Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the MCU (or at this point SONY) nor do I profit from this work.
This story deals with depression and suicidal themes. If you are experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts please call a help line or ask a friend for help and support. You are not alone, you are important.
It was late at night and Spiderman was doing what Spiderman does, swinging across the city stopping crime where he could and generally just making his presence known to all those still awake to look for him. Internally however Peter Parker was revising for the math’s test that was less than 18 hours away. He loved these late night hours when most people were either asleep in their beds or just getting up to begin the long hours of night shift, the noise of the ever present traffic was lessened and with less people walking the streets below Peter was able to fling himself higher and fall just a little further than normal, the feeling strangely similar to but more freeing than floating below the surface of calm water.
It was on this night that as Spiderman swung past the tall apartment buildings, catching small glimpses into the lives of all those that lived within, that a shape soft against the starless sky, almost invisible really, raised the hairs along Peter’s arm. Halting his lazy swing skyward with another bolt of webs Peter took a moment to discern why the small hunched shadow made his senses shudder in warning. It was a woman, no more than 25, she sat on the sharp edge of the building with her legs dangled carelessly over the edge, bare toes pointed lazily to the ground far below. Spiderman released one of his webs to land against the side of the building before scurrying up to sit beside the still figure looking up into the dimly moonlit night.
“Hi, my name is Spiderman. What’s your name?” Peter asked idly, swinging his legs against the side of the tall building, looking more childlike in that moment than when whooping out of pure joy through the streets on thin lines of webbing.
“Corrie” the shadowed figure answered, never once taking her eyes off the distant skyline.
“Cool, how did you get up here Corrie? There isn’t a door.” Peter spoke softly, afraid that if he didn’t the woman might startle and tip forward.
“Climbed.” Again, a one word answer.
“Well, do you want a hand down?” Peter ventured feeling ill at ease with the whole situation. This wasn’t the first jumper he had helped from the ledge or caught on the way down but something about this one felt different. “or maybe I could call someone for you?”
“No, I’m just waiting.” Corrie answered.
“Cool, Cool. What are you waiting for?” Peter tries to keep his voice calm, unfortunately he wasn’t doing a good job of it. Something about this woman was making it hard, he just couldn’t work out what it was.
“You’re younger than people think.” Corrie stated more than questioned as she finally shifted her gaze from the small moon behind the distant buildings. “But more grown than you should be.” Corrie’s eyes now that Peter could see were the warmest earth brown he had even seen.
“Sounds about right, but it also doesn’t answer my question Corrie.” The pit in Peter’s stomach growing deeper with every passing minute that he sat here on the cold and poorly lit rooftop.
Corrie sat quietly with her eyes once again gazing off into the distant night, almost like they were drawn to some far off destination that she would rather be. Almost a full five minutes passed before She seemed to draw strength from the night into herself, enough to force more words out into the cold air.
“Are you feeling it?” The question was spoken so softly that even Peter struggled to hear.
“… I’m feeling something, uuuhhh odd.” Peter responded only slightly louder than the question was asked, almost as though afraid of his own answer.
Corrie closed her eyes, tilting her face upwards like so many do to feel the sun on their faces. Only Corrie instead of smiling into a bright warm sun seemed to sink deeper into herself, shrinking from the dull sliver of moon that hung over the city like a sleepy eye. “I come here sometimes because when people are around me, they feel uneasy or like they lost something important and I can feel it. I can feel what they feel, but always it’s like I’m that little bit separate.” Now that she had started it was as if the words themselves wanted to be heard, the weight of them bowing her head. “I lived with someone you know. She was my best friend, had been for years and with her I didn’t mind sharing our feelings. She was so fun and happy and when she met someone the feeling of love that she would emanate made all the bad go away. She was the light to my dark.”
Peter didn’t dare speak and interrupt for fear that Corrie would stop her tale. Instead he sat running his gloved fingers across the rough surface of the bricks in an intricate pattern.
“Up here there is no-one to hurt, no-one to fill my head with all their busyness. Lilian, Lily that was her name, she’s dead now. My best friend, the only person that was ever able to resist the pit of feelings and it finally overtook her and it killed her.” Tears that had barely been held back by sheer force of will spilled down Corrie’s face at the mention of her lost friend’s name.
“How, when did it start?” Peter asked, giving a slight nod of his head before removing his mask and placing it in his lap.
“I had depression even as a kid, but then at about thirteen my mutant gene kicked in and I got kicked out. Turns out my parentals’ could only take my difference if they could hide it away, but the second they had to feel it, maybe even deal with it, it was all too hard for them.” Another tear slipped down Corrie’s dusky check, “Guess you can’t get that fancy promotion when every time your boss comes over, he leaves wanting to kill himself”
The casual observer, should they look up, would see the two and think of them as nothing more than sky gazers taking advantage of the dimly lit area in another wise fluorescent city. The two shadowy figures sitting side by side talking in soft whispers before succumbing to the beauty of the night sky. The two continued to sit in that comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts, Corrie’s of her time when she still had a home before her time of change and Peter thinking of all the love and support he had growing up with from his Aunty and Uncle.
Corrie turned to look at her unexpected companion of the night, wiping her tear stained check she spoke in a conversational tone for the first time since their meeting “Shouldn’t you be getting home? I’m sure you have school in a couple of hours.”
Peter took a chance “I do, but I’m waiting.” his words echoing her earlier ones.
“Waiting? For what?” Corrie asked.
“I called a friend, he knows someone that might be able to help you.” Peter supplied putting on his biggest puppy dog eyes.
Corrie, feeling the compassion and earnest desire to help emanate from the small figure beside her, chooses to hear out the baby hero who had yet to grow into even his own skin let alone the skin of a hero. “So, who is this healer of freaks that you have summoned in the middle of the night to save your damsel in distress? And how did you manage to summon the cavalry without me knowing?”. Corrie chuckled at her attempted humor.
Peter grinned back at Corrie “Weeellll, this suit was a gift from Mr. Stark and it has an A.I. I used that to send an email to him, he then called a man call Professor Xavier. The professor helps people learn to control their unique gifts. Any way Mr. Stark then sent me a message via the suit to say that Xavier was sending his people.” All of this was said in a breathy rush. “they will be here soon. Please let them help you.”
Another few minutes ticked by as both sat in silence before Corrie could answer “I will go with them, but can I call you or email? I don’t want either of us to be alone.” Corrie reached out and clasped Peter’s hand “Please?”
The fear Peter heard made him tighten his hand in hers giving and receiving comfort against the fear and loneliness that leaked from the warm body next to his. “Anytime, I will always be here for you.”
Corrie’s frail laugh was drowned out by the sound of a small jet engine landing on a nearby rooftop. “I don’t even know your name.”
“It’s Peter, Peter Parker. But please don’t tell anyone, my Aunt May doesn’t know about this, she would just worry too much.”
Peter redonned his mask as two people walked out of the small aircraft. “It was nice meeting you, I hope you find the help you need.”
Peter and Corrie hugged goodbye before Spiderman once again took to the sky, flinging himself into the softening darkness that was the dawn of a bright new day. He stopped briefly to watch as his new friend and confidant was ushered into the maw of the waiting craft before he flung himself further into the distance. Spiderman continued this frenzied pace for miles until he left the city and its people behind before flinging himself to the cold and damp ground. There he tore off his restrictive mask and custom suit.
Fingers dug deep into the same earth that stained his now bent knees Peter released the scream that had been building deep in his chest from the moment he had sat down beside his new friend and confidant. He didn’t know how long he screamed and cried into the empty field, releasing all the pain and sorrow that not even he was aware that his soul carried since the death of first his parents, then his uncle Ben. It was only the quiet hand of Tony Stark on his shoulder that brought Peter out of his pain. “It’s time to go home kid.” Tony’s voice whispered softly as he helped the grieving boy to his feet before darkness overtook the physically and emotionally worn out young man.
When Peter woke again it was in the safety of his own bed, tucked up and warm. Looking around Peter spied the clock on his desk it read 3:58 pm. He had missed a good part of the day and his test.
A note next to the clock labeled “Kid” in Tony’s messy scrawl stopped the panic that threatened to overtake Peter. Getting out of bed he picked it up to read whatever parting words Tony had thought to leave.
Peter
Your suit’s AI filled me in on what happened. You have an appointment tomorrow after school with a friend. She can help if you let her.
Happy will drive you
Tony.
P.S. Tell your Aunty, everything.
The friend Mr. Stark mentioned was one Dr Belinda Larson, head shrink, who just happened to specialize in combat conditions such as PTSS and something called ‘Traumatic Mutation Realization’.
Peter spent the first few sessions with the Doctor trying to stay on lighter topics such as the test he missed, what girl he liked at school, even some of the hobbies he shared with his best friend. It wasn’t until four weeks in, after he heard from Corrie again that it all came to a head and he finally started to think of the benefits of the twice weekly appointments.
Corrie had sent an email telling Peter about the new school she attended after the week of semi-isolation, the time it took for the teachers to help her create a mental shield that protected herself and others. She also said that she was talking with the schools off site counselor. Being with those like her and working through her grief was making it easier for her to control the powers she had been gifted and had given her an idea of what path she wanted to follow in the future.
It was that email that seemed to open a small gap in the mental wall Peter had built around his two personalities, that of Spider-man and that of Peter Parker.
Finally allowing him to start feeling comfortable and confident with everything he could be and was. Though he wasn’t able just yet to tell Aunty May everything.
Just yet.