Chapter 1
The first time that Steve notices the mark on Bucky’s wrist is when they are about sixteen, after a fight, when they are in the bathroom cleaning up the blood before his mom gets home. Or rather when Bucky is cleaning the blood off of Steve , one hand using a cloth to wipe the blood away from Steve’s nose and the other helping to hold Steve’s head tilted up. It is a bit awkward and Steve sees the mark out of the corner of his eyes, tilts his head down to see more of it.
“What’s that on your wrist?”
“Probably your blood, now tilt your head back up.”
This is what Bucky says, tilts Steve’s head back up. Steve tries to tilt it down again to see it but Bucky just tilts his head back up. Steve just lets him finish cleaning it up, knows he isn’t going to get Bucky to focus on his own wrist till Steve’s nose is clean. Once he is cleaned up, he grabs Bucky’s wrist, twists it so he can see it clearly and Bucky just sort of lets him, watches him with an amused expression. Steve just looks at his wrist and he was right, there is something there, three marks lined up over each other, diagonal lines that are almost perfectly lined up. They aren’t bright red like fresh scratches, more of a white, like almost a scar. Steve knows Bucky’s scars, knows them almost as well as he knows his own and he doens’t know this one.
“I don’t remember you having these before.”
Steve says this now, draws Bucky’s attention to them and Bucky looks at the mark for a moment before speaking as well.
“Don’t remember them either, maybe they will fade. Right now, let’s see if we can salvage your shirt.”
He says this with a shrug and Steve doesn’t really think too much about it but he finds himself checking up on the marks as time passes. They are there still weeks, months, years later. They are there when Bucky comes to Steve after his mom’s funeral, and Steve wraps his fingers around them, feels Bucky’s pulse there and knows that he isn’t completely alone after all. They stay there as Bucky moves in with him, as they start becoming even more of part of each other’s lives. There are there when they fall into bed together , when it starts to become a habit after each failed date. Steve like to trace them with his fingers, does it often at night as they lay together, does it slowly and Bucky lets it happen but still comments on it from time to time.
“That tickles.”
Bucky says this but doesn’t move his wrist away and Steve just smiles before placing a kiss on the mark. There is something special about that mark, Steve isn’t sure just what it is, but he likes it, even if neither of them knows how it got there.
“You think it means something?”
He asks one morning as his fingers run along it again and Bucky just shrugs a bit.
“Probably not, just a mark, only has meaning if I give it one. Why are you so curious about it?”
He asks and Steve just shrugs now like Bucky did earlier.
“I don’t know, it just seems special. Strange how it just appeared like it did.”
It does seem special to Steve even if he can’t quite connivance Bucky of that. It isn’t long after that talk that things change.
Bucky goes to war, Steve meets Peggy, gets the serum and almost feels like a stranger in his own body. His scars are gone now and he misses them like he misses Bucky, too many months spent apart. Then there is the news of Bucky’s capture and Steve finds him, saves him, and the marks are still there, still one on top of the other and Steve traces them with his fingers like he always used to.
“I did that sometimes too, thought about you doing it. It helped. Your fingers still feel the same.”
Bucky says this and he looks better than he did before, voice isn’t shaking and Steve smiles at his words, just keeps tracing the mark. Bucky follows him back into the war, listens to Steve’s orders, teases him about Peggy, and Steve starts to think about the future a bit more, about what it could hold for all three of them. Then the train happens, Bucky is lost, and Steve has to give up all he was hoping for.
Steve wakes up in a world decades away from when he went to sleep, wakes up to a world that has passed him by. It is overwhelming, the amount of things that Steve doesn’t know anymore, the amount of things he learns about but there is one that stands out to him quickly, something he finds out when he is asked a question during a look over once Fury has convinced him to come back to the base
“Do you have any marks that you believe could be your soul mark?”
He is asked this by one of the nurses, asked in a way that seems like it is a pretty standard question and Steve looks at her very blankly before asking.
“Soul mark?”
He has no idea what that is and spends the next ten minutes listening as the doctor explains that it wasn’t a common term during his time, that it really didn’t start becoming known till the late 50’s and then asks if he has any marks that he can’t explain. Steve doesn’t have any mark he can’t explain and they seem content with that answer. Steve gets a brief explanation of soul marks that day but finds out more later.
Steve learns about marks that only some people have, marks that connect you to another. No one knows why they appear or who hast them and not everyone has one. The idea seems far fetched and romantic and Steve wants to dismiss it but he remembers the mark on Bucky’s left wrist, the one that just appeared, the one that he knew was special somehow and it fills him with some guilt and anger.
Bucky had a mark, Steve is sure of that, had someone meant for him, someone who wasn’t Steve, and he didn’t get the chance to meet them. Bucky followed Steve back into the war, followed him onto the train, followed him to his death, and he never got to meet his soulmate. It can’t be changed now, Bucky’s gone, and Steve mourns him and tries not to wish too hard that he could have changed things. He has sleepless nights and days filled with trying to not think about the what ifs and then he is dragged into a war again, has other things to focus on and tries to put the thought of marks and soulmates out of his head.
+-+-+-+-+
The battle is over, has been over for hours now,but Steve still feels too wounded up to sleep. He tried, he laid in the bed that Stark provided for over an hour but couldn’t fall asleep. The last few days have been a mess, aliens and the tesseract, trying to get along with a new team, and he just can’t rest, finds himself roaming the floor that his bedroom is on. He finds himself in the little kitchen area and then sees a light on in the little living room. Apparently, he isn’t the only one that can’t sleep and he can see a figure on the couch as he moves closer , something playing on the tv and he thinks about moving back the way he came but then a voice calls out to him.
“You can sit if you want, I’ll even share my cookies.”
It is Clint and Steve hesitates for just a moment before he moves towards the couch, sits down next to the other man. Clint is in a t-shirt and sweats, slouching on the couch with various things spread over the coffee table and he should probably be asleep but Steve should be too so he just grabs a cookie and gives Barton a nod.
“Thanks, what are you watching?”
He asks, isn’t familiar with it but he isn’t familiar with a lot of the entertainment around now, still trying to get used to how much everything has changed.
“Some cooking show, there isn’t a whole lot on but we can find something else if you want.”
Clint says this and Steve just gives a little shrug.
“This is fine.”
Steve says this, keeps his attention on the tv most of the time but finds his gaze drifting over to Clint. He looks worn out, bruises litter his skin, and Steve can only imagine how rough his last few days were but he had done his part in the battle, kept up with the rest of them and Steve can’t help but admire that a little bit. He finds his eyes drifting back over to Clint instead of the tv often and after a little time passes, Steve speaks, lets genuine words flow out of his mouth.
“You did good out there.”
Clint looks over at Steve as he says this, expression neutral but Steve thinks he sees a little bit of tension settling over Clint’s shoulders. Clint doesn’t say anything so Steve just continues talking.
“Everything that happened, you still went out there and did your part, helped us. It reminds me of someone I knew, back then.”
It reminded him of Bucky, of him walking right alongside everyone after being rescued, going right back into the war but Steve can’t bring him to say his name right now.
“Someone good I hope.”
Clint says this now but he is relaxing just a bit and Steve smiles now.
“One of the best. “
They settle back into quiet then, just watching the shows and sharing snacks. They pass a bit of time like that till Natasha comes in, tells Clint that he needs to shower before coffee and Clint just gives Steve a smile before he leaves and it feels like the beginning of something to Steve, a new start of sorts.
+-+-+-+-+