After
The moments after the snap were a blur. Kat being pulled to her feet by Steve, or maybe it was Thor, she couldn’t remember. Looking around for the rest of the team, not finding them. Wandering aimlessly back to the palace to assess the damage.
Kat was silent on the jet as they flew back to the compound. Steve felt Wakanda was in good hands with Okoye, she was they only one capable of leading in place of T’Challa and Shuri. She stayed silent in the conference room when Nat had screens pulled up of who they lost. Wanda. Sam. Bucky. T’Challa. Shuri. Dr. Strange. Groot, the tree creature that came in with Thor.
Peters face came up and Kat couldn’t hold back her sobs. Thor drew her into him, wrapping his large arms around her small frame. Peter was like a brother to her. Peter’s friends Ned and Michelle had also vanished. Peter’s Aunt May.
She watched Nat put a hand to her mouth when someone named Laura Barton, and three children showed up.
Then there were people that Kat didn’t know. Hope Van Dyne, Janet Van Dyne, Hank Pym, Erik Selvig, Sharon Carter, Senator Ross, Jane Foster, Wong, Nick Fury, Maria Hill. Kat looked around at who was left. She felt for them. They knew and were close to all these people.
Nobody really ate dinner that night. Kat retreated to her room, and upon entering she was almost knocked back by Loki’s scent. A wrecked sob escaped Kat’s throat and she fell to the floor. It was too much. There was a suit jacket lying on the couch. It had been the one he’d worn the night they’d made love for the first time. She pulled it on and crawled up into the bed and sobbed until she didn’t have any strength left to stay awake.
When she woke the next morning, she dragged herself into the bathroom and carefully took Loki’s jacket off, hanging it on the back of the bathroom door. She peeled off her uniform from yesterday and stepped in the shower. She hung her head and watched as the water ran red and brown from the dirt and blood she had caked on her.
Kat looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person looking back at her. There were bags under her eyes and they were red from all the crying, her nose raw. She pulled on a pair of Loki’s sleep pants and his t-shirt. She just needed to fell close to him right now. How was this possible? He was her soulmate. They were meant to spend forever together. And now he was gone.
She was sitting cross legged in her bed when there was a knock on the door. “Come in.” She said quietly. It was Thor. He didn’t look much better than she did. He was carrying a tray of food. “I’ve brought you breakfast Lady Katherine.” He told her, setting it down on the coffee table.
“Thank you, Thor, but I’m not really hungry.”
“Neither am I, which is strange for me. But we both need to eat. Come, sit with me.” He said. Kat sighed and got up, plopping herself down on the couch next to Thor. He handed her a cup of juice and a plate with toast on it. She took a bite and almost moaned. When was the last time she had eaten?
“Thank you, Thor. I needed this.” She told him. He nodded, stuffing a whole piece of toast into his mouth. “I did too.” He said around the bite. She chuckled and took a drink of her juice, setting the cup and plate on the table. She pulled her legs up underneath her on the couch and looked down at the clothes she was wearing.
“Will you tell me what happened to him? Please?” She asked quietly. She needed to know. She needed closure.
Thor cleared his throat and set his plate down beside Kat’s. “When Thanos attacked the ship, Valkyrie took all the Asgardians she could on the escape pods to the place Stark found for us. Thanos and his ‘children’ as he calls them, killed everyone else. We had the Hulk to help, but Thanos was to strong even for him. Heimdall used his last bit of magic to send Banner back to Earth.” He told her. She nodded, waiting for him to continue.
“Thanos wanted the Tesseract. I thought it had been destroyed on Asgard. I was wrong. Loki had taken it for himself. He offered it up when Thanos threatened to kill me. I had always doubted my brothers love for me until that moment. He then offered up his services to Thanos as a guide to Earth, it was all a façade, he drew a knife and tried to kill Thanos, but he picked him up but the throat and crushed it. I’m so sorry. I should have done better; I should have tried to save him.” Thor told her, letting out a strangled sob.
Kat reached her hand up and wiped a tear from Thor’s face. “I’m so sorry. You must have loved Loki very much.” She told him. He nodded. “After everything he’s done to me, I forgave him for all of it, every time. He always thought that because he was adopted, he wasn’t worthy of my love, or my mothers. But we loved him unconditionally. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him. I know you loved him. The way he spoke about you told me he loved you as well. He’s never talked about anyone like that before. The last thing he said to me was to tell you that he loved you more than you could ever know” Kat looked down and smiled, a tear falling down her face. But she did know. She loved him with everything she had.
“Thank you for telling me.” She told him. He nodded and got up, taking the plates with him.
Days turned into weeks and there was still no sign of Tony. He wasn’t listed in the snap list but nobody could find him, so they were just assuming he was gone. That maybe Thanos had killed him. Kat wouldn’t let anyone into her room except Thor and Steve. She didn’t leave her room either. They would bring her food and she would eat little bits here and there. She had lost the three most important people in her life and she didn’t know if she could take it much longer.
Kat felt a rumble from outside the compound. She looked out the window and saw a ship being placed on the ground by a glowing woman. She got up and ran outside with everyone else, to find the hatch opening to reveal Tony being led down the stairs by a blue robot.
Steve was the first to reach Tony, Rhodey soon after.
“I lost the kid.” Tony said to Steve. “Tony…we lost…” He started to say, but couldn’t finish, the grief of how many friends they’d lost still heavy. Tony asked about Pepper, and she came forward and threw her arms around his neck.
“Where’s Kat?” Tony said hoarsely.
“I’m here Tony.” She said softly. He held his hand out to her and she let him pull her to his side. “I’m sorry Kat, but Peter…he’s…”
“I know Tony. I know. I’m so sorry.” Kat sobbed into his chest. She was so thankful that he was okay, that she hadn’t lost everyone she had cared about.
They got him inside, and Bruce got him set up with an IV, and tried to get him to eat something, since it had been so long. Nat pulled up all the people they had lost again, explaining to Tony and Carol, the mystery woman who saved him and Nebula, what had happened.
“Where is he now?” Tony asked.
Steve sighed. “We don’t know. He just opened a portal and walked through.”
Tony sighed and looked over at Thor, who was kind of a catatonic state. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Oh, he’s pissed. He thinks he failed. Of course, there’s a lot of that goin around ain’t there.” Rocket said.
“He also lost Loki.” Steve said. Tony glanced at Kat with a sympathetic look on his face and she shook her head at him, not wanting to cry again.
“We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep space scans and satellites and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him.’ Steve started.
“Who told you that?” He asked sarcastically. “I didn’t fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleeker street magician gave away the store. That’s what happened, there was no fight, cause he’s not beatable.”
Steve asked Tony if Thanos had given him any idea of where he was going, and Tony went into his deflect mode. Kat knew this wasn’t going to end well. Tony started talking about a suit of armor around the world and how he knew that’s what they needed. He stood and Kat went to help him, but he brushed her off.
‘I said we’d lose. You said, ‘we’d do that together too.’ And guess what Cap? We lost, and you weren’t there. But that’s what we do right? Our best work after the fact? We’re the Avengers? I’m sorry you got pulled onto such a crack failure of a team Kat, you’re probably better off without us, probably would have caused you less heartbreak.” He said, falling to the floor.
“Tony…” Kat started to say. He couldn’t have meant that. Them finding her was the best thing that had ever happened to her, even if she didn’t have Loki anymore.
Bruce and Rhodey got Tony settled into a bed and gave him a sedative that would keep him out for a few hours. Kat sat on a chair right outside the room, keeping watch over the back, giving him and Pepper some space. Carol decided she was going to go off and kill Thanos, when Nebula told them where he would be.
He had used the stones again. The team decided to go get them back to use them to bring everyone back.
“Just like that?” Rhodey asked.
“Yeah, just like that.” Steve told him.