Idiots

Matt was an idiot.

He couldn’t understand how he got into this situation, one moment he’s fighting Nazi ninjas, then he’s in the goddamn garbage for the umpteenth time.
‘It’s meant to be’ Matt thought cynically.

“Are you okay mister?” Matt heard a voice say. They were young, around eight or nine. Matt groaned. Just his luck that he gets stuck with a kid. Not even mentioning the broken bones he has. Claire was going to beat his ass. Forgetting the fact that Foggy will nag at him for days when he finds out.

“Mister?” the kid called again.

“Where are your parents' kid?” No matter how many years he lived in New York, Matt would never get over how the parents here didn’t watch their children all that well.

“Mummy and Daddy are in heaven,” the boy said.

‘Shit,” Matt thought, ‘What an asshole move, ask a kid that is out at buttfuck o’clock where his parents are. Great job Matt, ten out of ten would do again.’ Now not only did he have to deal with a child, but he also had to deal with an angsty child. Matt had no one to blame, but himself. He realized that his mask was gone. He might as well make use out of the kid and maybe threaten him a tiny little bit to make sure his identity was safe. Just a little ominous message, that should scare the small child. Matt groaned as he started to get out of the trash can, he could feel his broken ribs moving with every moment of sitting up. Claire was gonna have an aneurysm, Matt could feel it in his broken soul. (‘I’m not a Doctor Matt, you don’t have healing powers stop being so reckless. The only reason you haven’t is because of your Catholicism I swear to God.’) Matt was never going to fight nazjas again. (Nazjas is an accurate name for them, no Foggy it’s not funny! Stop laughing!)

While Matt was having a hysteria attack, this is when realization started to hit the boy. ‘I’m trying to help a crazy person,’ Peter thought. He had no idea what to do. He had asked the man several times if he was alright and to no avail, the man, not only did not answer, but the second time around he started to laugh. ‘This man is going to kill me’ realization started to hit Peter. ‘I’m not going to come out of this.’ Peter started to slowly back away. Maybe, if Peter slowly went out of the weird man's vision, he wouldn’t notice, and Peter could getaway. ‘Don’t talk to strangers they said, you’ll regret it they said. Oh, I’m so regretting it now.’ He made a dash for the homeless alleyway that he had spent the last few days in. ‘If I’m gonna die, at least people will witness my death.’ Peter thought.
The kid was running away. The kid was running away. The same kid that had seen Matt fight the ninja Nazis. The kid same kid that had seen Matt's face. Shit. Matt jumped out of the trash can, refusing to acknowledge the pain he was in. He started dashing for the kid, surprisingly (or unsurprisingly) Matt caught up with the kid quickly. Matt lunged for the kid, tackling him as they fell, the force of landing on the pavement scrapping them both. Matt noticed that the kid was about to scream, cry, call for help, all the things Matt couldn’t let him do. He put his hand on the kid's mouth, making sure that nothing would be heard from him.

Peter was going to die, no doubts about it now. How could he have been so stupid? He should have minded his own business instead of poking his head around where he wasn’t needed. Peter started kicking and screaming or at least trying to. The man had a firm hold on him. Peter wasn’t getting out anytime soon. With that realization, he stopped his movements to escape the man's hold. The man dragged him back to the alleyway.

“Are you gonna be quiet?” He asked. Peter nodded, millions of scenarios flooding through his brain. Anxiety crawling all over his body, he saw the man sighed in relief. “Okay, I’m going to let go of your mouth, understand?” Peter shook his head. “Then, you're going to listen very closely to what I say, understood?” Again, Peter shook his head. The man slowly took his hand away, as if he was worried any fast movement was going to scare Peter away.

Matt couldn’t believe what he was doing. He truly was an idiot. Only now realizing what his actions meant to a ten-year-old. The kid probably thought Matt was a mass murderer so some crazy thing like that. “I’m not going to kill you.” Matt blurted. The kids' frame seemed to relax a bit, Matt continued, “You saw my face, which means that you’re a liability,” he resisted the urge to slap himself as the kid became tense again. Matt really wasn’t helping his own case (later that day he would laugh at the irony during a meeting with one of his clients).

“I won’t tell anyone!” Peter pleaded, “Please let me go back to my home!” Peter was going to do whatever it took to get back into his attic. He hadn’t survived on the streets all these years to be killed by a man that was hysterical because Peter saw his face. The man had a thoughtful look on his face, seeming to realize his mistake with calling Peter a liability. The man did say that he didn’t want to kill him, but Peter was aware that there are things worse than death. What if he was another Skip? Peter froze terror flooding through his body, no he would not think of that man.
“Please sir, let me go” Peter just wanted to go to his attic at this point. If he got lucky on the way he could con the hotdog man into giving him a free one. The man looked as if he was going to say something more about his identity. Why was seeing his face such a big deal anyway?

It’s not like Peter was going to the police anytime soon, considering he was actively running away from CPS. If anything, Peter should be the one worried. Curiosity overwhelmed him and before he could think, he was asking, “What’s the big deal of seeing your face? It’s not like you’re Iron Man or Captain America.” As soon as Peter said that realization dawned on him, “Are you one of those vigilantes?”
Let it be known that Matt actively tried to be a good person. He was a lawyer for God’s sake, yet here he is. In an alleyway, with a kid. A kid that now knew Matt as a vigilante or at least suspected as such. Matt was an idiot; these words were going to go on his grave at some point. Maybe he should distract the kid. If he bullshitted his way out of this, Matt would never doubt in any god ever again.

“Doesn’t matter, look kid. How about I go buy you an early breakfast and we forget about this whole ordeal entirely?” Matt asked.

There was no way he was going to pass up a full entire meal for free. He hadn’t eaten anything for a whole day. Contemplating the pros and cons, his appetite won over any rational thought. “Sure,” Peter answer simply, “Where to?”

“There’s a good diner somewhere around here,” Matt said.

“So, are you a vigilante?” Matt sighed. He truly was an idiot.