[redacted]
Blindspot: Okay, y’all asked and we did our best to deliver and I’m never forgiving any of you. link
Little Spidey (Pink): Twitter we are never asking any of you for requests ever again. link
Spiderman 4.0: Hi, so we attempted to let our family and friends join us in the chat, guy, as requested. We had to move it to a different chatroom though because [redacted] so don’t mind the new set up. And just know things got a little…let’s say out of hand in places. link
---
BT Sis: [image]
BT Sis: FIRST MOTHERFUCKERS
BT: ohmygod, put flaming elmo away I’m so sorry everyone, she’s always like this
BT Sis: Suck it
BT:sibling.
BT Sis: YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
BT: yes I can. I'm four years older than you go take a bath
BT Sis: EAT SHIT BOOMER
SM: omg
S2: omg
S3: If my sister spoke that way to me I’d cry
S2: awwww
SM Auntie: that’s sweet
SM Auntie: oh! What a cute username! Did you make this for me [redacted]?
SM: No, [redacted], you can’t use names. No names!!
SM Auntie: challenging
SM: you can do it!!
SM Auntie: I’m gonna try my best!!
SM:💪☝👍
SM Auntie: 💪🕸🕷☝
SM: ❤❤❤
S2: omg they’re so cute
DD’s Handsome and Beloved: [redacted] Change the name or suffer the consequences
DD: but it is everything you are and are meant to be?
DD Handsome and Beloved: Change the name or suffer the consequences.
S3: oh shit
S4: yikes
DD: I don’t know how ask the Spiderkid
DD’s Handsome and Beloved: [redacted] I will burn this place to the ground
SM: Right click. Change nickname
DD’s Husband and Future Murderer: Thank you
SM: akdfa;sldjfsdf
DP – I hate all the emojis on this platform: GET IT BABES
SM: Wade no. Change it to something clearer
DP – I don’t know what you’re talking about: What is unclear?
S2: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh
SM: this is going to be a shitshow
BT: Abort abort abort
S3: gonna be messy
S4: My friend said he can’t do it ☹
S3: I know, I haven’t told anyone so there’s no one for me either
S2: My little sis wants to do it but my big sis told me that we’d both die if that happened so I guess it’s just the chuckleheads who’ve got folks
S4: honestly, that’s probably enough
SM Auntie: I am already overwhelmed 😊
S2: aww, don’t be. It’ll be easier as we go on.
DP (selling cat. $20 starting price): or not
SM Auntie: oh Wade. Did you bring [redacted]?
SM: NAMES
SM Auntie: sorry sorry!
SM Auntie: Did you bring your little one?
DP (SM sent me 45 threatening messages just now about my name): she is not old enough to read or spell fast enough for this medium. This would not end well for any of us.
SM Auntie: oh that’s fair. Tell her I say hi!
Wade (fine, but not for you, Webs): copy that
Superior BT: hey are you really Deadpool?
BT: You are not funny, change it back. you’re confusing people.
Superior BT: make me
BT: I’m telling mom
Superior BT: what’s she gonna do? Smack me from beyond the grave?
BT: I’m telLING MOM
Superior BT: do it
S3: omg
BT: Hi, mom. Hope heaven is great. [redacted] is disrespecting me, her eldest and only brother AGAIN. Make. Her. STOP.
Superior BT: as if mom’s in heaven.
BT: THAT IS OUR MOTHER
BT: You bring shame upon this family
Superior BT:I bring shame upon this family? You went out an became a vigilante while mom was still alive and then you liedto her about it.
BT: I would never lie to our mother how dare you
Superior BT: you lied to our mother daily
S2: wow family counseling needed here stat
S3: ^
S4: I wish I had a sibling ☹ you all seem to be having so much fun
BT: I’m banning you
Superior BT: oh I’m so scared. Oh woe is me.
Superior BT: oh wait no that’s just the sexism. Why do you getting banning powers, brother of mine? Think about that. Think about why mom liked you better.
BT: maybe it was because I didn’t stuff dead rats in her slippers? did you ever think of that one??
Superior BT: No one told me what I supposed to do with them
BT: I LITERALLY DID
Superior BT: That was your fault then you should have been watching me better
BT: I. WAS. 7.
DD: youths please cease
BT: fine
Superior BT: you don’t own me, gingerbread
SM: ffffffffffffffffffffffff
Wade: HA
S2: OH MY GOD. BT, I LOVE HER.
DD’s Husband: That’s rude.
BT: Fucking rude. Apologize.
Superior BT: Why should I? He stole my brother and encouraged illegal activity.
BT: Because he’s my teacher and I respect him. Apologize. Now. I mean it.
Superior BT: okay fine, I’m sorry that was uncalled for. It’s not your fault [redacted] is an idiot.
SM: Names, guys. Names.
Superior BT: oh shit my bad. Sorry [redacted].
SM: this is impossible. I’m going to have a stroke.
D2 Child: hi!!
S2: oh my god, hey you!!
S3: Hi!!!
D2: hey all. Have successfully added the beast to the server. This thing is kind of wild, no?
DD: *inaccessible
D2: oh really?
--
DD >> SM: I literally cannot keep up with this. Reader isn’t working. I’m gonna do my best, but might have to sit some of this one out.
SM >> DD: damn. Sorry about that. The version I sent you wasn’t any better?
DD >> SM: not really. JAWS is freaking out and skipping things.
SM >> DD: damn. That’s shitty. We can use another format?
DD >> SM: no, it’s okay. We’ll make do. Fogs is helping a lot. It would be great if the chat could be slowed down, though?
SM >> DD: That I can do.
DD >> SM: thanks
--
D2 Child: dad I don’t like this name I want to be the beast.
D2: okay
The Beast (D2 Child): yesssssssssssssssssssss
S2: Dave you are like the coolest dad ever. My dad would have just said no
D2: that’s nice of you to say
The Beast (D2 Child): HE’S THE BEST DAD
S3: aw
S4: no, my dad’s the best dad
The Beast (D2 Child): you’re wrong
D2: hey now
The Beast (D2 Child): sorry you’re wrong from MY perspective
S3: oh my god
S4: I don’t think we’ve met?
The Beast (D2 Child): no. You’re the black one?
D2: ASDJFK:SDFJSD
D2: IM SO SORRY
S3: lol
S4: I mean. Yes? In more ways than one?
The Beast (D2 Child): neat.
S4: ✊🏾✊🏾
The Beast (D2 Child): ✊✊
S2: Dave it’s going to be okay. Stop typing it’s been 2 minutes
S3: it’s fine Dave. They’re around the same age, they understand each other
The Beast (D2 Child): wait you’re 12?
S4: nope
The Beast (D2 Child): up or down
S4: Up. But not much. I’m not supposed to say
The Beast (D2 Child): worm
S4: 🤙🏾
SM Auntie: awwwww
S2: ^
BT: Sibling, take notes on proper discussion etiquette
BT (Superior) Sis: they’re babies. Is that legal?
BT: what do you think?
BT (Superior) Sis: are you talking down to me?
BT: what? No. I was just asking what you thought? Also you’re my only sister, you can’t be the superior one.
BT (Superior) Sis: that’s quitter talk
BT: do we…have another sibling?
BT (Superior) Sis: Mom you whore
BT: dgsdfddjfalsdf
BT: take it back take it back she’s gonna see it in the afterlife and haunt us
BT (Superior) Sis: I can’t she already saw it. sorry BB
BT: rip
BT (Superior) Sis: rip (mom)
BT: adshkdhfaskdfhsdkfjdl;kfdfs
S2: it’s cute how you two make each other laugh
BT: I’m not laughing
BT Sis: we don’t laugh
BT: This is a no emotions household.
BT Sis: Amen UwU
BT: UwU
DD’s Husband: you two scream at each other on the phone every day
BT Sis: he knows too much
BT: UwU must die
DD: take it back.
BT: yes sir
Wade: HEY.
Wade: Invisi-sibling.
Wade: call me sir.
BT Sis: on what grounds
Wade: no one else will and it hurts my feelings
BT Sis: that’s weird [redacted] calls everyone sir. He’s oppressed like that.
BT: NAMES
BT Sis: sorry sorry. Damn. This is hard.
SM Auntie: it really is!!
S2: wait Auntie can you tell us a baby Spidey story??
SM: there are no baby Spidey stories, I was a perfect child.
SM Auntie: he really was ❤
SM: see? It’s Y’ALL who are the problems with this team
SM Auntie: we did lose 4 backpacks in one year once because we kept forgetting where we webbed them up in the city after school though ❤
SM: IM SORRY I HAVENT DONE IT SINCE
SM Auntie: I know honey. But you really could use a new one now.
S3: wholesome…
S2: ikr?
SM: I don’t need a new one. What’s wrong with mine now?
SM Auntie: it has holes in it.
SM: it’s a backpack, it’s supposed to have holes in it.
S2: bruh
S3: Spidey have you seen your backpack?
S4: it’s cool
S3: no
S4: yeah
SM: yeah, it’s badass. what about it?
SM Auntie: holes in the sides. Holes should only be on the top of a backpack.
SM: I mean, if it bothers you that much, I’ve got time and tape?
SM Auntie: please refrain
DD’s Husband: Kid you have an income now.
SM: what
DD’s Husband: money may be exchanged for goods and services.
SM: I don’t understand.
SM Auntie: [redacted]! How’ve you been?! I haven’t heard from you since the wedding.
SM: names. Names. NAMES, PEOPLE. It’s gonna take me years to edit this.
DD’s Husband: have been okay. Have been prescribed ‘zero outside time’ by my doctor, which sucks. But DD brings the great outdoors inside for me, so that’s been helpful
S2: ?
DD: history of being immune-comprised
DD’s Husband: not great, not great
S2: damn. DD you better be full-body disinfecting when you come back in.
DD: have been informed that showering in disinfectant is ‘overkill.’
DD’s Husband: but the raccoon was somehow warranted?
DD: I thought you were missing them
DD’s Husband: we both know that’s a lie
DD: I thought it would make you laugh?
DD’s Husband: and how did that pan out for you?
DD: poorly
DD’s Husband: if only you could apply this logic to the vigilante thing, then we’d be in business. Literally in business. As in, I wouldn’t have to pick up your fucking slack in our business.
DD: am bringing coffee now.
DD’s Husband: thank you
S2: husband, what is it like having power over one of the most dangerous people in the country?
DD’s Husband: not too bad. BT stays in his room until physically dragged out
BT: 😀
BT’s Sis: pft. you’re not dangerous. I’ve had pillows more dangerous than you.
BT: why can’t you let me have nice things?
S2: lol
DD: I’m not even in the top ten of that list, LS.
BT: unfortunately
Wade: yeah, idk if even I’d make it in the top ten, hon.
S2: that’s…terrifying.
Wade: c’est la vie.
S2: ew French
S3: yikes wade, showing some Canadian there
Wade: I was going to say something but I don’t want to start a civil war, so I won’t
S2: I’m sorry, you don’t want to start a civil war?
Wade: Canadians are very sensitive about French.
S3: wade you’re job is to punch people in their dicks. What does this matter to you?
The Beast (D2 Child): I want that job
D2: no you don’t
The Beast (D2 Child): yeah I do
Wade: oooooh, okay. I’ve got steps, are you prepared for the challenge?
D2: Wade please don’t encourage this. She’s already been suspended from online school. I can’t be doing another virtual parent-teacher conference. Her mom’s gonna kill me.
The Beast (D2 Child): I’m prepared!!
Wade: okay, so your first job is to have a terrible childhood.
The Beast (D2 Child): Check!!
D2: I’m sorry, what?
SM: sldjasldfjsdlfjs
S2: HA
S3: oh wow
Wade: good work. Next step is to join the army.
The Beast (D2 Child): but dad said the army’s for squares and bootlickers.
SM: AFSA:KSDFJSDF
DD: Yessss
D2: WE ARE DONE WITH COMPUTER TIME NOW
S2: Dave oh my god I had no idea you were so anti-state??
D2: I’m not?? I’m very pro-government! I’m just anti-war!! It’s different!
S3: “squares and bootlickers”
D2: IT IS RHETORIC
DD: I don’t see the problem
DD’s Husband: you never do
DD: eyyyy
DD’s Husband: eyyyyyyy
BT: oh my god this is awful, someone take the couple out of the chat. They’re gonna start flirting
DD: Flirting? You want flirting, I hear?
DD’s Husband: are we flirting now?
DD: yes
DD: so
DD: do you come here often?
DD’s Husband: no, but if you keep bringing me drinks, that could change.
SM: jesus help us
SM Auntie: I think it’s sweet! I remember when you two first got together!
DD: oh shit sorry pal, I got a thing
DD’s Husband: amazing. I’ve got a thing in the opposite direction happening right now
SM: what the fuck? Are you two seriously embarrassed right now? About that??
BT: they only like to be disgusting if it’s their own idea
SM Auntie: DD, you were so shy ❤❤❤❤
DD: Excuse me I must go suffocate
SM Auntie: you didn’t want to tell anyone how you felt but it was all over your face
DD’s Husband: YOU WERE SHY, DOUBLE DICK?? WE ROOMED TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS.
DD: I HAVE TRAUMA.
DD’s Husband: YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT?
DD: stop doing this people are watching
DD’s Husband: Because WE ROOMED TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS.
S2: omg ‘double dick’
DD’s Husband: How the fuck were you shy about this?? I have walked in on you actively fucking so many people
DD: There are children present, Mr. Daredevil. For shame.
DD’s Husband: Esteemed Aunt. Please share more.
DD: please share less.
BT: wow y’all definitely skipped that part of your love story when you told it to me
Wade: hoo boy you have no idea
DD: I will take every one of your soon-to-be cats for no money whatsoever if you keep your trap shut
Wade: 😊
DD’s Husband: I think not. We already have two dogs and an apprentice in this house. There is no room for the supply of Benadryl that having cats would warrant.
DD: you’re no fun.
BT Sis: you know, I think I am revising my opinions of you guys. I thought the ginger one was evil incarnate, but actually I’m seeing now that he’s just whipped for one person and one person only
DD: What is this? Bully DD hour?
DD’s Husband: actually here are 4 of us he listens to.
BT Sis: how do I get on that list?
DD: you will never get on that list.
Wade: I’m on the list if I’ve got some dirt.
DD’s Husband: that’s true
DD: fuck off I’m leaving if you’re all just going to be horrible.
S2: Auntieeeee
SM Auntie: yes?
S2: tell us baby spidey storiessssss
SM Auntie: I don’t have any that are okay to share
S2: ☹
SM Auntie: sorry ☹
S3: why aren’t they okay to share?
SM Auntie: very personal.
S3: that’s understandable
S2: okay can you just tell us what baby Spidey was like then?
SM Auntie: oh sure
SM Auntie: he was very well behaved and shy.
S3: aww
S2: that’s boring
SM Auntie: 😊 It wasn’t boring for me! I wasn’t prepared to have kids at all so I took anything that I could get!
S3: that’s fair
S2: yeah I guess.
SM: what’s the matter? Y’all disappointed with the lack of shit you can talk about me?
S2: yeah
S3: lol what happened Spidey? You went from meek to disaster overnight.
SM: yeah a traumatic event will do that to you.
SM Auntie: repeated brain injury will too ❤
SM: that felt pointed
SM Auntie: ❤
SM: I haven’t smashed my head against anything for like, six months now
SM Auntie: oh really? Then what were you doing this morning on the counter?
SM: …it helps me think
SM Auntie: I don’t like it. Think in other ways.
SM: I can’t
SM Auntie: you can.
SM: okay I’ll try
SM Auntie: thank you
S2: Auntie tell us about Spirulina
SM Auntie: !!
SM: Why would you do that to me girl
SM Auntie: I have heard!! About this purple fruit!!
SM: dragon fruit
SM Auntie: I want to try it!!
SM: you’ve already tried it
SM Auntie: that one wasn’t right. I want to try a better one!
SM: they’re all like that.
SM Auntie: hush you. that one wasn’t right.
SM: BT
BT: sup
SM: you’ve eaten hella dragon fruit, right?
BT: yeah it’s in a lot of desserts rn
SM: please tell my aunt that it is supposed to be bland as fuck
BT: oh
BT: did you not know this?
BT Sis: Its boring and purely there for the aesthetic
BT: what she means is that dragon fruit is very mild and some people really like it for that
BT Sis: AKA: boring
BT: AKA not everything you eat has to feel like a punch to the face
BT Sis: I don’t get it
BT: tea
BT Sis: oh. now I get it
S2: what happened between you two? You seem much more chill now.
BT Sis: we watched two hours of korean soaps on stream
BT: there’s this one about this girl who’s a ghost and this other girl who’s a chef
BT Sis: and this ghost girl possesses the chef girl, who’s in love with her head chef
BT: and she makes the head chef fall in love with her
BT Sis: but then there’s murder
BT: murder
BT Sis:murder
BT Sis: so we’re invested now
BT: ^
S2: you guys are wild. I’ve been watching Wade try to talk Bella into imagining that she’s not pregnant for half an hour. I don’t know what he came into the kitchen for but he doesn’t seem like he’s leaving any time soon.
S3: Where’s Dave?
D2: present
S3: what are you and the Beast doing?
The Beast (D2 Child): we’re making dad birthday things
S4: I want to make birthday things
The Beast (D2 Child): you can if you want. Mom’s making them on facetime with us.
S2: what are birthday things?
D2: apparently we need to cover all the doors in the house in streamers
The Beast (D2 Child): it’s festive, parental unit
S2: lol
S3: ‘parental unit’ omg
D2: it is an unnecessary waste of paper at best. I am here for Rolla and Rolla only
S3: Rolla?
The Beast (D2 Child): aunts dogs name is Rollup. Like fruit roll up cuz she’s a whole serving size. We call her Lola Rolla tho cuz she deserves it
SM: AHAHA
SM Auntie: That’s precious
The Beast (D2 Child): we made dad a lola rolla cake cuz he’s her biggest fan
D2: I would die for this dog
D2: and now excuse me because my fam is going to kill me when they learn from this chat what bullshit I’ve been doing at night
The Beast (D2 Child): oh you don’t have to worry about that. Mom figured it out 2 months in and told everyone already
D2: …
S2: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh
S3: whoops
D2: I have a phonecall to make. Spiderchildren. Please babysit.
S2: Dave you have to remarry her now, she knows your darkest secret
The Beast (D2 Child): they don’t wanna be married anymore tho. Mom’s got a new boyfriend who’s not half as good as my dad, but he’s fine if you like body builders.
S3: Im going to cry
SM: Is dave not a body builder?
The Beast (D2 Child): no dad’s a reformed anarchist
S3: I am now crying
SM: that explains why DD’s Husband was into his band then
DD’s Husband: beg pardon?
S3: Spidey
SM: holy shit
SM: No you’re absolutely right this is our chance
SM: Husband. Please tell us about Dave’s old metal band
DD’s Husband: oh yes, I remember this conversation. I dyed my hair purple because of their bassist
DD: how dare you speak of past loves without me
DD’s Husband: Go back outside I was admiring your ass gardening
DD: hm
S2: Husband used Flatter. It was very effective.
DD: you are on my list, small one.
S2: spot the lie old man
DD’s Husband: yeah I don’t remember Dave too much because obviously I was busy. But I remember the red mohawk.
SM: THE WHAT
The Beast (D2 Child): the mohawk!!! Dad come back you gotta tell em about the mohawk!! It was a faux hawk when I was born
SM: my life has turned upside down
S2: Dave. With a cherry red faux hawk. Someone hold me. Someone fan me.
The Beast (D2 Child): it wasn’t all red. It was striped 😀 He helped me stripe my hair with blue like Auntie’s
SM: wait so your aunt with the dog was your dad’s bandmate?
The Beast (D2 Child): yeah she was the drummer. She and dad are metal siblings. They got matching tattoos before the band split up.
S2: DAVID COME BACK AND SHOW US YOUR TATS
D2: this is enough internet time. Let’s go make my life miserable in other places hell-child.
The Beast (D2 Child): k
The Beast (D2 Child): byyyyyye
S3: byyyyye
S4: bye!! Text me I want to be friends
The Beast (D2 Child): okay I will!!
S2: Dave. You must show us the Tats.
D2: no thank you I don’t need anyone recognizing them on the internet.
SM: and here I thought I was alone in tats-land on this team
S3: aww, wait, Auntie do you like Spidey’s tats? Do you approve?
SM: sorry she left to go read more mom blog accounts of dragon fruit, hold on let me get her.
BT: I want a tat
BT Sis: okay let’s go get you one. I’ll hold your hand while you cry in the chair
BT: thanks
S2: do you have tats??
BT Sis: me? Oh yeah. I’ve got 4. Invisiboy went to acrobat school though and they beat tattoo-loving out of him there.
BT: they told me that it made people look dirty 😥
BT Sis: but then he turned around and totally helped me forge mom’s signature to get my first one
BT: Dear Mom in the afterlife, I’m sorry. I only did it one more time after that
S2: you two are wild
BT Sis: no our mom just super tightly wound. And [redacted] has a guilt complex because he’s the first and only son.
S2: ah
S3: that explains a lot actually
BT: I have responsibilitiesssssssssssssssssssss
BT Sis: mama’s boy
BT: wow
BT: you know I can’t fight back that’s horrible of you
S2: you could be a papa’s boy now if you accept Red into your heart as your true and distant father?
BT: I would rather drink mouthwash thanks
BT Sis: too tall. Too scruffy. Too good at catching vermin.
BT: he’s so fucking good at catching vermin holy shit it’s his superpower.
S4: I caught a pigeon the other day
S2: NO
S3: bitsy no
S4: my mom told me to put it back.
S3: oh thank god
SM Auntie: hello!
S3: oh hi!
S2: welcome back!
SM: Questions about tats
SM Auntie: what about them?
S2: do you approve of Spidey’s tats?
S3: ^
SM Auntie: oh I think they’re beautiful
SM: ❤❤❤
S3: why don’t you two fight?
SM: we do, just not over shit that doesn’t matter.
SM Auntie: Teenagehood has passed and that is a blessing for all of us.
S2: do you have tats, auntie?
SM Auntie: a few!
SM: she came with me to get my first one
S3: aw
S2: woah. When was that?
SM: uuuuuh 18? 19?
SM Auntie: I think 19.
SM: And I’ve been collecting them ever since. I took Wade with me once and he made himself sick thinking about pig skin
S2: what
Wade: not right
Wade: shit’s just not right
S2: um?
SM: Wade doesn’t eat pork
Wade: it don’t sweat
Wade: what the fuck
SM: this is hilarious because wade has eaten bear
Wade: bears sweat
S2: I don’t understand
SM Auntie: Wade don’t you like bratwurst?
Wade: …yes
SM Auntie: go google that ❤
S2: oh wow
Wade: you are a conniving and hateful woman
SM Auntie: you always say that
Wade: I have never not meant it
S3: um? Hostility?
SM: it’s fine, this is how they’ve always been
Wade: how many years have I been living this sausage lie?
SM: at least 15?
Wade: no I stopped with the pig around like 20
SM: so 25
Wade: Red get your husband back here I need legal counsel
DD: for what
Wade: discrimination
DD: again: for what?
DD’s Husband: legal counsel present
Wade: counsel tell this young man that spreading lies of false age is slander
DD’s Husband: wade 45 isn’t that old
Wade: spoken like a true 41 yo
DD’s Husband: 42.
SM: 👀
S2: !!
S3: you’re older than DD?
DD: yes
DD’s Husband: yes? I was born in Feb?
SM: How did I never connect that
DD: ancient and wise one
DD’s Husband: Says chronic knee pain
DD: says chronic cancer pain
DD’s Husband: you talkin’ to me or wade?
Wade: W O W
Wade: me. Obvs.
DD: You are a clever and worthy adversary.
DD’s Husband: I know
SM: we should swap DD out for you.
DD: What?
DD’s Husband: that would be bad
BT: I think you mean ‘amazing’ and ‘perfect.’
DD: No. Absolutely not. Too dangerous.
S3: …
S2: …
D2: …hm.
DD’s Husband: oh really
Wade: red this is a trap
SM: ^
DD’s Husband: if it is too dangerous for me
DD’s Husband: have you ever considered that it might be too dangerous for you?
Wade: Red pal cut them losses now while you’re ahead
SM: ^^^
DD: no
DD: it’s different
Wade: you fool. You absolute fool.
SM: smh
DD’s Husband: explain. Immediately.
DD: Me? Unstable. Deathwish. You? Stable. Self-preservation instincts.
DD’s Husband: that could change
DD: what does that mean
DD’s Husband: It means that that could change
DD: I don’t understand
S2: Red just walks right into all his problems doesn’t he?
SM: p much
DD’s Husband: Think, darling. I have witnessed you use braincells before.
DD: I can’t when you’re calling me darling. what did I do?
Wade: this is painful to witness
DD: why? What is painful about this?
BT: Teach, [redacted] is saying that he’s willing to go out and do something stupid to prove you wrong.
DD: WHAT
DD: No
DD: Not allowed
DD’s Husband: double standard
DD: you’re damn right there is
BT: ANYWAYS. Let’s talk about Wade’s kid
Wade: oh yes. what about her?
S2: is she well?
S3: is she happy?
SM: has she finally stopped trying to climb in the dryer?
Wade: negative all around.
S4: I WANT TO MEET
S3: Bitsy you just want a team of your own
S4: yes! I’m going to recruit all y’all’s kids and we’re gonna make a mini Spidey team. Just you wait.
Wade: oh she’d destroy that in a heartbeat
SM: did you tell her Bella is going to have babies?
Wade: I told her that Bella is going to live with her grandmother in Tennessee for 9 months.
SM Auntie: Cats are only pregnant for around 2 months Wade
SM: Summer babies ❤
Wade: I fear for my life if she gets her hands on anything her-hand-sized.
S2: I’m sure she’d be gentle
Wade: she told me she’s growing wolverine claws and when she’s done I’m finished.
S2: nvm maybe not
SM: what’s her deal with wolverine?
Wade: idk I finally introduced them and she told me he was a bad cosplayer
SM: AAFKS:JFDKFSSS
Wade: he was not impressed
Wade: and then he yelled at me for like an hour over smth I don’t remember I wasn’t paying attention
BT Sis: woah. You can just meet??? Other superpeople??
BT: no
BT Sis: introduce me to Captain America
BT: I don’t know him or his mutt
BT Sis: mutt?
SM: Sergeant Barnes.
BT Sis: Oh
Wade: where is that fucker
SM: he’s not invited to the server wade, chill.
Wade: I don’t trust that for a second
SM Auntie: Sergeant Barnes? He’s very nice. Came around the other week asking for your old phone, SM.
SM: he…did what?
S2: 👀👀👀👀
S3: oh lord
S4: he did ask me about your phone too now that I think about it
SM: and you didn’t tell me???
S4: no? He said it didn’t matter after all.
S2: 👀👀👀
SM: excuse me I have an email to draft
SM Auntie: I’m going to make dinner! It was great talking to all of you! Hope you stay safe!
S2: thanks auntie!
S3: thank you! You too! Major thanks to you as a frontline worker!!
S2: yea hella thanks
S4: major major thank you!!!
Wade: ^
SM Auntie: aw, thank you. That’s very sweet. Keep those thanks for the folks still out in the field, though, I haven’t been cleared to go back yet ❤
BT Sis: is this it? Are we done? Can I go back to torturing my brother in peace?
BT: yes
BT Sis: are you just saying that or do you mean it?
DD’s Husband: I am done here
S2: ominous
BT: Boss is making sad noises at the dogs in the other room.
DD’s Husband: as he will be for the next 24 hrs.
DD’s Husband: nice chatting to you all.
S2: bye husband we love you please stay safe and make DD take chemical baths so you stay that way!
S3: bye!
DD’s Husband: that’s very kind, we’re already taking plenty of precautions, but thanks. Feel better, y’all.
S4: bye!
BT Sis: and then there was one.
BT: New stream started. You have snacks?
BT Sis: peace motherfuckers
S2: wow that was easy.
S3: I miss my sister now
S2: yeah same.
S4: I want a sibling.
S2: I’m gonna call them. Bye y’all!
S4: I WANT A SIBLING
S3: sorry bitsy. You’ve got us?
S4: it’s not the same ☹
Wade: it’s all you need rn kiddo. Go harass your dad.
S4: okay I can do that.
JB: hello
Wade: WAJFW:EFJW
Wade: I’m
Wade: I’m
Wade: I’m gonna have to kill you
JB: 😊 I’d like to see you try funny man
Wade: SPIDEY GET BACK HERE THERES BEEN AN INTRUDER