Chapter 4
Steve was sure the day he had to give his daughter up was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. And even though in a way it still was, he couldn’t help but feel like her not knowing who he was and him having to live with that knowledge was harder.
In the letter to Tony he asked that Morgan know about him and know how much he loved her. But Tony chose not to do that one thing for him. Steve thought just this once Tony would put aside his feelings for him and follow through with his request. Steve had been wrong.
For years he wondered if leaving her in Tony’s care was going to be something he’d regret for the rest of his life. A part of him does wish he kept her, but deep down he knew he had made the right choice. Morgan was happy now. It was exactly what he wanted.
The one thing he started to regret more was coming back. It was obvious she didn’t need him; Tony and Pepper had done a great job taking care of her and his presence only interrupted their perfect life. No matter how badly he wanted to be a part of that picture, he knew he truly didn’t belong.
The thought of returning back to Wakanda crosses his mind. It wasn’t his real home, but it was a place he could go and feel safe. Bucky was still there, but even that didn’t seem enough to fully convince him to go. Morgan was holding him back.
Steve runs the idea by Natasha one day. They’re seated in the common room when he brings up the thought of returning to Wakanda. She is quick to convince him otherwise.
“You can’t leave,” she tells him. “What about Morgan?”
“She doesn’t know me,” Steve replies, swallowing the lump that has formed in his throat from speaking those words. It still hurts. “She’s happy, Nat. You should’ve seen her-”
“I did. Steve, she needs you. I know Tony and Pepper are taking care of her, but she still needs you.”
“I wanted to give her a good life. I feel I’ve done that.”
Natasha sighs and leans forward in her seat, reaching out to grab one of Steve’s hands. “Hey,” she urges softly, forcing him to glance up and meet her eyes. “She still needs you. I know you feel like you’ve done enough, but there’s still a chance for you to have a relationship with her.”
“Tony-”
“You two need to talk, and I mean really talk. This is about your daughter. Do you really want to leave and miss out on everything? You already let her go once. Don’t let her go again.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Well she doesn’t know you-”
“No, I mean if she does get to know me…what if she hates me? What if she’s upset that I left her?”
“She won’t be. I bet she’ll be happy to have her mother back.”
“Yeah.” Steve nods, though he’s still hesitant to believe the words being said to him. “I need to go,” he says and he rises to his feet.
“Steve-”
“I’m fine. I just need some air.”
He needs more than just some fresh air, he needs to think; clear his mind. Steve steps outside, inhaling the cool air. It helps, but it’s still not enough to ease his troubled mind.
Leaving would be easy. It’s tempting to disappear again, but he made a promise. He was done running away. His daughter needed him.
A heavy sigh leaves his lips and he glances down, his eyes filling with tears at the thought of her. It was going to take more than just a talk with Tony to convince him that he wasn’t going to leave Morgan again. He didn’t even know if Tony would allow for them to speak again. Their first attempt hadn’t gone so well.
But he couldn’t give up. He needed that second chance.
Steve glances up at the sound of squealing wheels. A car is racing down the road; it’s too far for him to recognize the vehicle and he frowns. It’s not until it gets close does the Audi become familiar.
The car pulls up beside him and the driver’s side window rolls down. “Why the long face?” Tony questions.
Steve lets out a sigh before replying, “Just got a lot on my mind.”
Tony hums in response. “I figured that much. You don’t have to tell me what it is. I have an idea.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“Something like that,” Tony says and he climbs out of the car, shutting the door behind him. “I just want peace.” Tony flashes the symbol for peace. “Turns out resentment is corrosive and I hate it.”
“Me too,” Steve agrees.
Tony moves around the car toward the trunk, and Steve follows, watching as Tony lifts up something Steve thought he’d never see again. Tony holds the shield up and Steve sighs.
“Tony, I don’t know,” Steve says, eyeing the shield with uncertainty. He’s hesitant to fully accept it. He’s not Captain America anymore.
“Why? He made it for you. Plus, honestly I have to get it out the garage before Morgan takes it sledding.”
Steve takes the shield and puts it on. He’s transported back to the days when he relied on this shield to get him through many battles. He never thought he’d get another chance to hold it again.
“Thank you, Tony.”
“Maybe we can figure this out. She wants to meet you.”
“What? You told her?”
“That’s what you wanted right? I should’ve done it a long time ago, and maybe it’s not too late. I already told her you’re coming over tomorrow so you better be there, Rogers.”
Steve smiles. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
Pulling up to Tony’s lake house for the second time proves to be just as, if not more, nerve wracking than the first. Steve takes a moment to collect himself before stepping out of the car. He’s not sure what to expect, but judging by the conversation he shared with Tony the day prior, he had nothing to worry about.
Morgan had wanted to meet him.
His stomach twists into uncomfortable knots with each step he takes. Meeting his daughter was all he could think about for the past five years. He had every right to feel this nervous and scared. He had no idea what she was going to say or how she was going to feel. Surely, she must be thrilled with his presence. She wouldn’t have asked to see him if she wasn’t.
It’s that reminder that gives Steve the courage to take the last few steps toward the house. Tony is already waiting for him on the front porch. Pepper isn’t anywhere in sight, just like she had been during his first encounter at their home, but her absence isn’t troubling as Steve makes it out to be.
“Pep’s inside making dinner,” Tony says, almost as if he could read Steve’s worried mind. “You gonna stay?”
“Oh. I-”
“Morgan already invited you.”
“Then I guess I have no choice.”
“She’s playing outside. Come on.” Tony makes a gesture with his head for Steve to follow him, and together they make their way away from the house and toward a quiet spot near the lake. Come to think of it, the whole property was quiet. It was peaceful.
Tony stops once they come to a small tent. “Maguna,” Tony calls out, and Steve can’t help but smile. He never understood Tony’s nicknames for everyone, but over the years he’s grown to accept them and love them. It was one of the things he loved about Tony. “Morgan H. Stark, you want to meet your mom?”
Steve’s heart flutters at those words and he sends a glance in Tony’s direction, receiving a small smile when their eyes meet. Steve is forced to look away when the flap of the tent pulls back and Morgan comes through. She’s wearing a metallic purple and gold helmet that closely resembles that of the Iron Man suit.
“Define mom or be disintegrated,” she says, holding her hand in front of her in the familiar Iron Man pose.
Tony frowns and reaches out to take the helmet off her head. “How did you find this?”
“Garage.”
“Really? Were you looking for it?”
“No. I found it, though.”
Tony lets out a sigh and turns to Steve. “See? She loves hanging out in the garage. Guess it’s a good thing I gave you your shield when I did.”
Steve chuckles softly.
Morgan is looking at him now, her expression shifting into a slight frown. She’s confused, that much Steve can tell. She has every right to be. He was nothing but a stranger to her. He’s hoping by the end of the night he would no longer be a stranger, but someone else to her.
“Hi,” Steve is the first to say. Morgan doesn’t return the greeting, her brows only furrowing more. It’s like she’s trying to read him.
“Well go on, squirt,” Tony tells her. “What do you say?”
“Hi,” She finally says, her voice soft and laced with uncertainty.
Steve suddenly feels too tall standing beside her and he gets down on one knee to be at her level, hoping it makes her more comfortable. She relaxes slightly now that they can properly look at each other.
“Do you know who I am?” Steve asks. He knows Tony had said she did, but he wants to hear it from her.
Morgan nods her head. “You’re my other mommy.”
“Yeah.” Steve smiles. He can’t get over how perfect she is. There’s still some resemblance to himself in her, but it was clear she took after Tony. “Can I give you a hug?” Steve asks, growing nervous when he realizes Morgan could deny his request.
She doesn’t, though and she comes closer, allowing him to wrap her in a warm embrace. She hugs back, resting her head on his shoulder. Steve brings her closer, eyes filling with tears and a few rolling down his face.
“Why are you crying?” Morgan asks, pulling back slightly, their eyes meeting.
“Because I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” Steve replies. He’s granted another hug, and this time she lets him hold her for as long as he needs. “I’m happy to finally meet you, sweetheart.”
When they break apart, Morgan carefully reaches out to brush away the tears that won’t stop falling down his face. “Don’t cry, mommy.”
“Sorry. I’m just happy.”
Morgan smiles. “Do you want to play?”
Before Steve can give a response, Tony is cutting in. “How about later? Dinner is probably almost ready.”
“Are you gonna eat with us?” Morgan asks, her uncertainty leaving her and excitement taking its place.
“Yeah.” Steve nods. “If that’s alright with you?”
“Yes!” Morgan reaches for Steve’s hand. “I want to show you my room and the alpacas and my toys and-”
“Morgan,” Tony scolds. “Give him a minute. You have all night to show him those things.”
Morgan frowns and Steve can’t help but smile at her expression. That right there was a Stark look. “Fine,” she says exasperated.
“Don’t let her cute little face fool you. She can be difficult,” Tony warns.
“Sounds like someone I know,” Steve teases.
Tony smiles. “Yeah, you might be right. And here I was thinking she got it from you.”
“Daddy,” Morgan groans. “You’re talking too much. Let’s go inside!”
“Well go!” Tony gestures for her to move. “Lead the way, little miss.”
Morgan smiles and leads Steve back toward the house.