Daylight

“We got it!” Sam announced with a big smile on his face and Steve let out a huge sigh of relief.

As soon as they got out of S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters, they already knew two things: (1) RJ was not with Colt at that moment; (2) it was a trap. They needed to be two steps ahead of whatever Hydra was planning and they advantaged only came with a call from Sharon, letting them know that the security camera on the diner had been broadcasting somewhere they would be able to identify if they got closer.

The plan they came up with was simple. Bucky would go in alone; since they had not identified any other Hydra agents other than Colt, it was going to be easy; he was going with a signal localizer and would be able to track down where the broadcast was going. Steve would stay in with Sam. Hydra did not know he was back in action and they would like to keep it that way, just like a secret weapon.

All the time Bucky was inside, he had to hold himself back, bite his tongue, and tell every cell of his body that he could not kill the man in front of him right now. He was taunting Bucky, saying nasty things about the boy Bucky loved and cherished. If they did not need them to think that it was going well, Colt would be dead a long time ago.

“I’ve trained him to be the best, you may not like my methods but you have to admit he went out well,” Colt said with a smirk and Bucky felt anger burning into his chest, he didn’t think he had ever hated someone as much as he hates Colt.

“Everything good RJ has comes out of himself; it has nothing to do with you. You are weak and pathetic.” Bucky said between his teeth.

“I’m not so sure, Bucky Barnes,” Colt answered. “You know, I do see what you saw in him to steal him from Hydra-“

“He’s not a thing to be stolen! He is a person!” Bucky busted. “What I saw in him was strength, compassion, someone that was manipulated and controlled, but still kept going strong. You just knew the right buttons to push and then you made him die for you, but he ended that. He is better than you will ever be.”

Colt dared to laugh.

“Where is RJ?” Bucky spoke as threateningly as he could.

“Not here, but I will make it easy for you: I took only an hour to get here.” At the same time, Bucky heard Sam telling him that they had gotten a location. “I would advise you to hurry, the little boy will not last long.”

Bucky turned his back on Colt, knowing he would have plenty of time to put him down and into the Raft where he belonged, but a fight would only delay them, and right now, the only thing that mattered was to get RJ back.

“The signal ends in a Hydra base exactly 1 hour and 20 minutes from here.” Sam started.

“We already lost a lot of time,” Steve said and Bucky agreed. “We're gonna go at full speed.”

And they did so. The only plan they had was to attack and they couldn’t wait any longer to punch some people, whoever was in front of him. Bucky could see Steve stare far away, could see his chest rising and falling in exaggerated movements, so he came closer and put a hand on his husband’s knee.

“You know RJ is tough, right? He survived Hydra for years; he can do it for a few more minutes.”

“I know.” Steve tried to smile. “But Colt told us that he would not last long. What the hell did he mean by that?”

“He wants to freak us out, don’t let him get in your head, Stevie,” Bucky said and leaned a little and Steve lips met him. When the kiss ended, Bucky looked into his eyes and nodded and Steve gave him a sad smile.

“We are arriving in 10 minutes. I’m gonna fly and open the way the best I can. Redwing will look for RJ.” Sam said and just as the last word as spoken he threw himself off the jet and spread his wings, shield in hand. Steve and Bucky followed him close behind.

It was good, Bucky wouldn’t deny it. Fighting alongside Steve felt right, it was as if they were a machine that could work apart but would never reach their full potential by itself. They walked into the base that was disguised as an energy company as if it was nothing.

Steve did not lose his strength and didn’t look a day older, Sam was perfect with his shield now and Bucky… Bucky did not hold back whenever Hydra was involved.

They decided to get apart so they could try to find RJ faster. Busting into rooms, punching whoever came in their way was good, but all they wanted was to find a boy with black hair and blue eyes alive and well. Maybe pissed with a corky attitude, they wouldn’t mind.

Steve went to the west wing, not even looking twice to whoever wasn’t RJ. He had one goal there and that was the only thing that mattered right now.

He kicked a door at the end of the hallway, it went flying away and made a huge noise, just like many others did, but as soon as this one was down he felt his heart skipping a beat.

RJ stood in there sitting on a chair, tied by his arms and legs in front of a turned-off TV. The boy’s head was down, his hair that was usually perfectly styled now was flat and covering his eyes. For a second, for a terrifying second, Steve thought it was too late.

He ran and stopped for a moment in front of the chair, not daring to find out if he was right or not.

“RJ…” He whispered. The last thing he wanted was to freight the boy in front of him. “RJ, please.” He came closer, kneeling down in front of the chair.

Slowly RJ's head moved up and Steve could see his tears stained face. His blue eyes contrasted with the red in it; it was swollen and his face looked like a complete wreck. Whatever Colt did hurt RJ so much and Steve had to swallow his anger. The boy closed his eyes and flinched.

“Oh RJ… I’m gonna take this off, ok?” Steve calmly asked but there was no answer from the kid. RJ stood there, motionless, head hanging low, as if he had given up and never in a million years would Steve think he would see that. RJ was always full of attitude and life, always coming back with a quirk remark or an ironic answer that was unbelievable. It was almost catatonic and hurt every cell on Steve’s body.

“I-I found him,” Steve announced in his communication before Sam and Bucky could keep looking any longer.

“Where?” Bucky sounded despaired.

“Just-Just come and find me.” Was all Steve could say as he took the restraints off and RJ did not move at all.

“Is he alive?”

“Yeah, but… Bucky, just come.”

Steve turned his communications off and all his focus was on RJ now. The restraints were off but RJ didn’t move.

“RJ, we gotta go. Get out of here and go home.” Steve had to control himself to not touch the kid. “Follow me, please,” Steve begged.

Finally, the boy’s blue eyes met his but there was no knowledge in it and Steve could feel a sinking feeling on his stomach, fearing that Hydra had wiped him as they’ve done to Bucky many times

“Why are you here?” The boy asked and it was shaky, full of doubts.

“You know why. Because you are my kid. I love you and we miss you. Me, Bucky, Sam… Alpine.” Steve dared to smirk. “We all miss you and want you back.”

Something changed in RJ’s eyes and Steve could see the anger in them.

“Why do you keep lying to me? I won’t fall in your games anymore.” Steve wanted these words to come with anger and shouts, but all he could hear was a broken boy that had given up.

“I’m not lying to you. I don’t know what they told you, but it’s all lies. Everything.”

“They only showed me the truth,” RJ said and didn’t move a muscle.

Steve didn’t know what to do, he looked at the ceiling and towards the door, hoping that Bucky or Sam would come in and help him convince RJ that they only wanted the best for him.

“Ok. You know what? You may not believe in me, but you know that Hydra is no good and this is no place for you. When you first came into our lives, we promised you that you would be free and you are. You follow me out of here and after that, you do whatever you want, is that good?”

RJ looked at him confused as if he didn’t trust Steve enough to keep his promise and it hurt Steve more than the kid would ever know.

On this very second, Bucky showed up at the door, painting and taking deep breaths. At that moment, he saw RJ a smile spread through his face but a look at Steve was enough to know the situation wasn’t good.

RJ looked at him but didn’t meet his eyes, instead, his eyes met the floor, as if he was ashamed. And all Bucky could do was question what the hell had happened?

“Guys, you need to hurry. I can’t hold them back much longer.” Sam’s voice came on the speaker.

Steve looked in despair over Bucky, hoping for some help on how to deal with the situation, but Bucky was as lost as he was or even more.

“RJ, we need to go now! Whatever happened here, I know you don’t belong to Hydra and you don’t want to, so please, let’s go.” Bucky said.

The boy looked at Steve and then at Bucky and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing. He just closed it and nodded.

Steve and Bucky couldn’t hide their relief when RJ walked out of the room with them, they ran through the hallway together and found three Hydra soldiers trying to hold them back. As if something switched inside RJ, his doubtful eyes and small posture changed completely and he was back into fight or die mode. Punching and kicking all the enemies like usual.

They made a good team, Bucky couldn’t help but think when he saw how smooth the three of them worked together and soon they were making their way out of the base. Sam was already outside, clearing the path for them.

Sunlight always blinded RJ and he had to cover his eyes. The boy felt a hand behind his back and after his vision cleared, he could see Bucky standing in front of him with a worried expression on his face. “He can fake it really well,” the voice in his head said and he agreed. If he did not know, better he would’ve believed in him as he did all those months ago.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?” Bucky asked him and now he could see Steve and Sam standing behind with the same look on their faces.

RJ wanted to scream, wanted to punch them all, and kill them for making a fool out of him. They took him in when he was at his slowest and they all took advantage of him, used him to fight their fights, just like Hydra.

In one quick movement, he stepped away from Bucky’s hand; like his touch was burning him and RJ could see the hurt on his face as he did.

“Ok, you don’t want to be touched. But I need to know if you are okay.”

“Like you care.” RJ wanted him to hurt, for him to cry as he had done.

“Whatever happened, we need to leave this place now,” Sam said, making RJ look at him. RJ wasn’t ready to see Mr. Colt standing right behind him with a smirk on his face.

“Why leave so soon?” Colt said in his annoying voice.

The four of them – Steve, Bucky, Sam, and RJ – all got into fighting positions. Colt let out a laugh.

Sam, the closest, was the first one to engage, followed by Steve and then Bucky. RJ wanted to fight, wanted so much to punch, kill, or just do anything but his body wasn’t following his commands. While they were all fighting on the open field, RJ could only stand in there.

He kept watching as Sam threw his shield and almost knocked Colt out, but the villain got his gun just before it and shot towards Steve who had to dodge the bullet, making Bucky wide his eyes and lose his balance for a moment. RJ wanted to help them, but all he could do was stand in there cursing himself.

Colt was fast and fought dirty, did not care about killing someone like Steve, Sam and Bucky did, and that was his only advantage over them. One good enough for them to pull a sweat.

Bucky was able to kick the gun out of Colt’s hand and it landed right beside RJ’s feet.

For a moment, RJ’s world stopped and he could only see the gun standing beside him, begging to be used and for him to finish what he had started, for him to accept what he was, a murder. With trembling hands, he got the gun off the ground, and in a haze, he pointed at Colt.

The fight stopped, Bucky, Sam, and Steve stopped what they were doing and looked at him, Steve’s eyes looked like they were about to come out of his face, he looked in despair at Bucky who had a surprised expression on his face. The only person who looked pleased about it was Colt.

“Oh! Finally! Finally!” The Hydra agent yelled with a smile on his face. “RJ is finally gonna show what he really is. Show them, boy. Show them why you are Hydra.”

RJ’s hands were shaking, flashes of Colt telling him he was going to be great, the manipulation, the torture, the hurt he was put through during years were all coming to him.

“Don’t listen to him! RJ you are better than this, put the gun down.” Steve said now and Bucky nodded.

“RJ, we have other ways to fix this,” Sam said this time.

“You-you had him and you let him go. You couldn’t fix it!” RJ yelled towards Sam. “You promised me! You lied to me! You all lied to me!” His voice sounded wet but he did not know if he was crying.

“I know you are hurt, I know this is hard, but-“Bucky started to say and RJ couldn’t help but wince at the man’s voice.

“YOU LIED! You don’t care about me, you don’t- You never did. Never will, I’m just a… pawn.” RJ said, looking right into Bucky’s eyes. Colt seemed pleased by the whole thing, he did not move a muscle to try to escape, this was part of the plan and they all knew it.

“Never! Never! RJ… You are like a son to me and Steve, we love you.”

“Don’t need to lie, Soldier,” Colt said laughing. “We all know, RJ is good at one thing and one thing only.”

“SHUT UP!” Steve yelled.

“RJ, please, put the gun down. You don’t need to be what they made you, I know you, and you would not kill a man that can’t defend himself.” Bucky said and it brought even more tears to RJ’s eyes.

“No, no, no, Soldier. RJ is a killer; you would be surprised at how easy it is for him to end someone’s life. A merciless, cold killer, a gun-“

RJ didn’t even feel as his finger pulled the trigger. He heard the sound and then saw Colt’s white hair becoming red and him falling into the ground, dead before he even hit it. He could see Steve, Bucky and Sam looking at each other, astonished and lost in what they were about to do next. Sam even tried to stop the bullet with the shield but it was too slow.

It was all in slow motion, RJ felt like watching his life through someone’s point of view, a tasteless movie rated R that he wished he could’ve turned off.

When he came back to himself, he was still holding the gun, who now burned his hands, so he threw it on the ground, from where he should never have picked it. He looked up and saw Steve and Bucky coming towards him with open arms. Something was stabbing his chest and he had to look to confirm it was just heartbreak.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Bucky and Steve's warm arms were holding him steady; it was the only thing grounding him in reality. RJ could only feel the sobs coming out of his body, his knees had given up and the super-soldiers were the thing holding him up. “It’s okay, it’s over. It’s over.”

RJ tried to look at Colt’s dead body but Steve grabbed his head and put it on the chest, blocking any view he could possibly have.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” RJ barely realized he was saying those words, only noticed because of how his voice reverberated on Steve’s chest.

He doesn’t know how long he stood in there, in their embrace, being held together by the men who betrayed him, but he loved them so dearly he could not let go of the crumbles of love he received.

“I’m a murder.” The words came out without his consent.

Bucky was the first to let him go, but only to stand in front of him, look into his eyes, and say “you are not murder, RJ. You are a kid that was hurt, you are not murder.”

Steve nodded and RJ would argue with him but exhausted got him and his whole world when black.