Something More

"This okay?" Bucky whispered, his warm breath fanning over your ear causing you to shiver underneath his body as his large hand cupped your breast.

You nodded your head not trusting yourself to speak right now. Everything was more than okay. 

It had been a couple of weeks since your conversation with Bucky and life had returned to normal. 

Or as normal as it could get after asking your best friend to take your virginity. And true to the rules he had set up you waited until you were one hundred percent over your ex before even bringing the topic back up. 

He had been hesitant, asking you multiple times if you were sure when he had arrived at your apartment to hang out. No matter how many times you had assured him yes, this was exactly what you wanted you still appreciated how slow he was taking this for you.

What had started out as chaste kisses and hesitant touches as if you two were teenagers just learning how to make out had quickly turned into something more. 

It wasn't long before his shirt ended up on the floor of the living room, your hand dragging him into your bedroom, your body landing on your bed as you pulled him on top of you. Your chaste kisses turned deeper, his tongue slipping past your parted lips as your hands rested on his shoulders before sliding up the back of his neck pulling him closer. Breathy moans tumbled from your lips when you felt him cup your breast, your shirt having been discarded and tossed somewhere on your bedroom floor earlier.

He pressed a soft kiss behind your ear, his hand massaging your breast earning him a delicious moan from your swollen lips. It was wrong, so, so wrong, but all he could think about was what other sounds he could pull from your beautiful lips. 

"Need to hear you say it, honey," he whispered, voice dangerously low as he pressed open mouth kisses down the side of your neck.

Clenching your thighs together you gave a tug to his hair, your head tilting to the side to grant him more access. 

"Y-yeah," you gasped, hating how your voice stuttered, but being helpless to stop it. 

You knew Bucky was a good kisser from the couple of times you guys had kissed, but you didn't think he was going to make you feel this good. God he had barely touched you and already you were a sweaty, whining mess.

What were you going to be like when you guys went further? The thought had you feeling heat rise to your neck and chest and by the way you could feel Bucky's lips curling into a smile against the curve of your neck you knew he knew the effect he was having on you.

"Yeah what?" His teeth grazed over your neck.

A pathetic whine fell from your lips as your lust filled brain tried to catch up with what was being asked of you.

"It's okay... m-more than okay," you gasped as Bucky's hand moved to massage your other breast. 

Under different circumstances you would have felt embarrassed at how needy you were acting, especially given how this was your best friend, but right now all you could focus on was how good everything was feeling. It had never been like this with either of your exes. And for a brief moment you let your insecurities take over as you worried if Bucky was as into this as you were. The way he was grinding against you and the little groans that escaped his lips every time you raked your nails down his back told him he was, but you still doubted yourself. 

His lips sucked greedily against the skin of your neck and though you were worried about him leaving too many marks that you'd have to try and cover up it felt too good for you to stop him. But despite the pleasure you were receiving it still wasn't enough, you needed more, but you didn't know how to tell him what you wanted. 

Guiding his lips back to yours you kissed him hungrily, your tongue slipping past his parted lips, a wave of confidence washing over you when you felt him moan against you. Keeping one hand tangled in his hair your other hand moved between your bodies, your fingertips making a slow descent down his chest, over his defined abs, down his stomach before stopping to rest on the top button of his jeans. Making no move to undo his jeans until he gave you the okay you pulled back from the kiss panting. 

"Bucky?" You asked softly. 

He hadn't stopped you from going further, but he also hadn't given you the okay and you were left worrying that he was about to call the whole thing off. When he still didn't say anything after a couple more seconds you swallowed the growing lump of disappointment in your throat as you began to pull your fingers away. An apology sat on the tip of your tongue, but before you could utter one syllable you felt Bucky's hand grasping your wrist.

"You sure?" He asked, his breath coming out a little shaky at the thought of going further. He wasn't nervous, after all you had seen him in his boxers before. But this wasn't about him, his only concern was you and making sure that you were one hundred percent comfortable with everything that took place. 

"Yes." Your fingers shook as you undid the button of his jeans and slowly pulled the zipper down, a shaky breath passed Bucky's lips as your knuckles brushed over his growing erection. Pushing the jeans down his legs he pulled them off the rest of the way, tossing them onto your bedroom floor. 

Leaning down he pressed a soft kiss to your lips, it was so different from the heated kisses the two of you had been sharing only moments before and you felt yourself melting into his touch. Nestling his thigh between your parted legs you sighed as your hands made their way to his shoulders. It didn't take long for the kiss to heat up and though you didn't want to you broke the kiss, your hands pushing back on his shoulders. "Wait."

Pulling back Bucky was about to apologize for whatever he had done wrong before his eyes dropped down to your fingers which were making quick work of the button and zipper on your own jeans. 

"You don't have to do that, Y/N," he said, locking his eyes on you. The last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable after he was the one who had told you he was going to take this slow, yet here you both were taking clothes off as if this was a game of strip poker and you both had losing hands.

Getting off your bed you stood up and turned your back to him as you tugged your jeans off, dropping them onto the growing pile of clothes that were beginning to litter your floor. 

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Besides it only seems fair," you murmured, struggling to keep the nervousness out of your voice. Turning around to face him you tried not to cover yourself as you watched his eyes roam your body. You shouldn't have been nervous, it wasn't as if you were naked, not yet at least. Biting your lower lip you motioned for him to sit back against your pillows. 

When he had done as you asked you took a tentative step towards the bed ignoring the warning bells in your head telling you this was a bad idea. Moving to straddle him his hands moved to your waist helping to steady you as he struggled with the urge not to lift his hips as you moved over him searching for a comfortable position. 

"You good?" He groaned, his fingers digging into your skin.

Feeling heat rise to your chest and face you offered him a small, apologetic smile as your hands moved to rest on his shoulders. 

"Yeah, sorry," you giggled. 

You could feel all of him pressing against you and it was all you could do not to tell him to take you right now. Your underwear was soaked and as you glanced down at him you wondered if he could tell. God, what was he doing to you? These were not thoughts you should be having about your best friend. 

"Is this... okay?" 

"Yeah, it's okay, Y/N," he said. He wanted nothing more than to rip the last remaining pieces of clothing separating your bodies, wanted nothing more than to show you just how good sex could feel, just how good he could make you feel, but he needed to take this slow for you and the way you were chewing on your lower lip again and the way you were avoiding his gaze he could tell you were starting to feel nervous and that was the last thing he wanted for you right now. 

"This okay for you?"

"Yeah," you said a little too quickly, your eyes darting from his lips to his chest. "I just... I don't know." 

When you had first asked him to sleep with you you had been devastated over your breakup. And when you guys had first started making out it had been good, really good. But now straddling his waist it was beginning to dawn on you just how weird this whole situation was. You didn't want to stop, but you were beginning to feel nervous.

"Hey, it's okay. Come on talk to me." His voice was soft yet commanding and you felt yourself wanting to do exactly that, but you couldn't get the words out. The pads of his thumbs rubbed gentle circles over the smooth skin of your hips.

 "Don't make me tickle you to get the answer out," he teased and when he saw you crack a smile he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"I'm nervous," you blurted out. "And I don't want to stop, but I mean... please tell me I'm not the only one finding this a little weird?" You couldn't look him in the eyes, not even when you heard him chuckling. 

"And I know this was my idea, but I don't know... I think I just need to get this out in the open before we continue? If we continue God I completely ruined the mood didn't I? I'm sorry." A frustrated groan spilled from your lips as you buried your head in his neck. This was mortifying. And you felt so stupid for thinking the two of you could just hook up without it being weird. Making a move to get off his lap you were surprised when you felt his hands tightening around your waist keeping you where you were.

"It's just me, sweetheart, you have nothing to be nervous about." When you didn't move your head from his neck he sighed feeling helpless that he couldn't find the words to ease your worries. 

Rubbing his hand in small circles over your back he tried again. "'S not just you that finds it a little weird." 

When he felt you lifting your head up he took that as a sign that he was on the right track. 

"But it doesn't have to be weird, Y/N. Ya know maybe it's good we're talking about this now. Get all this out in the open before we go any further." He shrugged his shoulders offering you a small smile when you finally dared a peek at him. As he watched you nod your head yes he took a deep breath, his hand continuing to rub circles on your back. The action seemed to soothe you because ever so slowly he could feel your body begin to relax again. 

"Better?"

You nodded your head yes unsure if he was asking about him rubbing your back or the awkward conversation you had started. Resting your forehead against his your eyes fluttered shut, a feeling of calm coming over you as the tenseness in your shoulders began to dissipate. "That feels good," you breathed out.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The two of you stayed like that for a couple of minutes, you straddling his lap as he rubbed your back. He was the first one to break the silence and his voice startled you. 

"You didn't ruin the mood, baby," he whispered, his voice dropping lower, "I'm pretty good at seducing women. I'll have you back in the mood in no time."

And that was all it took for you to start laughing and for you to forget all about your previous nerves. 

"Oh my god, Bucky," you laughed, your whole body shaking. "I can not believe you actually said that." Pulling back as you continued to laugh you could see the twinkle in his blue grey eyes and before you could think about it you pressed your lips to his in a quick kiss thankful to him for making you forget about your nerves. 

"What?" He asked laughing. He was glad to see you laughing, glad to see you opening up a little bit more and he was really glad to feel your lips against his even if it was a brief kiss. It took a couple of minutes for the laughter to die down, but once it did he was pleased to see any previous trace of nervousness had exited your body. Turning serious for a moment he locked his eyes on yours. 

"This is all about you. If you start feeling nervous again and you wanna stop we'll stop. But if you wanna keep going we'll keep going. You're in charge, okay? I'm following your lead."

A wave of love and appreciation washed over you as his words sunk in. You wanted to tell him thank you, for being so understanding, for taking this so slow, for even going along with this in the first place, but the words wouldn't come. 

Leaning down you pressed your lips against his. The kiss was slow and sweet and it reminded you of when you guys had first started, each of you taking your time in getting to know one another on this new level. And while you enjoyed the slowness and sexiness of taking your time in kissing him your body was craving more. Nipping at his bottom lip you smirked at the way his breathing picked up, the way his hand gripped just a little tighter on your waist. Taking that as a good sign that you were on the right track you ghosted your lips over his jaw before pressing a kiss under his ear. 

Acting on instinct you worked your lips down his neck in slow, soft kisses, your teeth occasionally dragging over his skin as you searched for his sweet spot. A couple more kisses down his neck and you found it. Your soft kisses turned to sucking and as you listened to Bucky's breathing pick up you reveled in the feeling of being able to bring him pleasure.

"Y/N," he groaned, a hint of warning in his voice which you ignored. 

Letting your teeth graze over the newly formed mark on his neck you peppered the spot with kisses before stopping when you felt his hips thrust against you. A surprised gasp tumbled from you, the sound becoming muffled against the reddened skin of his neck. 

Never did you think the feeling of his hips moving against you could feel so good. Grinding your own hips down against him you continued to move your lips over his neck enjoying the groans that were you able to pull from Bucky.

The feeling of your hips grinding down against his was almost too much for Bucky to handle. It didn't help that your lips continued to work over his sweet spot. And it definitely didn't help that when he opened his eyes he could see your breasts practically spilling out of your bra as you moved over him tentatively. 

The thoughts filling his head were sinful at best and though he had been the one to hand you control he was finding it more and more difficult not to flip you over and shove his fingers and tongue deep inside of you making you scream his name. Gliding his hand up your back his fingertips brushed over the clasp of your bra before his hand cupped the back of your neck gently guiding your lips away from his neck. 

"You keep that up and we're goin' to have a problem." His words which were supposed to be teasing came out sounding rougher than he intended. It was hard to talk when he could still feel your hips rolling against him, your movements alternating between hesitant and slow and more forceful.

"Did I do something wrong? I thought... I thought you were enjoying it?" Your voice was soft, hesitant and you were left doubting yourself. You avoided his gaze as your hips stilled over his suddenly unsure of everything you had been doing.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I promise." It was selfish, but he couldn't help moving his hips up against yours in search of some friction. The quiet gasp that tumbled from you had him murmuring a string of yeahs and that's it and just like that, honey. Releasing his hand from the back of your neck he placed it on your waist helping to guide your movements over him.

"Then why-," your words were cut off with a searing kiss from Bucky.

"Cause I promised we were goin' to take this slow and the way you were kissing my neck and the way you were movin' your hips was makin' it hard for me to keep that promise."

Whatever you were expecting him to say it wasn't that and his honesty caught you off guard. Although if you were being honest you liked knowing that you had that kind of power over him, that you could make him feel as good as he was making you feel. 

"So... you're fine with this?" You asked, your hips moving down harshly over his, not missing the way his gaze landed on your breasts or the way his breathing picked up. 

"But this..." Leaning down you pressed an open mouthed kiss against his sweet spot before nipping the marked skin, "Is too much?" Pulling back you were surprised to see his eyes were closed tightly, his nails digging painfully into the skin of your hips. 

"You're making this really difficult for me, Y/N," he murmured, his voice dark and laced with warning. 

It shouldn't have, but you could feel yourself getting more turned on. 

"I just want to make you feel good too, Bucky," you whispered, your voice dripping with a sweetness and sexiness that he wasn't accustomed to hearing from you. What sounded like a fuck mumbled from him had you biting your lip in an attempt to hold back your growing smile. 

"'M serious," he warned again.

This was heading towards dangerous territory, but neither of you seemed able to stop now that it had started. 

"I'm serious too," you said.

The tone of your voice had Bucky taking notice. Loosening his hold on you he stopped moving your hips, his own stilling with reluctance. The lack of movement and friction was driving him crazy and he had to keep reminding himself that this was about you and not him. Opening his eyes he parted his lips to speak, but before he could get a word in he felt your lips against his. It was so difficult to keep his hands from roaming and though he enjoyed kissing you more than he should have part of him was relieved when you pulled back.

"I know you're worried about going too fast and pushing me into something I'm not ready for, but, Bucky I want this. If I didn't I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have let it get this far." 

Letting your words sink in you took a deep breath before continuing. "And... I know you think this is only about me feeling good, but it's not. I want you to feel good too. It's not fair for only one person to get all the pleasure all the time." 

Your last words weren't about him, but about your ex and you hated how despite straddling Bucky's waist half naked and making out only moments ago your mind still returned to him.

Bucky let your words sink in. A small part of him knew that he was worrying too much about taking this slow for you, but how could he not? You were his best friend and he had always looked out for you how was he supposed to stop now? Especially now when you guys were adding sex into your relationship? 

Hearing you talk about how you wanted him to feel good too Bucky bit back a groan. You were already making him feel good, but that didn't stop his mind from conjuring up images of your hand wrapped around him, you on your knees with your lips and mouth wrapped around him. Shifting underneath you he struggled to keep his hips still. This was a serious conversation, an important one, but fuck he was beginning to have a difficult time focusing.

Sighing as the last of your words sunk in Bucky narrowed his eyes. "Let me guess you were the one giving him all the pleasure and what? You got nothing?" Part of him didn't want to hear the answer, but a small twisted part of him needed to know.

"Something like that." Admitting it out loud and to Bucky no less made you feel even more embarrassed and ashamed that you had wasted so many months dating him and had wasted so many tears on him. 

Unable to look him in the eyes you shrugged your shoulders as if it wasn't a big deal. "I'm sorry I ruined the mood again," you mumbled, a humorless laugh spilling from your lips, "We probably should have talked about all of this before we started making out, huh?"

Gritting his teeth Bucky was finding it difficult to keep his anger in check the more he learned about your relationship with your ex. "He was an asshole, Y/N and had he been any kind of man he would have been takin' care of you too."

 It wasn't your fault, but the way you shrugged your shoulders as if you were okay with the way he had treated you pissed Bucky off too. 

"Look at me." When you refused he sighed, his voice softening as he tried again. "Sweetheart, come on, look at me. Please?" When you still refused he slid his hand from your waist up to the small of your back, rubbing gentle circles against your soft skin knowing you enjoyed it and it relaxed you. 

Unsure if it was the pleading tone of Bucky's voice or the feeling of him rubbing your back again you reluctantly lifted your gaze to meet his. 

"You have nothing to apologize for and you didn't ruin the mood. 'Sides I told you I'm an expert at seducing women," he teased, shooting you a wink and when he saw you burst into laughter he swore he could feel his heart melting. For the first time since you brought the conversation up he could see you relaxing and it was such a beautiful sight he vowed to do anything he could to keep you so at ease like this.

"So now what happens?" You asked, voice soft and unsure. Despite the relaxed feeling curtesy of Bucky's magic touch this was the second time you had interrupted your make out to talk and you were worried he was getting annoyed with you.

"Anything else you need to get off your chest?" 

"No I think I'm good for now."

"Then it's up to you. You're still in charge so you tell me what you want to do."

His words were dangerous. There were so many things you wanted to do, but they weren't things you could tell your best friend about. Chewing on your lower lip you felt a wave of shyness wash over you. It was ridiculous given you were half naked sitting on his lap. "Can we... continue where we left off? And before you ask, yes, I'm sure."

Bucky's gaze flicked between your eyes and lips. Though he had said you were in charge he took the lead knowing it's what you needed right now. Instead of rushing right back in he started slow, his lips moving over yours giving you time to get back into it. His hand continued to rub your back and when he heard you sigh into the kiss he wasn't sure if it was from him deepening it or from his hand on your back. Either way he didn't care. 

Every sigh, every moan, every gasp he was able to pull and coax from you was music to his ears. It was wrong, but he couldn't wait to really touch you, to really kiss you, to really coax those sounds out of you. 

Groaning he lifted his hips up to you, surprised, but glad when he felt your own hips move against his. It didn't take long for the two of you to pick things up where you had left off and for the briefest of moments he was left wondering exactly how far you and your ex had gone. He wanted to ask, but when he felt you pull away from the kiss, your breath heavy he lost all trace of coherent thoughts. 

Watching as your eyes fluttered shut he allowed his gaze to wander down to your breasts again. Licking his lips he dragged the hand that was on your back down to your waist before sliding it to cup your ass. When you didn't stop him he gently kneaded the covered flesh groaning when he heard you moaning above him. "Still okay?"

It was better than okay, but you knew there was no way you could get the words out right now. Nodding your head yes you opened your eyes surprised to find his gaze locked on your breasts, but even more surprised to find that you enjoyed his staring so much. Stilling your hips for a moment you reached behind you, your fingers unhooking your bra, though you made no move to slide the straps down your arm. 

"I know you've been staring since I took my shirt off," you teased, hoping he wouldn't be able to hear the nerves that laced your words. "You can take it off."

Bucky flushed, partly for being called out and partly because you were trusting him enough to take this further. His own hips stilled as he swallowed. He took his time, his fingertips ghosting up your sides, moving up your arms before finally resting on your shoulders. Sliding his thumb under each of the straps he looked at you his eyes questioning.

"I'm sure." Was all you said before pressing a kiss to his lips. To your surprise he didn't make a move to slide the straps down. 

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

With that confirmation Bucky slid his thumbs out from underneath your straps, his eyes locking on yours as his hands slipped to grip the back of your thighs. With an expertness that left you wondering just how many times he had done this before he rolled the two of you over so you were on your back and he was hovering over you. His thigh nestled between your parted legs as his hand moved to rest by your head caging you in and doing his best to keep his weight off of you.

The new position caught you off guard for a moment, but you liked it. You liked feeling his weight on you. "I thought you said I was in charge," you teased.

"You are."

"Really? Cause it kinda seems like you are."

"You're still in charge, I promise. Relax... Let me take of you, yeah?" He asked, his lips brushing over yours. Seeing you nod your head yes he smirked. 

His eyes locked on yours and you could see the question in there, nodding your head yes again you sighed as he kissed you once before pulling back, his fingertips reaching for the straps of your bra he slowly, oh so slowly removed the garment, pulling it down your arms before tossing it somewhere on your floor, his eyes never leaving you. You could feel yourself growing wetter the longer he stared. For once you didn't feel embarrassed even though the only thing separating you was your underwear. Your skin felt like it was on fire, your heart pounding heavily inside your chest.

"Bucky," you whispered, your voice so soft you weren't sure he could hear you. Shifting underneath him you sighed when you felt his thigh brush against you. The friction was electric, but it still wasn't enough. You weren't used to this, this being taken care of so sweetly and though you felt a tinge of embarrassment about asking him for what you needed you felt if he didn't do something and soon you were going to explode. 

"Touch me. Please."

Bucky shouldn't have been, but he was surprised by the neediness and the absolute want that laced those three words. His erection was painfully hard and as much as he wanted to push your underwear to the side and slide right into you he knew he couldn't. Not yet. 

Licking his lips he nodded his head, his lips dipping down to the corner of your mouth as he slid his hand up from your waist to cup your breast. Your nipples were hard against his rough and calloused hand and it was taking all of his self control not to rush into this. 

Listening to your breathing pick up he smiled to himself. Using a little bit more force he continued to palm your breast, his fingers twisting your nub as he searched for what you liked and didn't. "Like this?" He teased, his mouth against your ear, his warm breath fanning over you causing you to whine.

Arching your back you tangled your hands in his hair, your head tilting to the side as you bit back a moan. "Y-yeah, but more." Your voice came out breathy and needy and you swore if he didn't stop teasing you were going to cry you were so frustrated.

Sliding his hand to your other breast he gave it the same treatment enjoying maybe more than he should have the way your hands curled and tangled in his dark locks. The way your back arched pushing your chest against his own. The skin on skin contact was almost more than he could handle and he could feel his control starting to chip away. 

The rational part of his brain that was still working was telling him to put a stop to this, to at least slow this down a little before things went too far. But the rest of his brain, the one hazy with lust and want for you only wanted to keep going, wanted to give you what you were asking for, what you so desperately needed. 

Moving his lips down your neck in slow, torturous kisses he couldn't help grinning against your hot skin the way your breath hitched in anticipation when his lips moved down to your chest. "Still okay?" He murmured, lips pausing as he waited for your answer.

Unable to speak you tugged on his hair, your head nodding yes, your teeth tugging on your bottom lip so hard you swore you were going to break the skin open any minute. 

You wanted to verbally tell him yes, god yes, everything was okay, more than okay, but the only thing that came out were more whimpers and whines. You could hear Bucky chuckling and you wanted to tell him to shut up, but the words got stuck in the back of your throat when you felt his lips wrap around your nipple. 

Threading your fingers through his hair you let out a whine when you felt his lips pull away only to move to your other breast. Tilting your head back against the pillow you marveled at the way everything felt so good, better than it ever had with your ex. And you weren't sure if it was because you felt more comfortable with Bucky or if it was because he was lavishing so much attention on you, something you weren't used to.

Bucky continued to suck on your breast for another minute before slowly pulling his lips away, his darkened eyes taking you in from the way your chest rose and fell to the light sheen of sweat that coated your forehead to the way your messy hair was fanned out over your pillow. His eyes roamed over the skin of your chest and your neck that was littered with dark purple bruises, bruises he had caused marking you. You weren't his, but watching you laying underneath him, your body still squirming as you sought out friction he wanted you to be his.

It was a dangerous thought and when he had tried telling you this wasn't going to work this was what he had been talking about. It was far too easy for the lines to blur between friends when sex was added. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind he smiled softly as his eyes trailed up to your kiss swollen lips and when he watched your eyes flutter open a soft frown on your face he brushed his lips over yours lightly.

"Is everything okay?" You asked softly, your fingers untangling from his hair as your hands moved down his back exploring the muscles and smooth skin. It was selfish of you, especially when you had been the one to stop things and talk twice before, but you missed the intense feeling of his lips on yours, the way he'd let his thigh brush against your core. You giggled softly when you felt his nose brush against yours, a quiet hum spilling from his lips as he did so. 

"Everything's okay," he murmured, his hand trailing down your side to rest on your waist. How was he supposed to tell you that he had to stop things for a minute because if he didn't he wasn't sure he would be able to stop? 

Silence fell between you giving you a chance to catch your breath as your eyes locked on his. It was a sweet moment, one reminiscent of lovers sharing unspoken words, but you guys weren't lovers and the longer you stared into his eyes the harder it was to remember that. His gaze was intense and it left you clenching your thighs together and biting your lower lip wondering what it would be like to have him staring at you like that from between your legs. 

"Don't bite your lip like that." He growled quietly.

You weren't sure what caught you off guard more, his words or the growl that spilled from his lips. It was a nervous habit of yours, biting your lip and though he had never said anything to you about it before you wondered if it annoyed him. You could feel the hand that was on your waist sliding up your side, his fingers brushing the side of your breast causing you to finally release your lower lip as a quiet gasp spilled from you. His hand cupped your cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing over your skin. 

"Why?" 

Bucky's gaze never left yours even as the pad of thumb brushed across your swollen lips. He was amazed how you hadn't broken the skin open yet with all the biting and tugging you had been doing. 

"Because," he murmured, voice still low as he slowly pushed his thumb past your lips, surprised when he felt your tongue swipe over the pad before you switched to sucking gently, your eyes never leaving his. All he could think about was how he wished you were sucking on something else of his as he watched you with darkened eyes. 

"You have no idea what seeing you bite your lip does to me." Bucky wasn't sure if he was crossing some unspoken line by saying that, but fuck, he didn't care right now, not when he could feel your teeth grazing over his thumb. 

His breath hitched and never for a moment did he think he would get so turned on by this. He felt your tongue swipe over his thumb again and with much reluctance on his part he slowly pulled his thumb out of your mouth, groaning when he saw it glistening from your lips and tongue. 

"God, Bucky," you whispered, your thighs clenching together, your hands stroking his back, his neck, his hair. You couldn't get enough of his touch underneath your fingertips. 

"Yeah." Was all he said, his voice as soft as yours.

Biting your lip again you pulled your teeth away when you heard him groaning. For a moment you had forgotten what he had said. Swallowing you glanced up at him, your voice shaky, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. "I'm still in charge, right? So I mean... can we... I..." 

"Yeah. Course, whatever you want, Y/N," he replied, despite not knowing what you were asking. His gaze softened, a small encouraging smile curling up his lips as he watched you with curious eyes.

Pushing on his shoulders Bucky got the hint as he rolled off of you, laying on his back. You wasted no time in moving to straddle his lap again before asking him to sit up. Resting your hands on his shoulders he placed his hands on your waist steadying you. Pressing your chest against his you sighed at the skin on skin contact as you kissed him sweetly. Your movements weren't as smooth as his when he had switched your position earlier and you were left feeling awkward and clumsy. 

"Is this okay?"

Bucky found it difficult to reply to your question when all he could focus on was the feeling of your breasts pressed so firmly against his chest, the feeling of you in his lap again making it all too easy for you to grind down on his throbbing erection, the feeling of so much skin on skin contact was driving him crazy as was knowing that the only thing that separated the two of you were his boxers and your underwear. 

"You didn't like the other position?" He teased, feeling the need to break the tension before he did or said something he'd regret. 

"I did, but I just...," you started, pausing as you struggled to gather your thoughts. Sighing you shrugged your shoulders, your fingers toying with the hair that rested at the back of his neck. "I like this better. I don't know." 

"Yeah?" He asked as he slid his hand up your back, rubbing circles against your skin in an attempt to get you to relax again. He hated seeing you so unsure, so shy anytime he asked you a question. 

"I like this position too," he whispered, pressing his mouth against your ear enjoying the way you shivered in his arms. 

"You do?" You asked, your voice breathy, your eyes fluttering shut as you melted into his touch. 

"Course," he started, his lips working their way down your neck in soft, sweet kisses in an attempt to get you fully relaxed again. "I like bein' able to hold you, bein' able to touch you, bein' able to help you move and ya know sometimes it's nice giving up control." 

His last words caused you to giggle which turned into a quiet moan when you felt his lips sucking another bruise into your neck. It felt too good for you to tell him to stop even though you knew you should. Tangling your fingers in his hair you ground your hips down against his. 

"What are you saying? You're always in control when you hook up?" You questioned, both wanting to and not wanting to know the answer.

Bucky let his teeth graze over your neck when he felt your hips moving against his. The friction after time without it felt so good he had to struggle to control himself again as thoughts of sliding your underwear to the side and slipping inside of you, letting you ride him until you're screaming his name invaded his mind. 

The only thing semi keeping him in control is the current conversation. Despite being best friends and telling each other almost everything when it came to sex and relationships it was something the two of you kept mostly to yourselves. 

"Most the time," he replied easily, his lips trailing down to your throat. "I like being in control."

Tilting your head back to grant him more access you let out a content sigh, feeling a little strange at the conversation at hand, but also kind of enjoying getting to know him on a deeper, more intimate level. "Then why did you give up control for me?"

The question is point blank, but it still caused him to stop his actions. It should be easy to answer, but it's not. How is he supposed to tell you that he gave it up cause you're different? Cause this is more to him than just sex? Cause he wanted you to be comfortable and relaxed with everything that happened? He can't tell you that so he goes with the next best thing. The truth, the truth that he know you won't believe. Shrugging his shoulders he kissed up the other side of your neck, his hand continuing to rub your back. 

"Cause you're special to me."

"Oh my god, Bucky," you laughed, "How many times have you used that line before and how many times has it actually worked?" You can't stop laughing and though you feel kinda bad pretty soon he's joining in on the laughter too.

"Told ya, sweetheart, I'm an expert at seducing women," he replied, winking at you which sets you off on another round of laughter.

Burying your head in his neck it takes a couple minutes before your laughter dies down. When it does and you pull back to look at him you're surprised to see the intensity has returned to his eyes. You didn’t mean to, but the way he's looking at you has you biting your lip again. "What?"

The hand that had been rubbing circles on your back stopped as he lifted it up to your face, cupping your cheek his eyes never left yours. He heard your question, but he can't answer you. Not when what he wants to tell you is how beautiful you look right now, how beautiful you sound when you're laughing at something he said. No, all he can do is growl when he sees your pearly white teeth pulling on your swollen lip again. 

"What did I tell you about that, Y/N?" 

And just like that the mood has shifted from joyful and joking to something darker, something that has you feeling your underwear getting even wetter. You can feel his hand sliding from your back down to your ass and you gasp when you feel him kneading the covered flesh. The action has you unintentionally grinding your hips against his again, you can't help it, not when he's staring at you like he wants to take you right here, right now. 

"I don't know, James, what did you tell me?" Your voice is sultry, the use of his first name sounding foreign as it rolls off your tongue. 

You're not used to this, this banter and the intense stares, the utter sexiness of the situation and you have to keep reminding yourself you guys are just friends, nothing else. 

Bucky is rendered speechless. Between you using his first name in that tone of voice that's dripping with sex and lust and the way you're still fucking biting your lip, he's never seen anything sexier and it takes all his self control and will not to flip the two of you over right now and show you all the ways he could make you scream his name. 

The hand on your waist moves to your ass, both of his hands kneading the flesh before roughly guiding you over him. The move has him groaning, the friction feeling so good and he can't deny the way your nails dig into the back of his neck, the way you start moving your hips on your own, the way your head tilts back as moans tumble from your lips, all of it so fucking hot it has his need for you growing. With your head tilted back he takes the time to ghost his lips over your throat as he continues to help guide your movements, his own hips thrusting up to meet yours. 

"Told you not to fuckin' bite your lip," he growled against your throat. 

Everything is hot and hard and fast and you never knew it could feel so good. You never realized how much pleasure you were missing out on when you had spent so many months wasting it on a guy who didn't give two shits about you.

 "B-Bucky," you moaned, your fingers tugging on his hair as you guide his lips back to your mouth. Kissing him hungrily your teeth nip at his bottom lip and you grin when you feel him groaning, his hands digging into the flesh of your ass. 

"Yeah? And what are you going to do if I do bite my lip?"

"Jesus, Y/N," he groaned. Bucky thought he knew everything about you, thought he knew all the different sides to your personality, but this, this he was not expecting. Sure, he knew that you could get sarcastic and you had a big personality, but he did not expect you to be so fucking sexy in the bedroom and it leaves him wondering if you were like this with your ex or if it's just with him. It's wrong, but the thought of you with your ex has him feeling possessive. Sliding his hands from your ass back to your waist his grip is tight, possessive and all he wants to do is erase your memories of you and your ex and replace them with him. "You wanna know what 'M gonna do?"

"Y-yes," you moaned, your earlier bravado fading a bit as you continue to rock against him. 

Everything is moving so fast, too fast and as the sounds of your heavy breaths and moans mix together you begin to feel overwhelmed by the situation, everything is so intense and different with Bucky and though you don't want to stop, you never want to stop you know that you need to slow this down. Resting your forehead against his you take a deep breath, your hips slow down and you can hear Bucky whining as he continues to thrust against you. 

"Bucky... Bucky, wait, just... s-slow down for a minute." 

While his brain hears you pleading for him to slow down it takes his body an extra minute to comprehend, but when it does he stops immediately, guilt flooding through him. He drops his hands from your waist, his eyes wide with worry and fear over the idea that he had pushed you too far. "Shit, Y/N, 'M sorry.”

Confusion is written across your face and when you pull away from Bucky you're surprised to see the worry written across his own face. "I didn't say I wanted to stop... only to slow down a little," you whispered, feeling embarrassed at having put a stop to things for the third time tonight. 

"I like what we're doing, Bucky. Really like it." You grind your hips against his for emphasis as you press a kiss to his lips. "I just want to take things a little slower. There's no rush, right? We have all night." 

You can still see the doubt on his face, not that you expected it to be gone, this was Bucky you were talking about. Pressing another kiss to his lips you move your mouth to his neck peppering his warm skin with open mouthed kisses. When he still doesn't make a move to continue you sigh. 

"Bucky. Please, I want this. I want you." It's dirty, but you pull your lips away from his neck as you look down at him, your teeth tugging your lip knowing that at least that'll get a reaction out of him. 

He's hesitant, but slowly he places his hands back on your hips, doubt mixing with pleasure as he watches you bite your lip, feels your hips moving against his slower, but somehow sexier. He watches as you moan, a small smile curling up your lips when you hit a particular spot that has you pulling him closer to you. He's still hesitant, so afraid of going too far, going too fast, he wants to apologize again, but the words don't come out, not when your fucking teeth are tugging on that fucking lip and by the glint in your eyes he can tell you're doing it on purpose now. 

"'M really sorry," he murmured and you can tell by his voice how guilty he still feels.

"Bucky," you sighed, your hips stopping again. "It's okay, really. I just need a slower pace for right now, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he agreed, albeit reluctantly. 

Watching your face for any sign of discomfort he gives you full control vowing not to do anything until you tell him it's okay. He can feel your lips working over the sweet spot on his neck and despite still feeling guilty he can't help the moan that tumbles from his lips as your teeth graze his neck and your hips move down over his again. His grip on you tightens and although he wants nothing more than to continue the fast and hard pace of earlier he has to admit the slower pace is nice too. He likes being able to feel you pressing down against him, likes being able to hear your little whimpers and gasps and slowly, oh so slowly he can feel himself getting back into the rhythm as his guilt subsides.

"Is this okay?" Kissing up his neck you whine when you feel him begin to move up against you. The slower pace is exactly what you needed, it's not so overwhelming and as your hips rock against his you press your mouth against his ear, letting him know just how much you're enjoying this.

Between your moans against his ear and the pace Bucky feels like he's going to explode. He never knew slow could feel so good. Never knew just how good it could feel to give up control to someone else. 

"Yeah," he groaned, sliding a hand to your lower back. "This better for you?"

The pace of your hips picks up ever so slightly as you pull your mouth away from Bucky's ear. Nodding your head yes you smile down at him, your fingers tugging on his hair.

"S-so much better. Don't stop, don't ever stop," you begged. 

Bucky can't help grinning when he hears you begging, the sound is like music to his ears. "Yeah? You like this, baby?" He teased. 

Unable to speak you nod your head yes again, your lips dipping down to catch his in a passionate kiss. "Bucky...," you mumbled in between kisses. "I'm getting close."

Bucky groaned, those four words making him almost come right there. The tone of your voice, the shyness mixed with sweetness mixed with a neediness to release all the pent up frustration from the day has him wondering what you're going to look like when you come, what you're going to sound like, and it's wrong, so fucking wrong, you're his best friend, but he can't help it and it's only when he feels your nails in his shoulders that he comes back to his senses. 

"Tell me what you need, Y/N, let me make you feel good."

His words have you shivering in his arms. The fact that he wants to make you feel good is such a contrast from your ex and for a minute you're lost, you don't know what to tell him, you've never been in this position before. 

"Don't... don't stop," you moaned, your head tilting back as you pick up the pace of your hips.

Seeing your head tilted back Bucky takes the opportunity to press open mouthed kisses against your throat, your neck, your chest, anywhere he can get his lips. "Come on, let go for me," he murmured, his voice sounding like velvet as his hips move up against yours roughly.

Parting your lips to tell him you're almost there you yelp in surprise, your body stiffening, your eyes going wide, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks when you hear the loud pounding on door.

"Y/N? Do you have a boy in there?" Comes the teasing voice of your best friend and roommate Natasha. 

"Shit, shit, shit," you mumbled, a few tears leaking from your eyes as you glance down at Bucky to see his blue eyes widened with panic. You hadn't told her about your arrangement with Bucky yet and now was not how you wanted to have that conversation. 

"Um...," you started, glancing down at him for help when he only shrugged his shoulders helplessly you panic. "No? I mean... yes.. kind of?" Glaring at Bucky you cover his mouth with your hand when he starts to chuckle at your panicked response.

"Uh huh. Well when you two get done we've got takeout."

"We? Who's we?" You called, your panic rising at the thought of having to explain this to not just one, but two people.

"Steve."

Dropping your hand from Bucky's mouth you glare at him. "Not so funny now, is it?" You snapped, struggling to keep your voice quiet before you yell to Natasha that you'll be out in a minute. 

You're frozen on Bucky's lap as the events of the day catch up with you and the more you think about having to explain this to both Steve and Natasha the more panicked you get. There's no way of getting off of Bucky's lap without him seeing all of you and though you know after everything you guys have been through it's ridiculous to be feeling shy now, but that's exactly what you're feeling. 

"This is humiliating," you mumbled, burying your head in his neck. "What are we supposed to tell them? God what if they heard us? Heard me? And the worst part about all of this? I was so close!" Given the circumstances of the situation you know it's stupid to be upset about not finishing, but it had been so long since someone had given you an orgasm. Sure, you got yourself off, but it wasn't the same as someone else. 

Bucky's hands are on your back in an instant, his lips whispering soothing words in your ear though he knows it's useless. He doesn't know what to say to make this better for you. He had planned on telling Steve about the two of you, but that was when they were alone, not in front of Natasha or you. 

"Hey, come on, it's okay. Think of it this way, we tell them, they know and then we get food, yeah? That's something to look forward to."

"Really? Really, James? Food? That's what you're thinking about right now? Not about us telling our best friends that we're hooking up? Or having to go out there and having them know we were in the middle of a hook up?"

"When you phrase it like that it sounds bad, honey."

Lifting your head from his neck you glare at him. This isn't his fault, but you can't help being mad at him for thinking about food right now. Not when all you can think about is how close you had been to finishing and about having to explain this. Swiping at the few tears that had fallen you sigh in frustration as you get off Bucky's lap and reach down for your clothes. Grabbing your bra you quickly put it on before grabbing your shirt and jeans. Pulling those on you toss Bucky his jeans avoiding his gaze as he gets dressed.

"Hey, it's okay, come here," he coaxed. 

You don't want to. You want the floor to open up and swallow you, but you know if anyone can make you feel better it's him. Sighing you step into his open arms, burying your head in his bare chest as you struggle to hold back your tears.

Bucky presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. "Here's what's goin' to happen. We'll go out there and pretend it's not a big deal. I'll talk to Steve when we're alone and you can tell Nat when you guys are alone, okay? It doesn't have to be awkward. We're all adults here and we're all friends they'll understand."

Sniffling you nod your head. It's not the greatest plan, but you guys don't have a lot of options.

"And as for you not finishing I promise next time I'll get you off. As many times as you want, however you want," he murmured lowly.

You can feel heat rising to your face, but you nod your head. "Who says there's going to be a next time?"

Bucky smirked. "The way you were moaning my name? There's going to be a next time, sweetheart."

"I think you're exaggerating. I was not moaning your name that much."

"Really? So it wasn't you beggin' me not to stop? Multiple times?"

"Shut up," you said, a smile curling up your lips as you take a deep breath heading towards your bedroom door. Reaching for the doorknob you pause when you feel Bucky's hand on your wrist. 

"Hey, before we go out there I gotta ask. Before, when you wanted to slow down, that wasn't your first time doin' that was it?" The way he asked it has your heart melting, he looks so shy, so sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck.

Shaking your head no you glance down at the floor before looking back up at him. "It wasn't my first time, but it was my first time doing that practically naked and it was just... intense. In a good way. I promise."

Satisfied with your answer he nods his head once. "Can I ask another question?"

"Sure."

"When was the last time someone got you off?"

"Bucky!" 

"What? We saw each other almost naked, I almost got you off, it's a fair question. You can't tell me you're embarrassed by that after what we did," he said smirking.

"I hate you," you muttered, your hand twisting the doorknob you open your bedroom door and take a tentative step out. You can hear Steve and Natasha's quiet voices in the kitchen and when you turn around you can see Bucky still smirking at you.

"Not what you were moaning earlier," he shot back, his face flushing as he sees Natasha and Steve entering the living room, a look of amusement and surprise on their faces.

"Well. This is interesting," Natasha said, her gaze flickering between you and Bucky as Steve stands next to her, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyebrows raised.