Chapter 13
STEVE
He knew something was up with his husband, dying his hair was just the beginning.
The other day…Steve found spanx in the laundry.
Goddamn spanx.
Now, he knew Tony didn’t like his grey hairs, but spanx? Nothing was wrong with his body. It genuinely confused the blonde – especially since they were still as handsy as teenagers. And, not to mention the fact Tony had recently given Steve the whole ‘love the body your in’ speech with pictures from his past.
So why would Tony suddenly be insecure about his looks?
He waited until they were getting ready for bed that evening to confront him about it.
When he saw his love standing in front of their full length mirror only wearing his black silk boxers, hands on his bare stomach with a frown on his face, Steve found himself easily walking up behind him to embrace his love.
A fake smile instantly appeared on Tony’s face that made Steve feel worse.
“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” the blonde asked gently. When his husband simply growled in response, Steve couldn’t help chuckling.
“Just because you have the ability to read my mind doesn’t mean you should abuse your powers,” the brunette pouted adorably.
“Pretty sure that’s exactly what that means. Especially since I’m just returning the favor,” he sassed back, happy to see the man genuinely smile at that; which prompted the super soldier to plant a quick kiss on his neck.
Those beautiful chocolate eyes shined as they turned to glare back at him in the mirror. Then, his drama queen threw his head back on Steve’s shoulder and groaned loudly with his eyes closed.
“Steeeve I’m so oooooold,” Tony complained. Steve chuckled as he ran his hands over his ridiculous husband’s body, reminding himself to behave enough to let Tony talk.
“Where is this coming from? And since when do you wear spanx?” he teased as he laughed along with his love.
“Don’t judge mister perfect body!” the brunette exclaimed as he then dramatically pulled away from the blonde. Steve let him go as he gently rolled his eyes, waiting for the man to continue and biting back the urge to remind his husband that working out and eating healthy is how he keeps his body.
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed…but I’ve put on a few pounds…” his ridiculous man began.
“I’ve noticed?” Steve said with a shrug, like he wouldn’t notice changes in his husband’s body? Tony looked utterly betrayed as he emitted a noise that Steve didn’t think humans could make. “…Tony?”
“YOU’VE NOTICED!?” the shorter man shrieked out.
“Yes, why does that matter and why are you reaching decibels only dogs can hear?” Steve asked incredulously. Tony sighed more heavily than their three children combined as Steve patiently waited for him to continue.
“Because Steven…you’re still so fucking hot and–”
“–you’re still hot?” Steve interrupted – utterly confused.
And it was here, here when Tony shifted.
It was subtle, a small flicker in his eyes that would’ve gone unnoticed to someone who didn’t know him better.
But there really was no one that knew him better.
“Baby…” Steve began gently as he closed the distance between the two. “Have you somehow forgotten what hot shit you are?” he smirked as his love snorted in laughter. The blonde took that opportunity to wrap his arms around his man once more.
“Did you not see the headlines, Steve? ‘From Iron Man to Puddy Man.’ I’m fat and old and have grey hair and–”
“–since when do you give a shit about what magazines say?” Steve asked – again in disbelief. This was not the Tony he knew.
“Since they called me puddy man and what the hell do you mean you’ve noticed?” the shorter man asked defensively – though still staying in Steve’s arms. The blonde felt himself blush as he scrunched his face up in consideration.
“I see your naked body several times a day, how could I not notice changes?”
“Oh,” his love said as he finally pulled away from the blonde. “So you’ve just been silently watching my downfall?!”
“Tony, my love, what is really going on here?” Steve asked sincerely, wanting to push past the dramatics.
“I told you, I’m old!” the genius whined at him. Steve stared at the man for a few seconds before responding.
“…and?”
“And?! It’s gross! I’m gross!” Tony threw his head back again and groaned at the ceiling.
Apparently he wasn’t getting past the dramatics.
“Tony, my beloved, light of my life, man of my dreams, you are not gross. You are just as sexy and handsome as the day I met you…” Steve said as he reached his hand out, only to be swatted away by his childish husband.
“Lies!” Meryl Streep shouted before he walked over and fell face down onto their bed. Steve rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in exasperation before walking over to join him.
“Anthony. We promised not to lie to each other, and I am not lying to you, you ridiculous man child.” Said grown-ass man-child love-of-his-life just ‘humphed’ into the comforter in response. “You wanna know why I was so upset that you dyed your hair?”
“Cause I’m not being myself?” the genius sarcastically repeated back to Steve. It earned a smack on his ass from the blonde as he steeled himself to answer truthfully.
“That’s the main part, yes, but part of it…might have been for my own selfish reasons,” he admitted with pink cheeks he was glad his husband couldn’t see. But then the mind-reading asshole turned around to look him in the eye.
Steve sealed his lips together as Tony rearranged himself on his side and faced Steve with a clear ‘go on’ expression.
The downside of having a soul mate who’s mind you could read – they could kinda read yours as well.
“I…love your grey hairs,” Steve muttered while Tony’s expression turned skeptical. “And…if I’m being honest with you…I also love your extra pounds…” he smiled as his husband’s face turned from confused to pure offended.
“Oh my god Steven! Do you have some kind of…fat old man fetish?!” Tony asked as he sat up in shock.
“No, Tony! Jesus…”
“Just because we were both recently named ‘hottest GILFs’...”
“Tony! That’s not. It.”
“Well then?” the genius demanded as Steve felt his face and neck blush in embarrassment.
“It’s just…” Steve began, trying to play it off like it’s nothing…and proceeded to mumble out the rest of his statement.
“I’m old and hard of hearing, can you speak up please?” Tony asked as Steve bit his lip. The super soldier took a breath before confessing.
“Fine Tony...the ‘extra pounds’ you speak of? Yes, I’ve noticed them, because...baby...they went straight to your ass. Just when I thought your peach couldn’t be any plumper…” he trailed off for a moment before he got a little more serious, “and yes, I want you to have your natural hair because I love when you are confident in yourself. But maybe, also…your grey hairs remind me of a sex dream I had where you were a professor and I was your student that wanted extra credit…”
“What?” his husband squeaked out as Steve regained control of his confidence.
“Baby, you are just as hot – if not a little hotter” he admitted, feeling a full-body shiver overcome him as he continued, “with a somehow juicier ass I might add,” the blonde admitted as he crawled over and pushed the man down to straddle him, “than when I first laid eyes on your beautiful,” he added a kiss to the man’s cheek, “stubborn,” a kiss to his neck, “short,” a kiss and a bite to that special spot on his husband’s shoulder, “sexy” he growled out and returned to the man’s plump lips, “ass,” he finished, quickly moving his hands to squeeze the very cheeks he was describing.
He let Tony laugh for another second, never growing tired of it, before stealing the sound with his lips.