Goldrush

The sky was a bright blanket of blue, standing in stark contrast to the deeper blue ocean beneath. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. Lucy swallowed hard as she stared out the port hole window. She could feel a sweat rising on her body. Not the kind of sweat she enjoys breaking while working out, but a suffocating type of warmth that stems from her brain and not her body. She imagines the ocean as her local swimming pool. Substituting the fearful with the familiar. It’s just water, she repeats in her mind. Her fear manifesting through her fists which subconsciously clench firmly, her nails digging into her sticky skin.

Kate has gone out early with her squadron to help set up. Lucy glances at her watch, she should be back to collect her any minute. She paces anxiously along the narrow corridor. Stamping her boots as she walks, missing the freedom of land she used to walk on. Freedom feels different at sea. It’s not going outside, it’s not going for a long drive, it’s Kate. Lucy never thought freedom could come in the form of a person. That was the sort of thing that made her cringe before meeting Kate. But if it takes being trapped on this boat to learn the real feeling of freedom, it will all be worth it.

“Lucy!”. Kate calls out from down the corridor. Lucy glances up to see the blonde walking towards her, waving excitedly. Kate’s smile sending her fears to the back of her mind momentarily. “Hi!”. Lucy responds as the blonde gets closer now, wearing her navy branded shorts and t-shirt. Kate’s face is glowing, her hair falling in waves over her shoulders. The blonde can’t hide her excitement for Lucy’s swim call outfit. A pair of tight black jeans and a an even tighter vest top. She stops and stares. “Wow, Lucy”. Her eye’s running over the agent’s body from top to bottom, getting slightly distracted by the muscles in Lucy’s arms flexing as she crosses them. “Are you done staring?”. Lucy teases, she won’t lie, she knew the effect this top would have on Kate and has been saving it for a special occasion.

“No, I could stare at you all day, but I can also think of other things to do to you all day”. Lucy’s cheeks flush a crimson red. “Whistler!” She raises a brow in shock, taking a step forward. The blonde’s half smile taunting her. Lucy leans onto her tippy toes to reach the blonde’s lips. Her own smile finding Kate’s. Lucy knows this is a distraction method from the impending nightmare of facing up to the ocean. It only makes her fall harder for the blonde however.

As she rolls back onto her heels, Kate’s eyes never leave her own. As if the blonde was locked onto her target. “Are you ready to go?”. She asks with a reserved tone to her voice. Lucy swallows hard once again as she just nods in response. Kate reaches out and takes Lucy’s hand into her own, leading her towards the exit door. Lucy’s palm is sweaty and her grip is tight as Kate leads the way.

Approaching the door, Kate stops. She turns and looks down to Lucy. “Are you sure, you’re ok with this?”. Kate takes both of the nervous agent’s hands into her own now. Lucy watches Kate as she soothes the palm of her hands with her thumbs. Lucy could happily stay here all day. As she looks up she is met with kind, brown eyes. “Let’s do this”. She affirms.

Kate smiles so wide, the corners of her lips turning upwards, forming adorable dimples. She opens the door and takes a step out, still gripping Lucy with her free hand. Lucy could feel her legs turn jelly-like. She hasn’t felt this way since her first swimming lesson. It was one of the toughest things she ever did. But it turned out to be one of the most rewarding moments of her life, and she wants this to be the same. This time however, she’s not alone. She relishes Kate’s soft skin touching her own. Still feeling that electricity in her veins that hasn’t left since she first shook the blonde’s hand.

The air is thick, she’s not sure whether it’s the humidity or her anxiety. Her eyes scan the width of the flight deck. She can’t yet see the ocean. She can smell the jet fuel, a stench that sticks to Kate’s clothing after a flight. The smell itself isn’t awful, after all it reminds her of Kate. Kate who still holds her as tight as ever. Still watches her now, as Lucy’s eyes dart across the aircraft and helicopters lined up.

Kate can’t imagine how Lucy’s feeling. The flight deck is her home, and has been since she was young. Working her ways through the ranks of the navy to get to the rank of Lieutenant. She watches with silent pride as Lucy’s eyes land on a familiar sight. Kate’s jet. Her name and callsign printed in bold lettering on the side. “Wow..”. Lucy is lost for words. She won’t lie, from the control tower, the jet looked a lot smaller. However standing next to it now, Lucy’s eyes scan the height it reaches, the wings towering above her head.

“Not what you expected?”. Kate questions a still dazed looking Lucy. “You fly that?”. Kate laughs at Lucy’s honesty. “Maybe someday I’ll give you a go”. Lucy turns to her in bewilderment. “Oh no, I don’t do flying, at least not in a fighter jet”. The blonde smirks. “On the ground then?”. Kate wraps her arms around Lucy from behind. “You can play pretend”. She whispers into Lucy’s ear as she raises her brows suggestively. “I’d love that Kate”. Lucy turns and kisses her. It takes Kate somewhat by surprise. Mixing work and relationships is very new to the blonde.

They stand under the wing for a moment. There’s a sudden heaviness between them. Their worlds are muted out. Despite the ship being home to over five thousand sailors, in this moment it feels like it’s only them. Kate breaks the sudden uneasy silence. “Can I call you my girlfriend?”. Lucy’s face melts in adoration. “I was gonna ask you the same!”. Kate tilts her head, confusion in her expression. “Then why didn’t you?”. Lucy looks away for a second. “I wasn’t sure you’d say yes”. Kate reaches for Lucy’s hands once more. “Lucy, I-,”. She hesitates momentarily. Her heart wants to say something else, but ultimately decides against it. “I will always say yes to you”. Lucy smiles so wide the creases by her eyes make the blonde blush.

“Let’s go meet the others”. Kate says, still holding Lucy, she leads them around the corner. On the far side of the deck Lucy can see people gathered. Meeting Kate’s squadron is the least of her worries. She’s always been a people person and could talk for hours. However, beyond the crowd an endless deep blue nightmare creeps into view. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest. The shock must have ran across her entire body, as Kate suddenly turns to check on her.

Kate glances down, her dark eyes radiating an unrivalled comfort. “I’ve got you”. She speaks calmly, slowing Lucy’s heavy, beating heart. Kate’s words echo in her head. Kate is the first person to make her feel like loving someone is easy. The blonde expects nothing from Lucy, and yet gives so much. She allows Lucy to take her time, and embraces her imperfections. Lucy can’t help but feel overwhelmed with emotion as they approach the crowd with Kate’s hand in hers. A safety-net she never knew she needed.

“Hey everyone, this is my girlfriend, Lucy Tara!”. Hearing her own name in the same sentence as girlfriend sends butterflies floating through Lucy’s stomach. The words roll effortlessly off the blonde’s tongue.

Pride swells within Kate’s chest as Lucy greets her squadron. This situation is so foreign to the blonde, but with Lucy it feels effortless. She couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone else. Lucy has opened her up again, after many dark, isolated years of living in fear. Living with a grief so pertinent that it seemed to have interlaced itself into her very DNA. But now it’s slowly breaking down, replaced by new-found joy provided by the woman she can’t take her eyes off.

She watches as Lucy shakes hands and accepts offers of a beer and a hot dog from the barbecue. The blonde follows behind, not wanting to stray too far from the agent, who seems to have forgotten she’s standing close to the edge now. The talk of Hawai’i and fighting crime with the sailors distract her from the fear harboured within.

———

“Let’s get this party started!”. One of the sailors exclaims before catapulting himself over the edge. Lucy almost screams as she hears the crash of water beneath. Kate holds her shoulders in response. Leaning down, she whispers into Lucy’s ear. “Time for the real reason you came”. Lucy feels her body tense in response to the blonde’s flirtatious teasing. She can handle the panic in private, but standing on the edge of the deck, she doesn’t know how to react. She turns to Kate, who has rapidly pulled her shorts and t-shirt off to reveal her bikini beneath.

Lucy’s jaw can’t help but drop, as her excitement builds at the sight before her. The blonde’s light blue bikini showing her body off in all the right ways. A sight Lucy will never tire of seeing. Kate winks at her before stepping forward to place a quick kiss on Lucy’s lips. Lucy wants to wrap her arms around her and take her back to their cabin there and then. Holding back from Kate in public is proving harder than she imagined.

“I can’t watch you go over the edge”. Lucy’s still trying not to squirm every time she hears the splash of another body hitting the water. “Ok, but please watch me baywatch it back over the edge afterwards?”. Lucy feels tingly at the thought alone. “I think I can manage that”. She reaches up for one last kiss, this time letting her hands explore the blonde’s exposed skin. Kate pushing against Lucy’s lips, enticing her with the promise of more.

Kate gushes before turning to dive. She leaps over the edge, soaring through the thick air, before crashing into the warm water below. As she raises her head out of the ocean she’s met with an incredible view. Nothing but shades of blue sky and water in her vision. She looks around, feeling somewhat guilty that she gets to experience a sight and feeling so magical that Lucy can’t. She wants to put on a show for Lucy to make up for it however. As she makes her way back up onto the deck she locks onto Lucy’s eyes like a magnet. Climbing over the edge, the salt water dripping from every inch of her body. As she stands, her abs unravel.

Lucy’s enamoured by the vision before her, blurring out her periphery. Kate walks towards her, shaking her head, while her wet hair falls back off her face. A cheeky grin hasn’t left her face this entire time. She enjoys watching Lucy’s arousal, and she knows it’s helping relieve the stress the agent feels standing so close to the ocean now. The agent practically leaps into Kate’s arms to close the last distance between them. Lucy’s lips meet the salty taste of Kate’s as she leans in harder. Her hands wrapping around the blonde’s neck, sinking herself into her strong arms.

With fears forgotten, and futures to write, they both stare brazenly as they break away from the kiss. “Wet Whistler might just be the solution to my aqua-phobia”. Kate laughs as she squeezes the small agent she still holds firmly in her arms. “I’m glad to be of service”. She jokes before placing Lucy back down on the deck. “I need a drink”. Kate says before taking Lucy’s hand and heading towards the makeshift bar.

———

Lucy sits on a picnic chair, surrounded by new friends and lots of food. The evening drawing to a close. She can’t help but think how pretty the sky looks, as the sun sets in the distance. The vast ocean lying between, a reminder of how surreal this moment feels. Kate arrives back to collect her. The blonde had slipped off back to the cabin to grab some things. Not before asking Lucy at least ten times if she would alright until she returned.

Whistler reaches down and wraps her free arm around Lucy. The agent notices a beach type bag in her other hand. “Come with me?”. Kate stands upright again and reaches a hand out to Lucy. She doesn’t have to ask twice. Lucy jumps up and places her hand in Kate’s. They both say their goodbyes and walk towards the back of the ship. Both women wearing smiles on their faces. Lucy isn’t sure what Kate has in mind but also doesn't want to ask and spoil the surprise.

They turn a corner and suddenly Lucy realises how quiet it is at this end of the ship at night. The sun slips beneath the horizon, leaving only a few far off spot lights and the moon to highlight the glow of their faces. The air is still warm but the evening breeze and lack of sunlight make Lucy begin to shiver slightly.

“I brought this if you want it”. Kate reaches into her bag and pulls out Lucy’s NCIS hoodie. Lucy’s heart sinks at the blonde’s ever thoughtful actions. “Thank you”. Lucy throws the hoodie over the head, pulling her curly hair out from under the hood. The hoodie looks more like a blanket on her, despite it being the smallest size they offer. Kate can’t help but giggle as the agent fixes the hoodie into place. “Don’t get lost in there”. She jokes before throwing her own green striped hoodie over her head.

Kate reaches into the bag once more and produces a blanket. She lays it on the ground and gestures for Lucy to sit next to her. “I thought we could do some stargazing”. Lucy sits down next to the blonde, shuffling closer as Kate finds her hands for comfort. “That sounds perfect”. Lucy turns to Kate, she can’t help but notice the stars twinkling in the blonde’s dark eyes. Even in the near darkness of a moonlit ocean, she can feel the blonde’s adoration pouring through the night.

“I’m so glad you’re here”. Kate says. She doesn’t just mean in her arms, on the deck under the stars. She means in her life, in her heart. Lucy squeezes Kate’s hands in response. “I’m glad I’m here too”. She leans over and places a light kiss to Kate’s cheek before resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder.

They sit and gaze into the night sky. Lucy’s mind wanders through the stars, millions of miles away. In this moment it feels as though the universe was made to only be seen by her and Kate. As if both their lucky stars aligned and lead them exactly to this moment. She slightly winces at the thought of how Ernie would react to this new in-love Lucy. A side to her even her best friend hasn’t seen and a side he’d love to tease her for.

Kate’s not sure how long they’ve been sitting here now. The warm of Lucy’s touch on her shoulder brings more peace to her than she could ever have imagined. “Lucy, I need to confess something”. Lucy sits up and meets Kate’s twinkling eyes. “That night, in the bunk, when I played Kiss Me…”. Lucy nods, not entirely sure where Kate is going with this confession. “I said it was the first song Noah taught me…which isn’t entirely true”. The agent rubs Kate’s hands, her eyes never looking away. Kate gathers her thoughts before continuing. “Noah did teach me it, but that was after I came out to him”.

Kate feels a lump forming in the back of her throat .She swallows hard to keep going. “He was the first person I told. I had just started at the naval academy. He taught me Kiss Me that night because he said it would get me all the ladies”. Lucy smiles, and rubs her thumb over Kate’s cheek to catch a stray tear. “Well I’d say it worked”. Lucy lightens the moment with her bubbly humour.

Sensing Kate has more to say, she just studies the blonde with unwavering attention. “He taught me a lot of things. When I lost him I buried myself in my work, not wanting to let his legacy be in vain”. Lucy can’t begin to imagine the pain Kate has lived through. “Kate, he would be so proud of you”. The blondes lips quiver as she breaks a gentle smile. “I wish you could’ve met him”. Kate can barely get the words out. The thought of Lucy and Noah in the same room makes her heart ache. She breaks from Lucy’s gaze and looks to the stars. She doesn’t believe in god, or in miracles, but she can’t help but think that somewhere out there Noah is watching her, cheering her on.

Still staring into the darkness she feels Lucy’s arms reach around her body. She doesn't say a word. She just holds Kate tightly. Lucy would do anything to make Kate’s broken heart heal but she knows grief truly never leaves a person. The two sit in silence once again. Both finding comfort in it. The ocean ripples beneath the ships hull and sends a soft splash along the length of the deck.

“So, what did he teach you first?. Lucy leans back and Kate brings her eyes down to earth once more. “Something by the Foo Fighters I think”. Kate’s laugh as she says it makes Lucy smile effortlessly. “He was a bit of a rock star”. Kate confesses. Lucy holds her tight, staring into brown eyes that hold so much hurt but so much love for the soul she lost. Kate leans forward, Lucy meets her halfway. They make out under the stars. Stars that have aligned to find them here.

“I never want to stop having these conversation with you”. Lucy confesses. Kate’s smile lowers. They’ve never breached the topic of what happens when their time onboard the ship comes to an end. Being over halfway through their four months together sent a shooting pain to the very pit of Kate’s stomach. “Lucy, I-”. Lucy clenches jaw, sensing a different pain in the blonde’s voice now. “I have to go where I’m sent, until I can follow in my father’s footsteps and become an instructor”. Lucy’s eyes widen at the mention of Kate’s father. She doesn’t speak much about her parents and Lucy can only imagine why.

“Instructor as in teaching people?”. Lucy asks, with little to no knowledge on naval pilot operations she wants to make sure before jumping to conclusions. “Yeah, my father instructed for years back in Washington where I grew up”. Kate explains. “It’s the best of both worlds really, getting to settle somewhere permanently and still fly these amazing jets”. Lucy wants to ask if Hawai’i is ever an option for Kate to pursue that dream, but the possible pain of hearing Kate say no is too much for the agent to accept right now.

Instead she just hides behind a smile. A smile she performs to please the blonde who’s heart also aches at the thought of losing sight of the dark eye’s she has grown to call home. The two sit in silence once again, this time neither break it.