The North Star
Why did it have to be somewhere cold? You let out a sigh but instantly regretted it. The movement of your chest sent a new sharp pain through your body. You froze. There was pain radiating from your left leg, your left ribcage, and the front of your head. Shit. You didn’t think you would take this much damage from merely falling through a portal. If someone found you like this you were in trouble. You attempted to shift your head to get a view of your surroundings but your body refused. You remained faced down in something soft, and cold. Snow? Was I in Jotunheim? You remained still, unable to see you relied on your other senses to determine your location. Not Jotunheim. It was cold but the air had a far different feel to it, it was lighter, crisper. I can't stay like this. You forced your arms up to your sides slowly, forming an almost a push-up position. You can do this. Just one quick movement and it’s over. You psyched yourself up in your head before taking a deep breath. You ignored the pain in your chest and forced yourself up onto your hands before quickly flipping over onto your back. The movement sent fresh pain throughout your entire body and a sharp groan escaped your lips. Okay. Good. now sit up. Minutes ticked by but your body refused to move, refused to even open your eyes. The pain slowly began to dwindle in your head and chest but your leg felt like it was on fire. Why wasn’t the pain going away? You waited a few more minutes, the rest of your pain was nearly gone, but the pain in your leg had only gotten worse. What the Hel? You took a deep breath slowly forcing open one of your eyes. The world around you was dark. Thank the gods. You quickly shot the other eye open, taking in your surroundings. Like you thought you were surrounded by snow. Great... You took a closer look around you, trees dotted the landscape but it was mostly open field, and completely covered in snow. Wonderful…You pushed down with your right hand but the snow just seemed to continue past your elbow. Even better... You let out a soft groan. Of course, it wouldn’t be a warm realm.
You brought your arms up to your chest, pulling your cloak tightly around you. The warmth from the Asgardian sun was gone, and you were left feeling cold and alone. A shiver went down your spine causing the pain in your leg to intensify. Shit. You winced, pulling your arms tighter around you, waiting for some of the pain to subside. What is happening? You carefully propped yourself up on your elbows and slowly started scanning down your body before settling on your leg. Your breath caught in your throat as you took in the sight. At first, all you saw was the blood soaking the snow around you, but then you made out your knee, then your foot. But something was wrong, they didn’t line upright, it was like you were looking in a broken mirror. The shock began to fade and your brain finally deciphered what it was looking at. Your leg had been broken at the shin. Normally broken bones healed the same as others, but this was different. The bone broke so bad it splintered outside your body. The realization of the injury hit you hard, making you turn to your side, dry heaving into the snow. You took deep breaths trying to regain control. It’s okay, you can fix it. You’ve done it before. You pleaded with yourself to calm down, and slowly your body complied. You took a few more moments before turning back to fully examine your leg. The bone broke about halfway between your knee and ankle, currently, it was protruding about 10 centimeters past the skin. Looking closer, your skin had begun to heal around the broken bone, the bleeding had nearly stopped, yet your leg was far from healed. Shit. No. No. NO. You let out a frustrated scream and fell back into the snow. Your eyes gazed up at the sky as your thoughts wandered back to Asgard. Maybe Heimdall was right? Maybe this was futile. The pain continued to radiate up your leg as your body tried to heal a wound it didn’t understand. I gave up a loving home for what? To die in the snow in the barren wastelands of...of...where the Hel am I? You focused more on the stars above you, the constellations were far different from the ones you were used to, but there was some familiarity in them. You began to rack your brain. Come on, you know this. Someone taught you these remember. Your mind began jumping from one memory to another, trying to find the lesson someone had taught you about the constellations of the different realms. Heimdall. No. Frigga. No. Thor. No-wait! The memory began to form in your mind.
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You were in the library, soaking up as much knowledge as possible. You were still relatively new to Asgard but had become familiar enough that you would escape to the library almost every night to learn something new. Half the things you didn’t understand completely or didn't retain but you loved learning about new things, something you didn’t have a chance to do in the dungeon. Your hand brushed over different books on the shelf, trying to decide what you would read tonight when your eyes caught a word you couldn’t quite make out?
“Con-steal-late-ions?”
The word didn’t sound right but you were intrigued so you snatched the book off the shelf and made your way to the nearby window. With its light, you attempted to make out the title of the book.
“Con-steal-late-ions, stars of the realms.”
You had to admit you were already hooked. You loved the stars, the night sky brought you peace. Maybe it was because for so many years all you saw was the stone walls of your cell. You quickly cracked open the book. It listed out the different realms and which page each could be found on. You quickly flipped to Asgard, a beautiful picture of the golden city took up the entire page. You flipped to the next page which had a picture of multiple stars which formed a shape similar to a horse.
“Sly-p-nir?”
The word once again didn’t sound right, but who were you to judge the names of the stars.
“Visible during the winter months, Sleep-ner, the 8-legged horse of legend, protects the fort-e-fied walls that border Asgard.”
You gazed out the window, it was mid-winter, so you should be able to see the stars. But you couldn’t seem to make out the form of a horse. Frustrated you flipped to the next page.
“Fen-rear…the giant wolf and the de-vow-or-er of all, visible in the winter months, stalks the castle waiting for its final showdown with the All-father.”
Go giant wolf. The thought of a giant wolf eating Odin brought a small smile to your lips. You gazed out at the stars again, but couldn’t make out any shapes. You turned back to the book, this group of stars was supposed to be over the castle, maybe you just needed a better view. You quickly tucked the book beneath your robes and snuck out of the library.
You crept down the halls slowly, making your way to the large courtyard you knew had the best view of the sky. Each small sound along the way sent you against the wall, hugging the shadows. Normally the sounds were nothing, the wind, a stray crow, but occasionally a pair of guards would pass you by. You knew your fear was unnecessary, but you couldn’t stop the reflex to hide from each guard you saw. For a normal person, the trip to the courtyard from the library would take maybe 10 minutes. But here you were, an hour later, finally arriving in the open area. You stayed cloaked in the pillar at the entrance, scanning the area, before realizing it was completely empty. You hesitantly stepped out into the open, removing the book from your robes and thumbing to the pages on Asgard.
“Over the castle…”
You turned your sight to the sky directly above you, scanning the stars for any shape.
“Come on.”
You brought the book up for reference, trying to find something, a landmark, to maybe go off of. You continued your scan of the sky. Maybe they got the month wrong?
“(Y/N)? See brother I told you it was her!”
The loud voice mixed with your name made you flinch, the book fell from your hands. With nowhere to hide in the open courtyard, you simply fell to your knees, covering your head with your arms.
“(Y/N)? What are you doing?”
You heard the loud voice again, this time much closer.
“You buffoon! You scared her, you know she startles easily!”
The second voice was quieter, even with him yelling at the other one. In fact, you recognized that voice.
“Loki?”
You slowly dropped your arms from your head, revealing Loki kneeling in front of you and Thor standing a bit behind him with an ashamed look on his face.
“I’m sorry he startled you. Are you alright?”
You gave him a soft nod. Your heart was still racing but you had begun to calm.
“I do apologize, I did not mean to scare you (Y/N).”
Thor’s voice was much quieter as his eyes dropped to the floor unable to meet yours.
“It’s okay. I didn’t expect anyone else to be up.”
“Speaking of which, what are you doing awake. Furthermore, what are you doing here of all places?”
Loki’s voice was filled with concern. You could understand why, you rarely left your room when you weren’t with him or Frigga. And on the off chance, you did it was mostly to the library, not a large open area with no places to hide.
“I-“
“Constellations?”
You both turned to Thor who had picked up the book you dropped. Wait that’s how you say it?
“I had no knowledge you had a love of the stars!”
You could hear the low groan come from Loki as Thor excitedly flipped through the pages.
“Ah, Fenrir should be quite visible tonight.”
You mentally kicked yourself again for your poor pronunciation. But watched as Thor turned towards the castle lifting up a single thumb to the tallest spire.
“Ah yes, clear as day.”
“What?!”
The word left your lips much louder than you had intended causing both Loki and Thor to turn to you, looks of pure confusion on their faces. You paused for a moment, your eyes darting from the book to the ground to the sky and back again. I want to see the wolf.
“I couldn’t find it.”
This time your voice was so low you doubted either of them heard it. But before you knew it Thor was standing right in front of you a hand outstretched.
“Would you like me to show you?”
You gave him a soft nod before taking his outstretched hand. Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Loki glaring at Thor as he led you to a spot in the center of the courtyard.
“Simply take your thumb, and place it against the highest spire on the castle.”
Thor carefully maneuvered your hand so your thumb was positioned flush against the spire. At least from this perspective.
“Now, the tip of your thumb will show you the bottom of Fenrir’s jaw.”
You fixed your gaze on your thumb, moving up till the first star appeared from its edge. Two more stars just above that one formed a triangle-like pattern. I see it now. You continued to follow the path of the stars, the single star representing the nose, the two brighter ones for the eyes, the smaller triangles for the ears. You pulled your thumb away and the full image of Fenrir came to view, a mighty-looking wolf, baring its teeth to the castle.
“That’s amazing.”
You heard a soft huff from Loki but refused to pull your eyes away from the sight of the wolf.
“There is more, each constellation has a tale or prophecy to pair with it. Fenrir’s is the tale of a beast, who stalks the castle. If he senses a hint of weakness he will descend from the heavens and unleash his wrath on all of Asgard.”
That tale was slightly different from the one you read but definitely had the same feel.
“Do not pollute her with your foolish fantasies.”
Loki had moved beside you and was shooting another glare at Thor.
“Constellations may have stories behind them, but their true purpose is to guide the lost. For instance, Fenrir leads directly to the castle, if you follow the stars of his lower jaw it is an arrow pointing you directly to the throne.”
You hadn’t thought of that before, but he had a point, no matter where you were as long as you could find the constellation you would have a big sign pointing you home.
“Or Sleipnir for instance. Loki pointed off to his left. His snout points towards the Bifrost while his tail is said to lead to Valhalla.”
You searched the area Loki was gesturing to but couldn’t make out the figure of a horse. Loki must have caught your questioning look, as he quickly but carefully scooped up your hand.
“Like this.”
He held your hand out to the horizon, fingers spread wide. His hand covered yours and slowly moved it over the horizon.
“You are looking for three stars in a perfect line that fits between the gaps of your fingers.”
He continued to shift your hand, normally you were uncomfortable with this kind of closeness, but at that moment your mind was far too focused on finding Sleipnir. Your hand came to a pause and you noticed the three stars in a perfect line between the gap of your thumb and pointer finger.
“Now if you look between your other fingers, you will notice three stars in each, not in perfect lines but close.”
You cast your gaze over the rest of your fingers. He’s right! Between each finger was a set of three stars, not in perfect lines, some took on more triangular shapes but each fit perfectly between your fingers.
“If you look to your thumb, you will see a brighter star that is the snout, likewise if you look at your pinky finger, the brighter star is the tail.”
Loki said this all so matter-of-factly, but you began to notice the slight shake in his hand that was holding yours.
“I see it. Thank you.”
You turned towards Loki who was standing even closer than you realized. Your noses nearly touched before you both took a half step back.
“It was no problem. If you would like I could show you more sometime.”
You figured the lights from the lanterns were playing tricks on you as you thought you saw a blush appear on Loki’s cheeks.
“And I can share the tales of the stars as you gaze at them.”
Thor threw his arms around his brother giving you the biggest smile. The blush on Loki’s face, if it was ever there, quickly disappeared being replaced with a look of pure annoyance.
“What good are the fables, they have no reasonable value.”
“The stories are the best part.”
“What good are stories when you are lost in the woods?”
“They keep you entertained, keep your spirits raised.”
“So would finding your way home.”
A laugh began to fill the courtyard. Loki and Thor froze mid-squabble turning to you. You didn’t even realize the laugh was yours until it stopped when you took a breath. You clapped a hand over your mouth. You don’t remember the last time you laughed that hard…in fact, you don’t think you ever did. Silence filled the courtyard as your gaze fell to the floor.
“See (Y/N) understands. Entertainment brings meaning to life.”
Thor let out a large laugh and you couldn't help but smile.
“You are both insane.”
The words were harsh but you could tell Loki didn’t mean them as a soft smile appeared on his face as well.
After that night you met with the bothers once a week to study the constellations and learn their stories. Once you finished with Asgard you moved onto the other realms, and even though you couldn’t see them, Loki always made sure you knew how to find each constellation and how to navigate your way home.
“Mid-gard? Home to man-kind, mortals?”
“I have always wanted to visit that realm, I hear they throw amazing celebrations.”
Thor was even more excited than usual.
“I do not understand your fascination with them. They are weak creatures who can barely live a century.”
Really? Only a century? You had heard of beings with shorter life spans but had never met one before. You never imagined a person only living a hundred years.
“They might not have a long life but they live that life to the fullest.”
Thor spoke as if he had met these mortals before. But you gathered his knowledge came from books and stories, like most things you learned.
“I must give them some credit.” Loki flipped through the pages of the constellation book. “With the short insignificant lives they have, they created useful constellations.”
You began to get used to these back-handed compliments Loki gave out. You gathered most of the time he really was insulting the person. But on rare occasions, like this one, he really was impressed, and just didn’t want to show it. You didn't realize you were staring at him until his gaze met yours. You quickly shifted your gaze to the book in front of him, trying to control the heat rising to your cheeks. Either Loki didn't notice or choose to ignore it, you figured it was the latter.
“So which one should we start with?”
“Orion! Or Aries!”
Thor was practically jumping up and down as Loki thumbed through the book.
“No. We start with the important ones. Here.”
Loki stopped on a page with a picture that looked like a ladle.
“Huh?”
Both you and Thor made the same expression as you looked at the unimpressive picture.
“Is it a magic ladle that points to water?”
Your question was half serious, half a complete joke.
“Maybe it leads to a bountiful feast.”
Thor seemed to take your question seriously and added his own hypothesis to match.
“No.”
You could hear the irritation in Loki’s voice.
“Then what does it guide you to?”
Your question was sincere, you liked joking with Thor, usually to Loki’s expense. But knew all Loki was trying to do was help in case, gods forbid, you ended up in an unknown place with no knowledge of where to go. Your sincerity seemed to calm him down as Loki took a deep breath before explaining.
“Although this constellation does not itself show paths to anything significant, it does point you towards the most important star in their northern sky. If you follow the edges of the ladle, you will find the brightest star in the sky. The North Star as they call it. This star unlike others remains in one constant position, if you then follow the North Star, you will be sure to be heading on a straight path and therefore more likely to stumble across a village.”
As Loki talked he pointed to each star showing you how to find them and where the North Star should be.
“These mortals must put a lot of stock in fate to follow a star that could lead anywhere.”
Thor half-laughed.
“Well, they are simple creatures. However, even knowing you are heading in a straight path rather than in circles is far better than nothing.”
You understood each of their points. Constellations were like maps, to have them point in a general direction rather than a specific place seemed not worth the work. However, if you were lost in the middle of nowhere and all you had was a star to go off of, you would hold on to that star with all your might. Another fight erupted between Loki and Thor, but you had accustomed to their little spats and pushed them to the back of your mind, choosing instead to focus on the book. TheBig Dipper.The Little Dipper. Orion. They were far different from the intricate constellations of Asgard, but then again, if you only lived 100 years, your work would probably be less complex. You traced over the lines of the Midgaridan constellations, etching them into your memory. Maybe this could save me someday.
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As the memory began to fade your eyes focused back on the stars above you. You scanned the twinkling lights attempting to make out any patterns. Seconds turned into minutes but the stars refused to take any shape you knew. Come on. You softly shook your head trying to reset your vision. Reopening your eyes you caught a glimpse of a slightly brighter star. Following it led to another star, then a third. A small handle began to form, you continued moving your gaze knowing exactly what you were looking for. The four final stars came into view forming an almost box-like shape. Your eyes focused on the two stars that made up the far edge of the box before tracing out a line to the left. Your eyes finally locking on a larger much brighter star.
“The North Star."
You kept your eyes on the single bright star.
"So I'm in Midgard."
You felt a tiny flicker of hope build inside you. You knew where you were, you could find your way to a village, and from there you could find your way to Loki. As if on cue a fresh wave of pain radiated from your leg. You were suddenly reminded of your grim situation. The spark of hope in your chest began to dwindle. But you refused to let it die. It's just a broken leg you've fixed one before. All you have to do is reset it and you'll be fine. You tried to will yourself to move but remained on your back, eyes on the stars. It's just a broken leg. You remained still. You've dealt with worse. The only movement came from the somewhat laboured rise and fall of your chest. You're really going to let a broken leg keep you from Loki. That last thought finally did it, in one motion you had risen to a sitting position, your left leg lying in front of you. The pain began to worsen but you pushed it down. I will not be taken down by you. You knew what you had to do, you had done it to a guard in the dungeon before. But you didn't have the option to knock yourself out to avoid the intense pain you knew was coming. You slowly and carefully repositioned your leg, so that the broken parts of bone lined up together, like two puzzle pieces. One quick motion and it's over. You positioned your hands on either side of the broken bone. One quick push and you could start your search. You took a deep breath moving your hands against the bone. The soft-touch already sending waves of pain up your leg. You quickly pulled one hand back, grabbing the edge of your cloak and shoving it into your mouth. Just one crack and you could find Loki. You took a sharp inhale through your nose and then quickly pushed down with all your might. The pain you felt was the worse you could remember. Screams instantly built in your throat but were blocked by the fabric in your mouth. You continued to apply as much pressure as possible to your leg but your vision began to blur. New stars entered your vision as the world began to fade away. You heard a slight pop, then the world went dark.