(Lose You) - To Let You Go
Peter just wanted to have a break. He was done. He wanted to be done. He wanted to never be spoken to again, for the rest of his life. He wanted to sleep and not be disturbed. He was almost to the point of just wanting Hammer to push him too far. For his body to be unable to handle the pain anymore.
And just as his mind had begun to think those dark thoughts, Morgan would shift against his side, her tiny hand wrapping itself firmly in his. Peter’s greatest relief in this entire experience from hell was that Morgan had remained unharmed. Even the bruising she had gained from the car accident had faded into a faint purple, almost unnotice-able even to Peter’s enhanced senses. She had remained quite vigilant in this time. Only having broken down once or twice. She had drawn and drawn, then began writing a story. It was an epic tale about Iron Man and Thor (she had an obsession with the god of Thunder) saving Peter and herself. Peter had smiled while reading it, happy to see that she was putting her time to good use.
Whenever he would be brought into their cell at the end of a hard day, she would make sure he laid gently on the cot and give him whatever water she had successfully hidden in the room. She had tried saving her food for him once, but the guards had burst into the room, anger and rage obvious in their voices. Peter had placated them, telling them he wouldn’t touch it. They didn’t seem to mind when she shared her water.
He had racked his brain over and over again to find a solution. A way to escape, but he couldn’t take any chances. Tony had always told him that if this ever happened, just to hold tight. If he saw an opportunity, take it but lay low. Don’t cause disturbance, don’t make it worse on yourself. Peter was doing everything he could, but Hammer was psychotic. He wanted nothing more than to hurt Tony, and to hurt Tony Stark you had to hurt someone that he loved. Or in this case, two someones. Because even though Morgan wasn’t physically harmed, this would be imprinted on her mind forever. She would never forget being trapped with Peter who was growing more and more incoherent and ill. The images that she had seen, the blood and bruises and pain… these were things that she would never forget. Ever. And Peter hated himself for it.
He wanted to be strong for her, but like when he was in the middle of the ferry as it was split in half, he couldn’t hold on to everything that was weighing him down. He couldn’t keep it all together. His arms were being stretched. Pain that started in his shoulders and ached all the way in his spine. He would never be able to do this alone. He needed Tony. Last time he had been so sure. Sure that he could hold it by himself. Sure that he could fix it. But now, as he lay on this bed waiting for this morning light to turn on, he knew that this wouldn’t be something he could do alone.
When Hammer arrived the next morning, something was different. He had walked in alone, holding the small remote to Morgan’s bracelet. Peter’s spider-sense was going absolutely wild as his hands shook. He tucked Morgan behind him, sitting against the wall on the bed. The young Stark was hiding under the blankets as best she could.
Hammer just leaned against the wall, watching the two of them in silence. Just as Peter thought he was going insane and imagining the man standing there, Hammer cleared his throat and looked down at his hands.
“Mr. Parker. It has come to my attention that Miss Stark is no longer needed in this… revenge act.” Peter felt every hair on his body stand up, his heart having been electrified as Hammer ran his fingers over the button on the remote, but he said nothing. In kidnapping situations, when someone became useless, they were removed from the situation. Violently. He couldn’t let that happen. Hammer let Peter revel in his fear before pushing himself up off the wall. “But, I don’t want to kill her. I will if I have to - but I don’t really want to. I’m not a monster.” Hammer said before throwing his head back in laughter.
“Here is the thing - I love ultimatums. So, Spider-Man, you get to decide. Option one, Miss Stark stays here with us. She remains unharmed, and you get two days off, a full day of meals and even showers in private quarters. New clothes, and fresh accommodations.” Peter gulped. This sounded like something he would give up anything for. “But, you have to make a video explaining to dear Mr. Stark that you were the reason his daughter remained in captivity. You chose materials over the freedom of his only child. The child that he loves the most.” Hammer pauses, letting this sink in. Peter knows, he knows that the next offer will be what he has to choose, no matter how much he would kill for the first. “The second option sees us sending the Princess back home. Alive, well, and unharmed. You will even get a video from Tony and her together, letting you know that she made it back.” He knew that he would choose this. “But, you will be put through… well let’s just say one of my men can be very creative with his torture methods. It will be the worst twenty-four hours of your life. Then you will get a two day break. No new accommodations. You’ll get your one meal and your water. That is all.” Hammer smirked, the knowledge that either one would break Peter at the forefront of his mind. “You have an hour to decide.” He said before stalking out of the room, a smirk plastered on his arrogant face.
Peter sat, his heart pounding in his chest as Morgan tucked herself into his side. Selfishly, he desperately wanted her to stay with him. Not only for the break that his damaged body so desperately needed, or the food that his stomach was dying for, but for the fact that he didn’t know if he could do this alone. He needed to have someone to hold on to, some silver lining on the clouds of this nightmare, and that was Morgan. He didn’t know how he would breathe without her. Tony would hate him. More than he already did. He would think that Peter was disgustingly selfish. He would never save Peter if he did this.
He would let her go. He would get to see Tony’s face, hear Tony’s voice, relish in the knowledge that Morgan was safe in her father’s arms. He would hope and pray that Tony would continue his search. He feared he might not live long enough to find out. That his body would choose to let go when he stopped having something to hold on for. At this point, he was begging for any type of relief that he might get.
The hour passed so quickly. Peter asked Morgan about her drawings while not listening to a single explanation that she gave. She hadn’t understood what Hammer had said, and Peter couldn’t bring himself to think about it without feeling like dying. Morgan went on and on as Peter let himself curl around her, begging her to not leave him while knowing that he would do anything for her to get to go home.
When Hammer walked back in the room, Peter’s hands shook so violently that the chains rattled. He was exhausted. Not the tired that came from the pain or physical torture he had recieved. It was a bone deep, soul-grinding tired that he feared would never leave his body.
“Well, Mr. Parker, what was your consensus?” He waited, knowing this would be the hardest decision that Peter had ever had to make.
“Take her home.” He whispered, his voice broken and exhausted.
“What was that, sorry - I just couldn’t seem to hear you.” Peter felt his chin wobble as he looked down.
“Take her to her dad. That’s my decision.” Hammer took a step forward.
“You have… resigned yourself to a torture that you have not experienced yet in your life. No relief, no breaks. A torture that will leave you begging to die… are you certain this is the choice you are wanting to make?” A tear did come then. Peter felt it drop onto his arm. He nodded twice, gripping at Morgan.
“I’ll arrange for everything in the morning. Enjoy your last night together.” The door slammed shut with a brutal finality.