shelter order

SM: yo did y’all hear what happened to Cap?

S2: Christ. Yeah

S3: they can’t do that.

S4: I asked him if he’s okay

SM: thank you for doing that but he’s just gonna lie to you. It’s his thing, believe it or not.

S4: oh I know. That’s why I take whatever answer he gives me and then flip it upside down.

S2: man

BT: Husband says that this is 100% illegal.

SM: yeah fucking talk about it. It’s against pretty much every ethic in the whole code of em in science things. I can only imagine the social science part of it.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): yo did y’all hear

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oh

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): so it seems you have

SM: this is really frustrating. If people can ask Cap to be their test subject, then they’re gonna need more folks to be a control group and we all know how that turns out

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): they’ve already emailed meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

S2: wait spidey I don’t understand. Explain pls

S3: has this happened before??

SM: basically any time some chemical/bio weapon gets out, the gov tries to argue that trying out vaccines and treatments on enhanced folks is the safest way to protect the public

SM: you know

SM: because we enhanced folks are just mutants and we’ll just heal anyways

S2: but I’ve had Rona. And you’ve had Rona. And it took you out for days?

SM: 😊 we 😊 just 😊 heal 😊 anyways 😊 remember? 😊

SM: don’t worry we’re mutated we don’t feel pain 😊

SM: as long as it’s for the public good, we can violate the human rights 😊

SM: we’re not people after all 😊😊😊😊😊😊

DD: Has anyone checked on Cap and Barnes

S4: yes

DD: tell them they have rights not to participate in this study. Must be consensual.

S4: JB is okay there—something about being disqualified due to his medical conditions? but the army is arguing Cap’s body is govt property

DD: hm

SM: bullshit

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): He has the option of going out and just getting the Rona I guess?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): not that it’s helped me. My phone’s ringing off the hook. Now they want my plasma or smth

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I’m THIS close to referring them to my psych doc

DD: do that

DD: you may not qualify for the study standards based on past experience.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): you mean from the time I put my head through a windshield?

DD: …

DD: yes wade. Like that time.

SM: that’s fucking dumb tho. Like, if they ask me, I can’t send them to my therapist without outing myself

DD: the good thing is that they don’t have your name to start with, spiderkid.

SM: No, but it could just be a matter of time. God knows who SHIELD’s allegiance is to.

S2: this is scary

S3: people won’t go forward with this. They’re just scared and restless. We’ve been inside for weeks now. And it doesn’t actually make sense to do any treatments on Cap. Chances are, from the way our state is, he’s probably already had the Rona and just didn’t know about it because of his healing factor.

S2: yeah, but then Falco-Cap would have gotten it, wouldn’t he?

S3: Maybe. no telling if he would have gotten it from Cap or anyone else, though. No even telling if he’s gotten it. We’re all kinda in a void of no and mis-information.

S4: Still, the gov doesn’t own Cap. He’s a person. He shouldn’t be bullied into giving his body to science. He’s already done it once.

SM: true that

S3: yeah

S2: if they try to contact any of us they’re gonna be disappointed as hell.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): what do you mean ‘if?’

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Jenn Lowel, PhD,  if you’re reading this, my doc just sent me an email back with ‘LOL’ in the subject line. She’s never laughed at a single one of my jokes, Lowel. This is how serious the situation is right now.

SM: wade why did you pick a psychiatrist who doesn’t think you’re funny?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): she picked me, Webs

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): she told everyone else who tried to stop her not to worry, she could handle me.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I’d die for her right here. Hey, Brit? I’d die for you. right. Here. Love you, you stone cold goddess ❤

S2: you…like? That your psychiatrist has no emotion?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): fuckin love it.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): she’s one of my soulmates I think

SM: but you hate your therapist

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): which one

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oh Rose. Yeah no. Rose, I wouldn’t piss you out if you were on fire. Meet me in hell babe

SM: I

DD: same.

SM: wh

SM: you both? Told me? To get? Therapy????

DD: did it help?

SM: fucking YEAH IT HELPED

S2: Spidey does calming techniques in the middle of throwdowns sometimes

SM: I have so much trauma man

S2: from what

SM: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh well should we start with the plane that nearly crashed on me when I was 15 or

S3: WaIT I FORGOT

S3: oh my god

SM: And then the building that fell on me before that

SM: the murder of a close relative before that. And after all that, the getting dragged into space thing, the time I nearly bled out in a gutter, the car accident, the six times someone’s tried to drown me, the time Wilson Fisk literally tried to break my skull in half, the time the Lizard trapped me in the sewer for two day—need I go on??

S2: damn

S3: Uh no. I think we get it

SM: the only reason I am here at the moment is because of my therapist and like, so what if she wants my notes and brain for research after I die? She can have them. We’ve already had this discussion. She makes me functional for the now, and I make her career in like 20 years or however long it takes for me to get my ass killed.

S4: …is this what therapy is like?

S3: no

S2: idk probably

S2: equivalent exchange or something

S3: no

D2: oh I’ve had grief counseling.

S3: oh thank god

D2: yeah after my nana passed I couldn’t decide if I needed to keep on hating her and breaking my knuckles about it

S3: …nevermind. DD. Help. Be reasonable.

DD: therapy saved my life and marriage, kids, I don’t know what to tell you

S3: oh thank god

DD: doesn’t mean I wouldn’t choke my gal out if she finally turned her back in session, but you know. It’s been a couple years now. I think I’m warming up to her.

S3: OH MY GOD

S3: You’re all violent fuckheads!! These people are trying to help you!! They risk their lives trying to help you!! Have some respect!!

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): She intimidates me so I must kill her.

SM: I have never respected anyone not related to me more

DD: she is exceedingly wise and unerringly cunning. To attain such abilities is but a dream.

S2: oh wow. Love declarations all around

S3: I need a nap

BT: lol what’s therapy???

S3: I’m going to sleep.

S4: Cap you can say the words here

CA: hng

JB: cannot but nice thinking, hon

S4: why not?

JB: publicist watches

S4: they can’t watch it’s a private chat

CA: there will be consequences

S4: ?

JB: They will dye their hair even more turquoise and will ring the doorbell once every ten seconds for an hour.

S4: I don’t understand.

JB: Emotional abuse.

S4: how?

CA: thank you, bitsy but I cannot. I will die at the hand of our friendly, local sea-glass monster

S4: sea? Glass?

JB: hair dye color

S4: why are you so afraid of someone with dyed hair? Haven’t you dyed your hair before??

JB: Have you ever seen victory curls, bub?

S4: no?

JB: go look them up.

S4: okay?

S4: oh they’re fancy

CA: deadly.

JB: our publicist’s curls have never been less than perfect and that is a power that no one in this household is going to fuck with.

CA: no speaking

JB: none

S4: yeah but the gov is trying to sell your body to a drug manufacturer. Surely that’s much scarier than a sea-glass person.

CA: Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

JB: keep it in, doll, you can do it

S2: heyo

S2: oh hey cap

S2: guess who didn’t die from the Rona?

S2: this bitch

S2: we’re pretty much on equal footing now, man. Except I’m still an essential worker after all this bullshit.

CA: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhng.

JB: Stevie baby let’s go lift something intolerably heavy to take your mind off things

S2: lol bro-chat-up lines.

S2: adorable

S2: anyways, I just got a note from my manager asking if I’ve been cleared to work yet. I’m p sure this is class warfare, y’all.

CA: IT.

CA: IS.

JB: welp

CA: TALK ABOUT. CLASS. WARFARE.

S4: you should. It seems to be bothering you.

S2: idk cap you are the rich, so I’m gonna have to start with you. Sorry, but off with your head?

CA: take it

JB: okay. We need distraction. Thank you, Bitsy-child, for your support in these trying times.

CA: Take

CA: it

S2: You want me to hide it from the govt or?

CA: I want to sell you the legal rights to this body

JB: You know what? I think this is a Sam situation. My efforts aren’t working. Let me just

CA: If I just become private property I’ll have more rights

SM: oh hey cap

SM: oh wait

SM: No, you already are private property, man. You don’t need to sell yourself, you just need a lawyer

CA: I HAVENT BEEN PRIVATE PROPERTY SINCE 1942

SM: …

SM: I’m sensing some built up tension here, pal. You want to get it out? This is a safe space. We will not judge you.

CA: lies

CA: its all lies

CA: I should have died in the ocean.

JB: this is Sam. Hi, thank you all. We are taking the existential crisis into the sun for a minute or so to regain worldly perspective. Once it’s done you can have it back.

CA: I’ve been an ‘it’ for 3x as long as I’ve been a person

JB: and we’re moving.

S2: woof. Bye cap. Talk to you in a bit when you’re feeling better.

SM: byeeee

S4: ☹ I’m worried

S3: um? Same?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): wait Steve come back if you’re an ‘it’ and I’m an ‘it’ then our children will be spared the ordeal of being human

S2: your children will just be cats, wade

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): SHUT UP SHUT UP

SM: mmmmm nice. It’s gonna be that kind of day then. Alright, well. I’m going to go bask on the fire escape I’ll talk to y’all in a bit.

S2: cold blooded

SM: and proud of it

CA: I’ve been told by the publicist to apologize and state that human and organ trafficking is inhumane and illegal and I do not in any way condone it, even in times of high stress and emotion.

S2: holy shit

S3: damn, your sea-glass lady is good.

CA: *person.

S3: oop. Sorry sorry. Sea-glass person.

CA: I have decided instead that I am going to go back to my ancestral home, the atlantic ocean, and become a sea monster. This is my new goal in life.

JB: wokay we don’t need to be texting people right now, babes.

CA: if I’m a sea monster I can just eat the navy and no one can stop me

JB: I mean

JB: you’re not wrong

JB: but you had a breakdown over the last loch we encountered and refused to get near the water, so I’m not 100% sure how this plan is gonna go for you.

CA: I need you. To stop. Putting holes. In my goddamn dreams, James Buchanan Barnes. I’m not talking to you.

S2: oh shit. Full-named.

S3: a threat.

S4: does this mean that you’re feeling better, Cap?

CA: yes

JB: no

CA: what, do you make decisions for me now, too??? Do you own my emotions, James Buchanan??

JB: exhibit A: testy. Paranoid.

JB: in need of whiskey

CA: HA

JB: I know, champ. It’s gonna be okay

SM: Idk Cap, it takes about a bottle but even I can get pretty wasted

CA: Abraham Erskine, you bastard, how could you do this to me you didn’t even let me have a drink on my last day of humanity

JB: I thought you loved him

CA: I do and I will ruin every nazi on this planet in his name and honor but I DESERVED A LAST DRINK, ABE

JB: you know who can fix this?

CA: God

JB: uh close

DD: Def God

JB: where did you come from? No. Not god.

DD: Jesus

CA: this guy understands me

JB: uuuuh no and no. That’s still god.

DD: oh I see. A saint.

JB: what

CA: a saint?

CA: which saint?

JB: not a saint steven. why would I suggest that a saint can fix this?

CA: because I need a miracle?

JB: …okay no you listen

JB: there can only be one dramatic piece of shit in this household at a time

JB: And I respect that the circumstances lean in your favor at the moment

JB: but a saint ain’t helped us in war and a saint aint gonna help us in plague, yeah?

CA: you don’t know that. How about Mary?

JB: for fucks sake. Daredevil what have you done?

DD: Michael or Lucy in my opinion

CA: no no I need Patrick, Peter, or Mary

JB: THOR you blockhead. THOR.

CA: he aint a saint I watched him give bruce a lapdance last Christmas

DD: on Jesus’s birthday? Unbelievable.

SM: Red.

DD: do as I say, not as I do.

JB: can the fellow catholic over there please pipe down? I’m sayin, Steven, heart of mine, that Thor can, will, has, and is always prepared to get you fucking hammered on his alien vodka.

CA: oh right

CA: this is an excellent idea. if I’m not conscious I can’t suffer

JB: nevermind you’re hopeless. I’m taking you back to the Alps and leaving you there

CA: Maybe I should become a monk

DD: I’m gunning for hermit monk. Big plans for a hovel.

CA: There has never been a better idea.

JB: Spidey, get your devil under control. I’m trying to do damage control here

SM: idk man he just does that. I don’t got his leash or treats or nothing for him right now

JB: Red, where is your man?

DD: wouldn’t you like to know

JB: yeah I would actually

DD: on the phone

JB: oh sure he is. Everyone is always on the phone. Sam’s on the phone. Your husband’s on the phone. The damn publicist is on the phone.

DD: pardon. Just one second I need the apprentice for an emoji.

BT: 🙃

DD: thank you

JB: …what does that mean?

BT: 🙃🙂🙃🙂💕💋

JB: I

JB: WAIT

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Wolfboy finally got it

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): after all these years

JB: I

JB: excuse me

CA: ?

CA: Oh

CA: OH

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): and the star spangled man brings it on home too

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): welcome to the Know, friends. How’s it feel?

CA: DD.

DD: yes?

CA: there’s no fucking way

DD: not sure what you’re talking about, fellow Catholic citizen.

CA: I

DD: yes?

CA: okay you know what? You’ve got real problems.

DD: yes. Diagnosed even.

CA: I take it all back.

DD: as you should.

CA: I am grateful for what I do have. You’re very right.

DD: anytime. I am here to serve

BT: 😊 same

CA: hm.

BT: 😊

CA: I think. I’m going to go talk to Thor.

BT: 👋

DD: bye

S2: what just happened?

SM: Cap and JB just finally realized who DD is after, oh, say, 15 years.

S2: holy shit. Based on what?

DD: evidence.

BT: they’re fucked up, teach

DD: our job is done here. Come young one. We now have gaslighting to do.

BT: oh shit oh shit oh shit

BT: here we go. New skills. Bye y’all hope you’re having a good day

JB: THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY. DAREDEVIL, GET BACK HERE

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): he’s gone, boo-boo. You’re never getting an answer out of him now and you know exactly why

JB: Answers come at the edge of a knife or a gun, Wilson, you know this. Red is not immune.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): where is your blue-eyed, blond accomplice, huh?

JB: …

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): l’il tipsy, hm?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): having a bit of a giggle, hm?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): aw, were you trying to get sleuthing done, Barnes? Did you lose your right-hand man, Barnes? Aw, poor baby.

JB: listen, you

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): 👂

JB: fuck off with that.

JB: Listen, I don’t believe this shit for one second and it’s an absolute scandal what DD’s done to this poor fuckin’ guy.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): …sorry what?

JB: stealin’ some guy’s identity like that? Fucked up. Just fucked up. I ain’t letting him get away with it.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): …Barnes. He’s not? Stealing? An identity?

JB: yeah right

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): he’s literally not.

JB: bullshit. I’m callin’ it now. Tell your pal that this is a new low and he ain’t getting away with it. That guy’s good people. He ain’t deserve this.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): O

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): K?

JB: good.

SM: Wade

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I know

SM: It’s right there in his face?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I literally don’t know how Red gets away with this time and time again.

DD: I don’t know what you two are talking about. I’m just out here, doing my best, not showing my ass at every opportunity.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): for real: how the fuck do you do this, Red?

SM: pls share?

DD: oh its easy

DD: I just

DD: lie about everything that doesn’t matter

DD: and tell only the truth about everything that does.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): hhhhhhhhh

SM: …okay but consider

SM: what if

SM: we just

SM: lied about EVERYTHING. All the time. Badly.

SM: would that work?

DD: what do you think, Spiderchild?

SM: is that a no?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Webs I’m dyin’ hon. You’ve truly learned nothing. I’m so proud.

CA: aw Red you’re actually really cute

JB: NO. I’ve told you this. these are lies.

CA: no I found a picture

JB: you’re pissed. Go back to the couch. No texting.

CA: so cute ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

CA: I’d sleep with you in a heartbeat

DD: helLO

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I cannot believe this

JB: that’s not him, doll, I literally said this. I know you want it to be but it ain’t

DD: could be. Tell me more, Captain.

JB: you’re a bastard and on my list, shithead.

DD: I’m not talking to you, Sergeant.

S2: awwww Cap’s a friendly drunk that’s adorable

JB: it is not

JB: it is the bane of my fucking existence

SM: lol cheers to that

JB: how are you old enough to drink

SM: I’m 26 Sarge

JB: ASDAFSDFKJ:KJF

CA: oh my god you were just a baby yesterday

CA: I’m so proud of you [redacted]

SM: aw thanks man

CA: you never got taller

SM: nevermind.

S2: AHAHAHA

SM: Sarge take him away he’s destroying the unity of this team

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): he does have a point, kiddo.

SM: Cap would you fuck Wade?

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oh, I see. Very good diversion technique. I give it a 76%.

CA: Uuuuuuh yeah. Probably

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): !

JB: NO. No. He’s not fucking anyone. He’s very intoxicated because Thor has no respect for boundaries or my general wellbeing and Sam said that this is historically my problem.

CA: Thor doesn’t think I’m a think

CA: ting?

CA: Tthaong

JB: a thing

CA: yes that one ❤

CA: oh wow there are colors 💚💛🧡💜

CA: Is there a blue one?

JB: ADAS:KDFsdf Steven. Couchtime. Not phone time.

CA: Blue? Please? Then couch?

JB: oh for fuck’s sake

JB: 💙

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): you’re weak, Barnes.

JB: shove it

CA: I like it

CA: oh wait!!!

CA:❤♡💙 it’s SAM

JB:sigh

S2: oh my god he’s so fucking cute I want a drunk Cap for my birthday party.

S3: you know what the opposite of what you need is, LS? A drunk Cap for your birthday party.

S2: shut up you, stop ruining my fun. I’m trying to talk to Captain America.

CA: oh we’re talking!

CA: sorry. what were we talking about?

S2: Class struggle

CA: PAPA MARX

JB: God help me this is why we have a publicist

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oh

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Cap, are you a communist?

JB: He’s not an anything. He’s having another drink to get us to 5-drink Steve who is quiet and shy, which is good for my blood pressure.

SM: lol 5-drink Spidey likes to dance

S2: 5-drink Spidey can come to my birthday party.

S3: LS, you’re not legally allowed to drink. Even on your birthday.

S2: I JUST told you to stop ruining my life.

S4: Is that how drinking works? Your personality changes on every drink?

DD: yes

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): mmmmm

SM: yes

S3: no bitsy, people just get drunker and drunker. That makes them more and more stupid.

S4: How many drinks in are the people who try to hit us with pipes?

SM: lol like 8

DD: around 7

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Some of them are sober, kiddo, sorry to tell.

S4: that sucks

CA: who’s hitting you with a pipe???

JB: We don’t need that info right now.

CA: yes we do???????????

JB: doll no one is outside to take revenge on

CA: where the fuck did everyone go???

JB:sigh

S2:give him to me

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): ^^^

DD: Did you not hear, Cap? God sent the plague.

CA: HEDIDWHAT

JB: YOU MOTHERFUCKER

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Red you’re my soulmate

DD: I know. It’s tragic.

JB: Hi, this is Sam. Thank you guys for babysitting. I’m taking the T-bird away, though. He’s on the verge of tears.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oooh. does this make you Daddy then, Wilson?

JB: …

S2: eh?

BT: ?

BT: Teach appears to be having a sudden and strong reaction to this for some reason? I suspect it is positive. Possible weeping.

SM: I don’t get it

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): Thank you Red for appreciating me when no one else does. I knew I kept you around for a reason

JB: Have none of y’all heard the Beach Boys??

S2: who’re they?

S3: OH SHIT. I GET IT

S4: beach…

JB: This team is devastating, Wilson. I will keep my boys.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): do they know the Beach Boys?

JB: One moment.

SM: Oh, I’ve heard this song. Oh. OH. I get it!!!

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): still waiting, Wilson.

JB: listen.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): HA

JB: one of them was frozen and the other was fresh out of Soviet Russia when that song came out. They can’t be blamed. They just finally listened to Elvis last week, man.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): omg

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): how did that go?

JB: I think they were confused. They wanted…trumpets? For some reason they wanted trumpets. They always want brass in music I swear to god.

S3: oh. Mood.

JB: ? who are you?

S3: me?

S2: or me?

S4: or me?

JB: …how the hell does JB keep up with this?

S4: him and Cap mostly talk to me.

JB: S4? Oh, Bitsy. Okay, I know you. Who are these other two?

S4: You haven’t met?

S4: Little Spidey, S3, this is Mr. Wilson!! He’s very nice and even though he’s from Harlem, he has Virginian habits.

JB: wh

JB: how can you know that

S4: Sarge told me you grew up there for a while and you drawl when you’re tired

JB: I

JB: where the fuck did he go

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): lolololololol

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): it’s okay fellow Wilson, I am not from this blessed city either.

JB: no, I am from this city, thank you very much. Harlem. I just moved down south for a while when I was a teenager. That’s all.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): 😊

JB: is that meant to be threatening?

S4: wade be nice. Mr. Wilson is friend, not food.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): ❤👋

JB: You call this guy by his first name, Bitsy??

S4: yeah! He’s my friend!

JB: I’m having flashbacks.

SM: ❤

SM: do you know how much I love you, Mr. Wilson?

JB: you terrify me.

JB: you started off so sweet.

SM: I punched JB within seconds of knowing him.

JB: that was a mutual misunderstanding. I forgive you for that.

SM: wh

SM: what?

S2: forgiveness is a foreign concept to Spidey

JB: who are you?

S2: Me? I’m little spidey. The pink one. We actually met at an event a while back. The one for kids?

JB: oh shit. Sorry honey I didn’t mean to forget.

S2: niceness? what is this?

SM: Mr. Wilson, I’m sorry but you have to go. This is a vigilantes + Rogers-Cap only chat. We didn’t give you admittance.

JB: sure thing. Thank you for minding the idiots for a time. Sorry Steve’s a bit of a sloppy drunk. If it is any consolation, he’s climbed into Thor’s lap now and is being consoled for his hardships.

SM: no problem

SM: actually. Could you just clarify: the govt isn’t really going to use Cap for experimental treatment trials are they?

JB: No. They’re not. We talked to our lawyer about it to make sure. Sorry if that alarmed anyone; our publicist is working with the press to put out a corrective article soon.

SM: gotcha

JB: Wait, actually can I ask a question too? Why do they call you ‘Red,’ DD?

DD: I’m told it’s the suit, Cap. But I don’t pick my names, they’re given to me.

JB: hm

DD: any other questions?

JB: not for now. But expect to hear from me in future.

DD: I won’t. But you’re welcome to call. You have my number.

JB: I

JB: I take it back, Spidey.

JB: This guy terrifies me.

DD: me? Why, Captain. I’m just an ordinary man, doing right by my community when and where I can.

JB: I talked to Danny Rand. He seems to think you’re part of a cult.

DD: goddamnit Danny this is why no one trusts you.

JB:[redacted] wouldn’t marry a cult member, his head is on too straight.

DD: who’s that, love? Is he cute? Is he available? Tell him I’m very handsome and dangerous.

JB: hm.

DD: hm.

JB: okay I’m holding onto that. Stay healthy, y’all. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

SM: No promises.

S2: not in this house.

S3: bye Falco-cap!

S4: tell Cap-Cap that we’re routing for him, too!!

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): omg Cap-Cap.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): but no, tell Steven that me and Red are available for a threesome starting immediately post-shelter-order.

DD: A twosome.

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): oh. Why, Hornhead, I had no idea such feelings still burned in your heart for me.

DD: just me and the knife I’m about to stab myself with if you KEEP TALKING SHIT, WADE.