Serenity

            We shared a few soft glances and even a chuckle as we prepared to exit the tiny space. Bucky took my hand, leading me out and back into the club space. We were stopped as we made our way through the throng of open loungers currently occupied by club participants in the throes of various, um, things.

            “Excuse me sir,” the smartly dressed man addressed Bucky, never even acknowledging me.

            Bucky never released my hand, though he did pull me closer and slightly behind his body. I knew he was attempting to shield me in case things went south, but I didn’t get that vibe from the man who stopped us so I lightly squeezed Bucky’s hand as I shifted my stance to be near him.

            Bucky stopped, and even from my viewpoint slightly off to his side I could see he was giving the new guy the infamous Bucky-Murder-Death Glare.

            It was practically a trademarked term within the compound.

            “You and your wife have been invited to attend the exclusive activities hosted in a more private location should you choose to attend.” Smart Suit Guy produced a box with two bracelets like those things they provide in amusement parks. These were sleek and black with a metal strand intricately woven around part of the material. “This invitation extends to the remainder of this evening and, of course, tomorrow as well should you return.”

            Bucky relaxed, well, as much as Bucky can relax in public, as he nodded and took the bracelets from the man. “Thank you,” Bucky replied, never taking his eyes from Smart Suit Guy. “Where?” Bucky asked him, keeping his question simple and his tone even.

            Smart Suit Guy gave Bucky a slight nod as the hint of a smirk appeared across his lips. Undoubtedly the man assumed Bucky was eager to get down to business.

            And by business, I mean sexy times.

            “Follow me, sir.” With that, the man turned and led us past the open loungers, around a dance floor, through a space littered with booths and tables, and down a corridor lined with rooms where numerous activities occurred.

            I glanced inside one. It was definitely one of our no boxes from the survey.

            Bruce was right about one thing. Most people were there simply to watch. Others were clearly there to perform, while some were obviously swept up in the moment and found themselves riding an erotic wave with the surroundings.

            I could certainly relate to the last one. This place had a what happens at Serenity stays at Serenity type of vibe.

            We finally arrived at our destination as the hall opened to a space that looked very much like an old-fashioned movie theatre, complete with neon lights, ticket booth box office, and a marquee. It was huge and looked like it belonged outside despite the fact that we were still very much indoors.

            “We scan your bracelets at the ticket booth, then you may enter.”

            Neither Bucky nor I spoke.

            “Will there be any additional questions?” Smart Suit Guy asked.

            “No,” Bucky answered, again keeping his words simple and his tone even. “Thank you.”

            He did manage to soften the Bucky-Murder-Death-Glare.

            Smart Suit Guy nodded once, then turned to leave us.

            “How big is this place?” Bucky asked as he subtly looked around.

            There were guests milling about, though noticeably fewer back here. Some gathered in small groups of four to six around tables near an old fashioned looking bar, while others walked in front of the theatre façade, pointing to old movie posters.

            I tried my own hand at a Bucky-Murder-Death-Glare when a tall blonde with more plastic parts than Barbie walked by, giving Bucky an overt up-down. When he made no effort to return her gaze, her eyes slid to me, then our still joined hands before she settled her cool gaze back on me again.

            I don’t think she was intimidated by my glare. I’d need to work on it.

            Bucky glanced back to me and I dropped my glare immediately. “It’s like the TARDIS,” I said, pretending that I was looking around the entire time and not eye-murdering the hot blonde.

            “The what?” Bucky half laughed his question.

            “You know…Doctor Who and that blue box. The TARDIS.”

            He looked at me, his expression one of curiosity and amusement.

            “Time. And. Relative. Dimension. In. Space,” I offered, writing the first letter of each word in the air. “TARDIS.”

            I blinked, my eyes widening. “Oh my God, you’ve never seen Doctor Who.” I shook my head. “You of all people need to watch it.”

            Bucky nodded as he pulled me closer to his body. “I’ll put it on my list, doll.” He kissed my forehead and I smiled as I beamed up at him. “You ready for this?”

            I exhaled. “As I’ll ever be,” I said softly. “Why did we get an invite so fast?” I asked, curious.

            “I have no idea,” Bucky said as we made our way to the faux ticket booth, “but let’s take advantage of it. With any luck we can get this place mapped out and the team can hit tonight.” Bucky spoke softly so that I had to strain to hear him. “Stay focused, Z. Remember everything.”

            Bucky’s tone flipped a switch in me; now I was in work mode. It was time to put everything that had just happened in a little box, squish it down, and I could re-examine it later. As soon as our bracelets were scanned, a doorman appeared to allow us entry.

            “Mr. and Mrs. Bonham, welcome,” he said jovially as he swept us inside the theatre. “Each cinema explores a different theme, and there are numerous public and private areas throughout. Some rooms are better suited for exhibitionists, while others are more voyeuristic. Some give the feeling of privacy but the mirrors or curtains do offer some visibility for others to enjoy the show.”

            My face flamed at his statement. Had Bucky and I been in one of those rooms? Were the mirrors silvered on one side and transparent on the other? My heartbeat felt like it tripled.

            Bucky lightly squeezed my hand. Obviously he was wondering the same thing right now.

            “Feel free to peruse at your leisure,” the doorman said, completely unaware of the internal battle raging inside me.

            Bucky and I both expressed our thanks as we made our way from the entrance to the bar area. Bucky ordered two drinks, turning to me as he pulled me close to him. To others, it looked as if we were two lovers who simply couldn’t keep our hands off each other. In reality, we were using the closeness to have quiet conversations.

            “The mirrors—“ I started to speak.

            Bucky swallowed as his eyes scanned my face. He looked nervous. “I know doll, I’m sorry…it never occurred to me.”

            I shook my head before closing my eyes and dropping my chin. When I looked back up at him, his eyes still held wariness. I shrugged my shoulder, smiling softly. “We don’t know anything for sure…but it would explain why we were fast tracked here,” I snickered the last part. I was feeling a bit hysterical with the realization that people likely watched us as Bucky punished me, and then later as I gave him a freaking blowjob.

            I laughed again, stifling the nervous giggle with the back of my hand.

            Bucky shared my laugh with a slight chuckle of his own. “You okay, doll?”

            I nodded. And I was okay. And oddly I realized I didn’t regret any of it, whether it was a private show or an unintentional public viewing.

            We took our drinks and made our way through the theatre, stopping to view the rooms, taking in features and hidden doorways. We spent a fair amount of time enjoying each other as well, and I reminded myself it was a mission, we needed to blend in, and making out like horny teenagers was the only way to blend in around here.

            But every time Bucky’s thumb would graze just under my shirt or his fingertips would find their way beneath my waistband I would feel my nipples pebble and my heart rate increase.

            “Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’, doll?”

            Probably not, given that my current train of thought had me focused on my nipples and the heat blossoming in my underwear.

            I glanced around the cinema we were presently examining, spotting the almost perfectly hidden doorway in the dim light. There were six couples nearby, and while they each seemed involved with each other, there was a strange detachment too.

            They were security. That door would very likely lead to Garner’s lab.

            Jackpot.

            “I think you’re right,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing him to spin me so we could get a better view of the room.

            “There’s more security in here than any other cinema,” I said as I looked up with half lidded eyes.

            It was hard to focus with Bucky trailing kisses down my neck, but we couldn’t just stand in the open gaping like loons and counting threats, so we did what other people were doing…we made out to cover our observations.

            “I count six up top,” I said between kisses. I moved my lips from his mouth to his throat, allowing him an opportunity to tilt his head up and assess the balcony area.

            Bucky hissed when I scraped my teeth at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, lightly bucking his hips at the sensation. I smiled against his flesh.

            “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to stay focused on this mission, sweetheart?” He rasped.

            My smile widened as I drew back from his chest so I could look him in the eye. We had our intel, we knew what room we needed and roughly where to access the labs. We could have one last fling before leaving Serenity. What’s the harm?

            “I have some idea how hard it is,” I said coyly, feeling oddly bold as I drug my palm down and over his erection.

            Bucky’s gaze darkened and I barely had a chance to register my change in position as he spun me so that my back was against a wide wooden column in the middle of the cinema. I was facing the large screen that played various hard-core and soft-core porn scenes.

            “Bucky,” I gasped his name as he kicked my feet apart, wedging his thigh between my legs.

            My nipples tightened even more at his growled response; they felt like they were on fire given the attention Bucky had lavished on them earlier.

            “Fucking hell, Z,” Bucky breathed against my neck as he yanked me across his thigh. “You get me so worked up I could come in my pants like a damn teenager.” He chuffed out a mirthless laugh before pulling back to rest his forehead against mine.

            “What I wouldn’t give to bend you over that bar and sink into you just like those two,” Bucky said, gesturing with his chin to the couple currently going at it like rabbits on one side of the bar.

            Others stood nearby, watching the couple, some masturbating each other, some just touching themselves.

            It was surreal and too much all at once. I screwed my eyes shut in an attempt to squelch the heat inside me. When I opened them again, I found Bucky staring at me, staring into my soul.

            He yanked me again, dragging my core roughly against his flexed thigh, eliciting a moan from me. I fisted my hands on his shoulders, desperately seeking leverage.

            “I’m gonna make you come, kitten. Would you like that? Out here, in the middle of this room…I’m gonna make you come while you ride my thigh, baby. Just how you like it.”

            I whimpered, my breath catching in my throat as he bounced his leg. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the wooden column, relishing the feeling of being surrounded by Bucky as my ears took in the animalistic sounds of the people around us.

            “What’s your color, baby?” Bucky whispered in my ear.

            I opened my eyes as he pulled back, seeing his silent question reflected in the sea of blue.

            Is this okay? He seemed to ask.

            “Green,” I smiled as I slid one hand into his hair, dragging my nails along his scalp as I arched my back toward him, desperately seeking even more contact with him.

            “Good girl,” he commended before returning his lips to mine as he pressed me against his thigh. “So good,” he whispered in my ear.

            “You fucking smell like me,” he said, emphasizing the last word with a sharp roll of his hips as he moved me down his thigh.

            I knew what he was really saying. I smelled like sex, like the very essence of him…and I liked it. I moaned as I rolled my head back, leaving Bucky to continue licking, sucking, and occasionally nipping at my neck. I knew he was marking me, and normally that kind of thing would bother me, but this time I wanted as many physical reminders of this evening as I could collect. This time I encouraged it.

            My eyes fluttered to the screen behind Bucky, the white cloth filled with imagery. I realized the scenes were from inside the club, and absently thought they should include those in the advertising paraphernalia because, whoa, they were steamy.

            My breath hitched as Bucky grabbed my ass, roughly pulling me across his thick thigh. “Come for me sweetheart; the sounds you’re makin’ are drivin’ me crazy.” Bucky’s voice was low and rough. He sounded like pure sex. I could hear the strain in his expression; he was barely holding himself together.

            That realization alone pushed me over the edge. I had my very first, fully clothed public orgasm.

            And it was pretty damn intense.

            I cried out, unable to control my response, and Bucky slanted his lips over mine, engulfing me as he encouraged me to ride out my ecstasy. I shuddered in his embrace as my breathing returned to normal and he kissed the flesh across my jaw and down my neck.

            I opened my eyes as he undoubtedly made yet another mark, and my breath froze in my lungs, my eyes widening as I stared straight ahead.

            “Bucky.” I said his name quietly; we had attracted a small crowd some distance away though they were already dispersing.

            I wanted to be embarrassed about that, but I had bigger fish to fry.

            Bucky immediately raised his head to look me in the eye. He sensed my change in demeanor and heard my tone shift.

            I met his eyes then flicked my chin up, silently telling him to look over his shoulder. He gingerly slid me down his leg, patting my behind in what was likely supposed to be a supportive gesture before turning to look behind him.

            I pushed the air from my lungs as more images filled the screen, then short videos played. My breath came faster then. Too fast. I was going to hyperventilate.

            There, on the screen, that huge-ass screen in the middle of a huge-ass room filled with a huge-ass number of people, were Bucky and I. I was on my knees giving him what looked like a fantastic blowjob judging by the expression on his face. If it had been anyone else, I would have said that was the hottest thing I’d ever seen…but it wasn’t anyone else. It was me and it was Bucky. And it was supposed to be private.

            Bucky turned to me then, his eyes a bit wild. He took in my countenance then schooled his features.

            “Damn it,” Bucky whispered loudly. “I’m sorry,” Bucky said, taking my head in his hands so that he could hold my face mere inches from his own. “Baby, I’m sorry…we scanned for cameras before. We didn’t find anything. I didn’t know—“

            I shook my head. “It’s okay, I mean…it’s not you. It’s just—“ I sighed. “It’s just really weird to see—that,” I gestured to the screen, though our scene had played through and someone else was now on screen.

            “We have everything we need, sweetheart,” Bucky soothed as he pulled me to him. “Let’s go. Let’s just go.”

            I nodded into his shoulder and he slid his hand into mine.

            “Try to remember everything you can about this place, baby. Okay?” He drawled as we slowly and methodically made our way back to the marquee.

            “Okay,” I said softly, barely resisting the urge to laugh. Like I could possibly forget anything about tonight. “We’re underground back here, aren’t we?” I asked as he went through the faux theatre lobby.

            Bucky nodded at my observation. “Good catch. That’s why it seems so much bigger.”

            “So it’s not a TARDIS,” I said, feigning my dejection.

            “’Fraid not, doll.”

            We casually made our way through the main club and called for our car. It took a maximum effort to remain calm as we exited, though we did play it off as needing some alone time.

            “We hope you enjoyed your anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Bonham,” the lady at the reception desk chirped.

            She was sultry and oozed sexuality in a way I never could. She probably wouldn’t bat an eye about being on screen with some guy literally balls deep in her business. She gave Bucky the up-down too, but I didn’t even try my own Murder-Death-Glare. I was resigned to my fate. I would never be sultry enough to feel okay with having the world see me going down on someone, and I would never be able to pull off a good Murder-Death-Glare.

            Some people have it, and some people don’t.

            “Thanks,” Bucky said in response with one curt nod.

            She gave me a quick glance when she’d finally finished eye-fucking Bucky.

            What I did next was petty, but I couldn’t help it.

            “Wait,” I said, stopping Bucky in his tracks before we exited the room that would lead us to the front doors and out of the club.

            “What’s wrong sugar?” Bucky asked, turning to face me fully as he cupped my cheek.

            God he was sweet.

            I smiled nervously as I looked up at him, not even caring that the receptionist lady was watching us with rapt attention right now.

            Well, I mean I cared a little bit…I actually did want to rub her nose in the fact that Bucky was mine.

            For tonight anyway.

            Once we walked through those front doors, the spell would be broken. This part of the mission would be over, Bucky and I would go through debriefing, tactical would begin as soon we were finished…then it would be business as usual.

            And I knew I would need some time to decompress from this. From Bucky. From my own broken heart.

            “One more kiss before we go?” I asked, my voice small.

            Bucky’s expression softened and his smile crinkled his eyes. “Of course,” he said softly as he pulled me to him. “Anything for my girl.”

            My heart nearly exploded at the sentiment. I held my breath as I waited for his lips to meet mine. He was gentle at first, chastely placing his lips to mine, then lightly pressing his lips against first my top, then bottom lip in pillow soft touches. He swiped his tongue across my lower lip and I opened for him, enjoying the easiness of this affection. This was a kiss I would come back to in my memories.

            When he pulled away I was breathless and filled with emotion.

            It was getting harder and harder to squash my feelings into a ball. In fact, I wasn’t having much success with it at all.

            Couple that with the tender looks he sent my way and I was downright struggling.

            “Ready?” he asked as he cupped the back of my head, placing his forehead against mine.

            I waited a heartbeat or three before answering. Was I ready? No. When we walked through those doors, this was over, and I most definitely wasn’t ready for that.

            But I never would be.

            I nodded despite my internal war, and spared a glance at the receptionist as Bucky turned to lead us out of the building.

            That confident, sultry look was gone at least. She looked a little forlorn herself.

            You and me both, sister, I thought to myself. You and me both.

            Debriefing was remarkably fast, occurring as soon as we arrived back at our suite. Steve and the team were eager to get this win for T’Challa, and I was happy to have helped. I know Bucky felt indebted to Wakanda and would always do his best to help the land and people he had grown to love. He volunteered to go in with the tactical team and Steve approved it. I, however, opted to stay behind given that tactical was definitely not my milieu.

            Nat met me in my closet as I prepared to change clothes, giving me that damn trademarked single brow arch she does oh so well.

            “What?” I hissed as I gracelessly kicked off my equestrian boots.

            She continued getting herself ready as we prepared for what would undoubtedly be an awkward conversation. “I see Bucky left his mark. Or marks,” she smirked.

            I shot up, hazarding a glance in the mirror. Good lord, and I’d just sat through a debriefing with Steve and the team while looking like a leopard. My face flamed as my blush crawled to my cheeks and even covered my chest.

            “Oh my God…Bucky,” I whisper hissed his name.

            Not that I was mad. It was just that seeing his mark on me did funny things to my insides. I was already half dreading seeing them fade while simultaneously needing the reminder to weaken.

            The next few weeks were going to be a bitch.

            “So,” Nat peered at my reflection. “Did you—“

            “I did not fuck him, Nat,” I whispered. Bucky was in the closet across the bathroom, after all.

            I left out the part where I gave him a blowjob. And the part where he finger fucked me until I came. Oh, and the part where I rode his thigh until I had yet another orgasm.

            “Boo,” Natasha said nonchalantly. “Bruce wins.”

            Judging by her smile I had a feeling she and Bruce were both winning either way with this particular bet.

            I shimmied out of my beloved equestrian pants and made quick work of tucking my ruined undies in the pocket before Nat could give me the third degree. I slipped on some fresh garments before sliding into my absolute favorite jeans and toasty warm sweater.

            I kept my bra on, though…God knows what my nipples looked like after Bucky’s punishment.

            And heaven help me, just thinking about that punishment filled my core with lava.

            Nat and I stood in front of the mirror, each of us making sure we were presentable. We stood in stark contrast to one another. Nat looked deadly in her black tactical suit, while I looked like I might spend an evening reading Pride and Prejudice while sipping hot cocoa in my faded jeans and off white sweater. Her red hair was pulled back while my dark hair was down and wavy thanks to the French braid it had been in all night.

            “You look cute,” she said as she smacked my ass and opened the door.

            “Well…you look deadly,” I said as I smacked her ass right back, making my way to the sink so I could wash my face.

            I looked toward the other closet, noting the open door. Bucky was apparently finished getting ready and was likely in the living room prepping with the team. Natasha cornered me at the vanity as I rinsed and dried my face.

            “You need to talk to him about your feelings, Z,” Nat said softly as she leaned against the marble. She looked better, her wound healing remarkably well if she was feeling ready for a mission. She wouldn’t be in on the physical side of things this go round, but still.

            “What do you mean?” I replied dumbly.

            She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she gave me her best don’t play this game gesture.

            I sighed and dropped my shoulders in defeat. “I know. I will.”

            Later. Not tonight. Not any time soon, I thought to myself.

            We nodded to each other as we made our way into the living room, which had quickly become an operational headquarters and ready room over the last two hours.

            My eyes found Bucky almost immediately, and he came to stand close to me as Steve spoke about the mission. The goal was to apprehend Garner and as many of his people as possible, while also securing as much of the product and equipment as we could.

            “Hey,” Bucky said softly, grasping my elbow with his hand, “I need to talk to you when we get this finished, okay?” He looked serious and intense. It could be because of what he wanted to say to me, but it could also be mission related. Maybe both.

            I nodded. “Sure,” I replied casually.

            The team was already making their way through the room, gathering their supplies. Bucky slid his hand down my arm as I turned my hand up. Our palms touched as our fingertips slid over each other’s hands before pulling away.

            “I’ll see you soon,” Bucky said, smiling, as he made his way back to the team.

            I nodded my agreement, not trusting myself to speak, then made my way to Steve as soon as Bucky’s back was turned.

            I felt terrible about what I was getting ready to do, but I had to do it. I cornered Steve, herding him into the closet so I could explain to him why I needed some personal time, and why I needed him to keep my current breakdown to himself. I was a blubbery mess and I’d undoubtedly shocked him with my emotional outburst but I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

            All those feelings I’d squashed down came bubbling up to the surface and I was about ten seconds away from blowing snot bubbles.

            “Hey, whoa, sweetheart,” Steve soothed as he hugged me tight. “Take whatever time you need. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he repeated as he held my head to his chest.

            I pulled away, wiping my eyes and nose with my sleeve in a most unladylike manner before gasping at his uniform. Great, I’d tear stained Captain America’s uniform.

            I wiped at it with my other sleeve. The one that didn’t have snot on it.

            Steve took both my hands in his, halting my motion altogether and forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You need to talk to him at some point, Z. You both have things to hash out.”

            I nodded. “I just need time, Cap.”

            “Take all the time you need, kid,” he said as he squeezed my hands. “You know protocol. Reach out when you settle, let me know what’s going on—“

            “Promise me you won’t tell anyone where I am or why I’m—“ I stopped speaking as I felt a fresh wave of tears brewing.

            “I promise. You have my word. But Z,” Steve said sternly, “I don’t like this. You guys should talk about this sooner rather than later.”

            I nodded. “I know,” I said dejectedly. “I just need time Steve.”

            He nodded before squeezing my shoulder, kissing the top of my head, then turned to leave. “Remember, reach out as soon as you can.”

            “I will.”

            And with that, he was gone.

            I stood in the closet with my arms wrapped around myself until I heard nothing, then I slid down the wall and cried.

            After some time I managed to get myself together, packed my ready bag, and I left.