Serenity

            Two weeks later I sat in a bar in New York toying with a burner phone. I’d already contacted Steve via his encrypted line the moment I landed, he knew where I was and that I was safe. He’d filled me in on the mission, pleased that it was a success and beyond thrilled that T’Challa was happy. Apparently they wanted Bucky and I to attend some sort of ceremony in Wakanda, but that would definitely have to wait.

            I was still licking my wounds, after all.

            Steve started to elaborate on the rest of the team and I stopped him. “Not yet, Steve,” I’d told him. It was still too soon.

            He graciously let it go though I could tell he didn’t want to.

            I wanted to reach out to Nat, hence the burner phone. I’d entered and erased her number more times than I’d like to admit before sliding it on the bar to signal for another drink.

            That’s right, I was day drinking.

            Sort of. I was drinking light beer and I’d only had the one so far, but I’d eaten at least a metric ton of rice at the Mexican restaurant down the block so I had absolutely zero chance of getting any buzz.

            “Honey,” the grizzled bartender said as he slid my second light beer in front of me, “just call him. It’ll either work out or it won’t, but you’re tearing yourself up inside and you’ll wear out your phone.” He winked as he walked away.

            I smiled as I tipped back my bottle, though my smile definitely didn’t reach my eyes.

            I took my phone in hand as I entered Nat’s number again, finally hitting send. It went straight to voicemail, as expected given that she wouldn’t recognize my number, so I left a message for her and waited for her return call.

            Said call came in less than a minute later.

            “It’s about damn time,” she growled on the line.

            “I missed you too, sweetie,” I cooed.

            “Bucky is about to lose his shit, Z.”

            Well, that was quite the opener.

            “What do you mean?” I asked, sitting up straighter.

            “I mean he and Steve have been fighting; he is demanding to know where you are. He left Z. He’s looking for you.”

            Good lord that sounded so ominous. I wasn’t afraid of Bucky, but I certainly didn’t want him mad at me either. He’s not exactly the type of person you want to piss off. He had no reason to be upset with me; I was the one who needed time to get my act together so we could all be a team again.

            “Relax, he won’t find me, Nat,” I replied calmly despite my jitters.

            She let out a mirthless chuckled. “Have you met Bucky? He will find you, Z.”

            I held my breath as I absently picked at the label on my bottle.

            “Where are you?”

            I sighed. “I’m…I’m somewhere he’d never look, Nat. I’m—“ I looked up. “I’m in the last place on earth he would look.”

            She chuffed out a breath as she picked up on my code.

            “I’ll be there in an hour,” she said before disconnecting the call.

            “See you later, Chuck,” I said as I tossed some money on the bar.
            “Good luck, honey,” he replied as he wiped down the well-worn wood I’d come to appreciate at the Terminal Bar.

            I made my way up the stairs just outside the entrance. When I’d first graduated SHIELD academy, I’d rented one of the two apartments above the bar. It was tiny but clean, and I had an actual one-bedroom unit, complete with a small kitchen, a living room, and a bedroom with an actual door…which is saying a lot in New York. My bathroom was miniscule and had only a small shower stall, but it was enough for me and my barely over five-foot frame. Most importantly, the apartment was rent controlled, so I’d kept up the lease.

            Natasha knew about my apartment because she’d vetted me for Fury. Then again, Natasha had a way of knowing everything anyway, so she likely would have found it on her own whether Fury had given her the details or not. She was just wired that way.

            I opened my fridge to find a bottle of wine and not much else. If Nat wanted food, we’d need to go out.

            True to her word, she was on my doorstep in an hour. We hugged, I cried, I told her what I’d told Steve before I left Ireland, and then I cried some more.

            Glad to see all those squashed feelings were still resurfacing.

            “Look, I don’t know what to tell you but—“ she looked around the room, a nervous habit she rarely entertained, “you’ve gotta talk to Bucky. And you should probably do it at the compound. He’s—“

            My brow furrowed.

            “I’ve seen Bucky pretty bad before, Z. This is bad. Like, Winter Soldier bad.”

            I opened and closed my mouth several times as I considered what to say. “I don’t understand. Why is he so…upset?”

            Natasha’s eyes rounded. “Obviously you two have a lot to talk about. Come home. I don’t like you being out here by yourself.”

            I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine. No one knows about this place but you and Fury. Not even Steve knows.”

            She gave me her own Murder-Death-Glare. It was almost as good as Bucky’s. Almost.

            “I just need a little more time, Nat,” I hedged.

            The last thing I wanted was to try to talk to Bucky about my feelings for him while I was still a sniveling mess.

            Her expression never faltered.

            I heaved a breath through my nose. “Monday. Okay? I’ll report back on Monday.”

            That gave me one last weekend to get my shit together.

            Nat seemed somewhat appeased by my acquiescence. “I still don’t like you being out here alone.”

            She took in the windows in the living room, then peeked around to the lone window in the bedroom. “I could stay.”

            “No. Bruce needs you, Nat. Go home,” I urged. “I’ll be back on Monday. Honest.” I shrugged my shoulder. “Let Steve know for me?”

            She nodded as she made her way to the door. “Monday,” she repeated as she arched a brow at me. The expression was clear: Show up Monday, or I’ll come back here and kick your ass before dragging it back to the compound.

            I nodded. “Thanks for checking on me Nat,” I said as we finished our goodbyes.

            I sank down on my sofa, kicking off my shoes as I aimlessly searched the internet. I watched a few shows then opted for bed. Blessedly, sleep came easily for me given I had a belly full of carbs and two beers.

            The next morning I decided to make a bad thing worse by walking my soon-to-be chubby ass down to the corner bakery so I could snag a dozen doughnuts. I decided I would eat them all today.

            Why?

            Because apparently I hated myself and wanted to make my return to life at the compound as miserable as possible by getting out of shape and gaining ten pounds as fast as possible.

            By the time I’d returned back to my apartment, I’d already eaten three doughnuts. The chocolate covered kind.

            I, too, liked to live dangerously.

            I slid the box containing the remaining nine doughnuts across the countertop with my one clean hand, reaching for a towel so I could wipe the chocolate from my other.

            I jumped, squealing, as a metal hand shot out and grabbed my wrist before I could tear off the paper towel.

            I was twisted around abruptly so I could face the owner of said hand, though I already knew whom I would see.

            “Bucky,” I huffed. “What the fuck? You scared me to death!”

            Bucky held my gaze for what felt like forever before looking me up and down. I felt like he was examining me for injuries. He never said anything to me and didn’t respond to me in any way.

            Now I know why Nat mentioned the whole Winter Soldier thing. Bucky seemed off…in a bad, bad way.

            “We should talk,” I said, though he made no effort to release me or even acknowledge my suggestion.

            We held each other’s gaze for at least another full minute, neither of us speaking. I somehow knew enough not to struggle against him, so I didn’t fight him as he held my wrist.

            When he finally released me, I turned to finish wiping the chocolate from my hand, hiding my face from him for a moment in an effort to collect myself. When I turned back, he as standing with his arms crossed surveying my apartment instead of looking at me.

            “You have no food,” he said, his voice monotone.

            I glanced at the counter. “I have nine doughnuts left,” I offered, stupidly thinking he might be hungry. “I have some wine.”

            Because, hey, it’s barely nine in the morning and wine goes well with doughnuts.

            “And I have some mints.”

            Oh God, please stop with the word vomit, I thought to myself. He doesn’t want an inventory of my pantry.

            He gave me some serious side eye, looking at me coldly.

            And hello Winter Soldier.

            That shut me up. I looked away as I mimicked his stance in the kitchen, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the counter that was perpendicular to him.

            “How did you—“ I nearly flinched when he turned that cold gaze fully back to me. “How did you find this place…only Fury and Nat—“

            He never changed his expression, but his eyes told me everything. His eyes said: I am the Winter Soldier. If I want to find you, I’ll find you. If I want in, I’ll get in.

            I sighed, the breath long and loud as I pushed it through my nose.

            “You have no security alarm. You have no heat. You have no bathtub—“

            “Bucky,” I interrupted him despite knowing it would result in the Murder-Death-Glare, “did you come here to scare me to death, talk, or give me a run down on my lack of amenities?”

            He stared at me for a long time before his gaze softened, though just marginally. “I was all over Europe,” he finally said.

            I cast my eyes down before looking back up at him again. “The weather is good this time of year.”

            And the Murder-Death-Glare was back.

            “You can’t seriously fucking think I was there for the weather,” he spat.

            “Do you want to fight and yell? Or do you want to talk, Bucky?” My tone surprised me. Hell, I think it surprised Bucky. “I can go either way. You choose.” I shrugged. Apparently, my adrenaline was getting the best of me. I doubt anyone ever invited the Winter Soldier to an argument before.

            I gestured to the living room when he didn’t speak, encouraging him to take a seat. He walked ahead of me, looking large as he took up an obscene amount of space in my modest apartment. He planted himself in the middle of the sofa, so I opted for the chair near the window so we could sort of face each other.

            He looked at me with that cold glare again before giving a partial headshake, then stared straight ahead.

            “You left,” he said simply. The monotone was back again.

            I pulled my feet up, making myself small in my already small chair.

            “I didn’t just leave, Bucky. I was overwhelmed. I ran—“

            “From me,” he finished.

            “I needed time to decompress from the mission, Bucky.”

            “From me,” he repeated.

            “No Bucky. I—“

            He stood abruptly. “You left; you ran from me!” He loomed over me. “Why?”

            I looked away from him then, choosing to look toward my bedroom instead. I soon found myself picked up out of my chair, my feet barely registering the change in position as Bucky unceremoniously placed me to stand in front of him.

            “You owe me that much. Why? I would have stopped anytime. You knew that.” The monotone was gone, and his expression was far from cold. He was angry and hurt.

            “Because I can’t do this,” I said, emphatically gesturing between us. “I can’t do what we were doing Bucky. I just can’t.” I reiterated.

            Bucky looked wild eyed and a bit stunned. “I see,” he said as he turned toward the door. “I—“ he hesitated. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

            My feet finally remembered how to work again. “Wait, Bucky, I—“

            His hand was on the doorknob when he turned back to me. “I never would have…I thought you—I thought we….” He didn’t finish his train of thought as he stared at me, preparing to leave.

            “How could you know, Bucky?” I asked, my eyes filling with tears though I fought to maintain control of my emotions. “Lots of people can have casual relationships…I’m just not wired that way.” I shrugged. “Then when I realized how I felt about you—“

            “How you feel about me?”

            I sighed. I’d walked right into that one.

            Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound. Might as well be entirely honest.

            I blew a breath through my mouth as if I were preparing to rip off a bandage, and in a way, I was. Maybe if I admitted this out loud I could finally start to move past it, start to heal.

            “I’m in love with you Bucky,” I said.

            I felt like I was going to throw up; I felt raw and vulnerable.

            Bucky just stared at me, dumbfounded. Clearly, he didn’t see that coming.

            “I ran because I couldn’t deal with the hurt of a one-sided relationship, and I couldn’t trust myself not to get into a casual, sexual relationship just to have some sort of connection with you.”

            When Bucky still didn’t respond, I took it as a cue to further explain myself.

            “I’m dealing with it, Bucky. I just needed some time to lick my wounds. I don’t want things to be weird with us, and I promised you they wouldn’t be. I can get through this…just give me time. I don’t want to lose you as my friend on top of everything else.”

            I swallowed as I wiped away an errant tear.

            I crossed my arms in front of me as I looked away, feeling exposed. I’d said everything I had to say; I’d said everything I could say. The ball was in his court. I wouldn’t ask him not to leave if he wanted to walk away, and I wouldn’t beg him to stay in my life.

            Bucky furrowed his brow as he narrowed his eyes at me, looking more like himself. “Can we—“ he gestured to the living room instead of finishing his question, and I nodded as I turned and made my way back to my chair.

            Before I could sit, however, he grasped my shoulders, ushering me to the sofa with him instead. I wasn’t sure the proximity was a good idea, but he wasn’t exactly yielding in his guidance either, so I sat as he sat, taking the spot he’d steered me toward, each of us turning a bit to better face each other.

            “I don’t think I was being clear during the mission,” Bucky started.

            I shook my head. “No, it’s not your fault. You had no idea how I felt about you,” I offered. I was already feeling less embarrassed about it. Heck, I might be all-better in a decade or three.

            Bucky’s eyebrows shot up high on his forehead. “Oh, you’re right about that…I had no idea.”

            “I’m sorry Bucky, I should have been honest from the beginning.”

            “No, I should have been clear from the beginning, Z.”

            I shook my head but he shushed me when he placed a hand on each side of my face, turning me to face him.

            “I’m not looking for casual, Z. I’m in love with you and I have been since well before this mission. Probably within a few months after you arrived at the compound….”

            I sat up straight, pulling my face from his grasp. “You never said anything.”

            “You never said anything either,” he defended.

            We stared at each other for a few seconds without speaking.

            “Are you…serious?” I asked incredulously.

            “Very much,” he replied quickly. “You can ask Sam or Steve if you need confirmation. They’ve been telling me to ‘go for it’ for months.” He finished, rolling his eyes as he shook his head.

            “Bucky, I’m—I’m so sorry. I never should have left Ireland without talking to you first. I just panicked.”

            He winced. “I would have liked that better. I wanted to tell you—I planned to tell you after the mission that night but—“ Bucky dropped his head, looking sad and ashamed. “I hope I didn’t ruin things at the compound.”

            I tilted my head in lieu of asking him to elaborate.

            “I kind of made everyone’s life a living hell before I took off for Europe looking for you.”

            I sighed as I recalled Nat’s worry.

            “I’m sure we can work it out with everyone,” I hedged. “You may need to suck up to them for a while, though…but I think they’ll just be happy to have you back to you.”

            “I was pretty horrible to Sam, but Steve…I said some awful stuff.”

            “I made him promise not to say anything Bucky.”

            Bucky made a troubled face before speaking. “And he never broke that promise, Z, no matter what I hurled at him.”

            I swallowed hard as I realized Bucky had gone off the deep end a bit. “Maybe we should talk to them together, hmm? I think this whole situation is really a team screw up,” I smiled as I took his hand in mine.

            Bucky finally smiled, his eyes crinkling. “That might help,” he shrugged. “I love you, Z,” he said suddenly and my heart constricted before booming, feeling enormous in my chest.

            “I love you too, Bucky,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him.

            He pulled me to him, scooting me onto his lap as he held me against his chest before lifting me so that I straddled him. “God, I missed my girl…I think I went a little dark for a while.”

            I smirked at him. “Natasha was worried.”

            Bucky dipped his head to drag his nose down my neck. I was beginning to realize he had a thing about scenting me.

            “Hey,” I said as I pulled away a bit. “How did you find this place, exactly?”

            Bucky looked sheepish for a nanosecond before confessing. “I mirrored Natasha’s phone. I knew you’d reach out to her eventually. When I saw the burner number I figured it was you. I tracked her phone to see where she went after the call ended…she came straight here.”

            My jaw dropped. “She is going to murder you, Bucky.”

            “Not if we can disable it and remove it before she finds out,” he quipped.

            “We should go…now. In fact, the sooner the better.” I started to roll off him but he held me to his body.

            His eyes darted past me to the bedroom though he returned his gaze to me quickly. “Maybe we could stay a while longer,” he said as a small smile played at his lips.

            I tilted my head as I returned his smirk. “Are you eyeing my bedroom, Sergeant Barnes?”

            Bucky’s smirk faded immediately, his face taking on a more dark but lustful look as his jaw clenched and unclenched. “Listen doll,” he ground out at least an octave lower, “we can go as fast or as slow as you need to go. I just want to be alone with you, just us, for a while…whether we are sleeping in that bed or I’m fucking you into that mattress—“

            My breath hitched at his words as wetness flooded my panties.

            “Because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep callin’ me that, sweetheart.”

            “Are you sure, Sergeant Barnes? I mean, I’ve been told my apartment is lacking in amenities, Sergeant Barnes. I would want to offend—“

            Bucky cut me off, his mouth on mine as his lips and tongue did wicked things to leave me breathless and wanton. I whimpered into him as he carried me to the bedroom, climbing on top of me as he laid me on the mattress.

            He ground himself against me, and even through my jeans and his clothing I could feel he was fully hard. I pushed back against him, earning a groan of approval.

            “Fuck,” he whispered and I had the distinct feeling he as talking to himself more than me. “I wanted our first time together to be something romantic for you, sweetheart,” he said between fevered kisses and aggressive touches. “Candles and all that—“ he continued as he nearly ripped my jeans open, rocking back on his haunches so he could pull them off completely in one long drag, along with my socks and shoes.

            I quickly pulled my sweater over my head, flinging it into the newly created pile of clothing on the floor. I unclasped my bra, tossing it into the same pile, leaving me completely bare beneath a fully clothed Bucky.

            Bucky’s eyes roamed every inch of my skin. Every freckle and mole, every scar. I felt naked in every sense of the word.

            “God, you are beautiful,” he breathed as he ran his hands reverently down my torso before roughly grasping my hips. “I know I should be gentle, baby, but I don’t think I can—“

            I pulled Bucky down to me, roughly grasping the front of the tactical jacket he still wore so that he had to catch himself on his forearms to avoid crushing me. “I’m not asking for gentle,” I said boldly as I found the zipper and tugged it down quickly. “Just fuck me, Sergeant Barnes,” I teased, thoroughly pleased by the nearly palpable hunger rolling off Bucky, “mark me, make me yours.”

            Bucky’s reaction was almost primal. He tore his jacket from his body and yanked his shirt over his head in that sexy one-handed way guys seem to master. I admired his muscled upper body as he sat upright to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. He paused after kicking off his boots, drawing my eyes up to his face only to find a sultry, knowing smirk.

            “Like what you see, sweetheart? You look like you’re gonna eat me alive,” he goaded as he hooked his thumbs around his pants and boxer briefs, prepared to remove everything in one move.

            “Don’t tempt me,” I said breathily as I sat up to nip at the skin on his abdomen. “I just might,” I finished as I lay back down before him, my hand snaking between my own thighs as I sought my own relief.

            Bucky’s eyes locked onto my hand between my legs and he quickly slapped it away. “Nuh-uh,” he said as he held it in his metal grasp. “Remember what I told you, sweetheart? ‘I control your pleasure.’ When you want to come, you tell me and I’ll make sure you come.”

            Bucky released my hand only to place his metal thumb on my clit. The coolness was startling and I gasped as I rolled my hips against him. He applied more pressure as he began rubbing my bundle of nerves in tight circles.

            “Have you been getting yourself off, kitten,” he asked as he took first my right then left nipple into his mouth, making me cry out.

            I arched my back off the bed as I continued to roll my hips. Bucky barely touched me and I was about to explode. “God yes,” I cried out as he made another circle before pressing into me again.

            “Really?” He asked, almost seemingly surprised by the admission. “Thinking of me?” He growled the question.

            I knew better than to tease him right now. Who knows what he might do if I jokingly mentioned Steve now.

            “Only you, baby, always.” I confessed as he pushed a thick finger inside me, followed by a second finger.

            He seemed pleased with my response, and he began curling his fingers inside me as he swirled his thumb in faster and smaller circles.

            “My girl. My good girl.”

            I literally whimpered at the sensations he was creating. My hands ghosted across my breasts, lightly pinching my nipples before I reached down to touch his hand between my thighs, silently urging him to continue.

            “Bucky, I’m close, baby,” I arched my back as I rolled my hips in an effort to garner more friction.

            “I’m gonna make sure you’re ready for me, baby,” Bucky promised as he positioned himself so that both of his knees were fully seated between my legs. He used his knees to spread my legs, baring me fully to him. When he was satisfied he returned to finger fucking me in earnest.

            “You ready to come for me, kitten?” Bucky asked before licking the flat of his tongue across my pebbled nipple.

            I whispered a chorus of agreements, nearly pleading with him.

            “Then come,” he urged as he curled his fingers into my g-spot, his thumb still pressing on my clit as he tightened his circling motion.

            My abs tightened as I nearly curled in on myself, every muscle in my body seemingly involved in the explosive orgasm. Bucky watched me through every wave, his blue eyes darkening to hint at the storm raging within himself.

            I could tell he was strung tight. He’d gotten me off to make sure I was plenty wet for him, and judging by the pornographic sounds coming from where his hand joined my body, I’d say it was mission accomplished.

            Bucky kissed me as my shockwaves died down and my breathing returned to some semblance of normal. It was more teeth and tongue than anything, and I knew Bucky’s tether was breaking.

            He hooked his thumbs over his pants and boxers, quickly divesting himself of the remainder of his clothing. We were both naked now, and it was my turn to stare.

            He dragged his hand down to my core, gathering the wetness he found there before coating himself, pumping his fully erect cock several times as he watched me watching him.

            “I would ask you if you’re sure, but I’m past the point of no return now, darlin’.” His voice was husky and dark with want…no, need. “This won’t be gentle,” he warned.

            And for some reason his cautionary notice ignited a new wave of heat in my core, my body pulsed with need as my nipples tightened painfully.

            Bucky slid his cock along the seam of my lower lips, gathering more wetness as he leaned down again to kiss me roughly. He kept most of weight off me by using his metal forearm, and used his flesh hand to position himself.

            My brain finally screamed in warning as our kiss ended with Bucky biting my lower lip.

            “Wait…wait—“ I cried out, and I could feel Bucky’s body tremble. It was taking a maximum effort for him to control himself this much. I idly thought that stopping altogether might kill the poor guy.

            “Maybe be a little easy at first, big guy,” I said nervously, glancing down where he held himself in position.

            Bucky’s cock was thick, and the idea of taking him down there all at once was a bit overwhelming.

            Bucky barely suppressed a smile, though he did manage to turn it into a sultry smirk. “I won’t hurt you baby,” he kissed me gently before pressing his forehead against mine.

            His hair tickled my cheeks.

            “I’ll give you time…but I will fuck you into this mattress,” he swore darkly.

            True to his word, Bucky did enter me slowly, going inch by inch just as he promised at the club. The fullness wasn’t uncomfortable, but it did border on pleasure-pain. I welcomed the sensation of being filled by this man.

            Once he was fully seated, we remained connected like that for several minutes as Bucky kissed me, taking the time to again mark my flesh.

            He seemed to have a primal need to see his marks on me.

            I rocked my hips, urging Bucky to move inside me when he roughly grasped my hip with his natural hand.

            “Don’t. Move.” He warned, biting the words out with a hiss. “Your pussy is so tight, and hot, and wet that I’m about to come inside you right now,” he growled, again nipping my bottom lip. “And I don’t want this to be over before we get started.”

            I nodded my agreement, waiting for his cue.

            When he finally moved, my head rolled back on my pillow and I mewled at the loss. Every thrust had me crying out. Bucky was anything but gentle as he found his bearings, and I was loving it.

            “You feel so fucking good around me sweetheart,” his voice barely more than a beastly growl. He continued saying filthy things to me, as his thrusts grew more erratic. The bed had scooted against the wall and was making terrible noises against the floor and wall, but I was too enthralled with all things Bucky to care.

            Suddenly he hitched first one knee up, closer to my chest, then the other. The change in position had him bottoming out inside me; reaching even deeper than before and I swore I could actually feel his cock growing thicker and harder within me. I cried out as I came around him without warning, my core fluttering as I squeezed Bucky’s hardness.

            Bucky’s feral grunt was the only hint that he, too, had reached his peak as his hips ceased their punishing rhythm. As his thrusts slowed somewhat, he ground his pubic bone against my clit, eliciting yet another orgasm.

            Bucky shuddered and hissed in pleasure as I involuntarily tightened around him, riding my wave through.

            “Fuck,” he drawled as he slowly rolled his hips against me again, my walls clenching and unclenching around his thickness. “So good to me, baby,” he praised me as his lips found mine.

            Our kiss was nothing like the wild, wanton sex we’d just experienced. Bucky’s lips pressed softly to mine as he worshipped me with his mouth, occasionally pausing so we could continue to catch our breaths or whisper words of adoration to each other.

            I loved this man, and he loved me. That much was clear. Everything else could be worked out later.

            “I didn’t hurt you did I, sweetheart?” Bucky asked as he smoothed my hair away from my sweaty face.

            I shook my head, doing the same for him while earning a small smile. He was still inside me, still looming over me, his body weight a heavy pleasantness though his hardness had dissipated somewhat.

            “You were perfect, Bucky. That was—“ I closed my eyes, lightly shaking my head as I realized I was truly at a loss for words.

            “I’m glad you liked it, doll.” Bucky kissed a across my jaw until he reached my ear, then lightly nipped at my earlobe. “Let’s get you in a warm shower so you don’t get too sore, then I’ll kiss it and make it all better.”

            I hummed my appreciation, though the idea of showering seemed awfully taxing.

            I shifted as Bucky rolled off me, realizing he was right about another thing…I was definitely going to feel the results of our coupling for days. I already ached, but in a most delicious way that had me eager for more of the pleasurable fullness and intensity that Bucky delivered.

            I made my way to the bathroom, donning Bucky’s shirt he had haphazardly tossed onto the floor. When I came out again, I snickered at his huge frame taking up my entire full size bed.

            I warned Bucky he likely wouldn’t be able to use the shower without crouching, and he lamented that everything in my apartment was hobbit sized.

            Apparently he and Steve were in the middle of The Lord of the Rings series.

            I managed to shower and Bucky snuck out to get us some food. We stayed in for the night, talking and continuing to explore each other, both physically and mentally. We decided we would face the team together the next day.

            The next morning came sooner than I’d like to admit, and I was definitely feeling the effects of Bucky’s attention. I hadn’t been with anyone in, well, a long time, and Bucky certainly wasn’t always temperate. He never hurt me, but he often skirted the boundaries of my physical limits and I knew it was in large part due to the serum. My body was spent, but I craved more of him. I’d just have to get accustomed to him, and I looked forward to that particular challenge.

            As soon as I could walk straight again.

            And sit without cringing.

            Did I mention I was sore? ‘Cause my lady parts, hips, and thighs were killing me. And my ass might actually be at least three shades of red rather than the ten he’d threatened at Serenity.

            He pulled me against himself as we prepared to leave my apartment and head to the compound, kissing me deeply before pulling away to bury his nose in my hair behind my ear. I laughed softly as his ticklish touch.

            “Why are you always smelling me? Do I stink?” I laughed as I crinkled up my nose when I pulled away from him.

            “God no,” he said, laughing right along with me. “My scent is all over you, doll, and I love it.”

            I furrowed my brow as I narrowed my eyes. “Of course I smell like you. We’ve been all over each other and my bed is tiny. We haven’t been more than a nanometer apart in twenty four hours.”

            “It’s more than that.” He hedged, appearing unsure as to how to continue. “Being able to scent you like that, it’s…primal,” he narrowed his eyes to drive his point home. “I used to turn the air conditioning way down on movie nights so you’d need my hoodie…then our scents would be mingled,” he confessed, my eyebrows going high on my forehead. “Now that I’ve been inside you, it’s obvious you’re mine.”

            The gleam in his eye said he’d do it all again.

            My smile faded at Bucky’s confession. It sounded so primal and animalistic…and weirdly hot.

            “I think my girl likes being marked as much as I like marking her, hmmm?” He drawled.

            I nodded.

            An hour later we prepared to leave the apartment again, and I vowed I would not get sidetracked by the super hot super soldier shadowing my every move. His hand stayed almost chastely on my knee the entire ride home, only occasionally veering toward my inner thigh.

            We brought mountains of food back to the compound with us, laying out a veritable Mexican buffet as we offered our combinations of thanks and apologies to the gang. The food virtually guaranteed Sam’s quick forgiveness, and even Steve seemed to be willing to let everything go. I knew he and Bucky would need to discuss whatever happened between them privately, but I also knew they had a strong relationship and could work through this fallout.

            Natasha was a wildcard. She was very hard to read and I didn’t know if she would try to murder Bucky in his sleep later this evening or not.

            “How did you find her, Barnes?” she asked confidently.

            Bucky sighed beside me and I clasped his hand. I knew he was going to confess everything, and I knew Natasha would be pissed.

            “I mirrored your phone, Nat,” he said bluntly, making everyone in the room pause. “I’m not sorry. I had to find her. I know you value your privacy. I didn’t obtain any information other than Z’s location. I swear.” Bucky spoke the truth, opting to do so frankly and clearly.

            Nat, who had been positioned opposite Bucky and I around the kitchen island sauntered toward Bucky slowly while keeping eye contact. Bucky stood in place, obviously waiting for whatever Natasha was about to unleash.

            “I already knew,” she said with her trademark smirk. “I was giving you the opportunity to be honest with me. I wasn’t sure if you would go behind my back again and try to wipe my phone before you thought I found out.”

            I sighed. She seemed…okay. Even Bucky seemed to relax marginally.

            “For the record, I wasn’t sworn to secrecy after Dublin and I would have helped you, punk.” She punched him lightly on his shoulder, giving him another smirk. “Thank you for being honest…but if you do it again I will kill you.” Her smirk disappeared and she grew more serious. “We’re glad to have you back to you though.”

            It was as close as anyone would get to Natasha ever saying she forgave anyone, and for that I gave her a grateful smile.

            “As for you–” she said, rounding her attention on me.

            I held my hands up before speaking, “I know, and I’m sorry I ran.”

            She sighed. “Apology accepted. But…,” she hedged as she considered what she was about to reveal to me, “I have something for you. Something—“

            “Awkward,” Sam sing-songed.

            Natasha turned to give Sam the stink-eye before speaking again. “We didn’t know about the CCTV footage or the cinemas in the back rooms,” she said bluntly as she held up a flash drive. “Bruce and I never made it to the backroom, so we had no way to know they were secretly recording everyone in the main rooms.”

            My stomach dropped as my lungs deflated. I quickly snatched the drive.

            Holy shit, the entire team watched us! I thought to myself as realization dawned on me.

            My breaths came in short, shallow billows. I was going to hyperventilate.

            “Easy, it’s okay,” Steve soothed behind me.

            I spun around to face him, a strange, strangled sound my only response. I’d meant to say Really? Okay? Is it? Instead I’d managed a garbled, “N-ghh.”

            “Damn it, Natasha,” Bucky said as he seized the flash drive from my hand, pulling me to his chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart…it was over so fast no one saw much of anything.”

            “He’s right,” Sam said. “It was just blind luck that you guys were on the screen when we raided.”

            “I don’t know if luck is the right word here, Sam,” I said, though my voice was muffled by Bucky’s chest.

            “I erased everything,” Nat said as she took my elbow to garner my attention. “Everything. This is the only thing that’s left,” she said as she gestured to the drive. “I thought you guys might want to keep it. Like a souvenir,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

            “Thank you?” I said, both sincerely and questioningly as I shifted in Bucky’s embrace. I mean I was grateful she had the wherewithal to erase, well, everything. But I didn’t know if I’d call the contents of the flash drive a souvenir.

            “Thank you, Nat,” Bucky said more definitively, inclining his head toward her.

            She just smirked. “At least we know how you guys got the invite…that was pretty hot.”

            “Jesus Natasha,” Steve said as he put his elbows on the island and buried his face in his hands.

            “Well it was,” she said as she turned to leave us. “And I win my bet with Bruce,” she said to me though her back was turned. “Oral sex is still sex.”

            I stared at her retreating form as she walked casually back to her quarters. When I turned around to face Sam, Steve, and Bucky I finally let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

            “We will never speak of this again,” I said, suddenly feeling very authoritative.

            “Sounds good,” Steve said as he stood upright.

            “Works for me,” Sam replied coolly. “When’s lunch?”

            I smiled at Bucky, feeling very peaceful as he smiled right back. Everything was going to be okay. We made a good team. All of us.

            Heck. I might even work up the nerve to watch that flash drive with Bucky some day.