Breakup fight (Anarcia)
Anetra was exhausted of this. She was exhausted of the constant fighting, of the passive aggressive remarks, of the thinly veiled resentment. She still loved Marcia. She would always love Marcia, but she didn’t know how much longer she could last like this. Something needed to change.
Her chest felt tight as she watched the clock on the wall tick over to the 9, the untouched dinner abandoned on the dining table long cold. She had no clue where Marcia was. She had stopped asking, for the most part. It never got her any answers anyways. And she wasn’t even certain she wanted to know. Confirming her suspicions would hurt more than the what-if’s.
Still, she felt her heart clench even more when she finally heard the front door unlocking a half an hour later. She didn’t want to do this. Doing this meant losing the most important thing in her life. But… in a way, she had already lost her.
“Marcia? Babe? Is that you?” She called out from where she was curled on the couch, date night attire swapped for cozy sweats and reading glasses, already on her third cigarette of the evening. She heard Marcia’s heels clicking on the hardwood floors before she saw the familiar coiffed blonde head of hair poking around the corner. She looked beautiful as ever, and Anetra could hardly look at her.
“Yeah, just me. You didn’t have to wait up for me, babe—“ she trailed off, eyes making their way to the smoldering cigarette still delicately held between Anetra’s index and middle finger. Marcia let out an indignant disgusted noise, crossing her arms and glaring at the offending object. “I’ve told you a million times not to smoke in the house. Plus, you told me you were trying to quit. Where did you get those cancer sticks anyways? I threw away all the packs in the house last week.”
Anetra closed her eyes, taking a long drag as she contemplated what to say. “It’s the only thing that helps me relax anymore.” She settled on finally. “And I’ve had a hell of a lot to be anxious about over the past few months. So forgive me for falling back to old habits, but I’m not sure you get a say in how I live my life. You certainly don’t let me have a say in how you live yours.”
Marcia’s eyes narrowed dangerously and Anetra steeled herself for the coming blows. “I don’t know what you’re trying to imply, Anetra, but I would be very careful how you proceed if I were you. You’d best not make any claims you can’t back up.” She hissed out and Anetra snapped, pushing herself to her feet and storming over to where Marcia was in the doorway.
“Oh, fuck all the way off with your empty threats. You don’t scare me. If you had nothing to hide, you would have told me where you were the first god damn time I asked you! But no. You’re fucking cagey every time I ask, and you’ve been getting home later and later and I have enough self respect to not let you string me along like some naive lovesick fool.” She growled, feeling her face going pink with anger.
Marcia took an instinctive step back, but the angry expression never left her face. “You don’t own me. You don’t get to know where I am 24/7 just cause we’re dating. You have no right to control me. I’m your girlfriend, that should be enough for you to trust me.”
Anetra threw her arms up in frustration, a humorless laugh escaping. “I never once wanted to control you, oh my god. I haven’t gone through your shit, I haven’t followed you anywhere. I’ve let this shit slide for months now. You’ve missed date nights, my performances. Family dinners, events, our fucking anniversary, and you still won’t tell me where you are or who you’re with. I want to trust you more than anything but I’m not an idiot. You don’t get blind trust anymore, you lost that privilege.”
Marcia’s jaw twitched and Anetra thought she saw a hint of sadness pass over Marcia’s face, but it was back to anger almost immediately, and Anetra half wondered if she had imagined it.
“God, you’re so fucking insecure, it’s crazy. Im spending time with my friends and staying late at work. You’re creating these fantastical stories about me to try and justify how controlling you are. I don’t have to put up with any of this, you know.”
Anetra stared at her, mouth open. Anetra was far from perfect, but she was far from a controlling partner. She had let so much slide without so much as a word of discontent slip. And she was done. “Go ahead, leave. I don’t care anymore, just leave,” her voice cracked on the final word and she had to blink rapidly to keep her tears at bay. She heard Marcia’s sharp inhale and brought the cigarette back to her lips, praying the nicotine would keep her calm enough to get through this.
“Wait, Anetra, babe, I didn’t—“ she started but Anetra cut her off before she could get her thoughts out.
“I’m serious. I can’t do this anymore. I love you, but… I just can’t. I’m sorry. Please just… just go.” The first tears spilled over and she clenched her eyes shut, embarrassed and overwhelmed. She felt Marcia’s thumb on her cheek a moment later, swiping at the wayward tears, and she flinched at the contact. “Don’t… don’t do that. Please. This is too hard already.” She whispered, more to herself than to Marcia.
Her resolve nearly broke entirely when she felt Marcia’s soft lips pressing a kiss to her forehead, wracking a small sob out of her. “I’m not letting you go without a fight, Neech. I can’t… I won’t. I’m gonna fight for us, even if you won’t.” She whispered against Anetra’s skin. Anetra wanted to believe her. More than anything in the world.
But she didn’t. “I’m sorry. I wish that was enough.” She sniffled, stepping back. Marcia’s jaw flexed and she looked down to the floor.
“Yeah. Me too.”