Daylight

"I need help upstairs!” RJ heard Steve’s voice, his fists were hurting from the punch he landed on the Hydra agent just seconds ago but as soon as he heard it the pain was long forgotten. Looking around, RJ saw as Bucky was fighting 4 guys at the same time, Sam could be heard on the roof and no one was upstairs to help Steve. 

Without even thinking, RJ climbed the stairs as quickly as he could, but when he arrived on the second pavement of the house, he could not see Steve. Looking around he realized his bedroom’s door was open. Grabbing his gun, he made his way towards it. 

He opened the door slowly to find Colt sitting on his bed, the man had his arms crossed. When he saw RJ walking in, he dared to smile. 

“YOU-“On the second Colt’s eyes met him, RJ was taken over by a fury he had never felt in his life.  He could understand why people who committed passionate crimes would say that they were blinded by anger; everything he could see was Colt and everything he could feel was hate towards the man. Nothing mattered anymore, RJ tried to remember what Bucky had told him about him being a good person to the core, but his mind was filled by his time with Colt. The beatings, the pain, the humiliation, how he was mistreated, considered less than human.

“You tortured me!” RJ threw himself to Colt, grabbing him by the collar, bringing him closer to his face. The kid was doing his best not to cry and hold back his tears, while Colt just smiled like it was all amusing to him. 

“You manipulated me!” RJ’s voice came out as a growl. He grabbed the closest thing he could find, a lamp, and broke it on the man’s face. “You stole my life!” Colt had taken a few steps away, but RJ still managed to punch him. “You tried to kill me!” 

RJ was about to land another punch when Colt blocked it like it was nothing. 

“And yet here you are.” For a second, RJ’s world stopped and he couldn’t breathe as he looked into the eyes of the man that had hurt him so much. “Maybe I did something right.” Colt threw him around the room like he was nothing, and the feeling of being worthless came back like a tsunami wave into the boy’s chest. 

RJ landed on the wall, his head hit it badly and blood was coming out of his mouth, he had probably bit his tongue when he hit it. “Now, are you going to calm yourself down? Or am I gonna have to beat all this extra energy out of you?” 

The boy looked while the man that starred in all his nightmares came closer. Back when he met Colt he was younger, desperate to have something, anything that would tie him to the world. The worst feeling he ever felt was not belonging anywhere, being part of a world that didn’t want you in it. Colt offered him a place to belong and he took it, no matter what the consequences of it were. Now, he could see how wrong it was. 

Steve and Bucky had shown him family, a life where he could be whoever he wanted to be. He did not belong in Hydra, he belonged in this non-conventional family. With Steve doing breakfast, Bucky taking him to missions, Sam and Sharon coming to help. Flashes of his short time there ran through his head as Colt prepared to hit him. 

With a move, he dodged it, grabbed Colt’s gun, and went to his back so he would be able to strangle him.  “Good boy.” He heard Colt say and pressed it a little harder. It was going great until Colt decided to throw himself forwards and destabilized RJ. Soon, RJ was on the ground, Colt’s feet on his neck, blocking any air from coming to his lungs. 

RJ tried his best to fight back, to let himself go, but he wasn’t able. Maybe he was weak and nothing like Colt had always told him and he would die just like he deserved, pressed like a cockroach.

He remembered what Bucky asked him when they first met. “Do you like killing?” and thought that it was the thing he hated the most. 

When he came back to his senses, RJ looked around and realized he was in a Hydra facility. One he had been only once, a long time ago. He tried to remember where it was, if Bucky and Steve would be able to find him by themselves, maybe they would be too late-

“Good to see you awake, boy.” Colt’s voice came from behind him. RJ was trapped on a chair, arms, and legs tied into it and he could only move his head. “I have so many plans for you and me, now that I’m out and you know those two are like family. We will be a great team.” 

“I’ll kill on the first chance I get,” RJ said, trying to hide the fear in his voice. 

“Good thing I think you’ll not get a chance.” Colt sat on a chair beside him, putting himself close and RJ would get anything to break free and punch the man until he was dead. “So, tell me everything you found out about them, I want to know the cereal Captain America eats for breakfast.” 

“I wouldn’t know. Never had breakfast with Sam.” RJ smirked. 

“Are you talking about that fake? The last act of stupid from Steve Rogers, give the shield to a black guy.” Colt leaned himself back and rolled his eyes. “Tell me about important people. The Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers, S.H.I.E.L.D!”

RJ pretended he didn’t hear it. 

“You think you can defy me, boy?” Colt’s voice was unbothered, like usual. He didn’t raise it not even when he was spanking RJ, no, he was always calm like he had the situation under his control. “Everything you are, I gave to you. I made you. You were nothing before me and you are nothing without me, it doesn’t matter what they told you. Deep inside of you, you know it was all lies and you didn’t believe in any of them because you know yourself as I know you.” 

RJ looked down at his feet. 

“Did you know that Alexander Pierce, rest in peace, had a theory for treating the Winter Soldier? He didn’t believe in the way the other handlers took care of him, he liked to give the Soldier rewards after missions that would keep him more stable than he had ever been. It wasn’t about fear; it was about making him want to stay.” He stopped for a moment and with a gentle touch, he touched RJ’s chin and made him look into his eyes. “The Soldier had clothes, nice food, and a warm bed. Once, a scientist tried to break the Soldier free and you know what he did? He broke the man’s neck. He didn’t even have orders either! He just didn’t want to leave.” 

RJ couldn’t look at Colt anymore so closed his eyes. Bucky never told him much about his time in Hydra and he knew how much the man hated it and never got over the things that he did. He remembered Bucky lying on the bed, sad because of the memories that were coming. Maybe this was one of them. 

“You see, I think this is a good technique”, Colt said with a smile on his face. “Bring someone in, show them love and family, make them think you are safe but use you for their gain. I should’ve done it with you sooner.” 

RJ tried to stop the words from coming, from hitting him so badly but he couldn’t avoid it. He wished Colt didn’t have so much power in him, so much control, it was so easy to believe in whatever the man would tell him than in whatever Bucky and Steve always told him. 

“My dear RJ, you are back home. You don’t need to pretend anymore. You’re free to be you.” 

“I don’t want to be whatever you want me to!” 

“But you don’t need to want something you already are.” 

*********

Steve punched the table as hard as he could. He, Bucky, Sam, and Sharon were on the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters back again, this time, it was so much worse. They have been trying to find where Colt could have possibly taken RJ and right now, they had nothing. 

“Steve, calm down”, Bucky said, breathing hard and as nervous as he was. 

“We need to go to all the Hydra bases we know, it is the best place for him to take him.” 

“Steve, we would only be losing time and you know it,” Sam said knowing he was right. “We have surveillance on all bases we know and even in suspicious places. All Hydra agents in our custody are being questioned right now as we speak. Redwing is on the streets. We will find him.” 

“But what if we find him too late, Sam?” 

“If Hydra wanted him dead they would’ve done it back in the house. They want something else.” Sharon interfered.

“They want him back with Hydra or as bait.” Bucky looked at Steve’s eyes. “We just need to outsmart them.” 

“What do we know about Colt?” Sam asked. 

“That he’s a show-off jerk who thinks he’s better than anyone else,” Steve said. 

“He doesn’t care about being seen. He likes luxury and is not a big fan of hiding.” Bucky completed. “For him, this is a game. RJ is an investment that Hydra needs back.” 

Sam looked at the floor for a moment and suddenly he looked at Steve and Bucky. 

“What?” Steve asked, full of expectations. 

“RJ is an investment, you both are the biggest threat to it. For him to get the boy back, he needs you both out of the game.” Sam said. 

“Yeah, but if he wanted to kill us he could’ve done it back then,” Bucky said this time. 

“No, he couldn’t,” Sharon spoke, nodding towards Sam. “If they killed any of you at the house it would only take RJ away from them. He needs you to make a mistake he can use.” 

Bucky looked at Steve. 

“He has something planned.” Bucky nodded. 

Like it was planned, an alarm in one of the screens lit up and they all looked towards it. A face recognition program was letting them know Colt was sitting in a diner, only a few hours away from where they were. 

Colt was eating some pancakes while corpses laid around him.  He dared to smile towards the camera and nod.

Bucky never felt so much anger in his life before. Colt was a cold, calculated man who had the kid he had learned to love right now. It made his body shake, his face red and he regretted not killing the man when he had the chance. He looked at Steve who had the same expression on his face. Knuckles white as he looked at the camera. 

“I’m gonna get a team ready,” Sharon said and excused herself out of the room. 

“Sam, do you have a suit I can use?” Steve turned back and looked into his friend’s eyes. 

“Steve, I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of you to go on this one,” Sam said and before Bucky could interject, he spoke. “I’m not comfortable following this guy's plan, especially when I don’t know anything about it other than he wants you guys.”

“I respect you, Sam,” Steve said and Bucky heard Captain America’s voice tone in every word he spoke. “But RJ is our kid and he’s in danger. We won’t sit this one out and you know it.” 

Sam closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “There is a tactical uniform that should fit you. I’m gonna get it ready.” 

Steve smiled and nodded at him. 

They got the jet and arrived there in record time. Bucky was the first one to go in.

“Oh! Soldier!” Colt smiled. “I was getting worried; you shouldn’t have taken this long.” 

Colt was keeping his voice calm but Bucky could see that he was looking around and behind Bucky, maybe hoping to see Steve as well. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but meeting you was the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do.” 

“And to think that RJ talks so good of you.” 

“Don’t you dare say his name!” Anger took over Bucky. “Where is he?” 

“You need to make up your mind, or you want information on where the little toy soldier is or I need to shut up?”

Bucky closed his eyes to avoid not ripping the man’s head out. 

“I just want to know where RJ is, you don’t care about him but I do and right the only thing keeping you alive is the information you have on him.” 

“And you think I’ll just tell you? Do you think I’m stupid?” 

“What do you want?” 

“You and your husband to be away from him. RJ is Hydra and he knows he’s better off where he belongs, he just needs to be reminded of that.” 

********

RJ had been transferred to a small room with a chair and a TV. He was so tired, so tired and all he wanted to do was close his eyes and go to sleep. Everything hurt; the bruises he had been trying too hard to ignore were making themselves known, he had a headache that was killing him and his throat was sore from where Mr. Colt had stepped. </p>

He allowed himself to drift off for a moment until the TV turned itself on and he heard a voice he knew so well. Looking up, he saw Bucky talking with Mr. Colt, the image looked like one from a security camera, it was far away but he could see they were both at a diner. Bucky stood up while Mr. Colt sat in front of him. He couldn’t see Bucky’s mouth moving, but he could see that Mr. Colt was telling him something. Suddenly the sound was on, making him jump a little. 

“He’s good, isn’t he?” He could hear Mr. Colt’s voice. 

“Not that good, I’ve seen better,” Bucky said and RJ had to look down at his chest to make sure he was not stabbed. Bucky would never say this, would he? 

“I’ve trained him to be the best, you may not like my methods but you have to admit he went out well.” 

“That would explain why he’s weak.” 

RJ shook his head as he told himself no so many times he lost the count. Bucky would never say this kind of thing; Bucky treated him as an equal on the missions, respected him, and even called him a partner.

“He is just a little boy. I see what you saw in him, so easy to be manipulated, so easy to be controlled. Just say the right words and push the right buttons and he’s ready to die for you.” Now tears were falling from RJ’s eyes. It was all a lie, Bucky was just like Colt. They were sitting and chatting, making fun of him, talking about how stupid he was. Everything was a lie. He did not deserve love, he knew that deep inside, he was a fool for believing people like Steve and Bucky could love him. 

It still hurts. RJ felt like something was ripping his heart off his chest, the pain was unbearable and he couldn’t hide the sobs that were coming out of him. How could they’ve done it to him? At least Hydra never made him pretend he was loved, just take it all off him. 

He looked at the screen and through his vision blurred by tears, he could see Bucky turning his back on Mr. Colt and leaving, giving up on RJ and leaving him behind. The screen turned black and he saw his reflection. Oh, how he hated what he was seeing.