The Bridge

“Roamer of the Cretaceous period, the ‘Tyrant Lizard King’, Tyrannosaurus Rex was one of the most fearsome predators on the planet. Boasting a set of 50-60 banana sized teeth, these carnivores were-”

Sebastian and Y/N stood in awe of the animatronics in front of them. A T-Rex on prehistoric land, turning its head every so often and roaring unexpectedly, to give the startled kids a fright. Occasionally the sound of an adult shriek could be heard, followed by a simmering wave of snickering among the crowd.

“Woah, careful guys.” Sebastian bends down, protectively guarding the small group of children in front of him. A bunch of teenage boys had managed to push their way to the front, boisterously cackling and climbing on the railings to take pictures with the dinosaur. Defeated, the little kids retreat back to their parents as the boys continue with their shenanigans, with just one child standing defiantly.

“Hmph! Not fair!” She stomps her feet.

Recognising the little tot, Y/N bends down to poke her on the shoulders.

“Did you run away from your mama again missy?”

“Dinosaur lady! Caweey me again. I wanna see!” Izzy jumps up and down, her curly hair bouncing on her shoulders.

“Who’s this?” Sebastian whispers.

“My friend.” Y/N smiles before turning back to the girl. “I don’t think you should be running off like this, your mummy is going to be worried again.”

“My mama has to look after my baba sister, she can’t push the swoller here so she wait at the back for me.” Izzy points to her mother sitting on the visitor benches, cradling and cooing the bundle in her arms.

Clearing his throat, Sebastian decides it’s only polite to introduce himself to Y/N’s friend. He bends down to her level and extends his hand to her. “Hello dino lady’s friend. My name is Sebastian, what is your name?”

Izzy stares at him with suspicion, eyeing the strange man up and down before determining him to be a enough decent character and accepts his handshake with a beaming smile.

“Izzy!”

“Well hello Izzy, would you like to see the dinosaur?” Sebastian opens his arms but before he could say anymore, he finds them already full with the excited little girl who had leapt into them.

“Are you scared?” He whispers to the grinning child who shakes her head.

Y/N watches as the new friends become quickly acquainted, Izzy’s pitchy giggles erupting every time Sebastian says something funny. Both of them gasping as the T-Rex opens its mouth to roar, with Sebastian clutching his heart for added drama.

What a man child. Yet even so Y/N can’t help but laugh along with their silliness. To a bystander, they seem to be an idyllic little family spending a Sunday afternoon out at the museum. Mom, Dad and daughter. A modern day Norman Rockwell painting.

A passerby awes as she makes her way past the trio, to which Sebastian turns his head, smiling with unexpected pride whilst holding an oblivious Izzy who is still marvelling at the dinosaur.

“Psst! Dinosaur lady.” Izzy curls her finger at Y/N, bidding her to come closer so she could reach her ear.

“Hm?”

“Is Sebashon your boyfren?” She whispers, not so quietly.

Y/N looks at Sebastian, who returns the same uncomfortable expression on her face. The realisation of how bizarre this whole situation is quickly unravels before her. What is she doing playing happy families with her ex and some stranger’s kid? Has she stumbled upon some sort of alternate universe?

“No Izzy. Sebastian is…he’s just someone I used know.” Y/N smiles, purposely looking at him as she uttered every syllable. Fearing he has mistaken her goodwill for something beyond what it is, she needed to draw the line and clarify to him and herself, that this…meant nothing.

Sebastian doesn’t say anything, instead he clears his throat and turns his attention back to the child in his arms.

“Come Izzy, I think your mommy want to see you.” He tells the girl before carrying her back to her mother, leaving Y/N to stand alone.

Y/N inhales deeply, what is this feeling inside her chest?

Regret?

No, it can’t be. Regret implies that she didn’t mean what she had said but how could that be true? She doesn’t love Sebastian, not anymore. She had moved out the city, stopped seeing her old friends, all for fear that she might bump into him again. If there is regret, it would only be because she allowed him to run her out of her own life. If anything, that feeling inside her should be anger.

Resentment.

She curses herself for not turning a blind eye on the bridge. Who did she think she was kidding? Did she really think she could be diplomatic with Sebastian, act like they could be friends?

She watches as he talks to Izzy’s mother, who has obviously just realised who he is. Embarrassed that her audacious daughter had managed make a Hollywood movie star her personal nanny, she apologises profusely, trying her best to pry Izzy off of him; her little hands still grasping tightly onto Sebastian’s shirt. The exchange lasts for only a few short moments before Sebastian makes his way back to Y/N.

“Izzy says to tell dinosaur lady that she’ll miss her.” He reports back.

Y/N smiles, giving the little girl a final wave before she is led out the room.

“So, shall we continue?” Sebastian resumes.

“Actually, I think I should go.” Y/N grapples with the strap of her handbag uncomfortably. “There’s still some other stuff I want to do and it’s way into the afternoon now.”

“Well how about we grab a coffee before you go?” Sebastian interjects before she could slip past him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Hey, it’s just one coffee. After that, you can pretend I don’t exist again.” Sebastian chuckles disingenuously.

Y/N continues fiddling with her bag, looking everywhere but him. The exit seems so close, she could just make a run for it.

“Just a quick one.” She gives in, figuring it’s better to get it over and done with than make a scene in the middle of a museum. The downside of knowing a celebrity is that there’s always someone watching.

“Okay.” Sebastian inhales uneasily, gesturing Y/N to the stairs towards the cafe.

———————————————————————————————————–

The museum cafe was unusually quiet for a Sunday afternoon. A small family occupying the larger table, with a smattering of both young and old couples dotted around the room; their chattering low enough to still hear the gentle pop song playing on the radio.

“A flat white for you and an Americano for me.” Sebastian places the drinks on their table, as Y/N types away on her phone.

“Thanks.” She smiles half-heartedly as she places her mobile back in her bag.

“So how long were you staying with Tara?” Sebastian quickly dives in.

“Just a few days, I hadn’t seen her for so long.”

“You know, she’s always telling me how much she misses you. Why don’t you come back more often?”

Y/N doesn’t respond, taking a large sip of her coffee as she stares out the window. She could feel Sebastian’s eyes on her but she’d rather pay attention to the traffic of visitors outside.

“Are you going to be back anytime soon?” He continues.

“I don’t know.” Y/N finally turns her head back to Sebastian, who still hasn’t touched his drink. “There’s so much going on at work and I’ve got a life now in Chicago. I don’t know when I’ll find the time.”

“Oh.”

A long silence ensues. Sebastian absent-mindedly rubs his thumb against the porcelain ear of his mug, a million thoughts rushing through his head.

“Are you okay?” Y/N mirrors his actions, gently chewing on her lip as she holds down the festering nerves inside her.

“Chicago huh?”

“Yeah.”

“You uh…you always did loved Chicago.” Sebastian smiles. “Do you remember that trip we took there for your birthday? It snowed so heavily when we arrived, we were trapped in our hotel the whole night.”

“Yeah, and we ordered room service and played black jack?”

“You mean I ordered room service and you ate those 7 packs of instant ramen you smuggled into your suitcase?” Sebastian teased.

“Well unlike some people, I like to travel prepared.” Y/N scoffs, masking her gentle titter behind her cup.

“Do you know what my favourite part of that trip was though? That day we went ice-skating and you pushed me and I ended up skidding and knocking over that old couple on the rink.”

“Sebastian that’s awful! You hit them so hard!”

“Well if you hadn’t pushed me!”

“I did not. That was all you. You do one Tonya Harding movie and suddenly you think you’re a pro! I can’t believe that’s your favourite memory.”

“Well if that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have had you nursing me back to health all night.”

“Yes, piggy backing you back to hotel was so romantic.” Y/N rolls her eyes. “We missed all the reservations we had planned and I was stuck massaging your ankle.”

A solemn smile graces Sebastian’s face. “You always knew how to look after me. Even when I didn’t deserve it.”

The comment causes Y/N to look away. Her eyes retreating back to the cafe window, as she leans back into her chair, reinstating the distance between them.

“I’ve really missed you.” Sebastian continues. “Y/N?” He reaches for her hand but she pulls away defensively.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Frustration escaping through the cracks of her voice.

“I just want to talk.”

“No. No we are done talking. I should have never said yes to this. You think you can just buy me coffee, remind me of all the good times and then…and then all our problems will magically disappear?” Becoming mindful of the people around them, Y/N attempts to reign in her volume. “Do you know how hard this last year has been for me?”

“You think it’s been easy for me?” Sebastian fights back. “You don’t think, that I don’t think about you every day, every second since you left?”

“Oh poor Sebastian.” Y/N mocks.

“I tried looking for you. I tried calling. I tried doing everything to find you, to tell you how sorry I am. You wanted me to never see Kaitlyn again? Done. I’ve cut off all contact with her, I’ve deleted her number. Not once has she crossed my mind since you left because the only person that matters is you.”

“You still don’t get it do you?” A single tear trickles down Y/N’s face. “All I wanted was to feel needed, to feel wanted by you.” She pauses, her heart breaking all over again. “I don’t know when the pin finally dropped but suddenly, you just didn’t see me anymore. I was just a person you came home to. Your "I love you’s” became an obligation. It took me a while but I know now that, Kaitlyn was just a way out for us. She a way out for you.“

"Y/N, don’t. That’s not true.” Sebastian could no longer bare looking at her. The same cowardice that held him hostage that night, turning the corner to haunt him once more.

“I know you loved me but we got complacent. That was always your biggest fear.” Slowly draping her bag onto her shoulder, Y/N finally rises to her feet. Looking down at Sebastian, who still refuses to meet her eyes, even for the last time. “I need you to move on. Go enjoy your life, do the things you want and…find someone that makes you happy.”

“And what will you do?” He finally finds the courage to whisper those words. His head remaining low, his body too defeated to find the strength to stop her from leaving. It’s what she wanted, he has no right to inconvenient her any longer.

Reaching out to rest her hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, Y/N recoils before he notices. She stares out at the window again, watching the people come and go obliviously, silently, contentedly.

“I’ll…live my life and I’ll be happy, whatever that may mean.”

Composing herself, Y/N wipes away the traces of tears on her face, ready to brave the outside world again. A world without him.

Is this what closure feels like? She questions.

“Bye Sebastian.” She mouths, her voice so low that she isn’t sure whether he picked it up. But it doesn’t matter.

Bye.

That word doesn’t even register in Sebastian’s head anymore as she disappears past him. His mind occupied by the statements still ringing in his ears. Too busy trying to run through every memory they shared over the past three years.

Is it all true?

Y/N was right about one thing. Sebastian’s greatest fear was that they’d become too comfortable in their relationship. To the point that everything the other person did, no longer bore the same novelty. To the point that their every action became a nuisance and eventually, they’d grow to resent each other.

He admits that their relationship was far from perfect and perhaps it did hit a point of stagnation. The more successful he became, the less time he spent at home and when he was there, his mind was somewhere else thinking about another project on the horizon. All those times, he’d walk past Y/N with his nose in a script. All those times, he’d usher her away because he was taking an 'important’ phone call. It all seems so trivial now.

He relegated her to a place where she felt she didn’t matter to him anymore, when that could be farther from the truth. Fame and fortune took its toll. The pressures of being a working actor and the fear of failure was something he couldn’t communicate to Y/N about. Maybe Kaitlyn was just an excuse for him to escape all that.

He loved Y/N more than anything in this world.

And he still loves her.

________________________________________________________________

Staring out into the city lights, Y/N rests her arms over the bridge. Suddenly New York sounds so quiet. Peaceful. If that were even possible.

She is one of a few on the bridge. The others, a street merchant behind her, selling handmade jewellery since the day started, and a handful of commuters walking sluggishly to the station ready to go home. A parallel to the bustling scene this morning.

The sky pitch black, not a star in sight but the moon, otherworldly; illuminating and watching over the city and its people.

Y/N closes her eyes, comforted by the quiet breeze blowing kindly against her skin. Clutching her chest, she begs for the incessant aching to cease. If New York can find peace, why can’t she?

Her flight leaves early tomorrow morning, yet she finds every excuse to stay just a little longer.“A few more minutes, let me take in the city for just a few more minutes.” She tells herself. After today, she plans to steer clear of this city for as long as needed; until she can disassociate New York from him.

Y/N turns around to the soft touch on her arm.

“Hello miss, I’m sorry to interrupt. I’m selling a collection of some very beautiful and one of a kind jewellery that I personally hand crafted myself. Would you care to have a look?” The middle aged woman smiles earnestly, her eyes tired and her blonde hair slightly dishevelled from the day.

“I’m fine thank you.”

“Please, you might find something you really like! They would make the perfect gift for a loved one, I have pieces for men and for women. I have rings, necklaces, earrings…” The merchant begins to take out several bracelets from her pocket to demonstrate against Y/N’s wrist, which she reluctantly abides to. “In fact, if you come to my stall you’ll see I’ve recently created this gorgeous line of ruby jewellery, just right for a beautiful woman like you. That gentlemen over there just picked up one of my favourite pieces.”

Y/N looks up in the direction to which the woman points.

“Sir! Wouldn’t you recommend my work to this beautiful young woman here? It’s well worth your money isn’t it?” She shouts to the man standing behind them.

“Yeah…they’re very lovely.” He clears his throat, his eyes focusing solely on Y/N. “Could you excuse us for a moment?”

Y/N attempts to hurry past the confused the woman before Sebastian grabs hold of her hand. The woman watches with her mouth slightly agape, unsure whether she should intervene.

“No no, it’s okay. We know each other.” Sebastian reassures the street merchant, who nods slowly and returns to her stall. She watches the couple closely, alert in case she needs to call for help.

“Let go.” Y/N tries to pry his hands off her wrist.

“Not until you hear me out.”

“Let go now or I’ll scream.”

“No. You’ve said your piece, don’t you think I deserve the same opportunity?” Sebastian pulls her closer, forcing her to look at him.

Y/N’s struggles against him weakens, she glances at the woman watching them and quickly looks away embarrassed that this was all being played out in public. “What more could you possibly say?”

“You have every right to hate me.”

“Ha!” Y/N laughs sardonically. She decides to stop her efforts to rid Sebastian’s grip on her. She’ll allow him to finish and if needed, kick her way off this bridge if she has to.

“I was never caring enough, considerate enough.” He continues. “I thought my success would make up for everything else I was lacking and by doing that, I didn’t realise how far I pushed you away.”

Y/N turns her head from him, choosing to look over the bridge and into the city instead.

“There was never a second in those three years that I didn’t love you. Even now, I don’t think I can properly compute just how much I still do. You’re the only woman I do see and you’re the only woman who sees me…You mean more to me than you will ever know and the only thing that scares me now, is that you’ll leave here thinking otherwise.” Sebastian releases his hold on her, allowing Y/N to stand willingly by herself.

With her head still turned, Sebastian can see the tears quietly falling against her cheek.

“Y/N?” Sebastian pulls her into his chest, holding her head gently his hand.

“I can’t do this again.” Y/N cries.

“And you won’t. I won’t let this happen to us again. If it means my career taking a backseat, if it means I start taking on the little projects so I can be with you. So be it.”

“No. I don’t want that.” Y/N pulls away, finally looking at him. Sebastian’s gently cups her blushed cheeks, his thumb wiping away her tears which were still escaping her eyes. “I don’t want you to sacrifice doing the things you love.”

“Then what? You tell me and I’ll do it.” Sebastian whispers.

“I don’t know…talk to me? Share things with me? I don’t want us to be strangers.”

“We won’t. I promise. I have so much I’ve wanted to tell you but have just been too scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That…you’ll see just how weak I really am.”

“Sebastian.” Y/N blinks back her tears so that she could finally see him more clearly. “You’re not weak. Just stupid.”

Sebastian smiles.

“I know how much you worry about your career and finding your place in the industry but no matter what happens, even if you lose all your money and your fame. It will never change my opinion of you. I fell in love with you, not the fancy actor.”

“I know.” Sebastian gazes down at Y/N. In this moment he cannot figure out why he ever doubted that. He lowers his head, tenderly placing a soft and longing kiss on Y/N’s lips. Her kiss, her scent even more perfect than he had remembered. Pulling away, he rests his forehead against hers. “So, are you still going back to Chicago?”

“I don’t know.” Y/N sighs.

Entwining his fingers into hers, Sebastian slowly leads her away from the side of the bridge.“You can make that decision tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Y/N rests her head against his arm. Finally feeling the peace that she had sought long and hard for, she no longer needs the breeze to bring her comfort. She has found her peace, which always remained with Sebastian. She allows herself to be guided by him, holding her tightly next to him.

They both wave to the street merchant, as they leave. Her genuine smile sending them her deepest blessings as they disappear from sight.

“So what did you buy from that lady?” Y/N enquires curiously.

“It’s a gift.” Sebastian smiles to himself. His finger inside his pocket, circling the Ruby band.