turn this on me! Don't make it seem like I'm being an irrational girlfriend!"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are! How would you like it if I ran off to see Jared every night? Leaving you whenever he called? You'd be fucking livid if I did that, so stop acting like this is fucking normal." Y/N sat herself on the bed, her eyes fixated on Sebastian's hardened expression.

"What do you want me to say Y/N? Because I don't know what else to tell you. I am tired of having to explain myself to you all the time, having this same argument every time."
Y/N held his gaze. The only sound in the room were their heavy breathing. "Tell me you don't love her".

"Jesus Christ Y/N."

"What? Why is it so hard to say if you don't?!" She screamed, his resistance being his confirmation.

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that you're the only one I love?! I can tell you I don't love her a million times and we'll keep having this fight anyway! This all comes down to the fact that you're insecure and you don't trust me."

"No I don't trust you. How could I when not once in our relationship you have put me first? I'll always come second place in your heart, I'm finally starting to accept that now."

"You're fucking immature Y/N...first place, second place. You know you can be such a fucking child sometimes. I love YOU. This isn't some competition!"

"Yeah I'm fucking childish but at least I can admit my own feeling to myself."

"I'm done having this fight." Sebastian shook his head, the sky was getting light and he needed to get some shut eye before he had to wake up to shoot scenes in the morning.
"Sleep it off, we can talk about this later." He pulled the covers over, ready to get in for some peace.

That's how it worked. They'd bitch, they'd fight but the next day they'd always makeup. A kiss on the nose and breakfast in bed did wonders.

However this time Y/N doesn't join him. Her back remained facing him.

"No. I'm done too." She managed to recollect herself, wiping her tears with the palm of her hand. She was calm now, there was nothing left to argue about.
Sebastian stood there, the covers still in his hand. He began to experience a sinking feeling he had never felt in their fights before. Dread in his gut, spread all the way to his throat. Too afraid to implore what she meant.

"I can't be here anymore. Near you."

"Y/N."

" I can't continue like this with you. I hate how I feel. I hate the way I am. I don't want to do this anymore." Y/N finally turned to face him, tears no longer running down her face.
Eyes vacant, with the love that was once there, drained out of them.

She got off the bed to grab her bag. Sebastian retained his stance by the bed, his eyes unwilling, unable to watch her gather her stuff. He remained there until she closed the door behind her, only then did he look up to see nothing but the empty room.

End of Flashback

Sebastian stops himself in his tracks. The sound of the city wakes him from his daze, New York reminding him of its presence. He somehow made it across the bridge, finding himself at the foot of the stairs he mindlessly traipsed down without memory.

He sees the cafe he was meant to be in 15 minutes ago. His friends who probably expected his tardiness, were likely catching up without him and yet, he is in no rush to cross the road.

He can't help but feel that there is somewhere else he needs to be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What distinguishes triceratops from other dinosauria is its enormous skull, possessing a backward-pointing fr-è stato misurato a oltre sette piedi! Altri certopsici come Centrosaurus e-" Fiddling with the language setting on her audio guide, Y/N walks distractedly through the herbivorous dinosaur exhibit. She had already breezed through the butterfly conservatory without even acknowledging a single insect; her mind miles away with someone else.

She leans herself against the railing, her elbows resting against the cool metal. A piece of glass separates her from the majestic model of a prehistoric animal in front of her. She suddenly can't help but feel sorry for it. Trapped in a glass cage, people gawking at it every few minutes and then leaving when they've lost interest. Yes, she knows it is only a model but it if was alive, we'd probably do the same. And here she is, guilty as charge.

"Excuz me mrs, pweeze can you carry me? I can't see the dinosaur." A little girl tugs at Y/N's dress to her surprise. She looks down to see a cherubic curly haired child, ladybirds adorned on the collars of her red cardigan. She smiles awkwardly at Y/N, her head just about reaching the railing.

"Erm...sure darling." Y/N throws her arms up in amusement of the request, swinging her up onto her right hip.

The girl studies the dinosaur intently before pointing at the glass, a cheeky grin spreading across her face.

"Dats a fwunny looking one." She covers her mouth to suppress the laughter building in her belly.

"That's a Parasaurolophus. Their funny looking heads actually helped send sounds to their friends, to warn them when there was a hungry dinosaur nearby. Kind of like a little trumpet."

"A pawasawolofas."

Y/N giggled with the little girl at her pronunciation. The little girl's infectious laughter growing louder and higher.

"Izzy! Where are you?" A panicked voice shouts through the entrance of the exhibit.

"Uh-oh das my mama. I have to go now dinosaur lady!" Before Y/N could react, the little girl slides her way out of her arms, her hand accidentally knocking Y/N's earring across the floor.

Y/N watches as her new friend runs across the room, dodging the crowd of people expertly and jumping into the arms of her worried mother, who smothers her into her chest.

Her face filled with relief that she wasn't abducted by some strange 'dinosaur lady'.

Y/N smiles at the sight, it was little human interactions like this that she enjoyed in life, it reminded her of how simple and happy life could be. She heaves a deep breath before crouching down in a mission, shuffling her way through the sea of legs in attempt to find her earring. It could have fallen through the vents on the floor for all she knows but she isn't leaving without trying to retrieve it. It was an 18th birthday present from a dear friend, worth very little but she has worn it every day since; heart shaped rubies with golden accents.

"Oop, sorry." She apologises breathlessly as she bumps into people, all probably concerned why this grown woman was crawling around on the floor. Y/N sees the security guard peering above the gathering of people she is blocking, suspicious why they have all congregated there and away from the actual display. She quickens her search, pushing gently through the crowd until finally she spots a sparkle of red at the bottom of a Stegosaurus model.

"There you are." She mumbles with delight under her breath.

Just as she is getting back on her feet, she sees a man bend down to pick up her earring. He's wearing a familiar light grey t-shirt, a black backpack strung on his shoulders, headphones around his neck.

Her delight fades in an instant.

The man turns around with his mouth slightly agape, as he mentally prepares to explain himself.

"Did you lose this?" Sebastian smiles sheepishly, extending his palm towards Y/N.

Y/N doesn't respond, she just looks at the ruby in his hand, eventually plucking up the courage to retrieve it.

"Um... I hope I'm not intruding on your alone time." Sebastian clears his throat between his words. "It's been a while since I've been here, I just thought I'd have a wander myself. I can go if you want me t-"

"No. No it's okay, the museums big enough for the both of us." Y/N plasters on that happy smile she had on the bridge. One she had practised in her head in case of times like this.

Sebastian nods in relief, had she sent him packing he wouldn't have known what to do with himself.

"So...what exactly are we looking at right now?" He gestures towards the reconstructed model before them, trying to act as casual as he could. He's an actor damn it, why is it so hard?

Unsure of what exactly her ex is doing, she steps beside him and points to the sign which clearly read 'Stegosaurus'.

"Right! I...I totally missed that."

"How long have you been here?" Y/N enquires, trying to ignore how awkward this exchange is.

"Not long, just long enough to see you crawling around like a crack-head." Sebastian teases, artfully dodging Y/N's unappreciative daggers.

"I thought you didn't like it here?"

"What do you mean? I love dinosaurs!" Sebastian exclaims, pretending to look busy 'reading' the information on the plaque.

"Well when I used to take you here, I recall someone moaning and groaning all the way through. Your favourite part was the gift shop at the end." Y/N pokes at him.

"Hey, let's not pretend that wasn't your favourite too."

"I'm serious, what are you doing here?" She is serious indeed, her face no longer bearing the same friendly smile she bore before.

Sebastian sighs, his teeth tugging at the bottom of his lip. "I guess...I should have been more appreciative back then. I kind of figured out what I have been missing all these years and I didn't want the opportunity to slip past me again. That's why I'm here."

Y/N no longer sure what exactly he is referring to, the museum or something else but she doesn't want to ruminate on unfounded theories.

"So, would you mind if I joined you?" Sebastian suggests in the silence of it all. "You can teach me all about our prehistoric friends, I'll actually listen this time."

Y/N ponders for a few moments. Spending her day with the man who broke her heart, isn't exactly on her itinerary. Had she anticipated her encounter with Sebastian, she might not have taken this trip to New York at all.

Closure. Perhaps this experience will give her the much needed closure, to sign off her association with him.

Yes, closure is the reasoning Y/N gave herself.

"Where do you want to start then?"

Sebastian could hardly believe this is happening. He hadn't thought this through, in fact since the bridge he has no idea how he ended up here. All he knows is that this is where he wanted to be. With Y/N again.

"T-Rex?"

"Is that the only dinosaur you know?" Y/N raises a brow, unimpressed.

"No." Sebastian feigns offense. "There's also that one with the claw that chased Jeff Goldblum through those fields in Jurassic Park II."

"Oh my god..." Y/N shakes her head in disbelief, as she lead the way to the Tyrannosaurus exhibit.

"Hey." Seb catches up to her, brushing her arm slightly to her surprise. "I didn't pick up an audio guide on the way in. Do you mind if we share?"

Y/N looks down at the device in her hand, the cheap black earphones dangling between them.

"Erm...sure."

Sebastian picks up one of the buds, placing it in his right ear as Y/N does the same to her left. His towering stature making it awkward for them to walk at different paces, forcing Sebastian to stay close to Y/N, lowering his head to meet her small frame. Their arms grazing each other ever so slightly, as they explored the neighbouring sights.

Every now and again, Sebastian would catch Y/N stealing glances at him much to her annoyance, as he would react with a mischievously enquiring brow. A growing smile teasing Sebastian's face.