Jealousy was a fickle thing. Sometimes, it crawled under your skin, made steam poor out of your ears and left you to seethe silently in a corner. Sometimes, it make you clench your fists so tight whatever you’re holding just- explodes. Many things could turn you into a green-eyed monster. Even the dumbest of things could make any normal person scowl and look away. Even a complete stranger.
However, Harley wasn’t jealous of someone he’d never met. He definitely wasn’t. He didn’t scowl whenever that boy and his ridiculously attractive friend came in for coffee. He didn’t frown when that boy lay his head on his friend’s shoulder, which caused the latter to look down at him, tousled brown curls falling messily over his eyes, and shoot the boy a soft smile.
He later found out, while taking their order, the boy’s name was Ned and his attractive friend was named Peter.
Not that he cared, or anything. He just thought Peter sounded lovelier when it was said with a slight southern twang.
All in all, Harley Keener was not jealous of Ned. He did not care that he got to say Peter’s name, and rest his head against Peter’s shoulder, and whisper something extraordinarily funny in Peter’s ear. He was just their barista, he had no right to be jealous of anyone, especially his customers. Not even the ones he was acquainted with.
Which was a mistake, by the way. Getting acquainted with Peter Parker, that is, because he found out the other boy was a genius and nerdy and dorky and completely adorable which only made Harley fall harder more attracted to him.
Peter and Ned seemed to be rather fond of the pumpkin cake pops, which did not bode well for Harley. He was just trying to work and Parker had the nerve to look entrancing as his pretty lips licked the icing off the cake pop, which-
-woah. Ok, brain. Not going there.
‘’A large iced coffee, no coffee no sugar for Peter?’’ called Harley. Today, Peter was the only one sitting in the booth, which was surprising because he always came in here with his boyfriend. He had to call his name twice because his head was buried in his phone, where he was probably texting Ned. So, all in all, everything was more or less normal.
Except for the fact that Peter looked uncharacteristically nervous when he walked up to get his coffee. Marching up to Harley, he grabbed his coffee and started walking back to his table before he stopped abruptly and turned around.
''Hey, uh, Harley?'' stuttered Peter, tugging at his beanie nervously, making curls fall in front of his eyes. The action was strangely endearing.
''Yeah?''
''What do you say we, uhm, y'know, only if you want to, uh...'' rambled Peter, ''maybe... went out? Sometime?''
Harley's eyes darkened. Of course, of course Peter Parker was too good to be true. He knew no one could be that perfect. Of course on the day his loving, doting boyfriend isn't here, he decides to pull a cheating scumbag move and flirt with the barista.
The look Peter was giving Harley made him, for a fleeting second, consider the option, before he scowled at himself in disgust. He knew how awful it felt to be wronged, and no matter how pretty Peter was, no one deserved to feel like that.
Harley turned back to Peter and scowled. ''Sorry, Parker, but I won't be free anytime soon. I tend to hang around people with self respect.''
Peter shrinked back as if he'd been stung. Harley felt guilty for a split second, before he remembered what the other boy was trying to do.
''Right. Of course. I- what? I mean, alright. Ok. Sorry. I- sorry. Thanks for the, uh, coffee.'' stammered Peter, as he grabbed his coffee and walked away hastily, throwing an awkward wave as he stepped out of the shop. Harley watched his retreating figure with contempt, before turning to the next customer in line.
''Hello ma'am, what can I get you?''
It had been a while since Harley hadn't seen Peter or Ned. In fact, he hadn't seen or heard them ever since Peter tried to hit on Harley. The barista couldn't decide wether that angered him or saddened him more. Peter probably didn't want Harley to blab to his boyfriend about the former's failed attempt at getting with someone that wasn't his boyfriend.
Which is why it was a surprise when Ned walked into the coffee shop, alone, and sat down where he and Peter always used to sit. When Ned came up to the register to order, Harley couldn't help but ask.
''Where's Peter?''
''Oh, Peter? He's got detention.'' answered Ned easily. ''I mean, I probably wouldn't be here is he was with me. For some reason, he's been completely avoiding this place since a few weeks ago-'' Harley scoffed at this, which seemed to go unnoticed by Ned as he continued his rambling. ''-which is weird because we both think the coffee here slaps. And the pumpkin cake pops? Man, they're so great. Literally gave me a heart attack the first time I had one. But anyways, Peter tried spelling 'I am your Father' in the mixture with this weird green liquid in chemistry today and ended up blowing up the desk. Honestly, he's such a dumbass. If I had a dollar every time someone told me 'Damn, Ned, your best friend really is stupid for genius', I'd honestly-''
Wait, what?
Harley tuned out the rest of whatever Ned was going on about. His brain kept on repeating the two words Ned let slip carelessly, as if he didn't know they would plunge Harley into dread and regret.
''Sorry, Ned, can you repeat that part you said before?'' asked Harley, cutting Ned off, already dreading the answer.
''What, the part where I said that fanta is disgusting? Because it is and if you don't think that then-''
''No, Ned, the other part, where you said Peter was your best friend?''
Ned shot him a weird look. ''Yeah, what about it?''
''So you two aren't... dating?'' questioned Harley, almost pleadingly.
''What!?'' exclaimed Ned. ''No! Ew, he's like a brother! Why would you even- no!''
Harley put his head in his hands, and let out a long suffering groan.
Once Ned had stopped laughing, he agreed to give Harley Peter's phone number. Harley felt awful. He had said such a shitty thing to Peter, and now he needed to apologise, because the only thing Harley Keener hates more than disloyalty is injustice. As soon as Harley finished his shift, he rushed outside and called the number Ned gave him.
After three long rings, Peter picked up. ''Uhh, hi? Hello?''
''Peter?'' tried Harley lamely.
''Yeah, this is he. Who is this?'' replied Peter with his annoyingly cute voice.
''Uh, it's Harley. From the coffee shop.''
''Oh.'' answered Peter. His voice seemed to drop the light chipperness it held before. Harley winced at the dismissive tone. ''Right. How did you get my phone number?''
''Uhm, Ned gave it to me.''
Awkward silence.
''Right. And why are you calling me?''
Harley took a deep breath and started apologise. ''Listen. I'm really sorry for talking to you the way I did the other day. I completely misunderstood the situation, and you didn't deserve what I told you. I- ah, funny story, actually, I thought you and Ned were dating-''
''What!?'' exclaimed Peter, cutting Harley off. ''No! Ew, he's like a brother! Why would you even- no!''
Harley opened his mouth, before closing it again in stunned silence.
''I- I'm pretty sure that's, like, exactly what he said. Word by word.''
A moment of silence passed. And then another.
''Pfft''
Before they knew what was happening, both boys were giggling uncontrollably. When the giggling came to a stop, Harley mustered up the courage to ask Peter what he really wanted to ask.
''So, uh, I'd understand if you said no, since I've been so rude to you, and all, but would you like to-''
''Yes.'' came Peter's rushed reply.
Harley raised an eyebrow in amusement. ''Yes, what?'' He could practically hear Peter blushing through the phone.
''...yeah''
''Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Mind repeating yourself?''
Because, yes, Harley Keener is a cheeky bastard.
''I hope you know I'm rolling my eyes right now. Yes, I'd like to go out with you''
Harley smiled softly. He could imagine Peter beaming.
''Alright. Cool. Awesome. I'll test you the details tomorrow, princess?''
Peter spluttered nervously before answering shyly. ''Yeah, I'd love that''
''Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Talk to you tomorrow then, darlin'?'' asked Harley.
''Yeah. Of course. Totally.'' replied Peter.
''Alright. Bye.''
''Bye''
''Bye''
As the call disconnected, Harley stayed frozen in place staring dazedly at the streetlight with a goofy smile on his face. God, Harley thought, my father's ghost is probably rolling in his grave right now.
But it didn't matter anymore. He didn't care. Harley started walking towards the subway station while humming absentmindedly.
He hadn't even noticed he renamed Peter to 'princess <3' on his phone before he took it out in his apartment to reminisce their call, like the lovesick teenager he was.