Chapter 5
To say Steve was nervous about being in Tony’s home would be an understatement. He’s never felt so uneasy and out of place in his entire life. He thought being around Tony again would bring him some form of joy, and to a certain extent it does, but there’s plenty of room left for him to feel out of touch with the man he loved.
Morgan is there to swoop in and rescue him, deciding he needed a tour of the whole house. Steve manages to get a glimpse of Pepper in the kitchen, making sure to send her a little wave before his daughter is yanking him forward and away to the next room. Tony decides to stay behind and help Pepper finish up dinner.
Steve is given a quick view into what he can only assume is Tony’s study.
“Daddy works all day in here,” Morgan says, a hint of boredom in her tone. She takes Steve’s hand again and smiles up at him. “Can I show you my room?”
Steve smiles back. “Lead the way.”
Before they can even ascend the stairs, Tony is emerging from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready, kiddo. Go wash your hands.”
Morgan huffs. “But, Daddy!” She whines, her brown eyes big and bottom lip jutting out.
Tony shakes his head and points up the stairs. “Wash your hands. I will take your toys.”
Morgan rolls her eyes then makes her way up the stairs.
“See? Don’t be fooled. You want something to drink?” Tony asks and gestures with his head for Steve to follow him.
“Water’s fine,” Steve replies as they make their way into the kitchen. He meets Pepper’s eyes for a second before she’s turning away to get plates from the cupboard.
“You sure you don’t want anything else?” Tony asks and hands Steve a glass of water.
Steve shakes his head and takes a sip. His stomach twists into uncomfortable knots, and for a second he’s regretting coming by. It was painfully obvious that his actions had not only upset Tony, but Pepper as well. He wonders if she’s thrilled to see him right now. Probably not. He was practically throwing off everything they’ve built over the years.
Morgan is returning a few minutes later, making sure to rush to Steve and wrap her arms around his waist. It catches him off guard and he nearly chokes on his water, sending Morgan into a fit of giggles. Most of the water ends up on his shirt and he mutters a curse. Pepper comes over and hands him a towel, smiling sweetly at him.
Maybe they were good after all.
Steve thanks her and tries to wipe up most of the water. Morgan is still giggling, only for her to grow quiet when Tony gives her a stern look.
“Sorry, Mommy,” Morgan says softly.
Steve is ready to accept the apology, only to realize that it wasn’t meant for him. Morgan is staring at Pepper. Tony is still giving her a hard look and she apologizes to him next.
Steve turns away to clean up his shirt, but really it’s to hide the tears that have gathered in his eyes. He lets out a breath, hating how shaky it sounds. Someone is touching him and he jumps from the contact.
“Bathroom is upstairs if you want to clean up,” Pepper tells him.
Steve nods and excuses himself. He can hear Tony lecturing Morgan again, then his voice is fading out once Steve reaches the top of the stairs. He follows the hallway and pokes his head into the first room he finds. It just so happens to be Morgan’s room.
He takes in every inch of the space, smiling to himself when he notices the artwork on her walls. He contemplates stepping inside to get a better look, but he holds off and exits the room, closing the door halfway on his way out.
He locates the bathroom and shuts the door, then he’s leaning against the counter and taking a good look in the mirror. His eyes are visibly brighter due to the tears that have formed in them, and he blinks quickly to try and rid them, but it proves futile. All he can think about is the little girl downstairs and how she barely knows who he is.
It was going to take time for her to become adjusted to him. He understood if she needed more time. For years she’s only known Tony and Pepper as mommy and daddy; he wasn’t anything to her. At least not yet.
Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm himself. When he opens them again, he feels slightly better and stronger to face the rest of the evening. There wasn’t much he could do about his shirt, but that wasn’t an issue. Not when he had bigger things to deal with.
Dinner goes by surprisingly smoothly. Morgan does most of the talking, making sure to bring up her friend, Gerald the alpaca, in most of her stories. Steve honestly can’t wait to meet him.
Tony says a few things here and there, but it’s Pepper who keeps to herself. She occasionally will look up from her plate to remind Morgan to eat her vegetables, but other than that her head is down and she picks at her food.
Steve wishes there was something he could say to make things better, but he knew time was the only thing that could mend what was broken.
He notices the way Tony reaches for Pepper’s hand and squeezes it, making Pepper glance up at him and they share a smile. It hurts to see Tony in love and happy with someone else.
“Mommy!” Morgan’s voice snaps Steve from his thoughts. He ignores her, thinking she is calling out for Pepper again. But then the room is silent and Steve peers up, finding Pepper and Tony looking at him expectantly.
“I think she means you,” Pepper says and clears her throat before glancing down again. She isn’t fast enough and Steve is able to see how shiny her eyes appear.
“Mommy?” Morgan says again, this time shaking Steve’s arm. “Can I show you Gerald now?”
“Um…” Steve glances up at Tony, silently asking him for permission.
Tony nods. “But first finish your dinner,” he says and Morgan frowns. “Oh come on. You have like two bites left.”
Morgan giggles and shoves the rest of her food into her mouth. She gets up from her chair to quickly take her plate to the kitchen.
“Okay, Daddy, I’m done!” She declares proudly.
Tony waves her away. “Go on then.”
Morgan rushes back to Steve, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt to get him up. He smiles and follows her out of the house.
Gerald is behind a wooden pasture a few feet away from the house. There are a couple of other alpacas, but it’s evident that Morgan has a sweet spot for Gerald. She rushes up to the fence and stretches her hand inside, calling him over.
“He’s my favorite.” Morgan smiles when Gerald comes over to get his head scratched.
Steve nods and puts his hand through to stroke along the alpaca’s neck. “He’s soft.”
“I told you he’s nice. Do you have alpacas at your house?”
Steve chuckles and shakes his head. “No alpacas. I do have a Hulk though.”
“Uncle Bruce!”
“You know him?” Steve asks, his heart shattering when she nods. At least Tony told her about some of his friends. It’s a shame he was never mentioned.
“Can I go to your house?”
“Uh...let’s ask your Dad-parents, okay?”
Morgan sighs. “Okay.”
After spending a few minutes petting Gerald, Morgan decides it’s time to show off her bedroom. Steve doesn’t tell her he’s already gotten a glimpse of it.
She shows off all her toys and the artwork he had seen earlier. He recognizes the man in red and gold armor almost instantly, but it’s the next picture of Morgan and her family that has Steve fighting back tears.
Morgan collapses on her bed with a yawn. She turns toward Steve and pats the spot next to her. The bed was only big enough to hold her, but Steve couldn’t deny his little girl anything, and he joins her on the bed, his body pressed between her and the wall.
“Mommy?” Morgan says, then she huffs at her own words. “It’s confusing.”
“What is?” Steve asks, turning his head in her direction. She’s still glancing up at the ceiling.
“I have mommy but you’re my mommy too.”
Steve nods. “It is a little confusing, huh? You can always call me something else if that makes you feel better.”
Morgan takes a moment to consider this, then she says, “I can call Mommy mommy and you Mama.”
Steve smiles. “I’d like that.”
Morgan curls up beside him and takes his hand, studying his fingers. “Do you have a ring like Daddy?”
“No, sweetheart.”
“How come?”
“I don’t know.”
Morgan continues to inspect his hand, then she opens it up and places her hand against his, giggling from the size difference. Steve smiles from the sound and turns toward her, unable to get enough from the way her eyes light up.
“Mama?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I go to your house tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow? I don’t see why not.”
“I’ll ask Daddy.”
“Good idea.”
They fall into silence after that. Morgan rests her head over Steve’s chest, her eyelids growing heavy. Steve is careful when he wraps an arm around her, not wanting to come on too strong and scare her away. He’s tempted to kiss her head, but he holds back. Just asking for a hug had been difficult.
A soft knock reaches his ears and Steve peers up, finding Tony lingering in the doorway.
“Is she asleep?” Tony asks.
Steve glances down and nods his head. “Just about. I better go.”
He’s careful when he untangles himself from Morgan. She rolls over and hugs one of the stuffed animals nearby. Steve smiles down at her and finds himself reaching down to gently brush her hair out of her face.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” he whispers.
Tony is still staring at him, and when their eyes meet, he gestures for Steve to follow. Once downstairs, Steve thanks Pepper and says his goodbyes. He gets one in return, but there was still hurt in her eyes.
“She liked you,” Tony says once it’s just the two of them and they’re walking to Steve’s car.
“You think so?” Steve asks and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “I didn’t want to scare her.”
“Nah. Nothing scares that kid. She’s strong like her mother.”
Steve’s jaw tenses. He’s unsure if Tony is referring to him or Pepper.
“Thank you for letting me meet her,” Steve says once he’s at his car. “I really appreciate it.”
Tony waves him off. “It’s nothing. It’s long overdue, right?”
“Yeah. Extremely. Will I get to see her again?”
Tony lets out a sigh. “Pepper and I will figure out what to do from here.”
“Pepper? Why?”
“She has a say too, Steve.”
“But I’m her-”
“Please don’t make this difficult. The circumstances are...rough.”
“You mean because I’m a criminal?”
“I don’t want Morgan to get hurt.”
“I’m not going to hurt her. I already did that once.”
“We’ll talk about this later. Thanks for stopping by.”
Steve nods, but says nothing. Tony gives him one last look, then he’s turning away and walking back to his house. Steve decides to leave, and the minute he’s in the car and invisible, he lets the tears fall.