Chapter 3
The plate in his hand has been scrubbed at least five times. Tony doesn’t notice, too engrossed in his own thoughts and the day’s events. It had started off normal, at least...what was normal for him these days. He never spent too much time in the lab anymore; his time was precious and most of it was spent with his family.
He never pictured his life to turn out like this. The lake house had been one of his better ideas, along with spending the rest of his life with the woman he loved. But the one choice he made, the one he will never regret, was his daughter.
Morgan meant the world to him. He couldn’t imagine a life without her, and blessed just didn’t seem like the right word to describe having her. She saved him. Saved him from a world of pain and suffering. Without her, there was no telling how he would’ve ended up.
There was one person that deserved some thanks. He wouldn’t have his daughter if it wasn’t for Steve.
Tony was sure he was never going to see Steve again. After what happened to them in Siberia, the idea of them getting back to what they used to be seemed impossible. Tony was able to move past their opinions regarding the accords, but once he learned the truth about his parents and how Steve had kept the truth from him, that was where Tony struggled to move on from.
Steve was the last person he expected to betray him. Their relationship had always been rocky; they struggled to meet in the middle sometimes, but at the end of the day they still remained friends. That’s the outcome Tony had been looking forward to during their disagreement of the accords. Only it never turned out that way.
Tony forces Steve from his thoughts and tries to focus on the dishes, moving on from scrubbing the plate to rinsing it. Water splashes everywhere, and with a heavy sigh he reaches forward to shut the water off and clean up his mess.
Morgan must be asleep; he can’t pick up any sounds from upstairs, but he knows how sneaky she can be. He decides to check on her, only to get sidetracked again when he passes by the study. He steps inside the room, immediately searching for the letter had he kept tucked away in here.
It’s still in the envelope, his name scribbled along the front in familiar writing. It resembles the first letter he received from Steve, but the details inside held so much more.
Tony’s careful when he opens the envelope and slides the letter out. He’s only read it once, back when he first found it with his daughter.
Tony,
I know I’m the last person who should be asking you for anything, but I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t important. There’s no easy way to say this, and believe me if there was I would’ve told you a long time ago.You have a daughter. I know it’s unexpected and I hate for you to learn about her this way, but I didn’t know how to tell you. Keeping her from you was the last thing I wanted to do. I already kept so much from you and I couldn’t do that again. You and I both know leaving her in your care is for the best. You can offer her a life that I can’t give. Giving her up has to be one the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But she’s better off with you. I know we never really talked about having kids, and honestly I’m not sure if you even wanted them, but I know you’ll be a wonderful father to her. I know she’ll be safe and loved with you. I wish there was a way for me to remain in her life, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll get to see her again. I don’t know when that day will come, so until then can you do something for me? Tell her how much I love her. Tell her that the choice I had to make was for the best. All I wanted was for her to be safe, to be loved, to have a chance at a normal life. Don’t let her forget about me, Tony. I haven’t forgotten about her. Maybe one day, we can find a way to get past this and become a real family.
Steve.
Tony reads the letter a couple more times before it feels like it’s become embedded in his brain. With a heavy sigh he sets it down. He hadn’t followed through with Steve’s request...at least, not all of it. He loved Morgan like Steve wanted; he cared for her and made sure she was safe, had that normal life Steve so desperately wanted her to have. But the one thing he chose to do was tell her about him.
He knows deep down that she deserved to know who Steve was and the sacrifice he had to make. He let his bitterness toward Steve cloud everything. Steve had kept something from him and now Tony was doing the same, and to the person he never wanted to hurt.
“Shit,” Tony sighs and leans back in his chair.
“Shit,” comes a small, sweet voice. Tony turns in his chair at the sound, finding Morgan sitting on the last step of the stairs.
“No.” Tony holds a finger up to his lips and shakes his head. “You don’t say that word. What are you doing up, little miss?”
“Why are you up?” Morgan asks.
“I got something on my mind,” Tony replies, his fingers wrapping around the letter until it crinkles. She hadn’t noticed it yet.
“Was it juice pops?”
“Sure was.” Tony smiles and gets up from the chair. He leaves the letter behind and takes Morgan by the hand. “What kind do you want?”
They finish their juice pops and Tony tucks Morgan back onto bed. Her mouth is sticky with red and he wipes her clean with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Daddy, who was that guy?” Morgan asks. Tony knows exactly who she’s referring to and he can’t help the small sigh that escapes him. He had been waiting for her to question him about Steve.
Tony doesn’t know how to answer. He knows what his response should be, and yet he can’t bring himself to say the words out loud.
“Is he your friend?” Morgan asks when Tony doesn’t reply to her first question.
“Yeah.” Tony nods. Internally he’s screaming at himself to tell her the truth, but this was never how he envisioned doing it yet.
“Oh.” The way Morgan frowns makes Tony wonder if she has another question lined up, but when they remain in silence, Tony decides to end their conversation and put her to bed.
“Go to sleep,” he tells her, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you tons.”
“I love you 3,000.” Morgan smiles.
Tony smiles back. “Wow.” He whispers and he rises to his feet to turn off her bedside lamp. “3,000. That’s crazy. Go to bed or I’m selling all your toys.”
Now that Morgan is tucked into bed for the second time that night, Tony goes in search of his wife. He finds her lounging in the living room, curled up on the couch with a book in her lap.
“Not that it’s a competition, but she said she loved me 3,000,” Tony says when he enters the room. Pepper glances up at him.
“Does she now?”
“You were somewhere in the low 6 to 9 hundred range.” Tony chews on the stick left over from his juice pop. “What’cha reading?”
“A book on composting.”
“What’s new with composting?” Tony asks. Pepper begins to answer only for Tony to interrupt her. “She asked about Steve.”
“What?” Pepper glances up at him.
Tony sighs and joins her on the couch. “She asked me about him.”
“Okay,” Pepper says, and she puts her book to the side. “What did you say?”
“That he was a friend.”
“Tony-”
“I know, I know. What was I supposed to say, Pep? She’s not going to understand. I wanted to wait until she was older.”
“I know, but maybe now is a good time to tell her. You can’t keep it from her forever.”
“I wasn’t.” Pepper frowns at him and Tony huffs. “Okay. I just wanted him to know how it feels.”
“But you’re hurting Morgan in the process. She deserves to know who her real mother is," Pepper says.
“You’re her real mother. All he did was-”
“Tony, he’s her mother.”
“You helped raise her, though. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”
Pepper smiles softly and reaches out to take Tony’s hand in her own. “I know you’re still upset with him, but don’t take her away from him. He deserves a relationship with her.”
“I never thought he was gonna come back. God you should have seen the look on his face when I told him he abandoned her.”
“But he didn’t. He chose to give Morgan a good life, and she has that now.”
“I know. I was just upset. I was never going to tell Morgan that you know,” Tony says, followed by a sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m supposed to tell her. She’s still so young and right now you’re the only one she’s ever known as her mom. How the hell do I explain to her that she has two?”
Pepper rubs his knuckles soothingly with her thumb. Her touch comforts him, but it’s not enough. He’s never been so scared and confused in his life. He thought he had been like this back when he first discovered he had a daughter, but it was different now.
Now he had to tell Morgan the truth. And he had no idea how to do it without hurting her.
“Something tells me I should put it in a locked box and drop it in the bottom of the lake...and go to bed,” Tony says. He’s referring to the letter he has yet to show his daughter, but maybe he’s referring to the whole situation.
“But would you be able to rest?” Pepper asks.
Tony lets out a heavy sigh. For years he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Steve and the truth he needed to reveal to Morgan. He had envisioned telling her when she was older. At least then she would understand the situation. But he couldn’t keep this from her any longer. It hurt him when a life-changing secret was held from him. He didn’t want that for her.
The sound of the stairs creaking breaks through the silence that has fallen over them. Both Tony and Pepper turn their heads in the direction of the stairs, finding their daughter lingering on the steps.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Pepper coaxes her to come into the room with them. Morgan still appears hesitant as she slowly makes her way into the living room.
“Come here, Maguna.” Tony holds his arms out and she rushes into them, immediately calming down once she’s sitting comfortably in his lap. “Why are you still awake?” Tony asks, using one hand to brush his fingers through her hair.
“I heard you and mommy talking,” Morgan says, her voice soft.
“Yeah?” Tony continues to brush her hair back. Morgan nods her head. Tony glances up at Pepper, receiving a nod of approval. “Mommy and I have something to tell you.”
Morgan is looking up at him expectantly. The words are right there on the tip of his tongue, but yet he struggles to get them out. He looks to Pepper for help, and she offers a reassuring smile. She’s there to help him if he needs it, but he needs to be the one to tell Morgan.
He sighs. “Remember that guy that came by today?”
Morgan nods her head. “Your friend.”
When Tony doesn’t continue, Pepper reaches out for him again, soothingly running her hand along his arm to comfort him. Tony sends her a small smile, then he’s turning back to Morgan. She’s still staring at him, waiting for him to tell her more.
It was now or never.
“That guy...he’s not just my friend. He’s...he’s your mom.”
Morgan’s expression shifts, a small frown forming over her face. “But I have a mom,” she says, her eyes darting in Pepper’s direction and she points. “My mommy is right here.”
“I know,” Tony nods, and she turns back to him. He runs his fingers through her hair again, pushing the dark strands away from her face. “But you have two mommies. When you were a baby, your other mommy had to leave for awhile.”
“Oh.” Morgan is still frowning. “Why? Where did he go?”
This was the hard part. There was so much that needed to be said, but Tony knows she won’t understand all of it. She was too young to understand the reason behind his fallout with her mother. That was a conversation for another time. Right now, all she needed to know who Steve was and that he loved her. Just like the letter said.
“He had to go away for a little bit, but he’s back now and-”
Morgan gasps. “Am I gonna lose mommy?” She asks, her voice full of panic and fear. She’s staring at Pepper again, brown eyes filling with tears.
“No, sweetie,” Pepper is quick to assure. “I’m not leaving you.”
“You’re not?” Morgan sniffs.
“No.” Pepper smiles and Morgan crawls out of Tony’s lap to snuggle up against her. Pepper brings her closer and places a kiss to the top of her head.
Morgan visibly relaxes. Her eyes are no longer full of tears and instead they grow bright. “I have two mommies now!” She exclaims.
Her excitement is infectious, and Tony can’t help but smile. “Yeah. You have two mommies.”
“Can I see him now? Can he come over and play? Daddy-”
“How about we talk more in the morning, hmm?” Tony suggests and Morgan frowns.
“Okay,” she says and turns to give Pepper a kiss. “Night night, mommy.”
“Goodnight, sweetie.” Pepper smiles.
Tony takes Morgan by the hand and he leads her back up the stairs and to her room. He has her tucked in again for the third time that night.
“You’re gonna go to sleep now, yeah?” He asks and Morgan giggles.
“Yes!” She says with another giggle.
“Good.” Tony smiles and gently pushes her head back until it hits the pillow. “Now go to sleep.”
Tony gives her a kiss and turns to leave, only to stop when she’s asking him a question.
“Daddy, what’s my other mommy’s name?"
“Steve.”
“Oh. Is he coming back?”
Tony doesn’t answer at first. Steve promised he wasn’t going to disappear again, but Tony was the one forcing him to go. He wonders if he drove Steve away for good this time. Hopefully, he didn't.
“Yeah. He’s coming back,” Tony finally replies. “Now go to sleep. We can talk later okay?”
“Okay.” Morgan smiles.
Tony leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
He needs to reach out to Steve. It was time he and Morgan properly met.