Chapter 3
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Steve doesn’t come up with a plan to ask Clint out right after that, worries it over a little bit the next few days after that night at Clint’s apartment. He had found out that night that Clint doesn't currently have anyone special and that he would at least be open to the idea of being with a guy but it doesn’t stop the what ifs in Steve’s mind. He hasn’t seen a mark on Clint, hasn’t heard of Clint having a soulmate, but it is still a possibility. He keeps thinking about Bucky’s mark, about how Bucky may have been meant for someone else and how it might be the same for Clint. It is a lot but the thought doesn't change how much Bucky mean to him, doesn’t change that he doesn’t regret being with Bucky, and the thought Clint might be marked doesn’t change the fact that Steve wants to see if they can be something more. He decides to ask Clint out but it doesn’t go as smoothly as he would like.
The first time he was getting ready to ask, they got called away to a mission. He had asked Clint if he wanted to get pizza after that very mission but Natasha was right there and they had taken it to mean that they were both being asked. He tried asking Clint to go to an art museum and Clint told him that was more Natasha’s thing and Steve should ask her. He asked Clint if he wanted to see a movie and Clint said he would meet him there and he showed up with Natasha in tow. Things kept going like that, Clint not quite understanding that Steve was trying to set up something just the two of them. Steve was feeling hopeful that he managed it this time till he had showed up at the coffee shop and saw Natasha sitting there with Clint. He smiled and greeted them both and hoped that his disappointment hadn’t flashed across his face.
“Something tells me that you were sort of hoping I wouldn’t be here.”
Natasha says this once Clint is to the counter of the coffee shop, once it is just the two of them, and Steve isn’t quite sure what to say. It is a little bit of truth, just enough that he doesn’t want to deny it but he also doesn’t want to claim it outright. It isn’t that he has anything against Natasha, just was hoping it would be just the two of them this time, had thought he had asked right this time.
“It’s not that I’m not glad to see you, just didn’t know you were coming again.”
He says this now, not sure how to explain this and sort of just shrugs after saying this and Natasha arches a brow for a moment before giving a little bit of smile that he can’t quite read and speaks softly.
“You just thought that maybe Clint would realize that this was a date instead of just buddies. He sometimes has trouble seeing things close to him. Or purposefully ignores them. Which is probably what is happening now. “
He could deny what she said about the date but he doesn’t, doesn’t think she would believe him anyway. Her words make something in him sink just a bit now and he asks a question now.
“You said purposefully ignores, should I assume he isn’t interested then?“
The thought hurts but if Clint isn’t interested, Steve will stop asking. Natasha shakes her head just a bit now.
“I’m not saying that. I’m saying he has his reasons for why he is ignoring this, reasons that aren’t mine to tell. You need to talk to him about it. I will set something up for you to do so tonight.”
“Really? Tonight?”
He asks now and she gives a nod and maybe things will work out for Steve after all.
“Thank you.”
He says this and means it and Natasha looks at him for a moment before speaking again.
“Clint’s important to me, I want him happy but also know I don’t want him hurt. If you can’t handle what he tells you, you will back off.”
It is a statement, not a question but Steve still answers like it she asked it instead of told him.
“If I can’t handle it, if Clint doesn’t want this, I’ll back off, promise.”
She looks at him along time, like she is trying to decide if there is any lie in what he is saying and she gives a nod after a moment.
“I will text you details tonight.”
She says this simply, moves her gaze now and Steve follows it, sees that Clint is back on his way to their table . He has a tray with him, three cups of what they want and a few pastries on them as well. Steve sees one that is his favorite from here and Clint sets it down in front of him with his coffee.
“They had these today on special, thought you might want one.”
Clint says this simply and Steve gives a thank you, feels his stomach squirm a bit at the gesture and he can feel Natasha’s eyes on them. She takes her own pastry and coffee from Clint and she starts the conversation, asking Clint how training of the new recruits had gone the other day. It is a pleasant enough was to pass the next hour or so and then they are splitting up and Steve tries not to feel too nervous waiting for Natasha's text .
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If Steve had felt nervous waiting for the text from Natasha, it is nothing compared to how he feels now, standing outside of Clint’s apartment, boxes of pizza and a bag of drinks in his hands. Natasha had not only texted him details but had met him at the pizza place near by, one of Clint’s favorites and had told him what to order and looked him over with a brief nod before giving him one more slight warning about backing off if tonight doesn’t go well and a good luck before sending him on his way to Clint’s. She had told him to just go in, that the door would be unlocked cause Clint is expecting her, but to do that seems like an ambush to Steve so he takes a deep breath and knocks. It takes just a few minutes and then he hears footsteps coming towards the door, hears some words as the door is pulled open.
“You never knock, should I be worried, Nat? You’re not Nat. I was expecting Nat.”
There is a look on Clint’s face that looks a little bit like suspicion turning into realization and nervousness mixed together. Steve just tries to give a calm smile and talks.
“Not Nat but she sent me here, said it would be ok, I brought pizza, want to talk to you. Can I come in?”
There is a moment of hesitation and Steve worries that Clint might close the door and walk away but then Clint gives a small nod and moves out of the door so Steve can walk in. He starts making his way to the kitchen so Steve follows him, hears him muttering something about how he should have know Nat was up to something when she offered to bring pizza. Steve says noting, just follows Clint to the kitchen and sits the pizza down on the counter as Clint gets down some plates, puts them next to the pizza on the counter. It is a sort of awkward quiet right now and Steve isn’t sure how to break it and is relieved when Clint does instead.
“ You want something to drink? I got some soda in the fridge. ”
Steve gives a nod and takes the cream soda Clint pulls out for him. Clint has his own soda now, sits down on of his stools and Steve follows his lead, sits down and takes out some pizza after Clint does. There is quiet again, both of them start eating and after just a moment, Clint speaks.
“Nat has been bugging me to talk to you for a while, she thinks you have been trying to date me, that’s not true, is it?”
Steve had just taken a bite of his pizza and he swallows now, takes a moment to get ready to speak, squashes down his nerves and knows he has to tell the truth.
“Natasha's right, I have been trying to ask you out on dates. “
“Really? I thought maybe you were but why?”
There is a bit of confusion in Clint’s voice and Steve answers the best he can, still really has no idea of Clint’s feelings and doesn’t want this to blow up in his face.
“I like you, enjoy spending time with you and think there could be something between us if we both want it. If you don’t want to date, I’ll stop asking.“
There is a moment of quiet and Steve is dreading what Clint is going to say. He will stop asking if Clint doesn’t want this, doesn’t want him but it is going to hurt a bit After what feels like an eternity, Clint answers.
“I would like to try the dating thing, if you still want to after this, but I have to warn you that I am not always that good at it. Been told I’m good at some parts of it, like kissing, but terrible at some others.”
Steve can’t help but smile a bit now, hope blossoming just a bit.
“Good at kissing, huh? You want to show me that right now or do you not do that till the fourth date or something?”
He arches a bit of a brow, puts challenge into his words and Clint leans forward now, puts a hand on Steve’s neck and pulls him forward just a bit before brushing his lips against Steve’s. It is a soft kiss, gentle and no opening of mouths but Clint’s thumb rests against his throat, gently rubbing at his pulse point. Clint pulls back after a moment, his thumb lingering just a little longer and there is just a bit of a shy smile on his face that Steve wishes he could draw a picture of.
“That was ok, right?”
Clint asks now and Steve can’t help but smile as he gives a nod.
“More than ok, does this mean that you’ll say yes to a date?”
Clint hesitates for just a moment but gives a little nod and then starts to speak.
“I’ll say yes, if you still want to date after I tell you why I was avoiding it.”
It is on the tip of Steve’s tongue to say that there is nothing Clint could say that will change his mind about the dating but he stops, gives a nod instead. Clint takes a breath and starts talking again.
“I do like you a lot but most of my relationships haven’t worked for one reason or another. Sometimes, I mess up, but other times the other person just decides it isn’t going to work because of something I can’t control. I have a mark on my wrist and most people are pretty sure it is a soul mark.”
Steve knew that it was a possibility but he still feels his breath hitch just a bit when Clint says this. Clint looks away for just a moment and then keeps talking, words just tumbling out.
“I’m not entirely sure it is that, I know it is in the right place but I can never quite remember when I got it, always had a ton of marks and scars as a kid. I have never met anyone with it, SHIELD has no one on record with it and they have looked. Still, it is there and people put stock in marks, think that I’m going to leave whoever I’m with just cause someone shows up with matching mark. I understand if you don’t want to worry about it, if you want to walk away.”
Clint is looking at him right now and his body is all tensed up, like he is just waiting for Steve to walk away. Steve doesn’t, instead he leans forward and puts a hand on Clint’s shoulder, right where it meets his neck, makes sure Clint looks at him now.
“I don’t want to walk away. Marks are still strange to me, they weren’t really known before and soulmates just seemed like a romantic idea and not something people thought they could know for sure. I woke up and found out about them, found out something I thought was mine maybe shouldn’t have been.”
Clint tilts his head in question and Steve says out loud what he has kept to himself for so long, lets Clint knows his worries and the decision he made about them.
“I think Bucky had a soul mark. He had a mark on his wrist, showed up when he was around 16, we never could figure out why it was there, what it came from. I didn’t have any mark like it, have no marks on my wrist, never did but I used to trace Bucky’s, thought it was special somehow.”
Clint has grabbed his wrist now, has curled fingers around it and Steve keeps talking.
“I felt so guilty after I figured it out, felt like I kept him from something good. Maybe I did but I think he and I were something good, decided that I wouldn’t have not wanted to be with him, even if I knew that maybe he was supposed to have someone else. I think we could have something good, if something comes up with the mark, we will figure it out. I don’t want to walk away. Want to go on a date with me?”
He asks now, hope high but still tinged with just a hint of worry. There is a moment and then Clint grins.
“Yes, I want to go on a date with you. Hey, we could count this as our first, we got pizza, we even kissed, now we just need to watch a movie or something. Sound good?”
Clint asks and Steve gives a return grin, the worry seeping out of him.
“Sounds good, let’s finish the food and then we can watch a movie, talk and maybe not talk some more.”
He raises a brow at this, lets Clint know his meaning and Clint lets out a laugh. They pull apart after that, go back to their pizza and they do watch a movie after, sit on the couch close together and share another kiss before Steve leaves for the night. It feels like a good beginning and Steve looks forward to more dates, pushes the thoughts of marks and what they mean away for the night.