(Dark State of Mind) - Without You I Don't Feel at Home
It had been six days and Tony felt like he could erupt at any given moment. Every second of these past few days had him wanting nothing more than to rip Justin Hammer limb from limb after hugging both of his kids for two weeks straight. His heart had never felt anxiety like this. He knew that Morgan was safe right now. Hammer had said as much, that Mo was only there as insurance to keep Peter in line. Tony knew that as long as it was up to Peter, not a hair would be touched on his daughter’s head. That was what concerned him. Peter Parker, guilt trip extraordinaire, would let Hammer do absolutely anything he wanted to him.
Tony had thrown up uncontrollably during the two videos that Hammer had sent. The first had seen Peter, immobilized and gagged as he was tied to a chair. The kid looked horrible. Worse than horrible. His face was bloodied and bruised. The gag didn’t offer his kid a chance to speak.
Despite the multiple cuts on the kid’s arms, Tony’s biggest worry had been the kid’s eyes. He looked like he… wasn’t there. There was a complete disconnect in the kid’s eyes. His cheeks were flushed and he looked drugged to his eyelids. Hammer had rambled on and on about how much Tony must hate Peter, but Tony hadn’t wanted anything more than to wrap his kid tightly in his arms and hold him until he was okay again.
If the first video wasn’t bad enough, Tony had collapsed to his knees when Hammer had injected Peter with whatever was in the bottle. He had felt so sick, watching the kid’s entire body seizing and shaking as he emitted a sound that Tony prays he would never have to hear again.
Tony hated Hammer. He hated Justin Hammer more than he had hated anyone else in his entire life. He wanted to do everything to Hammer that Hammer had done to Peter and more. Tony was having such intrusive thoughts that he wouldn’t dare to speak them to anyone.
It had been two days since the last video email had been sent to him when Rhodey had walked into the lab. He had taken one look at Tony and his entire mood fell. Rhodes walked over to where his friend was sat, staring listlessly at the first video that Hammer had sent, and told Friday to turn the video off.
“Tones, you have to take a break. Natasha, Barnes, and Rogers are on this for today. You need to shower, eat, and sleep. We can come back tomorrow.” Tony just shook his head. He didn’t know when he had last eaten… or slept for that matter. But, until his kids were safely tucked in his arms, none of it mattered to him. Tony was stuck staring at the computer screen until Rhodey knelt right in front of his office chair. His best friend’s eyes are concerned like Tony had never seen them before. A warm hand was laid on Tony’s arm.
“Tony, I need you to take a break.” Tony, head pounding, nodded softly.
“I don’t know how.” He whispered, a sob catching in his throat as he dropped forward, collapsing into his friend’s arms.
“I know. I know, I’ve got you. We will get them back. Justin isn’t a genius Tony, and he can’t hide forever.” Tony nodded, knowing just how true this was. Hammer was no genius, but he was driven by wrath wrapped neatly in a suit and tie. And as long as Peter and Morgan were being held in an undisclosed location, Tony would be terrified.
“How much more can he take?” Tony asked to no one as Rhodey pulled him to his feet. Tony would have stumbled forward if not for the sturdy arms holding him up. Rhodey had been holding him up for his entire life. “He would give his life for Morgan, but I don’t know how much more he can take.” Tony whispered.
“We will get them back, okay? Come on, you need a shower, you smell worse than Barton after he goes on a run.”
By the time Tony had showered and eaten, Pepper had come home from her day of meetings. She had taken one look between Tony and Rhodes, and took her husband by the arm. Wrapping his arm around her waist she smiled sadly.
“Why don’t we go sleep, huh?” Pepper whispered quietly into Tony’s ear. He loved her. He loved her with every inch of his being. Tony nodded, words not coming to him. He followed her - he would follow her for the rest of his life - to their room, brushing his teeth before collapsing into the bed beside her.
He tried to hold it in. He did everything he could to keep from crying as Pepper walked from the bathroom, hair still wrapped in a towel from her shower. But when she had tucked herself into the blankets beside him, wrapping her arms around his chest, all of his self control fell to pieces. One sob was ripped from his chest.
“Oh, honey -” Pepper whispered, sitting up enough to pull Tony’s head against her chest, running her lithe fingers through his clean locks as she hushed him. “We will get them. Not only do we have every Avenger ever working to find them, but we have SHIELD agents doing everything in their power. It won’t be long now.” She held Tony until his cries turned into quiet snores before she folded herself into his arms, a tear slipping from her eye as she calmed herself enough to sleep.