Memories
Chapter two- Memories
At first, Peter couldn’t see. He could only hear, the sound of repulsors and the hum of infinity stones surrounding him.
Then, the world burst into life, the light harsh on his eyes. When he could finally see well, he looked around and realized he was on Titan. Then, before he could think, he was moving, running, and swinging around. He was vaguely aware of his own body, vaguely aware of Tony battling Thanos.
Thanos.
As soon as he remembered, Peter felt a sense of dread go through his spine, the hairs on his arms standing up. But, still moving, he watched as Thanos stabbed Tony, then how Strange gave up the time stone.
The scene was familiar, but Peter didn’t pay attention to that. He waited, the sense of dread rapidly building up in his stomach. Something was wrong.
Then, it felt like something had exploded inside of him. His spidey senses went haywire, and his whole body felt like it was on fire. He felt his body trying to fight off whatever was happening to him, but it only made the pain worse. He watched hazily as Star-Lord, the tattooed guy, the insect-lady, and Doctor Strange all turned to dust.
At first, he thought he imagined it, but after a few seconds, he realized it was real. Then, he looked at his hands. Right in front of him, they were dissolving, and he could feel every single atom on his body get ripped apart. The pain was excruciating, and he felt like he was on the verge of passing out. But, he managed to stumble forward, and he felt himself start talking to Tony.
He collapsed into Tony’s arms, and at that moment, he realized he was dying. After this, he would be gone. As soon as that realization hit, he remembered what Tony had said.
“And if you die, I feel like that’s on me.”
Tony would blame himself for Peter’s death. Immediately, he started apologizing to him. He apologized over and over, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough. He knew that Tony would blame himself for Peters’s death.
He shouldn’t, Peter thought. He shouldn’t have to be burdened by him. Peter was a nuisance, and Tony didn’t deserve the guilt of his death. If anything, he should just let him d-
Before he could finish his thought, he blacked out, the burning pain finally was gone. But, the blissful silence only lasted for a moment before he was awake again. When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that he was surrounded by orange. His first thought was that he was still on Titan, but as he took more in, he knew that want the case.
He was on a completely flat plane, and on the ground, there were a couple of inches of water. The sky was orange, stretching around him for miles. In the distance, he could make out a few distant figures and tried to get up and run to them. He immediately collapsed, a burning sensation going through his legs.
Again, he tried to stand, this time slower. His whole body was burning now, but at least he could stand. He slowly started making his way towards the figures and realized that they were headed in his direction too. For a moment, he was wary, thinking they might be hostile. But then he remembered that he had absolutely no idea where he was, and he needed to find someone else.
After a little while, he finally started getting closer to the figures. He could make out at least ten figures and hoped that they could help.
When they finally reached each other, he realized that there were a few people he could recognize. There was Star-Lord, the tattoo guy, Mantis, a green lady, and what looked like a talking tree. He also recognized the Falcon, Winter Soldier, and the Black Panther, Doctor Strange, and another girl who looked like a teenager.
They stepped closer to him, and it must have been apparent that he was scared, because Strange said, “Hey kid, you’re good now. No need to panic.”
As some of the others began to recognize him, they all started talking to him, which left him very confused. The Winter Soldier finally shut them up with a loud shout, and they all quieted. He looked at Peter and said, “Hey, are you the kid from the airport?”
Peter nodded, wary of what he might think of him.
The soldier breathed out a sigh, frustration mixed with concern. “Damn kid, you pack one hell of a punch. I guess you also got dusted.”
Peter gave him a confused look. What the hell did getting dusted mean?
The green lady must have sensed his confusion because she stepped forward and asked him, “Did you get all dusty, blackout, then wake up here?”
Peter nodded and remembered his last moments on Titan. The burning pain that his body was in intensified as he remembered the feeling of his body getting ripped apart. ‘Are we dead?”
The question seemed to surprise her, but she quickly recovered. “Not quite. Were in a place between life and death, a sort of purgatory. I think we’re in the soul world, trapped inside the infinity stones.”
Peter pretended to understand what she meant, even though half the words she said sounded like gibberish. It was then that he realized the other people in the group had no idea who he was. “Uh, well, that’s just wonderful. I’m Peter, by the way. Or Spider-man.”
The guy who he recognized as Black Panther looked slightly taken aback. “You are the Spider-man? But you are a child, barely older than Shuri!”
Peter felt his face flush and looked to the other people in the group before he could continue. “And who are you guys?”
Even though he recognized some of the people in the group, he realized he had no idea what their real names were. They stepped forward one by introducing themselves by their real names, along with their superhero counterparts. The green lady, who he now knew was called Gamora, explained to him that he and the other people he met on Titan were called the guardians of the galaxy. He thought to himself that they clearly didn’t do their job very well, but go off.
After all the introductions, Strange and Gamora (who seemed to be the informal leaders of the group) said that they should keep walking. As they began, the teenaged girl, Shuri, approached him.
“Hey! Your powers are so cool. How do you stick to things? I tried figuring out in my lab, but all I did was glue myself to the ceiling for an hour.” She spoke fast, even with her accent, but Peter was glad for her enthusiasm.
“Oh, uh, thanks, I think. I actually do it on my own; after I got my powers, I could just stick to stuff.”
“Woah, no way! That explains so much. How did you get powers? Have you tried figuring out what makes your body stick to things? There’s probably some reason, it’s not just magic.”
Her enthusiasm was almost contagious, and Peter could tell she was smart. But, he also just found out that he had essentially died, and he was still in burning pain. He had no clue what was going on, he didn’t really know any of the people around him, and they were walking for some reason. To say the least, Peter wasn’t in the mood.
He tried to change the subject, asking Shuri where they were going.
“Oh, well, after everyone got dusted and woke up here, we were all kind of spread apart. We all found each other and been going around trying to find more. This place is just an endless plain, so we’re just trying to find as many as we can. Weirdly though, most of the people we find are asleep.”
Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean asleep?”
Shuri frowned, contemplating. “Well, we’re not really sure. Just, most of the time, when we find someone, they’re lying on the ground. They have a pulse, and they’re breathing, but whenever we try to wake them up, they don’t do anything. It’s almost like they’re in a coma.”
---
Peter didn’t wake up with a start. But when he did wake up, he was sweating, and his body was tingling all over.
As he sat up on the couch, he realized it was still dark out. When he glanced at the clock, it read 4:30 am. His mind was spinning, the dream he had still played through his head. It was all so vivid, and he couldn’t help but feel a weird sense of deja vu like he’d experienced it before. It somehow felt… almost familiar.
He got up and opened the window. He needed some fresh air, and everyone was to busy to notice a kid climbing up the wall. He made his way to the roof of the apartment and sat on the edge, letting his legs dangle off the side.
As he thought about the dream, he became more and more confused. There was no way he could know that the Falcons name was Sam, or that the Black Panther had a teenaged sister named Shuri. He just wouldn’t be able to know information like that. He pulled out his phone, trying to see if he could google it, before realizing that it didn’t work anymore.
But still, even without the confirmation from his overlord Google, there was something in the back of his mind telling him that he was right. The dream almost wasn’t a dream. There was no way that he could just imagine up all of that information.
But, if it wasn’t a dream, then that meant that it was real. And then it hit Peter.
A memory.
It was a memory, it had to be. They were talking about getting dusted, Thanos, the stones.
That was where he went after he died.
He went to that place, the soul world. How had he not realized it before? After he made the realization, the dream became clearer, as if the memory was coming back to him.
Little moments started appearing in his head too. He saw a snipped of Shuri laughing at something he said, a glimpse of Strange shaking his head at something he did. He saw himself sparring with Gamora, or annoying Sam and Bucky.
He didn’t remember much from the so-called ‘soul world,’ but the memories felt like he was getting something back that he didn’t even realize was missing. He wondered why no one brought it up before. Were other people also just starting to remember? Or was everyone just too busy to talk about it?
Those questions only left Peter more confused, wondering about the time he spent there. A thought hit him, and he struggled to think about what it meant.
Had he been in there for five years?
It made sense that he would have been. Everyone went there after they got dusted, so he could only assume that they stayed there until Tony snapped everyone back. But still, it unnerved Peter how much time he must have spent in that endless realm.
He spent the rest of the night on the roof, only going back inside when the sun was peeking over the horizon. He decided to make breakfast for him and May since he figured, if they had some stuff to catch up on, might as well do it over breakfast.
Once May woke up, Peter was done making french toast and omelets.
She walked into the room, smelling the delicious meal. “Hey Peter, what’s all this? Don’t tell me you woke up early to make this, you were supposed to be resting!”
Peter flinched slightly at the disapproving sound in her voice, but she just yawned and sat down at the table.
“Oh, I kind of woke up early, so I just decided to make us some breakfast.”
She ruffled his hair and beamed at him. “Oh, I forgot how sweet you were. Well, I guess we have some catching up to do, huh? Its been five years; I need to tell you whats happened!”
The mention of his five-year absence sent a lurch to his stomach, but he smiled, knowing that May was happy.
They ended up talking for two hours, empty plates from breakfast sitting under them. May spoke about her life in the past five years. She told him all about how he became friends with Tony and Pepper, then grew to love Harley and Morgan. On and on, she talked about what a “great kid Harley was” and how Morgan was “so smart, just like her dad.”
Even though Peter was happy for her, glad that she had found a family, every mention she made of Tony’s kids made him both angry and sad. On the one hand, he felt anger at the fact that he had missed out on so much of this life, that he was so absent from Tony’s life. He was angry that Harley filled that hole, and that May had become an aunt to someone that wasn’t him.
But then, he also just felt lonely. He knew that Tony had his perfect family. He had his wife, his kids, Rhodey, even May. But it just wouldn’t have room for him. Tony and May had moved on, left him in the past. And now that he was back, he was just forcing them to bring back old memories of him. He was just burdening them, taking up room that wasn’t his.
The longer the conversation went on, the more awful he felt. The anger, loneliness, and sadness built up inside him. But then another part of him fought those emotions, saying that he had no right to feel like that. He was the one who left, and he couldn’t blame anyone for what they did after. He was just selfish, wanting May and Tony all for himself.
His internal battle went on, and he was relieved when May finally said that she would be going out to get groceries. Peter went to take a shower, trying not to think about his emotions or anything at all.
Once he got in the shower, he looked down and saw a massive bruise on his rib. When he looked closer, he realized he had a nasty cut slicing down his side. He cleaned out the dirt and sweat and saw that it wasn’t too deep. It stung like hell, though, and he was shocked that he didn’t notice it before. He seriously didn’t feel it at all.
Once he got out, he found May’s first aid kit and dressed the wound. He decided not to tell anybody, figuring they would just fuss over ut too much. He was still puzzled as to how he didn’t notice the pain before because after he realized it was there, its presence was very prominent in his side.
Peter tried to brush off the pain and then realized that he had nothing to do. He didn’t have a phone, he didn’t know if…. his friends were still the same age as him, he didn’t even recognize the neighborhood he lived in.
His mind began to spiral - again. He thought about Ned and MJ, even Flash. He realized he had no information on what happened to them. For all he knew, they could be in college right now. They could have moved on, found other friends.
He felt his breaths quicken as he thought of everything. They had probably all moved on, his entire grade probably graduated without him, and now he was alone.
He was breathing faster now, half-breaths making his head swim. His vision was beginning to blur, and he stumbled to his knees. Panic rose in his chest, and he felt like his throat was closing.
He immediately thought he was having an asthma attack. His instinct kicked in, and he reached for an inhaler, only to remember that he hadn’t needed one since the spider bite.
Slowly, while lying on the floor, his breathing evened out, and he could see clearly again. The fear and panic that had gripped him earlier subsided, but the lingering feeling of anxiety lingered.
He had no idea what happened, so he just started thinking about Ned and MJ again.
As he went down into the whirlpool of his own thoughts, multiple memories appeared in his head, clear as day. He remembered another snippet from the soul world. He was himself shaking Ned, who looked like he was asleep. Another memory showed him doing the exact same thing, except with MJ. In both memories, they wouldn’t wake up.
As soon a the memories appeared, his train of thought stopped. If he remembered seeing Ned and MJ in the soul world, even if they were asleep, it meant that they got dusted. It must have. Which said that they didn’t move on!
Peter was overjoyed, knowing that his closest friends were still his age. But, as soon as his excitement came, it vanished. He realized that his friends had died, just like him. Immediately, he felt selfish. He only cared about himself, knowing that he still had friends. MJ and Ned had to leave their families behind and wake up in a whole new world like him.
He groaned and let himself fall onto the couch. He felt exhausted, continually worrying about the snap and having had that weird not-asthma attack. He fell asleep, not realizing that he would see even more of the soul world.