Chapter 2
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Steve lived in the city his whole life, had always been used to crowded areas, too much noise and lights everywhere. It had been difficult for him at times during the war when they would be in a small town or somewhere deserted with not many people but he always felt a bit better once there were more people around, felt like it was a bit like home. Now, there are still people everywhere but it is different than how Steve remembers, crowded and loud in way that doesn’t feel as familiar to him and sometimes it makes him miss everything so much more. The world is so different and he is still adjusting but at least right now he has someone to help him, someone willing to show him some of the city now.
“SHIELD coffee isn’t the worst, I have drank my fair share of it and there are very few instances of bad coffee but you should branch out a bit more. This place is great, they also have good pie.”
Clint is muttering this beside Steve as they walk the street, as Clint leads him to a coffee shop near the headquarters. It is hasn’t even been a month since the battle of New York and Steve has been spending him time at SHIELD to try to pass the time. They had been training together today and when it was over, Steve was going to get some coffee from the cafeteria but Clint stopped him, offered to show him a local shop and Steve agreed, doesn’t mind spending time with Clint.
“I like pie with my coffee. “
Steve says this now and Clint gives him a quick smile.
“We can get you a piece as well, they should have apple if you want to stick to your all American theme.”
“Apple is good but I prefer cherry.”
Steve says this and Clint makes a dramatic face of shock before muttering something about all the history books lying about Cap’s favorite pie and the little teasing is nice. They chat till they get to the little shop and Steve likes it almost instantly. It is small and cozy and smells great as they walk in the door. They go up to the counter and order and the woman up front smiles at Steve and also looks at the inside of his wrist, something people seem to do a lot of now days. He goes and sits with Clint to wait on their order and comments on it.
“I think she is about the tenth person to glance at my wrist, still don’t quite get why that is a thing now.”
Steve says this and Clint just gives a little shrug.
“They are trying to see if you have a soul mark, it is a common place for them. Not everyone has one but people still like to check. You can cover your wrist if you want, give them a little mystery.”
Steve is still learning about the marks, still adjusting to the idea of them and what Clint says makes sense. He almost wants to ask if that is why Clint covers both of his wrists often, wants to give people a mystery but he doesn’t ask, just gives a little nod and decides to change the topic.
“I hope this coffee and pie is going to be worth the wrist ogling I had to go through. “
Clint gives him a grin.
“Don’t worry, it will be.”
Their order comes a little bit after that and it is pretty good and Clint promises to show Steve more places and it ends up being a good time, makes Steve feel a little more grounded in today.
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They start hanging out more after that, catching each other at SHIELD, making some plans outside of there. Steve likes having someone to spend time with, needs his time with Clint just like he needs his visits with Peggy. He still mourns for the life he could have had with her, mourns for how she is losing herself now, age finally catching up to her but he is grateful that she is here, that he gets a little bit more time with her after thinking he was giving her up so long ago. He is grateful for Clint in a different way, grateful to have someone who can help provide a link today, can anchor him here. He ends up telling Peggy about Clint, speaks about him when she is having her good days and after a bit she says something that makes him realize something.
“You always smile when you say his name, a good smile, the one you used to give me, the one you used to give Barnes. ”
Steve hadn’t thought about that before, about how much he smiles when he thinks of Clint but right now he just gives a little shrug and says something that is the truth but not the whole reason why he smiles about Clint the same way he used to smile at Bucky and Peggy.
“He reminds me of Bucky, may be a better shot than him. He reminds me a bit of you too. Stubborn and better at his job than people always want to give him credit for.”
He says this to Peggy now,still annoyed that she was often overlooked and from what he has heard it applies to Clint as well. Clint reminds Steve of some of his favorite people but there is also so much about him that is just Clint and he is finding he likes those parts a lot too. Peggy is giving him another smile now and is speaking again.
“The stubborn could describe you too. Must be why you get along with him so well. This Clint, it’s Barton right?”
Steve gives a little nod and she gives him a smile, beautiful like he remembers even if so much has changed.
“I haven’t met him but Fury told me about him, brought him in when he was young and stubborn. It’s good you have a friend or is he a bit more than that? ”
She says this now and Steve hadn’t really thought about that yet, about Clint being more than a friend and he just gives the best answer he can now.
“For sure a friend, don’t know if we can be more than that or not yet. “
Steve says this and right now he is starting to realize that maybe he does think of Clint as more than just a friend , might want more than just a friendship with him. The thought is sudden and he isn’t quite sure what to make of it and Peggy just gives him a smile now, speaks gently.
“You can figure that all out, you have time, you’re allowed to have a life here.”
There is a kindness in her voice, a hint of permission and Steve accepts it for the advice it is. Whatever they could have had, there really isn’t time for it now, but he still has her and he can have more than that if he wants, just has to figure out what he wants.
“ I know that and I am making a life, just still adjusting a bit.”
Steve says this now, really does think he is making himself a place in this world sometimes. Steve talks to Peggy till she grows tired and then he leaves. This visit has given him a lot to think about and he will need to figure out just what he wants and what to do about it soon.
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The next few weeks, Steve starts to pay a bit more attention to what he feels around Clint, starts to notice a few things. He always knew that he liked spending time with the other but he didn’t’ realize how much he would look forward to it. Steve had noticed before that Clint had nice eyes but now he sees just how great they look when Clint gets excited about something, how his whole face lights up when he smiles, how his throat moves when he swallows coffee. Steve is noticing all sorts of things about Clint and it is pretty clear he is developing feelings for him, only decides he needs to do something about it for sure after a mission that finds Clint laying in medical.
“I have had worst, I promise. At least no broken bones this time.”
Clint says this to Steve as he walks into the room, the first time he is really able to see Clint after they made it back to base. There is a bandage his forehead, some bruises and scrapes along his arms, and his left foot is wrapped up but not in a cast. Natasha is there in chair next to the bed and she rolls her eyes a bit while muttering under her breath.
“Cracked ribs are close enough.”
Steve hears the comment and needs to know more, so he asks a question now.
“So what is all the damage? I have had cracked ribs before and it usually doesn’t require you to prop up a foot, unless medicine has changed more that I realized. “
He half expects Natasha to answer but Clint does, gestures as he does so, pointing out each injury like he doesn’t have quite a collection.
“That is the sprained ankle and there are only two cracked ribs, bruises and some cuts. Biggest cut is on my head, no stitches and no band aid which is good cause they only have the boring ones here. Ended up losing my guard on my left so that is all pretty shades of purple and red , see?”
He holds up his wrist now and it is one of the few times Steve has really ever seen his left wrist uncovered. He has been told it really isn’t that uncommon for people to cover their wrists even if they aren’t marked and he hasn’t thought about weather Clint is marked or not and he can’t really tell right now. Clint wasn’t joking about the purple and red and he is really only showing Steve the outside of it right now anyway , puts it back down after that.
“Should be able to shoot soon, just going to have to remember to ice it. And the ankle. ”
“And your cut should be cleaned regularly. And you need to be supervised overnight to make sure that nothing turns more serious than it already is. So you are staying here.”
Natasha says this, tone serious and Clint turns to her with what Steve can only describe as puppy eyes and speaks with just a hint of pleading in his voice.
“I want to go home, Tasha, not stay here, you have some hours before you leave for your mission, you can take me home. I promise to follow doctor’s orders, don’t make me stay here.”
“I can’t stay with you overnight though, don’t know of any one who can.”
She says this softly like she genuinely regrets not being able to stay with Clint tonight and Clint lets out a noise somewhere between a sigh and a whine and Steve remembers having to stay in hospitals when you don’t want to. He finds himself speaking up before he really thinks about it too much.
“If you can take him to his place, I can meet you there after running home to get some things then I can stay with him tonight.”
He says this now and two pairs of eyes turn to him, Clint’s hopeful and happy, and Natasha’s accessing.
“See, Steve will watch me. You’re my hero, cap.”
Clint says this and gives him a goofy smile that makes something in Steve’s chest flutter just a bit.
“That can work. Meet us there as soon as you can. I’ll let the staff know he is going home.”
Steve gives a quick nod and then heads out, glad that he had already finished the debriefing. He goes home quickly, showers even faster and changes and grabs what he thinks he needs before heading over to Clint’s. It doesn’t take long and soon enough he is knocking at the door and it doesn’t take long for Natasha to answer it, a bag in her hands and jacket already on.
“You made good time, he is showered and changed but will need the cut on his forehead cleaned a bit better and some ointment put on it and he needs to take his pills. I have everything laid out for you. They don’t think he has a concussion but it would still be a good idea to keep him up for a couple of hours. Hopefully, he won’t be too much of a pain, make sure he ices his ankle, wrist and ribs, make sure the cute gets cleaned,text me in the morning on how things went, may not be able to respond but I’ll see it. Have to head out now, take good care him.”
She says all of this quickly and there is something that sounds like a warning in her last words and Steve just gives a brief nod.
“I’ll send you a text when I can, hope your mission goes well.”
This is all Steve says and then Natasha is leaving and Steve is entering the apartment, shutting the door behind him. Clint is already in the living room, on the couch with his leg propped up with an ice pack on the ankle and an ice pack on his wrist and another one slung across his ribs and he gives Steve a nod as he walks in and puts his bag down and takes off his coat.
“i would offer to get up and get you water or something but I’m not supposed to move too much right now.”
Clint is sort of glaring at the ice pack on his ankle a little bit now and Steve just gives him a brief smile.
“I can get my own water in a bit, think I’m supposed to help you clean your cut first. “
A groan comes from Clint now.
“I told Nat it is clean from the shower, it doesn’t need iodine too. And the ointment is sticky.”
“She told me it needs cleaned a bit better and the ointment will probably help it heal better.”
Steve says this now and Clint just looks up at him now.
“Nat doesn’t have to know we didn’t put the stuff on it, doctor just said to keep it clean so it will be fine.”
There is a little bit of whine to Clint’s voice now .
“I think we should clean it again and put some ointment on it, don’t want Natasha finding out somehow we didn’t do it.”
Steve really doesn’t want to deal with Natasha thinking he didn’t take care of Clint while he was here. She’s a bit protective of him and Steve doesn’t want to get in-between that. Clint is still looking up at him like he is about to protest again so Steve tries another tactic.
“Let me clean this and everything and I will order us some pizza, my treat.”
Clint looks at him for a moment and then he sighs a bit.
“Alright, for pizza. Let’s get this over with then.”
The look on Clint’s face is almost pouting and it makes Steve smile just a bit as he gets the stuff ready, as he has Clint lean his head back. The fist swipe of the iodine has Clint moves his head a bit and muttering about it being cold and Steve can’t help but chuckle just a bit.
“My discomfort is funny to you? You wound me, Cap.”
He looks up at Steve as he says this, puts on a over the top hurt expression on his face and Steve just smiles at him.
“It isn’t your discomfort I’m laughing at, just it feels weird being on the other end of this. Usually I was the one complaining about something being cold or uncomfortable and Bucky was the one helping me to clean up. He would complain that I whined too much during clean up. Told me I should try staying out of fights but would always jump right in with me.”
Whining is what Bucky would always call it, Steve still thinks most of his complaints were legitimate. Bucky realized pretty quick that Steve couldn’t stay out of fights so he just always did his best to help end them and then patch Steve up best he could when the fight was done, though he would still lecture on occasion. The thought of Bucky makes something ache just a bit but Clint looking at him and giving a grin as he speaks eases some of the ache.
“Nat says I whine too much too, though I think I whine just the right amount. Maybe we could make a club, justified whiners or something like that. “
“Maybe, let’s finish cleaning this up and put the ointment on it and then we can talk about clubs over pizza.”
Clint gives a nod and lets Steve finish cleaning up and putting ointment on his forehead cut and there is only a little bit more whining during it. Soon enough, Steve has placed a pizza order, changed into more comfortable cloths, and has gotten water for both of them, Clint taking his pills, and settles on the couch with Clint to wait, finds some movie on TV that looks ok. To Steve’s surprise, Clint ends up leaning against him, practically cuddling him and it has been awhile since Steve has had someone be so close to him. He looks at Clint now, raises a brow in question but doesn’t make him move. Clint speaks after just a moment, answering Steve’s unasked question.
“Sorry, cap, I tend to cuddle when hurt and have to take meds. Just push me off if you need to, Nat does that sometimes if I take up too much of her space but she lets me cuddle closer when I’m hurt, sometimes I even get kisses but I won’t demand those from you. “
It is almost on the tip of Steve’s tongue to tell Clint he can demand kisses if he wants but Steve stops himself from saying that right now. Instead, his mouth opens and speaks another thought that just popped into him.
“I didn’t think you and Natasha were the kissing sort of partners.”
As far as Steve knows, they aren’t dating but maybe he has been wrong. He has heard rumors about them at SHIELD of course, rumors that they are marked, rumors that they are dating but neither has ever said anything and there was nothing in their file about it. Clint looks up at him now and shakes his head and then shrugs his shoulders at the same time.
“We aren’t or I mean we are but maybe not the way you are thinking of. We’re not dating and we don’t share a mark like some people think but we’re friends, partners, and sometimes we give each other kisses and stuff cause we want them or need them and we trust the other to give us what we need. I would say it is friends with benefits but it is more than that,. It doesn’t stop us from dating others if we find someone we want, that just hasn’t worked out for either of us yet, but if I have no one else, I always have Nat.”
The words are honest and Clint has somehow managed to squirm even more into Steve’s space now and Steve just shift so that they are both more comfortable and he speaks softly after a moment.
“I get that, Bucky was that for me.”
“Even the kissing?”
Clint just sort of blurts it out and there is a look on his face just a moment after that tells Steve he didn’t mean to say. Steve thinks about just ignoring the question but he doesn’t want to keep this from Clint, wants to test the water just a bit.
“Yep, even the kissing.”
Clint looks up at him for a moment now, just sort of blinks up at him and then he speaks.
“Huh, Captain America kisses guys, that wasn’t in the history books I read about.”
He says this with a little bit of a smile, no judgment in his eyes and Steve returns the smile, feels relief fill him just a bit.
“History books got a lot of things wrong, not surprised that they don’t always mention bisexuality. I like both men and woman but that wasn’t really something people talked about a lot back then. Besides, it wasn’t a lot of guys, just really Bucky, just like there wasn’t a lot of gals , mostly Peggy.”
He tries to tamper down the longing right now, the missing of the life he never really got to have with either of them, tries not to think about how Bucky was meant for someone else and thinks about how Peggy still had a good life even if he couldn’t be part of it. He pushes those thoughts aside and focuses back on Clint now, asks a question that he has been wondering about for a little bit now, needs an answer before he can do anything about what he might be feeling.
“What about you? Kiss a lot of guys or gals?”
He keeps his tone light, hopes he isn’t over stepping but wants to know. Clint is quiet for a moment, eyes narrowing a bit in thought, a look on his face that Steve can’t quite read. He’s about to tell Clint to forget about when Clint speaks.
“Not a whole lot, but some guys, some gals but I like both. Guess we have that in common too, besides our whining. Bisexuals who whine club, we could shorten it to bwwc. ”
Clint grins up at him now and Steve returns the grin.
“Hey, remember it is justified whining.”
Clint laughs a bit at this and Steve likes his laugh and they are so close right now. If Steve leans down just a bit more, he could meet Clint’s lips, could kiss him and he relieves right now, how much he wants that. Before he can think about whether he should act on the feeling or not, there is a knock on the day and Clint shifts so Steve can get up and get the pizza. There is less cuddling now, the pizza taking both of their attention but they eat and talk and pass the evening together and Steve decides that in a few days, he will try to ask Clint for a date, take a chance.
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